The Thin Line
by Radiorox
Summary: (Sequel to “Fully Engaged” read that first) As Harm and Mac struggle with day to day life, an enemy plans the ultimate revenge. (COMPLETE)
1. Alive and Well

Title: The Thin Line

Author: Jackie

Summary: (Sequel to "Fully Engaged" read that first) As Harm and Mac struggle with day to day life, an enemy plans the ultimate revenge.

"I walk The Thin Line for you.  
Do just what you say to.  
With fear as my friend,  
I'll walk the thin line one more time for you."  
Queensryche "The Thin Line" from the LP Empire.

Part 1 – Alive and Well

August 5, 2005  
1620 Local  
Burnette Residence  
La Jolla, California

Nothing had changed since the last time Harm had visited his parents house and yet, everything was different. Maybe it was because he was different? No one could deny that after the hell he'd been through, things had changed. He gazed out of the taxi window and to the large house where he'd grown up. Throughout the years the place seemed to call him back more and more often and he refused that feeling because he didn't want to hear his parents, mainly, his mother, bickering about his life and how he'll never settle down. But now, as he opened the door and stood motionless in front of his home, he knew it would be different and different was good.

"Sir, your bags." The cabbie said, placing his and Mac's bags next to Harm.

Reaching into his pocket, Harm pulled out money for the fare and a generous tip for the man. "Thanks." He glanced over at Mac who was standing just to his right, giving him time to be lost in his thoughts. It was odd though, that she hadn't immediately gushed about their local or the grandeur of the home as his previous friends had. It was then that he realized, she'd been here before. "You've been here, haven't you?"

She looked up at the house and nodded. "Yea, a few times. . .After you went missing. . . C'mon sailor, let's go surprise your folks." Mac grabbed her bag and headed towards the front door then turned back noting that Harm hadn't moved. He was standing there, with an odd expression on his face, staring at the house. It was starting to worry her, had this been a bad idea? "Harm?"

Somehow, standing outside, he'd managed to fly through years of memories. God, he was horrible with Trish and Frank through the years. Often he wouldn't call, he never went over for holidays and the hell he'd put them through when he was a child. . .It was mind boggling that still, they cared and helped him out so much. "We should have called." He said with a flyboy grin as he picked up his bag and walked up next to Mac. "I mean, I am all for giving people surprises, but. . ."

"I think your mom deserves to see you in person and I am not going to deny her that right. Neither are you, Harmon Rabb Jr." She said with a mock-scold then rang the doorbell. With a deep breath, Mac prepared herself for the onslaught of emotions that she was about to go through. Since Harm's disappearance, Mac and Trish kept in contact very frequently, both needing someone who was close to him. She'd traveled four times to La Jolla, once for a small service the Burnett's had. And the other three times just so that she'd have someone to talk to. What unnerved Mac was how willing Trish was to put Harm to rest. Frank, on the other hand, he still believed. During a late night discussion, when Trish had headed off early to bed, he'd confessed to Mac of a certain 'feeling' he had that Harm was still alive. That he would come home.

Frank arrived at the door first. Opening it, he noticed Mac and his brow furled in confusion. "Mac? Trish didn't tell me you were coming is. . .is something. . .wrong?" The man literally did a double take as his eyes fell upon his stepson who was standing to the side with a silly expression. "Oh my God. . .Trish. . .Trish get out here, quick." He threw himself at Harm, hugging him with a force that made it clear that Frank thought of him as his own. "Jesus, you are alive. . .You're alive." He stepped back slightly, took a look at Harm then hugged him again. "We've missed you so much, son. . ."

"Frank, what is it? Mac! How are you . .Is something wrong?" Trish glanced at Mac, happy that she'd made the trek out, though confused as to why she were here without calling. "Oh God. . .Har-harm?" She caught the sight of her husband and son, the image seeming too surreal for a mother who, only months prior, buried her son. "No, this can't be. . .This is a dream. . .or a nightmare."

Harm stepped up to his mother and wrapped his arms around her. "Mom, it's me. . .I'm alive."

Trish shook from the happy sobs that escaped her. Her arms tightened around her son, holding him as if her life depended on it, and it did. To say that the past months were difficult on Trish was an understatement. She suffered again, the same way she suffered when Harm Sr. went down, but this was different and far worse. A mother was not supposed to be burying her baby. No matter how much she resigned to the fact that Harm's job was potentially dangerous, it had all been too much to handle. The only thing that made it all bearable was the consolation that father and son would reunite in Heaven. "But, how? Everyone thought you were dead. . ." She trailed off a moment and glanced at Mac. "Everyone but Mac. . . I'm sorry for not believing you."

Mac shook her head. "I had my doubts as well from time to time, Trish."

Trish took both of her sons hand, pulling him into the house while Frank helped Mac with the suitcases. She enveloped Harm in another tight hug. "You need to tell us everything." She walked him through the entryway and towards the living room, her hand not leaving his arm for fear that he might disappear and this was just another cruel nightmare. She sat Harm down on one sofa and slid next to him, her hand wrapping around his as she studied him. "You look defeated, Harmon."

"It was. . .difficult." He said with a nod. Difficult would have probably been easier for him to bare. The whole thing with Temir could be summated with one word: Hell. He was living in pure Hell. Frank joined the two, sitting down across from mother and son. Mac stayed off to one side, leaving the family a bit of privacy over a story that she already knew. "There isn't a lot of detail I can get into." Creswell knew, Bud and Sturgis knew, but that was because of their involvement. Still, there were details which the only person privy to had been Mac and he prayed that those would not come back to haunt him. "Most of it is classified."

Mac sighed, if there was a word she loathed, it was definitely, 'classified.' She hated everything that came attached to that word. She hated the world of secrecy and betrayal. Now she hoped that they never had to use it again; that they would never be used again.

"CIA classified, FBI classified, or something else?" Frank rambled off as he glanced at his wife who seemed to be having a difficult time digesting all of this information.

"The first." Harm pointed out and shook his head. "I can't get into it, I really can't. . .but suffice to say that Mac had a lot to do with keeping me alive." He glanced at his partner, his lover, friend and soul mate, their eyes locked in that silent conversation that they seemed to always have. "She kept me safe."

Trish stood, making her way around the sofas and over to Mac who she hugged tightly. "Thank you, Sarah. . . Thank you for bringing him home."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." For the first time ever, Mac truly felt at home and at peace. She loved Harm's family almost as much as she loved Harm. The Burnett's were wonderful people, caring, loving, the elusive family she'd longed for all her life. A family she hoped to eventually be part of.

The group discussed some aspects of what Harm had missed, like the introduction of the Washington National's baseball team. "Wow, and they're actually doing well?"

Frank, who'd kept up on sports, nodded enthusiastically. "Yep, they're in second place in their division."

"Oh and I bought another gallery." Trish added proudly. "It's about a ten minute drive from the other one, much bigger too. It will accommodate the larger exhibits."

They continued on with somewhat mundane conversation, but this time, it wasn't so usual. For Harm it was like if he'd missed a huge chunk of his life. Mac had also talked about the Roberts' twins and how little AJ and Jimmy seemed to grow like weeds. How he'd be so surprised at how big the twins already were. Mac was their godmother, leaving Mike to be their godfather since Harm was not present. He hated that he'd missed so much, but he couldn't go back in time, as much as he wished it, he wasn't Superman. The conversation came to a quick end when Mac's stomach began to rumble.

One of the few things that Harm always seemed to mention to Trish was Mac's insatiable appetite and how it fascinated him. He'd told his mother that he continually teased Mac about her eating habits and she, in turn, would tease him about his. It was no surprise when, ten minutes later, she was standing over the grill with a big bottle of steak sauce.

Harm and Frank walked outside each carrying some of the condiments that the women had asked for. The decision had been made to grill dinner rather than head off to some impersonal restaurant. "Aren't we supposed to do that?" Harm said, pointing between himself, Frank, and the grill. "Because, grilling is a manly right of passage."

"Uh huh. You gonna grill up my big, fat, juicy steak, veggieboy?" Mac made a point of biting back a chuckle at the perturbed look on his face.

With a dramatic sigh, Harm leaned up against the railing and stared out towards the ocean. "Am I ever going to get you to eat healthier?"

"Nope, and by the way, didn't you tell me, not too long ago, that after everything that happened you'd eat a Beltway Burger?" She doused the steaks then flipped them over to get the other side.

The thought of Beltway Burgers might have watered his mouth when he was forced to eat that disgusting gruel. But, out in the real world, he wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole. "Yes, but that was a momentary lapse of reasoning." Harm stood behind her, trying to steal the sauce away from her, his body brushing against hers intimately.

But, Mac wasn't going to let him sway her. Instead, she turned and pointed the fork at him. "I'm trying to cook here, so get flyboy." She chuckled when Harm raised his hands up in surrender. "Besides what would your folks think?" She threw saucily with a wink.

"Mmm. . .That I am a needy heterosexual male with a very good looking girlfriend?" He offered with in a very low voice then placed a kiss on her lips before running inside.

Trish and Frank and been standing by, watching the sight with an adoration that they wouldn't have thought possible. As a mother of an only child, she was never one to like any of Harm's girlfriends much, except for Mac. Even after the younger woman had mentioned her tainted past, Trish had wished that the Marine and her son would have been together and much more than just partners. "Honey, why don't you and Harm find something to do, I'll help Mac with dinner." With a sweet kiss, she sent her husband away and then handed Mac a few patties of veggie burgers, laughing when Mac cringed. "I love my boys, I do. . .but I really wish Frank hadn't gotten Harm into this health food craze."

"Oh, have you tried Harm's meatless meatloaf?" Mac said with a giggle, she'll never forget that as long as she lived. It was jus too much fun to tease Harm about.

The older woman cringed. "He didn't cook that for you did he?"

Mac nodded. "No offense, you raised a great guy, but. . .Ugh, it was terrible."

"Remind me to kill Frank." Trish answered and both women started laughing. "I knew there was a reason you and I got along so well."

Harm was leaning against a window, staring out at his girlfriend and mother with a funny expression. "How long do you think it'll be before she starts taking out the embarrassing baby pictures?"

"Oh, she already has." Frank smirked while he cracked open two beers. He handed one to Harm then patted him on the back. "Thought you could use one."

"Thanks Frank."

"So, you still sticking to the healthier eating?"

Taking a swig of beer, he glanced out at the two women and smiled. He liked that scene, a lot. Most of the other girls his mom loathed, she even had a bit of problems with Diane. "Occasionally. . .I still have an affinity for hot dogs, pepperoni pizza, I do eat chicken. But, steaks and all of that. . .Nooo." Mac met his gaze and wiggled her fingers at him before blowing a kiss. He 'caught' it in mid air then blew one back. It was all cheesy, completely and totally cheesy, but he didn't care. "They're getting along very well."

Beer in hand, Frank slid onto the sofa and took a deep breath. "Yes. In a way Sarah's been a godsend for your mother. And I think your mother has been one for her. . ." He was thankful Mac had been in their lives. Realistically, he knew Trish could survive, dealing with the loss of Harm Sr, had made her stronger, harder. He knew his wife always tried to slightly detach herself from Harm and his chosen profession. True, he was just a lawyer, one that barely flew. But just the thoughts of him flying even for a moment unnerved her. "I never stopped believing you were gone Harm. . .I think I finally realized what you went through in regards to your father." Actually, it was much worse, because as a five year old you only remember certain things, the rest of the pain was manufactured. For Frank though, Harm was his son, it didn't matter what blood ran through his veins. And for a parent, there was nothing worse than losing a child.

Harm sighed and took a long gulp of his beer feeling every bit the annoying teenage child. There were times he was kind with Frank, others that he could have killed the man for winning his mother's affections. "I could have made it easier for you though. . .I know I've told you this before, but. . .thank you for sticking it out. I know life with me was hell."

"Hell would have been easier than dealing with you. . .but it wasn't all bad."

"Yea, we did have some father, son moments." Harm thought back to their camping trips, skiing trips and even his attempts to each Frank how to surf. "I do think of you as a father. . .it's just that, when you came into our lives. . ."

"You felt your mother was betraying your father. . ." He supplied with a grimace. "I'll never forget the word you used. . . 'adulteress'. . .I was tempted to tie you up in your room the day of the wedding." Frank had been a trooper through it all, sticking it out despite the young boy who was vehement to allow his mother to move on. It was surprising that Harm behaved during the wedding and knew it had to do because Sarah Rabb was keeping an eye on her grandson. "But you behaved."

"She begged me to. . .as much as I was angry with her, Grams told me that, out of all people, she should be the angriest one, seeing as dad was her son. . .She said that if she were able to give you two her blessings, I should too."

"It got easier from there. . .Didn't it?" Well, it semi got better, Harm was used any opportunity he could to stir up trouble. "Then again there was that time you got mad at your mother and decided to run away."

"Oh God." Harm laughed, bringing his hand up to cover his face. "How far did you let me get?"

"Four blocks, wasn't it?" Frank added, laughing himself at something that, back then, had been nothing to laugh about. He'd seen Harm sneaking out of the house at 3am and let him, but followed closely behind in his car. Harm had gotten nearly four blocks away from the house, before he found a place to hide in the bushes. Frank had parked his car, and walked over to find a thirteen year old Harm, crying. "I remember you telling me that you stopped when you realized you couldn't just hitchhike to grams house."

Harm nodded, he should have known better back then, but an argument with his mother about his real father just made him snap. "Am I the reason why you never tried to have a baby?"

Frank frowned, always knowing that question would one day come up. He'd been prepared to answer it, but it was still a painful subject. "We tried. . .it just wasn't in the cards." It was around the time when Harm turned fourteen and it wasn't planned, but it was welcomed. Trish knew her son would be protective of the baby and it would probably bring the family closer. But, just as Frank said, it wasn't in the cards. "Trish miscarried. . ."

"Was it me?" The words come out of Harm's mouth even before he had a chance to sensor them.

"No." But the look of remorse in Harm's eyes told Frank that his son didn't believe him. "Believe me it wasn't. . . I wouldn't lie to you, son."

Nevertheless, things suddenly made sense, how his mother became that much more overprotective of him and all he could do was act like a jerk. "Was that why she got even more attached to me?"

"Yes. . .Look, don't let her know that I told you. . ." Frank stood, and moved to the other sofa and Harm joined him on the other side. "So, how serious are you with Mac?"

Harm raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Are we that obvious?"

"Apart from the way you intimately walked up behind her, then kissed her on the lips." Frank began with an amused chuckle. "Nah, not at all."

Harm chuckled. "I don't know how serious we are, but I know how serious _I _want to be." If he had it his way, they would go back in time, before he had that stupid idea to rejoin a squadron. Their relationship had grown so much in such a short period of time. But, he was too selfish to see how he'd hurt her when he left. Until he came back and things just seemed to be moving on without him, as if he'd never existed. But the worst came months later when, because of a stupid mistake of his, he lost her altogether. With a sigh, Harm looked away from his stepfather and glanced out the window to the woman that held all hopes for him having a normal life. If he had it his way, they'd be married by now with a couple of cute kids, maybe even a dog. "I've tried not to think about it so much." He said slightly dejected and finished off the rest of the beer.

"Tried not to think about it so?" Frank loved his stepson but, sometimes, the man could be so obtuse with women. He'd seen it happen again and again. The string of girlfriends who were only good for one thing and then the ones he actually cared about but dared not to get too close to. Then, there was Mac, a woman Frank knew had jumbled all of the control Harm had. At first, he considered it to be a good, old fashioned dose of infatuation, but when his stepson would get this certain look in his eyes, Frank knew it was love. "Why not? It's not like the two of you don't know each other. Christ, son, she followed you to a war zone, she helped you discover the truth about your father. How much more convincing do you need?"

Harm shuffled slightly, this wasn't exactly a conversation that was high on his list. "I want to be with her, forever if possible. . . But before we complicate things, I want to keep it simple . . spend time with her, with no pressure. .. Plus, marriage means one of us, maybe even both of us changing billets. . .We're just starting to move in the same direction, I don't want to throw anything in and jumble it up, you know?"

Frank understood all of that, it was the same fears he had when asking Trish to marry him. "You know I got the same 'cold feet' when I married Trish. We did good together, I was afraid that a ring would just mess things up. . .but we worked out." He said with a grin, then stood and walked over to Harm. "Don't wait too long, son, or else I think your mother will ask Sarah for you." With a chuckle he patted Harm on the back and headed out to the patio with the women...

... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
So what do we think? Good, Bad? Sucks horribly? ;)

It's an estimated 16 chappies. That is subject to change I have about 5 written out completely, the rest are outlined meaning, I know what will happened, I just need to write it out. Depending on the lenght some chapters will get cut or put together. ;)

Enjoy gang!


	2. Promises

Wow! Didn't expect to many people to review this story.  Thanks to everyone! Me be soooo sweet and nice, decided to update very early. I am sure you guys just HATE early updates so I won't make that a habit :snickers: ;)

Enjoy! - Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707 and anyone else I missed for the feedback:)

Part 2 – Promises

2315 Local  
La Jolla, California

The night was exquisite for just laying on the beach and watching the stars above. "Done this before, sailor?" Mac teased laying on a blanket that they'd brought from the house.

"Yes, but never with such intriguing company." Harm responded, turning to his side so he could look at her. "And we're at my personal spot."

Mac held her upper body up with her elbows and stared into the dark ocean. In the distance, there were a few dots of lights, some of buoys, other of boats passing through the channels. There was also lightening on the horizon, a storm off shore. "Personal spot?"

"Yea, when I was younger, I would come out here to think." The dunes and vegetation had shaded him from Trish and Frank's prying eyes. Not that Harm would do anything bad, per se, but there was something nice about having a place to just get away. Reaching out, he wrapped his hand around Mac's arm and tugged her close to him. "C'mere, Mac."

She slid up next to him and laughed at the mischievous look in his eyes. "I can guess what's on your mind, flyboy."

Harm chuckled. "I bet we have two very different things on our minds."

"Oh yea?" She raised her trademark eyebrow in challenge and was surprised when a silver chain caught her eye.

"Oh yea." Dog tags were dangling from a chain on his fingers. He would have given them back to her sooner, but was waiting for the right time. "See, I found these somewhere and ironically, your name happens to be on them."

Slowly she reached out and palmed the tags searching for the ring. Sure enough, next to her two dog tags, sparkling in the moonlight, it rested. "I thought I'd lost this forever."

Harm unclasped the chain slid the ring out, then rested the tags between himself and Mac. "You said you wanted _me_ to put the band on your finger. I am hoping that's still an option."

Her eyes remained on his fingers and the band that appeared to be shining brighter than ever. Mac's voice caught in her throat, this whole moment was so full of emotion that she didn't have anything to say. She nodded, her eyes locking on his which were dancing in amusement. "Yes. ." She squeaked out.

His hand wrapped around hers as the cool metal slid up her ring finger. "In my family it was used as a promise ring. A symbol of good things to come."

"A good luck charm." She said softly, smiling when Harm kissed her finger where the ring now was. "I love you, Harmon Rabb Junior."

He kissed her gently, then rolled slightly until he was laying over her. Mac deepened the kiss. His hands were already wandering and as Harm tried to move closer she placed a hand on his chest and backed him up just a bit. "Just what are you trying to do?" She took a playful, reprimanding tone.

Clearing his throat, Harm rolled onto his back, brining her to lay over him and placing a hand on her hip. "Well, just showing you some of the finer points of La Jolla. . ." He glanced around and grinned. Though the beach was empty, it was still a public place. "I say we head back and. . ."

"Oh no." Mac said with a giggle. "I am not going to sleep with you with your parents just down the hall, Harm."

"We're not kids, Mac. . .I should hope my mother knows I am not a virgin." Harm pulled her to him again, but she evaded his advances and slid off of him. "Besides, isn't making love what people _in love_ are supposed to do?"

Okay, so he got her on that one. "Yes. . ." It had been too long since their first time. "But, if your folks give me an odd look in the morning, I am holding you solely responsible."

Harm stood and reached out a hand to her. He then bent over, picked up the blanket and started back to the house.. "Oh, I don't think mom will mind one bit. In fact, she already told me that she knew we were. . . uh. . _intimate._"

It was a conversation they'd had when Mac excused herself and headed off to the restroom during dinner. Apparently Frank and Trish were on the same wavelength when it came to their son. . . .

Trish waited for Mac to disappear up the stairs, then turned to Harm. "So, how serious are you two, Harmon?"

Immediately Harm started choking on the corn he was trying to swallow. Frank stood, and whacked him on the back until Harm was able to control himself. He swallowed some water and stared up at his mother who was glancing at him in amusement. "Is there anyone who is NOT going to ask me that?"

"Fraid not, it's just too interesting. . ." Trish took a bite of steak and chewed it thoughtfully. He still hadn't answered her, so soon after swallowing and having a sip of wine she glanced at Harm again. "So?"

Sighing, Harm glanced up towards the stairs and then back to Trish. "I don't know. . ."

"You don't know?" She was somewhat expecting something different from her son. A declaration of love, something that could ensure his happiness. But, this. . .unsureness bothered her greatly. "Harm, if you are trying to pull the wool over my eyes, it's not working." With a grin, she took another sip of wine then said simply, "I already know you and Sarah have been. . ._intimate_."

Harm suddenly felt like he was a teenager again, getting reprimanded. "What? How'd you?"

"Oh, c'mon, dear." She interrupted. "There's a look you two share that could light things on fire. . .it's obvious." Calmly, she stood, walked around the table and stood behind her son. "So? How serious is it?"

Part of him felt this was some sort of joke the universe was playing on him. Why did people need to know how serious he was with Mac? That was something they needed to find out on their own, right? "I don't know. . ." Mac and him never talked about the seriousness of their new relationship. He knew she wanted to be with him and he knew he wanted to be with her, but there were no future plans, past getting things back to normal. "I know what I want but I also know I don't want to rush her. . .Besides, we need to go home, settle back into the day to day. . ." But, there was something else, a fear he didn't really want to think about too much. Sure, they've gone through the ups and downs. . .Well, more downs than ups. Both he and Mac were known for backing off from things, what if the pressure of it all crushed them? "I don't know how strong this is. . ."

Trish tightened her jaw as her hand lightly slapped him on the shoulder. "How can you say that? God, Harm I knew you loved her before you did."

"I love her and I know she loves me, but . . .We just lived through a harrowing experience. . .I don't want to. . .I don't want to believe that normal life with destroy what we created, but it just might. . .and I am scared to death to lose her because of it."

"She's not going to leave you, Harm. . ." Trish said with a conviction she felt deep inside. She turned his head, making him look at her and saw this disbelief in his eyes. "Harmon, I've seen you go through one girl, to another and Mac's the only one I've actually liked."

Harm raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You never liked _any_ of my girlfriends?"

"No"

Now he was amused. "So, what's so special about Mac?" Not that he had to ask, there were plenty of things special about _his_ Marine. But, he was curious as to what his mother had to say.

"What's so special? Harmon, would you get your head out of your. . .well, six, as you call it? . . .The woman actually puts up with your crazy ideas, she followed you through war zones. . .She believed you'd come back to her. Do you know how difficult it was for ME to believe? And I am your mother."

Harm smiled, it was quite unbelievable the lengths they went through for each other. "I know she's special, mom. . .She's always been special to me." . . . .

. . . Harm lay in bed waiting for Mac who said she had a 'surprise' for him. It was rather odd being in his bedroom after so many years. Even odder that, this time, he was going to be sharing his oversized bed with one very attractive woman. "I have an idea." He said, getting up quickly. He leaned up against the door, noticing the shower was still on. Good, that gave him some time to set the atmosphere.

He practically ran down the stairs, across the living room and towards the kitchen. Rummaging through the fridge, he pulled out apple juice. In the cabinets he found two champagne flutes. Passing back through the living room, he carefully took a couple of candles from the coffee table and slowly made his way back up the stairs, careful not to drop anything. He set the candles on either side of the bed, on each nightstand then whipped out a lighter from the drawers to light them. A pleasant smell of sandalwood soon enveloped his room. Harm then made his way to his radio, flipping through stations until he found one that played slow, jazz numbers. Satisfied, he climbed back in bed and poured the apple juice into each flute.

When Mac emerged from the bathroom, she was surprised at all the 'trouble' he went through. "Hmm, and here I thought I couldn't ever make a romantic out of you." She grinned as his eyes scanned her body clad only in a rather see-thru nightgown. He gulped a few times, sure this wasn't the first time he'd seen a woman dressed like _that_. It sure wasn't the first time he'd seen her naked, but, this was Mac. The woman that he just couldn't seem to grab a hold of. And now. . .this was just too good to be true.

Harm slid off the bed and walked slowly over to Mac handing her the apple juice. "You know, a guy can get used to you coming out of his bathroom looking like this."

Raising an eyebrow she teased. "Looking like what?" She ran a hand down the fabric of the gown and fingered the material. "Oh this old thing. . .I just found it." With a wink, she walked away from him and towards the sliding glass doors that led to Harm's private balcony.

"I really hope you have a few more of those 'old things', Mac." He drank down all of the juice, placed the flute on the nightstand and walked over to Mac. He stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pinning her back to his chest. She leaned her head back, allowing for him to kiss her neck. "I thought you were embarrassed about doing this under my parent's roof."

"I got over it." She said with a wispy breath, then turned fully in his arms. "Promise me things won't change when he head back home." Mac didn't like feeling this desperate or needy, but she was desperate and needy. She also wanted him so much that she knew that a part of her would die if they separated.

But, Harm couldn't promise what he was so unsure about himself. "I can't promise that, Mac. . .but I'll promise to try. . .We've come to far to just throw this away."

"This is real, right?" She asked, her voice hitching slightly as his hands traveled up and down her spine. "We're real?"

"This is real." He knew it was, because he felt it so deep inside. Harm had never felt so strongly for a woman before, not even Diane. Mac was his everything and after giving into her back at the cabin, he was unsure he'd ever be able to do anything else but give in. Having the reassurance that she needed, Mac stepped forward, backing Harm into the bed where he fell, bringing her atop him. "Sneaky, MacKenzie."

"Yea, well, if I remember correctly, it's my turn to be on top." She kissed his neck slowly, stopping to caress her tongue over his Adam's apple as she moved down his chest.

0250 Local  
Outside of the Burnette Residence  
La Jolla, California

Cigarette smoke rose up into the air in tiny puffy clouds that reflected the light from the houses. It was fairly dark among the beach as the moon had been covered up from the impending thunderstorm. There, wrapped up in blankets, a man and a woman lay together enjoying the afterglow of passion. Reaching over to a small radio, the woman, flipped the switch to 'off.' Which earned her an angry look from her lover. "Well, they've been done for almost twenty minutes. . . I don't think they could just start up again, do you?"

Taking the radio from the woman, he turned it back to 'on' and raised the volume a bit. "You never know. . ."

She thought it was a bit weird, listening to another couple's intimate encounter, but she had to admit, it seemed to spice up their sex life. "You said there was a point to all of this. But I don't see how listening in on a couple could help extract revenge on the things they did to you." She frowned, the story he'd told her had been shocking and terrible. She couldn't understand how people would just put a person in prison without finding out all of the if ands or buts about the case. The amount of lies that were fabricated to keep him locked up were astonishing. Yet, she never once thought about her lover and how many lies he fabricated to get him locked up. No, in this case, love was truly blind, deaf and mute.

It had been fairly easy to put a bug inside the house. When Harm and Mac had headed up the beach and the older couple to sleep, he'd been able to put several self destroying bugs. They were good enough to last 24 hours and then, they'd eventually consume themselves, leaving no traces. man reached across to their pile of clothing and tossed her the outfit she'd been wearing. "Get dressed and keep your mouth shut."

"I hate it when you talk to me like that."

With a sigh, he reached over and touched her cheek gently. "I'm sorry, baby, but I am just very frustrated. . .You know I don't mean it." She knew that, of course she did. Because she was too smitten to really care much for anything. He'd been the first man to ever really want her this way, with all of her problems and lack of self-confidence that she kept hidden away from clients. No, he wasn't her first, she'd been with others, but this was the first time she'd ever felt like she finally had someone to talk to, not the other way around. They remained lying near the sand dune, listening to absolutely nothing for about half an hour more. Then, when he was convinced that it was all over, the sight of someone leaning against the balcony brought back his attention.

It had taken him a minute or two, but Harm finally managed to slide himself out from under Mac. He slid his boxers on and quietly stepped out past the sliding doors. He could no longer see the moon and knew a storm was impending. Only, he didn't know just how much of a storm and what type of an impact it would have on them. He glanced down and swore he saw two people laying by one of the dunes. This was supposed to be a private beach area, which was the reason why many teens found their way over, searching for the privacy that they wouldn't receive on public beaches. No matter, he doubted they knew he was out there anyway. Looking out into the ocean, he saw the bits of lightening coming closer and illuminating the skies. The air was rich with the smell of atmosphere.

He felt more than heard Mac step up behind him. "You okay?" She asked, pressing her warm body, wrapped up in bed sheets, against his. Her arms wrapped around his torso as her lips kissed the center of his back. He felt her head rest against him.

"Nightmare." He said quietly, still scanning the ocean. There was something off, something odd and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. With a shrug he turned around and took Mac into his arms. "It's nothing." But it wasn't 'nothing' the nightmares were the ones he was fearing, the ones that ended up with things going badly. Temir was there as was Frank Coster, Sadik Fahd, Chris Ragle and Simon Tanveer. He was being held back by two goons, unable to do anything while the five men described a way they would torture Mac. 'No!' He cried out as hot, burning tears slid down his cheek. 'Take me! Take me!' He yelled, but they didn't listen. Then another man walked out, this one with a face that looked like his own. Harm stood there looking at himself, but it wasn't him. The vision of him was a monster who walked towards Mac with a dagger in hand. 'I'm going to do to her, what they couldn't do.' He said with a grin and, mercifully, that was when he woke up.

"Harm?" Mac ran her hand over his cheek, stopping to wipe away a stray tear. She didn't like this at all, it was almost as if he were in a trance. Maybe everything had finally culminated? Maybe now that he was safe and sound he was being attacked by other demons, ones that were projected from his own mind. She knew the way the game was played and as much as she hated to admit it, he needed help. Maybe they both did. He breathed deeply, then leaned back against the railing seemingly ashamed of breaking down in front of her. "Maybe. . .Maybe you should see a therapist?"

"A therapist?" He shook his head. "What the hell good is that going to do for the nightmares?"

She would have asked the same had she not had the pleasure of dealing with Dr. McCool. As much as she hated having her head shrunk, she had to admit, it did to her some good. "I hate to admit it, but sometimes, talking to someone who is neutral in the situation can help. . . Dr. McCool is pretty good." She bit her lower lip. Would it be a problem that McCool knew about him? Wouldn't that breech some sort of doctor-patient confidence of she already knew something about Harm. "Maybe going to Dr. McCool is a bad idea, she knows too much about you. But, I am sure she can recommend someone."

Harm glanced down at Mac unsure if whether to feel flattered or betrayed that she was speaking to someone about him. "You told her about me?"

"No! Yes. . .I mean. . .Well, yes in relation to me. . .I. . .When you went missing, I needed someone impartial to talk to. . .It' helped a bit. Well, it sort of helped, half of the time I was just hurt or angry." She sighed and stepped back away from him. "Look I wouldn't suggest it if I thought it wouldn't help."

Thing is, he'd had his head shrunk various times in his life. When his father went MIA, Navy psychiatrists had spoken to him, when he was in school, the high school guidance counselor had tried to 'fix' him. After he came back from Laos, his mother had all but ordered him to see a shrink. His ramp strike, return to flight status, the CIA missions, his ejection over the Atlantic. And non of those sessions helped. "Or maybe I could talk to you?" But, that was a lie because he knew he couldn't tell her what he saw behind his eyes. He couldn't tell her that, this time, he wouldn't be able to save her.

"You can always talk to me, Harm. About anything. . .But I think you need to get help. Please." Something told her she couldn't help him this time, that he was beyond that as she'd been beyond just normal conversation during her stint with Sadik.

"I promise." Smiling, he brought her back to him and wrapped his arms around her. "How about we get some sleep? I am sure mom's just going to drag you off tomorrow."

Mac kissed him gently, then with more fervor as he came back for another. "But, I'm not sleepy." She said in a sexy voice and led him back towards the bed.

Down bellow the couple had heard it all. "Ah, so the Commander needs to have his head shrunk."

"You could use that, couldn't you? Damage his career?" The woman asked. Hopefully things wouldn't have to move farther along. They wouldn't have to be too drastic.

The man shrugged, stood up and offered his hand down to her. "Yes, but, now I have a better idea. . .The best weapon for revenge." He wrapped his arms around the woman, glancing up a final time as he headed out of the beach.

Joanoa - It'll be here if not, e-mail me! I'll probably have about two more after this one to post for sure. :) Not sequels, stand alones though :)

smithknk - Yea, I thought it was a refreshing way to start. A little fluff, family moment. Cos you know I'll go nuts eventually. ;)

Jnp - It would bea trilogy, noooo ideas for a fourth. Course that could change. I keep saying I won't write a series anymore and suddenly poof! It happens. This is my third series. Shoot me now please ;) - But there are more stories coming. As long as I have people to write for, I won't stop!

dansingwolf - Well you know me, comfortable won't last long LOL!

Dessler - Something For the Pain Universe, huh? Hmmm... The series needs a name. ;) That might be a good one. ;)

Beccy - Wow, that was scary LOL! At least you spelled it right. My friend and I were drunk and trying to cheerlead at our friend's softball game, boy did we screw up. WE couldn't spell HomeRun. Sad but true LOL! ;)

Ltjgmeg - Now why would I tell you who the bad guy is! I am not that nice! SHeesh! and No Meg. I am not too familiar with her character to write with her. I'll leave the Megness to you ;)

CBW - WEll, you know, jsut have the seatbelt handy. ;) i am not sure anyone will figure out what's supposed to happen until it does. WEll, no I take that back, some of you guys are waaaay too savvy for your own good:P

jtbwriter - Yea, I was like.. Hmmm, let's blame Frank for Harm being a practical vegitarian! ;)

Abigaile - Isn't is sad how like Harm doesn't have parents on the show. we haven't seen Trish since season what? 7? 6 maybe:shakes finger at TPTB: Jerks!

XBlue - Could you get the crowd to do the wave? I mean, since baseball season is starting and all, I think it might be fun. :) ;) - Jeez if the chapters exceed 30, shoot me. Course I could write two page chappies and this story will come about 50 chapies or so LOL!

jaggurl - Yes I was bored, decided to post. ;) Ths will fit the series, but it'll be weird. Cos I am like weird ;P

Alix - Yea, blame frank, why not? Oh I could go through my list of weirdness with food. occasionally mom is like - "You pregnant" HELL NO.

Okie dokie.. . .So that's that. If I can work a bit more on it (need to iron the kinks out and lord knows I can kink up stories - GET YOUR HEADS OUT OF THE GUTTER!) And we might have another one on monday. :) My hopes is to post this FAST because I have another story in the workds that I am DYING to post when the season ender happens. Whether this one is finished or not it is going to post though. See, apparently there is a good thing to not sleeping - you get bored and write more. WEee! ;)


	3. This Feels Different

Tried to post this sucker yesterday but Ffnet was not cooperating. Baaaaaaaaad Ffnet. Baaaaaaaad!

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707 and anyone else I missed for the feedback:)

Jackie

Part 3 – This Feels Different

August 14, 2005  
1700 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

It was odd standing outside of a building that he hadn't returned to in such a long time. He did come back once, but only to plan their mission. This, however, was much, much difference. As he stood outside the building, swearing his summer whites a feeling of nostalgia came over him. It had been more than half a year since he'd last walked into JAG ops in uniform. It seemed longer than that, as if he had been away for years. With a deep breath, he moved towards the double doors, stopping to hold them open for a female Naval Commander. Then, he headed towards the security desk. The Marine, Gunnery Sergeant Luke Zila smiled brightly. It was odd of the man, Harm never knew him to have much of a sense of humor or pleasantry past military protocol. Well, cept for Mac, but a) she is also a Marine and b) she's an attractive one at that. "Welcome back, sir."

"Thanks Gunny." Harm smiled at the man and handed over his briefcase, waiting as he went through the usual, manual checking of the case.

Zila went through the case, meticulously checking each of the pockets. "Sir, we sure did miss you around here. You are one of the few officers that really seem to care about us enlisted. . .We appreciate everything you've done."

"I didn't do anything special, Gunny." The agencies involved in Levine's demise had agreed that it would be better for their public interests and Harm's resurrection if they went public with what had happened. Well, as public as possible. There was no mention of the Aurora's, but there was a mention of a Naval Commander who was captured, presumed dead and, in the end, wound up bringing down his captor and preventing an attack on US interests. He was a hero.

With a smile, the Gunny handed over the briefcase. "Don't under estimate yourself, Commander. . . Have a good day, sir."

"Thanks, Gunny." Harm headed down the pathway, stopping just short of the elevator. With a huff he stared over at the door heading to the stairwell, then stared back at the elevator door. Though sitting around for a week had made him stir crazy, he wasn't ready for this. How could he be? After more than half of year in an odd existence, how could he just put everything behind and start all over again? Deciding on the stairwell, he opened the door and ascended slowly, each step brining up a memory that was still raw in his mind.

How could he go back to work, defending and prosecuting when he'd seen a much darker side to it all. What if, for some insane reason, he'd given into Temir and Levine, becoming the monster they'd hoped he'd become. The money offered was tempting, he had to admit, but the rational side of his mind, the one that people claimed was 'brainwashed' by the Navy, kept him from giving in. And what about him and Mac? Could they survive together now that they were back home. Back to being partners, back to the fights, back to the courtroom battles. He longed for that aspect of his life because it made him feel so alive. What if that was taken away too? What if all the 'action' had forever awoken something inside of him and taken away his love for the law.

With a final huff, he opened up the door and walked onto the JAG floor. "Here goes nothing." He headed towards the double glass doors. Whatever Harm expected to return back to, this wasn't it. In the bullpen, just under the monitors was a large, colorful banner that read: 'Welcome Back Commander Rabb!' He glanced around at his friends and co-workers who had stopped what they were doing to applaud his return. He walked to the center of the bullpen with a bright smile in place. "Wow. . .I wasn't expecting this. Thank you, all of you."

Harriet walked up and gave him a big hug. "Harm," She'd long since stopped calling him 'sir.' "We are so glad you are alright. . .The kids have missed you so much."

"I missed them too, Harriet. . . I'll swing by, I promise." He gave her a final squeeze and went over to Coates who was holding her emotions in check. "Petty Officer. . .You looked like you missed me." He said with a grin.

Coates nodded. "I have, sir. . .If we were in any other location, I'd have hugged you the moment you walked in through the doors. . ." She studied him for a moment, nothing an off look about him. "Are you alright, sir?"

Harm smiled. "I will be." He went through the rest of his friends, stopping for a quick chat with Sturgis and Bud as the others went back to their business. Creswell was in a meeting with the SECNAV, else he would have also welcomed him back. Glancing around, he spotted Mac leaning against her door frame with a wicked grin. "Excuse me, gentlemen." Purposefully, he headed across the bullpen and stepped into Mac's office. "Colonel, are you not happy to have me back?" He closed the door behind him and a second later, her lips were fused onto his. Breaking away, he chuckled. "I'll take that as a yes. . .Thank God the blinds were closed." He said sheepishly, and kissed her this time, softly then backed away. "This whole resisting you at work is going to be hell on my control, woman."

"Woman?" Mac said with a raised brow. She punched him slightly on the arm, then went around to her desk. "Hope you didn't pick up any bad habits while you sat bored at home. . .I mean, I know there are some funky things on TV." She added with a wink and offered him a seat. "So how's it feel?"

"Weird. . .I almost. . .almost didn't come up." He frowned slightly and shook his head. "I, well part of me isn't ready, I don't think. But, I am not sure either. . . Well _I am_ sure that I _can not_ take another day sitting at home."

"It's not like you've never left and come back before, Harm. Flying, the CIA, now this. . .You'll jump back."

He shrugged, sighing deeply. "I know, but this _feels_ different. . .Something happened to me out there."

"Well, I have faith in you. . .and if you ever need anything, I am here, always." Her smile and the softness of her voice made him feel assured, it was nice that someone had some sort of faith in him. At the moment, he didn't have any in himself. "Now, I don't mean to kick you out, but the General gave me a massive list of things to do."

Harm placed a hand over his heart and frowned. "Yep, I knew it, the moment you get a chance, you're back to being mean at me, kicking me out of your office. . ." He said with mock hurt.

In a low, sultry voice, Mac said. "I guess I'll just have to make it up to you later. . . in private."

"I'll hold you to that, Colonel. . ." He opened the door and half stepped out, before turning back with a charming smile. "If neither you nor I are buried under our work, would you like to join me for lunch?"

Mac nodded. "Sure, let's make it around one. . .I have an Article 32 at ten." She was about to open her mouth to say something else when Jen's voice came over the intercom. Creswell needed Harm and Mac in his office. "Well, guess that means he's back from visiting with Sheffield. . .I wonder what's up now."

Harm stood by the door frame and allowed Mac to step out first before following. "What do you mean by that?"

"There's something in the air, you know? I think it has to do with Levine and out involvement in it all.." She headed down the bullpen with Harm in tow, then into Creswell's office. They both stood at attention. "You wanted to see us, sir?"

Creswell nodded. "Coates, please close the hatch. . . You two, at ease and have a seat." He removed his glasses and leaned back into his chair. With an uncharacteristic grin he regarded his two officers. "Well, I must say, it's good to see the two of you in my office again."

"It's good to be back, sir." Harm semi-lied. He had to admit it was nice being 'home.' Now if he could only get his 'sea legs' under him, everything would be alright.

"So, Commander, how was your down time?"

Boring, horrible, torturous. "It was fine, sir. . .I needed the time off. ."

"I assume you told your parents about your resurrection?"

"Yes, sir. .It was a wonderful experience, just not one I'd like to repeat under those circumstances."

"I'll agree. . ." Creswell also went through some odd mixture of jubilation and surrealism when seeing Harm after hearing, for months on end, that he was dead. "I understand you've been seeing a psychologist at Bethesda?"

"Yes, sir. . .Both the Colonel and also the higher ups thought it would be a good idea considering how much time I was in captivity." Harm had only gone once and already he had a falling out with the shrink, Dr. McCool's colleague, Lt. Commander Martha Sexton. "I have an appointment today at three."

"Not a problem, just let me know ahead of time when you have the appointments, we'll work them around your schedule." Creswell had an odd feeling that all was not well with Rabb, there was something in the younger man's eyes, a fire that seemed to be extinguished. He figured the best way to remedy that was to throw him into some work with his partner. "Well, down to business. . . .You and the colonel have been cleared of any wrong doing. Resurrecting you was a bit of a. . .pain, but we managed. . . I know you'll want me to throw you to the sharks right off, but it's been a few months, and, at the moment, our case load is. . ."

"Pathetic." Mac supplied with a glance towards Harm. Glancing up at Creswell she saw the annoyed look he was shooting her and quickly she tried to cover. "My apologies, sir. No case is beneath us, it just seems to be that our fellow servicemen and women have been behaving themselves."

Creswell couldn't argue that point, the cases they'd been receiving as of late wouldn't even challenge a newbie. "Yes, well. . .I'm sure with the Commander back, we'll get some fun cases. . .but, in the meantime. . .Colonel, I would like the Commander to sit second chair in the Payton court-martial."

The former Harm would have argued, but considering his hesitancy in just walking into the office, he conceded. "I'd be happy to help the Colonel."

"Well, don't be too enthusiastic, Commander, it's just a petty larceny case. . .Dismissed." Harm and Mac came to attention and then made to walk out of the office when Creswell stopped them. "Oh, and Commander? . . . welcome back."

2015 Zulu  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland

"You're late Commander." Dr. Sexton said with a smile. The Lt. Commander had been suggested with high regards from Dr. McCool who would have seen Harm, but was concerned about the things she already knew. To her, it was unethical, so she made the suggestion to have her speak to her colleague. Dr. Sexton was an attractive woman in her mid-fifties with short black hair and a smile that genuine conveyed that she wanted to help people. "Have a seat."

Harm stood at the doorway, his cover in his hand glancing hesitantly into the office. "I ah. . .sorry, my pa-partner and I had court, it ran a bit late." He closed the door behind him and walked to the sofa that Sexton preferred her patients to sit on. It was not overly comfortable, and purposely so, because it wouldn't allow for her client to become overly comfortable either. "About the other day, I am sorry for the outburst, it isn't like me."

He'd been calm during the whole session, giving information that he could, considering most was classified. But, somewhere along the lines of him discussing the woman that had been the only constant in his life, something had snapped. It happened when Sexton asked him one, simple question. 'Why did you wait so long?' From there came a whole slue of emotions dating back to Diane, the night he kissed Mac at the docks, Australia, Paraguay. He didn't realize how much resentment he felt for Mac because of so many things. And that is what angered him the most, how he could hide that so deep within. "We touched upon some serious things, Commander. . .It's a bump in the road, only a bump." She stood up from behind her desk and sat on the chair across from the sofa. "But I remember you mentioning a nightmare, we never touched upon that." Apart from helping people, she believed in challenging head on, tackling the big problems and working through the smaller ones. Harm was no exception.

It was the same nightmare that brought him out of his bed back in La Jolla, the one with the bad guys and the one man that looked like himself. The one where they were about to attack Mac. "There are some men that have, in the past, tried to hurt my girlfriend. They were in the dream. . . .I was being held back and forced to watch while they attacked her. . . But, there was another guy who looked like me. . .He was sort of leading them on."

Sexton wrote down some notes then studied Harm for a moment. His head hung low in defeat, which was unlike the first day, when the tall Commander walked into her office full of charm and arrogance. Something had chipped in his armor that day, as they spoke and apparently, that chip was breaking him. "Well, let's analyze that for a moment. . .You said they tried to hurt your girlfriend in the past?"

Maybe he said too much? Some of those people were classified to talk about, weren't they? But, did it really matter? According to the doctor-patient confidentiality Dr. Sexton could tell a soul. With a shrug, he decided to keep it simple. "Some of it is classified. . .I. . .I think. . .But I'll tell you what I can and I won't use names."

"Fair enough. . .And take your time, Commander. . .This is a process it isn't a marathon." She was referring to the way his jumbled emotions had him unable to concentrate one more than one thing at time during their previous meeting. He was racing through things, making it difficult for her to hone in on something.

"Well, I guess the first one would be. . .her ex-husband. . . He was a creep, from what little I know about that time frame, he was just a bona fide asshole. . . Then there was a cop who was stalking her. . .Another man, probably the worst of all who she had to physically fight off." He knew he couldn't say the word 'terrorist,' so he tried to keep it as generic as possible. "Another was the man who tried to use her to go after her former boyfriend. . . Then there was me. . .only it wasn't me."

Sexton nodded. "Explain that last part."

"I was behind held back so that I couldn't reach her when. . . a version of myself walked out." That was the part that bugged him the most. Why did he appear with all of those that threatened to hurt her so badly? "I've hurt her in the past, emotionally. . .but, those men, they would have hurt her physically. . . I'd never do that. . . never." No, he wouldn't, ever do that. Which is why he'd been so apprehensive when they'd made love the first time. He feared the endometriosis would cause intercourse to be painful for her. "And he wasn't me. . .it was like. . .like a monster."

"Have you had this nightmare often?"

Harm nodded. "Within the last week, yes. . .it's been relentless."

Now came a question that just couldn't be asked gingerly. So she shot from the hip, bracing herself for either an admission of guilt or an aggressive denial. "I have to ask this and I do not mean to offend you. . .Have you ever had any desires to hurt your girlfriend physically?"

"No!" He yelled, hating that, on occasion the shrinks had to play both sides of the fence in order to get a reaction. "I'd never hurt her that way. . .I've been angry at her, but I'm not the violent type. . .My way of dealing with stress is much like hers, we go running."

Sexton jotted a few things down, an action that was starting to tick Harm off, but he breathed deeply and dealt with it. If Mac could take the shrink, he would to. "I am sorry, Commander, but I do have to ask certain things. . .sometimes those things will be unpleasant."

"I understand. . .I do. . .and I realize I need to speak to someone about things." And just didn't want to tell Mac about the nightmares for fear of scaring her or worrying her for no reason. At least, not until he understood it himself.

Sexton smiled. "We'll get there, Commander, I promise. . .Now here's some food for thought. . .Maybe you were with your girlfriends aggressors because, as you said, you had hurt her. . .emotionally. . .Perhaps your subconscious mind took it more serious than your conscious one. . . You know, sometimes emotional pain can hurt more than physical pain."

Now that was something he really didn't think about, that the reason why he was with them was because all of them, in their special way, had hurt her. "Sometimes emotional pain can kill. . ." He never understood that whole 'dying of heartache' thing, until this mission with Mac and the night she lay dead in his arms when he couldn't breathe life back into her. He'd have never left her, even if it meant dying beside her. "I wish I could promise that I wouldn't ever hurt her again."

"You can't. . . Things are bound to happen, couples fight. . .But my suggestion is to let the dream go. . .I believe that your are just giving a voice to your fears of hurting her again. . .In a relationship you run that risk. . . Now, let me show you a trick to help you come out of your dreams if they are a bit too hard for you to handle." With a sigh, Harm conceded.

2250 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North Of Union Station

'Harm, come to your old apartment, I need your Lexus to pick up a few of your things. Love you.' That was the message when he turned on his phone after stepping out of Bethesda. So he headed over, slightly confused as to why she didn't just take his SUV before he left work that afternoon. He was beat, physically and emotionally drained from the session with Sexton. The 'unpleasant' conversation had gotten progressively worse as she challenged his commitment to relationships, specifically his one with Mac. He wasn't sure where it was going, but there was one simple thing he got from it all, a realistic view that he was read to commit. It was a little scary to think he'd be so willing to give all of him to another, but, in reality, he'd already done that. She was the only had dug a hole under his walls and penetrated his inner workings. She's seen him at his best, his worst and everywhere in between. He loved her and he was ready, now all he needed was to shake the nightmares and this funk off and then he'd take the next logical step.

Walking into the building was surreal, much as it had been to walk into JAG ops and his parents house. Nothing felt real or concrete, it was like all of it was part of a past life that he was abruptly walking into. He tried the elevator surprised to see it still working and took the long trip up to the second floor. Stepping out, he saw his normal, metal, unpainted door was ajar and soft rock was playing. "What the?" He said, cautiously poking his head in to find his apartment much as when he had left it.

His leather furniture was in the place he considered his 'living room' as was his desk. The pots were hanging over the island, his black fridge was still there. "What the hell is going on?" Had he stepped into some twilight zone. This place, if he remembered correctly was being rented out. Slowly he headed right towards the bedroom finding his glass kitchen table still intact. As he headed up the two steps to his bedroom he found everything hanging in the closet – uniforms, covers, his bomber jacket, his clothing. And there laying in the center of his bed with just a comforter and a smile was one Sarah MacKenzie. "Surprise, sailor."

After the hellish appointment with Sexton, this was a definitely welcome way to arrive at home. "MacKenzie, what are you up to?"

Enthusiastically, she patted the mattress then curled a finger, beckoning him over. Once he sat next to her, she fused her mouth to his, kissing him deeply as she reveled in the freedom to touch and explore his body. With a satisfied sigh, she broken the kiss and looked into his eyes. "I was talking to your folks and we felt this was the best way to make you feel at home." She'd noticed, that despite his happiness at being alive and well and being with her, Harm still seemed a bit out of it. They'd never discussed what would happen to his apartment, but she and Frank felt that it couldn't just be sold. So Jen had helped her keep it up and in good shape. Actually, Jen did all the work, going to Harm's apartment proved to be one of Mac's many undoings when he was missing for so long. She saw Harm start to smile, the stop as a hesitation filled his eyes. "This doesn't change things between us, at all. . ." She kissed him gently and smiled. "In fact, I plan on spending many nights here with you."

Harm raised an eyebrow in question and sighed dramatically. "Only nights, huh? And what am I going to do during the days? Specifically the weekend when I am here, in the day, all alone."

Mac chuckled. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find a way to keep yourself entertained."

"You're mean, MacKenzie." He lay next to her in bed, propping his head up as he lay on his elbow. His other hand reached out and gently traced her facial features. "God you are beautiful."

It felt good, really good to be so at ease, to know that their promise to still be together was being fulfilled. He took her left hand, the one wearing the band and traced his fingers over it. 'Soon.' He thought. 'Soon, Mac, I'll make this all official.' He tugged her over, holding her close as he let her warmth heal the emotional wounds that were trying to break him. "You okay?" She asked tentatively sensing his immediate change from playful to serious.

"I am just thanking God that we're still alive and together." He glanced down at her and grinned. "Now, earlier today you said you would make up kicking me out of your office. . .the words you used were 'in private.' . . and correct me if I'm wrong, but this _is_ a pretty private place."

"Ah, yes and I wouldn't want to go back on a promise, would I?" With a grin of her own, she kissed him deeply then started giggling as his hands roamed under the comforter.  
. . . . . . . . . . .  
Britanny - He put it on her left hand, I am sorry thta I forgot to specify. :)

harmfan - Cant tell you who it is. But, suffice to say, the bad guy will do something that hasn't been done before. Or rather it has been done, but just not this way. Hehehe. :)

achaon - Hell no! Not Bugme!

alix33 - Well, some baddies were killed off, yes. . .but Harm and Mac have made a lot of enemies. ;)

Bite Beccy - This wasn't that cliffhangerish! Trust me, some of those will come up and then you'll hate me I know it. :sniffles: oh well :grins: ;)

XBlue - Uh, shut the crowd up now damnit! I have a headache! Sheesh! They cheer all day long, outside my bedroom window at 2am no less! Sheesh!

froggy - Well here is more, hope you have a chance to read it:)


	4. The Highs And Lows Of Flying pt 1

Okie, I like this part, though I took liberties with the plane at the end. I am not sure how probable it was but the throttle getting stuck I read about it somewhere. The pilot had to eject though. You'll see what I am going on about when you get to the last "scene"

I especially like the part with Harm talking with Bud. It was amusing to write. :)

Enjoy!  
Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, and anyone else I missed for the feedback:)

Part 4 – The Highs And Lows Of Flying pt 1

August 23, 2005  
1650 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm reached into his drawer and produced a handful of paper clips and two rubber bands. He strung the rubber band between his index finger and thumb, then reached for the paperclip. Aligning the clip right in the center, he then pulled back on the rubber band, then let go, sending the clip flying across the room landing atop one of his filing cabinets. "Direct hit!" He said triumphantly, then reached for another clip. Pulling back on the rubber band, he sent the clip flying, but this time managed to hit his window directly, earning him an odd look from Bud who just so happen to pass by at that moment.

"You alright, sir?" The Lt. Commander asked, appearing at his friend's doorjam. "You seem to be a bit. . ."

"Out of whack?" Harm supplied with a chuckle. Cupping the clips in his hand, he sent them back into this drawers but left the rubber bands on the desk. He threaded one through his fingers. "I just can't seem to get back to the rhythm of things. . .Take a load off." He motioned to the chairs in front of his desk and smiled slightly. "How's the family, Bud?"

"They're excited to see you. . .You're still passing by on Sunday, right, sir?" The Roberts' clan were to have a small barbeque, just the family with Harm, Mac, Sturgis, Varese and Jen.

"Yes and Mac and I might ride together, we'll probably be busy in cases all weekend.." He lied, but they still hadn't exactly, officially, let everyone know of the depth of their relationship.

But Bud wasn't stupid, for that matter neither was anyone else at JAG ops who seemed to be glued on the on goings of a certain Commander and Lt. Colonel. "Uh, sir. . .You do realize that _I know_ about you and Colonel MacKenzie."

The rubber band Harm was pulling at suddenly snapped and flew across the office. His cheeks flushed slightly as his wide eyes settled onto Bud. "Are we really _that_ obvious?"

"Oh yes!" Bud couldn't contain his smile if he tried, he was positively giddy that his two favorite people were an item. Quickly realizing he was talking to s senior officer, he cleared his throat and wiped away his smirk. "Yes, sir."

"And, you obviously think it's a _good_ thing?" Harm asked hesitantly. It was getting even more interesting to see just how many people were pulling for him and Mac. More interesting than that, however, was how blind they'd obviously been. It seemed that everyone figured they were good together but them.

"Sir, I've known you and the Colonel since you've been you and the Colonel." Pausing a moment, he thought back to that day in the rose garden. "Actually, I mean, I've known you and the Colonel since it was you and the Major, so. . Well, that would make you a Lt. Commander so I guess it would be that I've known you as a Lt. Commander and the Colonel as a. . ."

"Bud, I get the point. . ." He said with a chuckle. Even through years of 'maturity' Bud still had a tendency to bumble during certain things. It was something that added to the Lt. Commander's charm.

"Yes, sir. . .Well, since I've known you for so long. . .It really didn't occur to me, at first, that you and the Colonel _liked_ each other romantically. . ." He'd even defended the two of them on several occasions to several different people. 'No, they are strictly professional.' 'The Commander and the Major are _working _partners, there would never be any improper relationship between them.' But, as time passed – mainly the time he met and fell in love with Harriet Simms - he started to notice things that only people in love noticed. The teasing, the banter, through friendly between Harm and Mac, had an element of something else. A spark that you couldn't quite put your finger on. "But, when time went by and I noticed how jealous you two got at your significant others, it got me thinking. . .Especially when you went to find Lt. Schonke's killer, sir. . .I saw you two kiss."

Harm paled immediately. In the long list of things that had occurred between him and Mac, that night was both a high and a low. He'd put Diane to rest that night, Mac had saved his career, but he'd also opened up to feeling something more than friendship for her. True, he was kissing Diane goodbye, Mac with that Naval uniform would have probably fooled the Schonke family who knew Diane best, but, there was something that happened between the moment they kissed to the moment they stopped. A new set of feelings awakened in him, confusing feelings because he'd finally realized that he'd fallen in love with Sarah MacKenzie and was no longer in love with the ghost of Diane Schonke. "That night was. . .strange, Bud."

"I remember. When we followed you home, the Major mentioned something that Holbarth had seen Lt. Schonke's ghost. . .That apparently you did too. . . It really didn't occur to me, at all, sir, that she looked so much like her." In truth, he'd put that part of his life far behind. That night, he and Mac followed Harm home, in part because they were worried. But, it appeared Harm didn't need any help, so Bud sat in Mac's Jeep as the two stood outside of his door in a silent conversation. "I am sorry to ask, sir. . .But I've wondered for so long. What _did_ you tell the Major that night?"

Sighing, Harm turned to glance out of the window. That night, he stood outside, holding Mac's hand, seeing her as her - just her - for the first time in forever. "I asked her to forgive me, for the times I've thought of her as someone else. . .And she forgave me and, to be honest, I've never seen Diane in her ever since. . .It was quite amazing." With a smirk he turned around, back to Bud. "And yes, we're going out. . .We're just trying to take things slow, I guess. . . I mean, get to know each other, if that makes sense?"

Bud nodded. "I think it does, sir. . .But, if you allow me a piece of advice from a happily married man?" He waited for Harm's okay, then grinned. "Don't wait too long, the Colonel is a very attractive woman, eventually, she might actually wind up with someone else, forever this time. . .You've been lucky, sir. Both of you have. . .It's sort of like the universe has made a grand design to stick the two of you together."

"Then why has it taken so long?"

"Because you and the Colonel are much too stubborn and I think that fate was trying to show you two that no matter what you do, you'll always wind up together." With that, the Lt. Commander stood, and headed towards his own office.

Harm just shook his head and chuckled. "Mac and I are the one of the universe's grand designs, huh?" Ah, well, he didn't think about things like that. Though he did have his occasional metaphysical moments. But, maybe there was a grand design, perhaps that could account why, after so many obstacles got in the way, they still wound up together.

August 24, 2005  
1500 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

"Good morning, everyone. . .excuse the lateness, traffic on the Beltway makes me wish I had helicopter in my briefcase." The General said, as he made his way to the head of the conference table. His staff chuckled at his odd sense of humor, then sobered as he slipped on his reading glasses. "Well, everyone is here. . .Colonel, how did you and the Commander come to such a quick conclusion on the Marion court-martial?"

Mac glanced over at Harm who rolled his eyes. The Marion case had belonged to two other JAGs who had been called abroad and did not have the time to worry about it. Harm and Mac were the two most experience on the case and were handed it last night, about an hour before quitting time. "Well, sir. The Commander spoke to Major Marion who, oddly presented information on his own guilt."

The General lowered his glassed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Come again?"

"Sir, the Major was trying to pass the nitrous oxide information to a buyer. But, he needed to fax me some files that I was going to use to prove his innocence. Well, by mistake, he faxed the nitrous oxide information to me. . .And I, of course, needed to present the information to the Colonel. . .So, I contacted the Major and we struck a bargain within fifteen minutes." It had sucked, really it had. It had been the first _real_ case he had gotten. A Marine Major accused of stealing and selling nitrous oxide gas. It would have been a tough case, he knew that, but was up to the challenge.

"Very well, then. . . I'll send the Colonel's offer to the convening authority." Creswell made a few notes, then looked up, directly at Harm and grinned, the last few days he'd noticed Harm's difficulty in getting into the swing of things, and now he had a perfect way to jumpstart his star lawyer's abilities. "You don't have anything pressing on your plate do you, Commander?"

Harm glanced over at Mac. "Well, yes the Colonel and I. . ."

"That isn't a pressing case." Removing his glasses, he placed them on the able and leaned back with a grin. This was a good idea, he knew it was. "Commander, how would you feel about taking a TAD on the USS Patrick Henry?"

A carrier? Immediately his nostrils filled with the familiar scent of jet fuel. His hears with the wham of the catapult. He said once that part of him would always live on a ship and, indeed, that was the case. "The Henry? Very happy, sir."

Oh, but there was something, more, a bonus really. "Good, their JAG is Stateside and they'll need a replacement for about a week. . .I'll get on the horn with Captain Ingles and see if he can arrange some time for you to do quals."

Being on a ship was one thing, but the thought of being back behind the cockpit of a plane was a totally different thing. "Quals, sir?" His grin spread just a little wider, he felt like a kid during Christmas time.

"I assume you want to keep yourself current?"

Harm nodded. "Yes, sir. . .I just wasn't sure I'd get the opportunity so soon."

Creswell grinned at the younger man and shook his head in amusement. He'd never be able to figure out just what those jet jockey's found fun about strapping their sixes into a sardine can fitted with high powered engines. "Well, just don't blow away any one important and you can thank me later. . . Next, Commander Turner, you and Mr. Roberts will. . ."

Mac tensed slightly at the thoughts of Harm going flying. She hated it, a lot, but, for the love of him, would not make a scene of it. And, for sure, she'd never ask him to give it up. Being a pilot was part of what she loved about him and if she needed to endure a bit of unease at his absence she would - after she wished him luck.

August 25, 2005  
1320 Local  
USS Patrick Henry  
Virginia Capes Operating Area

Harm stepped out of the COD and glanced around at the familiar sight. It felt good to be home, though his heart was still back at his other home. He knew he was going to miss Mac, but didn't realize it would be _this_ much. He'd promised to chat with her over the computer as soon as possible. First, he'd had to settle in. Their goodbye had been odd, maybe a bit strained and he knew it was because she was always apprehensive of him flying. Twice she had wished him luck, then kissed him as if she already missed him. He insisted on her not taking him to Andrews, that their goodbyes would be easier if he just left from the apartment.

"Commander." A familiar voice brought him out of his reverie. Standing before him wearing the protective vest and cranial, was non-other than Lt. Commander Elizabeth "Skates" Hawkes. She saluted him and smiled as he pulled her in for a hug. "Good to have you back, sir."

"Are you my official welcome party, Skates? It seems like every time I head back out here, you're the first one saying hi." He yelled over the deck noises as they made their way towards the hatch.

Skates chuckled. "Well, sir, just want to make you feel comfortable in case I need you to save my life again."

"Well, then, I can't argue with that." He opened up the hatch and stepped in, taking a deep breath from all of the noise and turmoil outside. "Congratulations on your promotion, you deserved it."

Skates led the way, weaving them through the maze that was the Seahawk, side stepping stairwells and personnel. "It would have come sooner had I not had that little mishap when I was playing LSO."

"You're a good officer, Skates. I see you fast tracking your way to captain." They headed past the pilot ready room, where the jet jocks stood by laughing and commenting on the video of their flights. That familiar nostalgia came back to him, of a life that was taken away practically by force. He grinned at the sight then kept moving towards the 'legal weenie' office. Once there, he tossed his sea bag onto the rack and carefully took out his laptop. "Skates, do you know if the Captain was able to secure some flight time for me?"

"Yes, sir. . . If you have no pressing cases, we'll be up in the air at 0 nine hundred tomorrow." She grinned up at him, noting a familiar spark and a slight bit of confusion.

"We?"

Skates nodded. "Yes, sir. Our fleet received a couple of F-18 F's, which means you get me as a backseater. . .If you want one that is."

Harm chuckled. "Well, since you put it that way, I'd be happy to."

"Catch you later, sir and, some advice, try to get some sleep now, the fleet's launching in about three hours, Captain Ingles is meeting with the CAG and the fleet Admiral, he said that you should come up when maneuvers start which gives you about two hours to catch some Z's."

Taking the advice of a good friend, Harm closed the hatch behind him, stripped down to his boxers and undershirt then slipped into the cot. With a sigh, he allowed the light rocking of the ship to drift him off to dream land.

August 26, 2005  
0815 Local  
USS Patrick Henry  
Virginia Capes Operating Area

Harm, Skates and the rest of the fleet sat in the ready room while the CAG, Commander Andrew "Rabbit" McCall went through the normal speeches about quals and pitching decks. The day prior, Harm had met with Captain Ingles who gave him information on the three cases he would be working on during his week stay on the ship. They were all straight forward, easy, nothing to write home about and Harm wanted to keep it that way. The easier things in JAGland went, the more chances he would have to fly.

The CAG was especially pleased to have Harm on the ship, the two had gone to flight school together and McCall's baby brother, a petty officer on the ship when Harm played tag with a dirty nuke, was one of the thousands that was saved that day. "You nuggets are to listen to the senior fliers, I don't want any mistakes out there. Dismissed!" Walking over to Harm he clasped his friend's hand and patted him on the back. "Harm, how the hell are ya, pal?"

"Pretty good. Congrats on making CAG."

Rabbit chuckled. "You know if you still were permanently attached to the fleet you'd have been here first. Skates, this is the best stick in the Navy." He patted Harm's back once again and grinned.

Skates nodded in agreement. "And a pretty good lawyer as well."

Harm chuckled. "Well, I don't know about being the best stick, but I can hold my own as a legal weenie."

"Today you ain't no legal weenie, Hammer, you're part of the fleet. . .Go suit up, we'll chat a bit later." He patted Skates on the shoulder then headed off to the bridge.

Harm and Skates made their way through the ship and down to the pilot's locker room. "How's the Colonel?" Skates asked as she zipped up the various parts of her G-suit.

"Ah." He stammered, eyes widening slightly. He shook his head and took a deep breath. 'Calm Harm, keep calm, so you're dating, it's no big deal.' Turning to Skates he smiled broadly. "She's doing good."

But Skates caught something in her friend's eye, that she could read like an open book. The Colonel was more than just 'doing good.' And Skates, being the good friend that she was, took that moment to rib him a little. "You're dating." She said in a whisper, leaning in slightly so that the others couldn't hear. She didn't get a verbal answer, but Harm paling slightly declared it to be an affirmative. "Well, I think that's great. . .It's about time." She grabbed her helmet and handed Harm his. Together they made their way through the bowels of the ship and towards the stairwell that would take them to the hatch for the flight deck. "So is it serious?"

Harm sighed, he needed his head to be in the game and knew, for a fact that Skates would grill him, even in the air to get information. She was good at that, and since they had this whole pilot/RIO camaraderie, the fact that she was lower in rank didn't deter her from being too personal. So, to answer her question, "Is marriage serious?" He answered much the same as she did years ago when discussing her departure from the Navy that never came.

"You're engaged?" She said, her eyes alight with happiness. Skates knew the Colonel fairly well, though not quite as well as she knew Harm. She found the other woman to be smart, and, like her, one that wouldn't let this veritable 'boys club' have their way with them. Ever since she saw Harm and Mac interacting together, she, like everyone else on the planet, knew they were born to be together.

Shaking his head, Harm headed up the steps with Skates behind him. "Not yet. . .Still working some kinks out."

"Kinks?"

Again he sighed and images of Temir passed fleetingly through his mind. "Yea, I am sure you heard. . .I went missing for sometime." He stopped before the hatch, waiting for crewmen to go in and out as Skates finished ascending the steps. Most people had known what happened, he found that out yesterday when walking around the ship. Several of the sailors would smile at him or nod as if giving thanks for what he did. He didn't like it, but, then again, he was accustomed to it, especially after all of his antics.

"Uh, yea. . .I just. . .didn't want to bring that up unless you did." She stood next to him, studying her friend for a moment. The light that was currently in his eyes seemed to be extinguished. If she didn't know any better, she'd say part of him was still in captivity. "Look, if you ever want to talk about it. . .I'm here, Harm."

Harm genuinely smiled down at his friend then opened the hatch for her. "Thanks Skates, I might take you up on that. . .Now, we got a bird to fly." They headed across the flight deck and checked the plane out before hopping into the cockpit. The plane captain gave it another once over and soon they were rolling into position in front of the catapult. It all came back to him, the controls, the commands, it literally was something that once learned a person would never forget. He took a deep breath then tensed his body as the crew gave him the thumbs up. "Here we go." With a whoosh, they rolled off of the deck and glided into the skies.

They took the normal trip out and around the ship. It was a beautiful day for flying, the skies were blue, the sun was shining and the seas were calm. It would lull anyone in to a false sense of security. As Harm lined himself up with the ship he felt a slightly odd feeling with the controls. "Hammer, we need a helluva lot more power than that." Skates said over the headset with just a mild twinge of amusement. But, when Harm didn't instantly correct, she was concerned. "Harm?"

Harm pushed the throttle but didn't get a response. "Skates, she isn't responding." Was his panicked response. "Damned thing is stuck!" He said with a groan as he used his body weight to try and move it.

"I'll start ejection procedures." She said hurriedly and proceeded to relay information back to the bridge.

Again Harm leaned into the throttle, trying as much as possible to save the ship. The second he put all his force into it, the throttle un-jammed sending them into a supersonic speed too close to the ship. The bridge vibrated as the plane flew by at an incredible speed. "Shit!" Harm yelled, then pulled back on the throttle as he turned the plane.

"Hornet 566, what the HELL is going on out there?" McCall asked over the radio, as he worked on cleaning up the coffee that had spilled over the small table in front of him. He watched as Harm's plane attempted to line up again.

"Throttle got stuck, CAG. When I tried to un-jam it, this thing went supersonic on us. . .I don't know what the hell happened." He glanced at Skates through the rearview and she gave him a thumbs up. "How much fuel do we have?"

"Enough for one wave off. . .Don't screw the pooch Harm." She had confidence in him as pilot, even though she'd been through the most traumatic experience of her life with Harm. "I trust you."

Harm took a deep breath, aligned the plane but it was coming too low. Immediately flashes of his ramp strike shot through his mind along with images of Mac, Temir, and those other men in his nightmare. 'No. . .Concentrate! Concentrate.'

"Hornet 566 you're too low! YOU'RE TOO LOW!" Harm sent the plane skyward and after a couple of seconds, he heard chatter over the headset. "What the hell is going on up there, Hammer?" The LSO asked, but got no answer.

Again, they went around the ship, but Harm couldn't get his mind off of the nightmares. "Damnit. . .Damnit."

Skates watched him through the mirror, he was sweating profusely, his eyes couldn't seem to focus. "Hammer. . .Harm. . .Concentrate. You know what to do, damnit. You are the best pilot on this squadron. Just fly this damned thing the way you know how. . .You have someone to go home to now and she'll be very pissed off if you dunk us in the Atlantic again, you read me, sir?"

Harm glanced at her through the mirror and nodded. "Ye-yea. . .I got you. . .I got you." For the third time, he aligned his plane with the ship, this time finally managing to land it. It wasn't a pretty landing, but at least they were on the island safe and sound.  
. . . . . . . . . .

NK - My condolences to yer puter, it will be missed. ;)

Brittany - There will be some romance before we get mean. ;)

Ltjgmeg - And what if it isn't Palmer? ;) They have many enemies, clients, relatives. You never know. :)

froggy - Yea, harm would drive himself nuts with thoughts of him hurting Mac. The next chappie he'll be driving himself nuts over his problem flying :(

jtbwriter - Dull roar! That just ain't fun dood! It will be an entertaining angst. :)

chantelmac - Thanks for the kind words. One can hope the ending to JAG isn't as bad as we think. Cross fingers, toes and stuff. ;)

harmfan - WAAAY off base! No equipment as murder weapon! Sheesh. Sicko! The bad guy will use soemthing done in their pasts again, but in a different way. ;) wow, I am just soo descriptive. ;)


	5. The Highs And Lows Of Flying pt 2

Part 6 which will post either on monday or over the weekend will have the talk between Harm and Mac about what is going on with him. And they'll end up going the Robert's house as Harm promised Bud a chapter ago. :)

Thanks for reading!

Have a great weekend once we get there!

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, and anyone else I missed for the feedback:)

Part 5 – The Highs And Lows Of Flying pt 2

August 27, 2005  
0230 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Drip. Drop. Drip, drip. Drop. Drip. It wasn't supposed to rain, but, then again, when do the weather folk actually _know_ anything? Bad weather wasn't always a bad thing, especially if you are someone who is considered to be a 'bad guy.' The poor weather often aided in masking things during a mission. But, there was one, tiny problem, the structure he hid away in, was no longer impermeable to water. Years of abandonment and misuse had destroyed it beyond repair.

The building was an abandoned mill in Virginia, not too far away from DC. It had not been used for fifteen years. Apparently, there had been some sort of chemical agent in the grounds that was poisoning the workers which accounted for the countless deaths that plagued an already hazardous work environment. Workers would often head in feeling ill and under the weather which would cause work to suffer. Worse of all, it would cause several to become just a little too careless. Eventually, the company was force to stop all production, lay off all workers and leave the grounds. The state of the land made it a prime location for a certain agency in need of training expendable personnel. A large, semi-inaccessible location, where they could train all sorts of agents in different 'arts' and 'crafts.' The long passage ways and machinery made it ideal to teach said agents how to play a little 'hide and seek.' Then, just as quickly as they settled in, this certain agency pulled out and the building had been empty since.

It was the ideal location for working on secret things without anyone finding out. Better still, it was the perfect hide away. Because of the chemical still on the grounds, no one wanted to walk in there. But, that meant absolutely nothing to someone who really did not have much a care about life. So there, in the center of the foreman's office, a man sat, diligently working on the next big scheme. He glanced up at the ceiling, noticing the yellow water stain that trailed from the edge of the ceiling and right smack in the middle where it dripped. It was dripping in other places as well, in fact, this was, so far, the most dry place to work. With a huff, he took a long drag of a Marlboro Red, then spun around in his chair.

The waiting game was necessary, he realized this when he failed to get his mark the last time. Yes, he'd waited then. He waited a pretty damn long time too, but he obviously hadn't waited enough. Standing, he headed out of the foreman's office and headed down the metal walkway, amazed at how that part of the structure was still intact. He walked in through a single, metal door and into the only room that seemed to be structurally safe. There was a reason for that, the former plant manager's office is where he would keep his trophy. He cleaned his feet on the small rug and stepped in. The place really didn't look like it belonged inside a mill. It looked more like a regular, small bedroom of a modest apartment. It had a bathroom and a small closet along with the bed that he bought. It would do. Stepping out, he locked the metal door then headed along the metal catwalk. He weaved his way around the pipes and up a maze of steps until he arrived at a wall where rungs were attached to make some sort of ladder.

He put out the cigarette, and carefully started moving upwards. Halfway up, he jumped up slightly, reaching the top rung which was only accessible if you had the courage to pull yourself passed the other two which were yanked from the concrete wall. Then, he swung himself over and out onto the roof of the building. There were visible cracks here and there. Someone who knew of the government usage of the building, knew that the structure was not very sound because of explosions that had been used to train the personnel. No matter, he'd been up there enough times to know where to step and where not to step. Carefully, he made his way across the rooftop and even from such a far off distance, he could see the lightening crashing down on the Earth.

He hopped up to the ledge, then sat down, his legs dangling precariously as his head raised up to the heavens. There was no stopping him now. No, now, he had everything just how he needed it to be. This time he had the right players and pawns. Chuckling malevolently, he chastised himself. How could he be so stupid and not _see_ the best way to bring damage? He had to be an idiot not to notice it. Well, that is what happened when someone was far too preoccupied with plots of revenge – sometimes you don't see clearly. But now he had plenty of time to see clearly, to plan and devise and manipulate. This would be his greatest scheme, the one crowning achievement. With a sigh, he just lamented that he really wouldn't be able to see most of it, only the end result.

1620 Local  
USS Patrick Henry  
Virginia Capes Operating Area

"Oh God." He couldn't stop shaking. It had been more than 24 after their harrowing experience, but, Harm still couldn't stop shaking. He leaned against the hatch to his room and took a deep, calming breath. They'd gone up again, him and Skates. This time the landing was better, but it was far from something that would make the LSO's happy. They'd all attested it to him not flying on a regular basis. Okay, that could be true, but Harm knew differently.

Defeated, he slid out of his flight suit and tossed it across the small room watching as it hit the locker and slid down to a pool on the floor. He made his way to the desk, powered up the laptop and waiting for a few minutes. Mac had to be in the office, she just had to be. He needed someone to talk to, someone who he knew would kick his six back into place.

'_Hey Marine.' _He typed out after running his instant messaging program. Impatiently, he drummed his fingers on the desk. No answer. _'I guess you are not there. . .I needed to.'_ He paused for a moment, then with a shrug typed in some more. _'I just need to talk.'_ Leaving the computer, he made his way over to his flight suit and gingerly picked it up. He'd earned his way fair and square, he'd fought for his country and flew in hazardous conditions. Why in the hell couldn't he make a few simple traps. Well, okay, you can't call landing on a carrier 'simple.' But, he'd never been _this_ scared before in his life.

'_Hey there, flyboy. . .You behaving? I better not hear of any female sailors swooning over you. ;o)' _The little smiley at the end of Mac's sentence brought a small smile to Harm's lips. _'I hope you're still there. . .I was about to write you an e-mail when Harriet passed by with the kids.'_

Ah, the kids. He was going to miss their little get together on Sunday. There would be others, but it seemed to him that kids just grew too darn fast. _'Yea, I am still here, just. . .hanging up my flight suit.'_ He typed, standing behind his seat. With a nod, he made his way to the locker and placed the flight suit in the proper place.

'_Oooh, so you're standing there sans-flight suit:grin: Is this the point where you ask me what I'm wearing?'_ Harm laughed when he read the response, then couldn't help chuckling. Damn even when he wanted to feel miserable, she was able to get him out of it. He was going to have to do something nice for her when he returned. _'So, you said you needed to talk. . .Is it an 'I Miss You' sort of talk or an 'I need to bounce ideas off of you' or is something up?'_

Damn she was good, too good really. _'It's the last one.'_ And without beating around the bush he hurriedly typed. _'I think what's left of my career as an aviator is over.'_ He typed it out slow and methodically, then hit the return key without much fanfare. He reread it a few times and it all seemed so real now. It was maybe even a little scary and definitely sad. His wings, clipped for good.

'_Harm, what happened?'_ Taking another deep breath, he typed out the account in detail, pausing several times to re-read what he wrote. He told her the facts – a brief investigation had found that the mechanism which the throttle was attached to, had gotten stuck. It wasn't a common occurrence and Harm would not be at fault even though his landing was not a pretty one. Most saw it as a pilot unable to get into his groove after a scary experience. _'Okay, maybe I misunderstood. . .If you aren't at fault, why did you tell me your flying career is over?'_

This was the tricky part. How could he explain to her that he felt he just didn't have it anymore. That he lost his edge. _'I don't think I can go up again. . .I lost something.'_

"_Harm, it was a tough moment, I understand. . . You had to have gone through worse during the Gulf war. What about after your ramp strike? You still got up there."_

He did get back up there, though it was hell to fly after he'd spent so many years away from the cockpit. Back then he did it to save Tom Boone. Now, he wasn't saving anything cept for tax payers money if he didn't fly. Besides, he wasn't a young man anymore and soon he'd just have to give it up anyway. _'This is different, Mac. . .Once a pilot looses his edge, it's best not to go back up. . . If I do something stupid, it's not just my life, I'd be responsible for others. . . I can't go through that.'_

Mac knew Harm had a penchant for blaming himself over things. Fundamentally she knew he'd have problems when they arrived back from Canada. A person couldn't possibly live through months of captivity without it affecting you. But this she wasn't prepared for. As much as she would have loved to hear he'd never fly again, she loved him too much to allow him to take that away from himself. He was a great pilot, one of the best and she was damned proud of that. _'You have to try Harm, you need to get back up there and beat this thing:_

'_I thought you'd be happy if I never flew again?'_

'_I won't lie, I hate it when you fly, part of me is up there with you. . .But asking you not to fly or encouraging you not to fly is like. . .like someone telling me that I couldn't love all of you. . .Because I fell for a cocky pilot and lawyer, not for one or the other. And I want the whole package.' _

'_Eventually I'll have to stop flying anyway. I can't do this forever. I am not getting any younger.'_

'_I know. But, I don't think now is the time for you to give it up.'_

'_So you want me to go up despite the fact that I am currently scared to death?'_

Mac, on her side of the world, stared at the words with an odd mix of emotions. More than anything she felt the need to be physically close to him. To hold him, soothe him. With a frown she typed, _'If you are that unsure about going up again, then don't. You can always give it a try again next time. Besides, you have nothing to prove to anyone. You are an awesome pilot and a hero. But you aren't immortal, Harm. Things do get to you, it's just part of being human. When you get back we'll talk about things ad nausea. Then we can make a rational decision about your pilot status.'_

Harm read the words twice and then a third time for good measure. This couldn't be the same woman who had said never. _'We can make a rational decision? This from a woman who said there would never be an us?'_

She didn't quite know what to make out of his statement. Was it meant in anger or was he just trying to bait her into some stupid argument? God knows they still hadn't had that first couple's fight. And with their personalities it was pretty obvious things could get heated. So, Mac treaded carefully. _'When I said never, it was a mistake. I thought we both needed a clean break. I was wrong, I'm sorry and I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you give me the chance. And yes, damnit, I meant it when I said 'we.' I want to be in this with you. I want to help you, is that so wrong?'_

Suddenly, he felt a little angry with himself. He hadn't meant for his statement to sound so, cold. Then again, he was trying to rib her, but, in his mood, he really couldn't be held accountable for it. _'Mac, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be an ass. Look, I am going to get some rack time. I'm heading back on Thursday. See if you can get Friday off, we'll go somewhere.'_

'_Okay, but take care of yourself. No matter what happens, I love you.'_

Three simple words, yet they held so much emotion and angst all in one. Maybe if he'd told her that so many years ago, life would have been different, pleasantly different. Then again, in the end, he did get the girl. _'I love you too, Sarah. Bye.'_

September 2, 2005  
1620 Zulu  
Blue Ridge Mountains  
Virginia

"Now, Mac. Pull back on the stick and push down on the right rudder." Harm commanded over the headset and held on as his partner sent the plane into an aerobatic maneuver. Their joined laughter filled their ears. The day was absolutely breathtaking and one hundred percent perfect for flying. He'd let Mac fly in the pilot's seat with the agreement that he would be the one flying them home. This new side of her amused him. After their crash in Paraguay he thought she'd never ever go in a biplane with him again and now, she was piloting one.

Mac pulled back on the stick and aligned the plane so that it went straight up in the air. "My teacher taught us this one." Letting go of the controls, she let the plane seem like it was falling out of the air only to swoop it back up and bank it to the left side. "Oooooooh yea!"

Harm was in the front seat, laughing. "I think you missed your real calling in life, Marine."

"Think it's too late to change my designator? I am sure we can pull a few strings and get me over to the Marine air wing. Then we'll both be bug drivers." (AN: Bug driver Hornet pilot) She joked, then chuckled along with him. Sure, she could learn to fly the biplane, but supersonic flight? Hell no. That wasn't in this Marine's destiny. "So, where we landing? My stomach is talking to me."

"Give me a sec. . .I need to confer with the GPS." He lowered his head and started down at the contraption. Flipping a few controls, he found they were about ten minutes away from a place Frank had told him about. "Keep heading southeast. . .You'll see a runway."

"Roger that." Mac kept her eyes open and then, about eight minutes later, she spotted the runway nestled within lush, green vegetation. "Is there a control tower here?"

Harm glanced out. "Yes, I'll contact them." He relayed all of his information to the small control tower and was cleared to land. "All clear. . . Give me a smooth landing, Marine."

The landing was better than picture perfect. She flew the plane in at the correct angle, then eased it down, allowing it to kiss the tarmac and continue to roll along it as it's speed descended. "How was that, Commander?"

"Colonel, you can take 'Sarah' up anytime." He was impressed, very impressed. She'd learned all of this for him. To keep part of him alive and he was touched. "See that building to your left? Taxi her that way." Mac headed the plane in the direction of the hangar and soon, they came to a stop inside.

Standing up, Harm grabbed the small duffle that had all of his things, then jumped down. Reaching up, he grabbed Mac's duffle and placed them on the ground then wrapped his hands around Mac's waist as he eased her down to the ground. His impish grin made her chuckle. With a shrug he said, "What? So I like touching you."

"Uh huh, you wanted to do one of those romance movie thingies and sweep me down with a swoosh." She waved her hands through the air, exaggerating the movement which only made him chuckle more. With a grin, she stepped up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "It was nice thou." She conceded, then grabbed her duffle.

"Harmon Rabb, how are ya, boy?" That voice could come from non other than Pops, the former hangar owner of where he kept 'Sarah' in Blacksburg. Glancing over at Mac his smile widened a few notches. "Oh, I see you aren't doing too bad are you?" He wiped his hands of grease and offered one to Mac who shook it. "Name's Robert Wells, but everyone calls me Pops."

"Sarah MacKenzie, nice to meet you."

Harm also took Pop's hand then got slapped in the back as Pops enthusiastically called him a "Lucky Devil." Leaving Pop's to chat it up a bit with Mac, he went out to the small office in hopes they'd had a car waiting for them, or some mode of transportation which he could use for the surprise he planned. Sure enough, just next to the office was a four year old Jeep Wrangler. In just ten minutes, after getting the keys to the Jeep and giving last minute instructions to Pop's on when they'd return, Harm and Mac were on their to the small town of Crockett.

"Your not scoring any points keeping a hungry Marine waiting, Commander." Mac said with a small smile. She was starving, but, seeing as through most of the driving trip he'd been ranting and raving about a 'surprise,' she was sure that she could wait. That was until her stomach grumbled again. "Shhh! Down girl!" She commanded, rubbing a hand over her stomach.

Harm just shook his head in amusement. "Ever think of doing one of those eating contests?"

"Ewww, no! I have a figure to watch."

"And boy is it fun to watch your figure, MacKenzie." He said with a smirk, for which he earned a soft slap on the arm. "Owww!"

Mac rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Oh please, didn't Annapolis treat you guys not to be so wimpy? I mean, at least the Marines. . .Oh Wow!" There, right in front of them was a small cabin nestled within the pines and hardwoods. "Is this the surprise?" She really, really, really hoped that his answer would be. . .

"Yes." He'd called ahead of time to make the reservation for them to stay in this bed and breakfast within the Blue Ridge Mountains. The place, instead of being one large building, was actually a group of small cabins where the main purpose was privacy. It was a popular place of honeymooners or couples just wanting to get away, or so Frank had told him. "We're completely private and since it's a B&B, they'll bring us food and make sure we have everything we need." He parked the Jeep in the designated space, then got out and went around to open the door for Mac who was still awestruck. With a grin, he looked into the mountains. "The last time we were in a cabin it was under some odd circumstance, I want to change that."

Mac placed her hands on the sides of his face then pulled him close for a soft kiss. "Thank you." But, it wasn't her that needed to extend the thanks, it was Harm who needed this time with her, without the real world getting in the way. "Now are we going inside or we just going to stand out here and stare all day long?"

Grabbing their things, they headed towards the cabin and, after fumbling with the keys, Harm opened the door and stepped in. He let out a long whistle. The cabin was entirely made out of wood. Upon walking in, the first view was of the bed and the two oversized chairs with ottoman that faced the fireplace across the room. Behind the door, in a raised platform was a large tub, big enough to fit two. There were a few 'modern' touches, a TV, radio, mini fridge and microwave. Finally, under the window was a table for two. "I was trying to surprise you but I think I got me as well. . .this is nice." It was a small cabin, definitely not built for more than two people. It was quaint, cute and the best part, it was private and practically secluded.

Walking past Harm, Mac headed towards the bed and sat down on the edge. She bounced on it a bit, glancing at him with a mischievous grin. "Yep, it's perfect." She curled her finger and patted the bed.

Even as he spoke, Harm was tearing his t-shirt off. "I thought you were hungry?" Walking over, he stood in front of Mac and bent down to kiss her.

"I am hungry. . . just not for food." Licking her lips, she made quick work of his belt and the zipper to his jeans. Harm tugged them off, then went to work on removing her clothing. "Oooh. . .and I thought only us Marine's stormed the beaches."

"Mac, just shut up and kiss me." He said with a chuckle and the only other words uttered were those of encouragement as they made love. (AN: Lame, I know. . .but you can't always write smut! Get your mind out of the gutter people! Sheesh!)

September 3, 2005  
1852 Zulu  
Big Walker Lookout  
Wytheville, Virginia

"Dear, sweet, Jesus." Harm huffed as she stood to the side, allowing to teenagers, followed by, what had to be their girlfriends, pass by him and up the steps to the lookout. He glanced up to find Mac a few steps higher than him, shaking her head with amusement. "What? You can't tell me this sort of thing isn't taxing."

Mac sighed and sat down on one of the steps. "Actually, I was more amused at how religious you suddenly got." With a smirk, she handed him the bottle of water she was carrying and watched as he took a big drink. "Hey, not too much. . ." Maybe hiking today was a bad idea? She was fairly certain that he still wasn't up to par. He'd managed to get some weight back on his body, but it was possible that the drastic loss and the trauma he suffered from Temir would affect him for life. Or so Dr. Bishop had told her, she hoped that wasn't the case. "Harm, sit down for a bit, take a break and we'll take the rest of this tower slowly." With a nod, he lowered himself onto the steps and took a deep breath. They were heading up the Big Walker Lookout in Wytheville, Virginia.

Though they'd had a very nice and romantic time at the cabin, it was Harm's idea for them to see the sites and, as the manager of the B&B suggested, 'be one with nature.' Mac lowered herself a few steps so that she sat right behind Harm. Her hands came to his shoulders, which she started to rub gently. "Why are you so tense?" If possible, that question managed to tense him up even more. He knew she would pick up his hesitation and fought his urge to move her hands off of him. He knew that would bring up more questions and he wasn't up to running their much deserved weekend. "Is it because of the quals?" She frowned, from the moment he arrived back at home, he'd made the unilateral decision not to talk about it. She would try to bring it up and Harm would find one of his Rabb-methods of avoidance. So, she opted to let it slide, but now, as her hands worked on kinks that only seemed to get worse with each stroke, she was going to press him on it. "Something else happened and I know it's not just the thing in Canada." She deduced that it couldn't possibly just be reoccurring trauma because of Temir.

Harm didn't want to answer, how could he when the reason for his current state was sitting right behind him, carefully kneading his aching body. "You're right. . .there is something else. . .I just can't tell you here. . .Can we wait until we get back home?"

"Home as in DC?"

"Yea." It was a desperate attempt in hopes that she would forget about it altogether. He knew that wasn't the case and she'd grill him the moment they'd walk through the door.

But Mac had other plans come what may. "No. But we can talk about it when we get back to the cabin." He turned slightly, trying to protest but with one flick of the wrist and a pinch in an obviously painful muscle, she quieted him. "Sorry. . . Look, I think it's better we talk about it here so we can leave it here and not take it home with us."

He made to look at her and saw the no nonsense look and knew, immediately that she'd won. "Fine, but you aren't going to like it."

"No, I don't suppose I would, but I promised to look out for you and to be with you. If getting a little upset is what it takes, then bring it on."

It was admirable, the way she was so vehement on sticking by his side. He felt the same strong need to take care of a relationship that was a long time coming. He loved her too much to let her go or to let this damn them. Standing up, he rolled his shoulders, then reached a hand down to help Mac. "Okay, MacKenzie, let's tackle this monster, huh?" This time, they did manage to make it all the way up without stopping.

At the top awaited a breathtaking view, a scenery that just couldn't survive amongst the big city hustle and bustle. Mac walked to the railing and placed her hands on it as she took a look down. Somehow, one hundred feet seemed higher from the bottom. She felt his arms wrap around her from behind and lazily leaned herself into his embrace. There was still a tension in his body, one that she could actually feel, but she vowed to help him, no matter what it took. . . .  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Ltjgmeg - Well yer gonna haveta wait and see! You'll find out soonish. :)

ng - You are forgiven! They're already having sex. ;) As for the babies, there's something in the works, just don't get your hopes up. It's not what you'll expect.

Xblue - Mac is going to try to make him get better, but there is a reason for all of his... shall we say, uneasiness. The dream holds a key peice that he hasn't thought about yet.

Brittany - Did the TAD end soon enough? ;)

Alix - Yea! Action packed. . .I love season 2 and 3. There was the UST, the teasing, the action. sighs Then it went to hell :P

harmfan - I am not a sicko! I'm a psycho! Jeez, you'd think you'd get that right by now! shakes head ;) As for Harm and Bud playing paper football, LOL! Would love to see that on the show!

Nix - Nooooooo adrift all over again. I already did that. LOL! It's a wonder Skates even gets in the plane with the man.or Mac for that matter LOL! Umm, Harm you flyin'? Yea, well I'll walk, thanks:)


	6. Conversations Of All Kinds

Okie dokie smokies. Here's Part 6 and they finish the convo about the dream. Mac's analyzation was pretty cool methinks. I might stretch out the torture and wait another chapter before we get to know who the bad guy is. I have a few ideas on something they were going to do, but that might get scraped for another story... So once I flip a coin I'll decide. :)

Until then, heres the next dose. . .er, I mean chapter. ;)

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, and anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please!

Part 6 – Conversations Of All Kinds

0310 Zulu  
Sunset's Peak Cabins  
Wytheville, Virginia

Mac's fingers ran slowly over Harm's cheek and the slight stubble that made him look that much more sexy. With a content sigh, she leaned forward and kissed him deeply. "I love you so much." She couldn't remember a time in her life when she felt like this about anyone. So complete and hopelessly in love. She never wanted to stop feeling like this.

One of Harm's hands was running under the covers, over the curvature of her hip, then right up her spine. He felt her shiver and knew it wasn't from the cold, but from his touches. It gave him a smug grin of satisfaction. "You know I've never felt like this about anyone. . .not even Diane. . .It's sorta weird."

"Weird? How so?"

It was hard to verbalize this thing he felt inside for her. Something that was awakened even more after their walls came down. He wanted to love her with his heart, his mind, his soul, his body. He wanted to pour all of these feelings into her and to take away all of the pain she felt in the past. He wanted to be her everything. "I. . . feel so much for you. . .It's so strong I can't put it into words. . . I'd die for you. . .I'd do anything in my power to make sure you are safe."

There was something in his tone, a way that he spoke and instantly Mac was aware that this was the opening she needed in order to figure out what was wrong. She had let him stew, mainly because, after their hike, they'd decided to just enjoy the time they had together without things getting in the way. Besides, how did you actually get into, what she knew would be an odd conversation? From past altercations between them, she knew that going head on might not be the wisest decision. But now she saw the opening. "Is that what's bothering you? Do you think I am in danger?"

"Yes." He said without thinking. Angered, he got out of bed, pulled on his boxer shorts and jeans and proceeded to pace. "Damnit. . .Why is this happening to me?"

Mac watched him pace, noticing, for the first time, the desperation in his posture. "Harm, calm down. . .Sit down and talk to me."

With a sigh, he conceded, taking a place next to her, just not close enough for Mac to touch him. He glanced down at the floor, shaking his head slightly. "I keep. . .having nightmares."

Mac let go of a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Tell me about them." Nightmares, okay, she'd dealt with those, many of those. At least it wasn't one of the millions of bad scenarios that had run through her mind since earlier that day. "Is that what caused the problems with your quals?"

Harm nodded. "The throttle did get stuck. . .but, in mid-air I started having flashes of the nightmare. . .I started to panic, lost my cool." He buried his face in his hands, scrubbing slightly then turning to her with a slight smile. "I just realized this must sound ridiculous to you."

Placing a hand on his, she squeezed gently. "No, it doesn't. . .I've had many nightmares of my own, Harm. . . some were so real it scared me to death."

"Have you ever had a nightmare where something bad happens to someone you love?"

"Yea, I have. . .some of you." With a shrug, she decided to let him in on a few of her nightmares in hopes that he would share what was troubling him so much. "When you were in the CIA, I kept. . .having this nightmare that you'd been captured and I just couldn't save you. . .My greatest nightmare was for something to happen to you and me to have to live life without you knowing how I felt."

"This is a bit different. . .mostly because it feels so real." And that was the problem, he could literally feel himself being held back as he tried to reach her, to save her. The image of himself was, by far the most disturbing. Though his shrink had tried to sway his thoughts of it being nothing more than his fear of hurting Mac, there was something more he couldn't put his finger on. The figure was him, but it wasn't him, Harm wasn't a monster. He looked up noting that Mac was quietly waiting for him to continue, she squeezed his hand again for reassurance and Harm took a breath. "You're in the dream. . .so are Tanveer, Ragle, Sadik, Coster and Temir."

Mac tensed as he mentioned each man, especially those that bared a significance to her. She furled her brow as she tried to make heads or tails of that piece of information. "Everyone who's ever tried to hurt me?"

For the life of him Harm couldn't figure out why she didn't phrase that differently. Those men didn't _try_ to hurt her, all of them had gotten away with it. For that matter, so had he. "I'm in the dream too."

"Harm, I know where this is going. . .You aren't going to hurt me." She was sure of that, positive really, especially seeing how much care he took when they'd first been together. "And they are out of our lives, it's all in the past."

"Damnit Sarah, shut up!" He said angrily because he was trying so hard to work up the courage and tell her the full dream, the new, horrifying version that had haunted him during his quals. The one that not even Dr. Sexton knew about. Glancing up, he instantly knew his outburst had hurt her. Then, just as quickly, her appearance changed back into that comforting and caring one. "I'm sorry. . .Just please, let me work up the courage to tell you."

Mac nodded and held a breath. It was obvious this was more than just a nightmare. This was affecting him greatly and was probably the reason why, in the middle of the night, she found him sitting at the small table nursing a bottle of water. She was sure, had they had alcohol in the cabin, he would have taken a few swigs.

"It was simple at first. . It would start with me being held back by two goons. . .You were tied to some sort of post and you kept asking me to save you. And each time I tried, the guys would hold me back so tight it felt like my arms would rip out of my sockets." Moving off the bed, he headed towards the fridge and pulled out a bottled water. He drained half of it, then took a seat on the small table by the window. "Then I saw them, Chris, Temir, Coster, Sadik and Tanveer. . .they were all describing things they were going to do to you. . .bad things. . .and I kept trying to get to you and I kept begging them to take me. . .then out of the shadows comes this guy with dark hair." That was the part that was doing him the most damage.

"It was me. . . only it wasn't me. . . it's hard to explain, it's like he looks like me, but it isn't me. . . and he has this dagger which he uses to carve the side of your face. . .and I tried to save you, I did, but I couldn't get free. . .He tells me that he's going to do to you what they, meaning the other guys, couldn't do. . And you kept screaming. . .you kept pleading with me to help you. . ." He could still hear the screams, even as he sat there, looking at her, knowing she was alive and well, he could still hear them. Part of him could actually feel them. "When they finally let me go, I run off blindly and find you laying in pool of blood. When I lift you up to see what he did to you. . .I stare at a blank face with no features. . .I keep hearing your voice asking me to save you. . .but I can't tell where it's coming from and then the. . .woman I am holding takes a gun and shoots me, that's when I wake up." As he ended, he couldn't look into her eyes for fear of what he'd find there. Harm didn't want to worry her needlessly and all in all, it was only a dream, something that he'd woken up from. But what if there was more to it? "Therapy isn't doing shit, just making me analyze it all to death. . ."

Hugging herself the entire time he spoke, Mac finally released her arms, flexing her hands slightly to get feel back in them. His appearance, his lack of looking at her was breaking her heart. It was a dream, just some stupid, bad dream, but to the person having them, they could feel so real. She knew of that and her own fears of falling asleep because the night would bring the terrors and force her to deal with things that she just wanted to bury. "Okay, so stop analyzing it. . .I wish I could tell you that I know why you are having that nightmare. . .who the hell knows what part of our psyche brings shit like that up. . .But I do know, and feel it in my heart that you wouldn't do what they did to me." Noting he was about to object, she raised her hand and silenced him. "Yes, you've hurt me. . .you've broken my heart, you've made me feel un-feminine, you've hurt my pride. Emotionally, dealing with you has sometimes made me a train wreck." Harm stared up at her with a look of disbelief. Was this supposed to be making him feel better? "But I know I've done the same to you. . .and I know we've learned. . .well, sorta learned from our mistakes." She grinned.

Harm sighed. "But, give me one good reason why I keep having them then? Why I keep seeing those bastards trying to hurt you again? And why I am the one with the blade?"

"I don't know. . ."

"Maybe it's cause I couldn't help you. . ." He thought back through all of those men, through each and every trauma that she lived through. Tanveer and Temir were the more benign of her attackers. He could still see her wince in pain when the rouge agent dropped her to the floor in Manderlee. Temir had simply wanted her and she'd luckily managed to get away. "With Tanveer, damnit Mac when he tossed you like a rag doll I wanted to kill him. . .And Temir, what if he would have touched you? I couldn't have done a damned thing."

Mac sighed. "Neither times you could have done anything. . .Damnit, Harm, you warned me about Tanveer, I didn't listen. And Temir, unless you're one of the X-Men, specifically the one that can walk through walls, you couldn't have done anything. . .Not to mention, I thought he'd killed you." She frowned, recalling Harm lying on the ground after Temir had taken a shot. "As for Coster, he took us both by surprise. . I never, in a million years, would have figured that out."

Okay, so she was right about that. Though Harm disliked Coster, it didn't mean that he knew he would hurt her. Then there was Sadik, an evil that he managed to save her from only to be taken out of the game when she really needed back up. "What about Sadik. . .I should have tried harder to get rid of him in Paraguay. If I wasn't so busy playing the jealousy card. . ."

"And if I wasn't so busy trying to make you jealous."

He glanced up at her. "You were trying to make me jealous?"

"Buttering Webb's toast?" She nodded. "I was trying to get some damned emotion out from those walls of yours. . .Something that was real. . .I needed to know that you were there because you loved me, not because of your comic book-like sense of duty."

Harm chuckled at the last part. This was twice in a conversation that she'd brought up comic book references. Thinking about it, maybe it wasn't too far fetched, people had called him Superman before. "And what do you make of me with the blade?" He said, after managing to get his amusement under control.

"You said that when you finally were let loose and you got to me, that it wasn't me. . .I basically didn't have a face, right?" At his nod, she continued with a deep breath. "What if it's all a metaphor?"

"Huh?" Maybe the whole analyzing the dream thing was a bad idea. The more he got into it, the more confused things were.

Mac grinned and rolled her eyes playfully. "You said it was you, but it wasn't. . . And it was me, but it wasn't. . .well, maybe that part is about our paths. You were hurt because you couldn't rescue me. I was hurt by you. . .But then, when you got loose, it wasn't me anymore. . .So, one could deduce that it's all about the past. . .Me shooting you could be like. . .an eye for an eye. . .You hurt me, I've hurt you, it's past, it's over, it's done. . . check please." Her attempt at a jovial ending had Harm laughing with earnest.

As much as he hated to admit it, Harm was feeling better. Maybe she had a point? Maybe he just needed to talk to her and let it all go? "So how much are you going to charge me for this little session?" He made his way to the bed and plopped down next to her evidently drained from the discussion.

Mac's arms wrapped around him tightly and for reasons unbeknownst to him, Harm broke down. The sobs wracked through his whole body as her hands soothed his back. "It's okay. . .let it go Harm. . .let it go." That night, after the tears were dried, he fell asleep in her arms.

September 10, 2005  
1725 Zulu  
Roberts' Residence  
Virginia

"Daddy! Mommy! Uncle Harm and Aunt Mac are here!" An overly enthusiastic AJ Roberts yelled as he bounded into his godfather's arms. "Uncle Harm, are we gonna play with my airplanes?"

Harm glanced over at Mac who was chuckling. "Hey buddy, you aren't opening the door without permission are you?"

AJ stared at him and Mac with a sad, puppy dog expression. "But I saw you and Auntie Mac get off the car." He pleaded his case. At Harm and Mac's unified look of disapproval, he sighed, "I won't open the door without mommy or daddy telling me to."

"Good." Harm said, placing the boy back on his feet.

Immediately, AJ grabbed Mac's hand, tugging her through the house and towards the kitchen. "Aunt Mac, wanna see the picture I drew for school?"

With a sigh, Harm watched them walk away and was soon tapped on the shoulder by Bud who brought with him two beers. "Commander, nice of you and the Colonel to drop by."

"It's just Harm, Bud. . .Thanks" He said, taking the beer from the younger man. They walked their way through the house and out back to the porch where Harriet was sitting, feeding the twins.

"Harm!" She said, standing to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Harriet studied him for a moment, as if seeing him for the first time. He was different, she wasn't sure yet if that was a good or bad thing. "Where's Mac? Bud told me she was coming with you." There was a twinkle in her eye, the matchmaker in her that was planning to work overtime in getting her two friends together. Little did she know. Bud caught on and headed inside to find Mac and little AJ, chuckling at the surprise his wife was going to get. . .He hoped.

"She's here." Cracking a grin, he pointed towards the kitchen. "AJ hijacked her so she'd look at his pictures." Harm watched Harriet as she sat down and resumed feeding the twins. It was the fourth time he'd seen them, but he never got tired of the sight. In his minds eye he imagined Mac with the same, happy grin feeding their kids. Shaking his head, he brought himself out of his reverie when Mac and little AJ rushed passed them.

Laughing, Mac chased AJ through the backyard, pretending not to be able to grab him. "You're too fast, AJ!"

Harriet grinned, "You know, if I didn't know better, I say you have the look of a man in love."

Thankfully for Harm, the moment was broken by a pat on his shoulder. Turning around, he found Sturgis and Varese. "Hey, buddy!"

About two and a half hours later, when lunch was over and Harriet managed to put her three youngest to bed, the adults convened outside under a retractable awning over the back porch.

Harm and Sturgis stood together glancing at their significant others, who were having an apparently funny discussion. "You think they're talking about us?" Sturgis asked with a slight grimace.

"Ooooh yea." Harm nodded. "So she managed to warm the tin man's heart?" With a smirk, he turned and nudged his friend. "I bet your pop loves her."

"He does, just not as much as I do." Grabbing Harm's arm, he tugged him into the house and over to the kitchen table where the two sat down. "So, you and Mac. . .that's nice."

Harm paled slightly. "Okay, so it really _is_ that obvious? I thought Bud was screwing around." With a sigh, he took a long gulp of his beer then placed the empty in the recycling bin. "Yea. . .it is nice, very nice."

"So I guess you two had the talk?" Sturgis said more to himself than anything. The talk he was referring to was Mac telling Harm the truth about her feelings, that she was in love with him. And by the look of confusion on Harm's face, it was apparent that he'd overstepped some boundary. "I mean, have you told her? That you love her?"

"Yea, and she told me she loves me, too." It was sweet really, amongst the hell that was their trip in Canada, he finally managed to tell her what they both needed to hear. And he did love her, more and more each day if possible.

Sturgis grinned smugly. "Then I guess there is no point in holding my secret anymore. . .Years ago, the first case I worked with her, we were bumping heads a lot. Somehow we got around to talking about the two of you. . .and she let it slip that she was in love with you."

Harm's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "She told you that?"

"She didn't really want to tell me, it just slipped."

"And you never told me? Some friend you are." He teased, chuckling at the mock-hurt look Sturgis shot him. "Kidding. . .but maybe you should have told me, would have avoided a lot of heartache."

Sturgis chuckled. "Oh yea, tell you and then risk getting killed by a female Marine. Who, if the stories Bud told me are true, could probably dislodge my arm with a flick of her wrist."

"Oh, I've seen her in action, she could probably kill a man with her pinky." The two men shared a good natured chuckle when the person they were discussing walked in. "Speak of the devil."

Mac raised her eyebrow at him and shook her head. "Sorry to break up the boys club reunion, but your fiancé, Mr. Turner is wondering where my partner has whisked you off to." Sturgis stood and quickly moved out of the kitchen and out the door. "Ah, love."

Harm remained sitting on the chair by the table, drumming his fingers against the wooden top. He stood up only to have Mac purposely rub her body against his as she made her way to the fridge to grab another bottle of soda. "Playing with fire, Marine." He groaned, his voice was low, teasing and only made Mac want to tease him even more. With a wicked grin, she passed by him again, rubbing her body against his much slower than before. "Ugh, that's it." Turning, he took her in his arms fusing his mouth to hers in a deep passionate kiss. Her arms wrapped around his neck, holding his head close so she could deepen the kiss further.

The sound of someone clearing their throats brought them back to reality. Harm and Mac jumped apart as if they'd been burned. There, standing with an overly amused smirk was non-other than AJ Chegwidden. "Pigs must be flying." He said with a grin.

The next sound was a squeal from Harriet who stood with AJ, Jen and Bud. "Oh, my God! You're together!"

Sturgis and Varese chose that time to walk in together, finding Harm and Mac glancing at each other with a cheesy grin. "Well, I guess we don't have anything to hide anymore." Mac said, then threaded the fingers of her hand through Harm's. "Yea, we're together."

It never occurred to either of them how many people were pulling for the two of them being together, that included Chegwidden who then proceeded to tell them that he'd been waiting years for them to get their head out of their sixes. "I think you two were oblivious to each other." He said as they sat around in the living room as bad weather had brought the get together indoors.

"I wouldn't call it oblivious, I noticed Mac, I just didn't realize she harbored similar feelings." He chuckled slightly, shaking his head at the absurdity of it all, of how his friends were now grilling him over the if ands or buts about their relationship. "Besides, I was just worried of wrecking our friendship. . . I told myself that if we could just stay friends, I'd take that over not having her at all."

Jen grinned, remembering the first time she met Mac and how she and Harm seemed to have this spark between them. The evening she spent at Mac's apartment, she'd asked Chloe about the two of them, the girl had conceded that they loved each other, but just didn't know it. But now, it was apparent that the walls came down and things were right for her two favorite people. . . . . . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
froggy - Yer mind, outta de gutter. I am saving my good smut for a story I can't post here. ;) Ain't that a bitch? ;)

Britanny - Isn't it nice? Like they are learning to TALK through things. Well, it won't be nice for long. ;) Every relationship hits a bad argument, they are about to hit theirs.

Lgjgmeg - No betting! And it just MIGHT be Palmer! Muahahahaaaa! He's evil, he's cool, he's. . .well he's got a lotta flo, course JAG seemed to have forgotten about him stealing $$$ from Harm. NUts, really. Duh.

XBlue - Oye! Coño! Calm down! Breathe! Breathe:::breathed too much and passes out: Woah, envermind. Wow, I am in a weird mood tonight. ;) BTW - WRITE DARN YOU WRITE! Iwant stories, missy! Today::Taps foot: Else. . .else. . :thinks up a good threat: I'll ummm. . .yea! I will!

moonlight - Who do you think the bad guy is? I have nooooooo problem if you say it over here, you might be wrong. ;)

Ink - LOL! I CAN write smut, just not on here. . .I do that off of my site or group. Hehehehe. I am working on a good smut story, once it's done, I'll advertise. ;)

Harmfan - Hey! I wasn't too brutal! Sheesh! Ye a little faith!

Alix - Oooh DJE. I think hot as hell in Force Recon that Marine haircut :thud: And the bad dood is not from Temir or Steele or Levine. We've seen the last of them.


	7. The Killing Words

Okay people, repeat after me: CLIFF-HANGER. . .CLIFF-HANGER.

That's your warning for the chapter. ;)

Now, some of you are going to start your – "Neener neener neener" or  
"I told you so!" Or  
"I knew it! OMG!" and  
"I am so the bomb cos I like so knew that he was like the bad dude!" while tossing your hair. Followed by those sadly confused individuals who will go "Huh? Who's HE?"

And okay, fine, SOME of you were right, but like, do you really think I was going to come out and go. "Yo, you! You be totally rockin' aight?" No, I don't think so. I am too mean for that. Sheesh! Oh, did I mention? SEAT BELTS. Preferably those with a harness. You might want to put a helmet on, because this is seriously the most out of whack plot lines I've ever come up with. And this, my friends, is just the beginning. You want a hint! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE HINTS! Okay, just one think of "The Imposter" with a twist. ;)

Jackie, who, sadly, hasn't had sugar or coffee today. Yep, I am naturally hyper. I bet my parents pray thanks to God that there wasn't two of me. ;)

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, and anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please!

Part 7 – The Killing Words

"It's dangerous  
this game we play.  
You're killing me with words."  
Queensryche. "The Killing Words" Off of the Rage For Order LP.

September 15, 2005  
0230 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station

The moment she walked in through his apartment, Harm had noticed it, something wasn't right. She was distraught during dinner, his jokes, instead of being met by her laughter were only acknowledged by a small smile. Mac wasn't in the office all day, a case had taken her out of Falls Church and towards Bethesda. While there, she was going to drop by the doctor's office for a check up. And by the looks of things, that hadn't gone very good at all. "Mac, what is it?" Dinner was all he could take with this new, silent version of his girlfriend, Harm needed to know what happened and why she looked like the world had caved in on itself.

"Nothing, Harm. . .I'm just tired tonight, maybe I should just go home?" She made to stand, but Harm's hand on hers kept her there, he was vehement to let her go.

Mentioning that he was a changed man wasn't at all a lie. He had changed, for better, months of capture did that to him. And Harm was damned if he'd let her walk away like that without explanation. "I don't believe 'nothing' is going wrong, Mac. . . Whatever it is, you can tell me."

Mac released herself from his grasp and slowly made her way to the window in the living room. It was raining outside and the streets of DC were as desolate as could be. All day long the weather matched her mood. In the morning, when it was bright and sunny, she had hope. But, as she left Bethesda, the clouds rolled in – hope was gone. For the first time in a long time, Sarah MacKenzie felt utterly hopeless. "I saw Dr. Chen today at Bethesda."

Harm walked slowly across the apartment, settling himself on the coffee table so that he would be near her but not too close just in case. One of the things they'd learn was the fine art of giving space. But, he was itching to hold her, to stop her shoulders from being so slumped down in defeat. "From the looks of it, nothing good came from that appointment?"

She laughed without feeling, then choked on the sob that came from deep within. As Harm made his way to comfort her, Mac moved away bringing up a hand to stop him. "Don't. . .I can't. . .I can't tell you if you're touching me. . .I just. . can't." Truth was, she wanted him holding her, comforting her, telling her that it didn't matter that their dreams to have a baby together were gone. There wasn't even a 4 percent shot.

"Okay." Harm sat back down on the coffee table, his heart aching in ways that were unexplainable. He knew that this had something to do with her conceiving, a subject he was scared to death about touching with her. So, he'd purposely ignored it, but when they were together and saw a young couple with a child, he would notice the change in Mac. Harm would be lying if he said he wasn't curious as to what fatherhood was all about. It filled him with pride in the past to think of Mac, 'barefoot and pregnant' as the line goes, with a child they conceived out of love. But, after their conversation during the dining out and her unwillingness to brush the subject at all, he realized that he didn't need that whole package deal. Just being with her, even if it was just the two of them forever, was everything that he wanted and more. "Mac?"

"It's official, I can't have kids. . .at all. . ." Mac blurted out while she still had the nerve for it. She was more that mildly surprised that he didn't answer her at all, even if to interject that there were methods they could pursue. Maybe, he'd already given up? Turning slightly, she glared at him with an odd expression of disgust. "You're not going to say anything?"

Harm shook his head slightly. "I don't know what to say, Mac. . .I know you want kids, I know I would like to have them too. . .But, everything happens for a reason." Perhaps that wasn't the best way to word things?

"Everything happens for a reason?" She yelled at him in exasperation. Whatever she'd planned for his response, this wasn't it, it wasn't it at all. She was hoping he'd be supportive, that, for her sake, he'd remain pessimistic, assuring her that they'd try every avenue possible to conceive. But he didn't and, to Mac, his logic just didn't cut it. "Everything happens for a reason?. . . And what reason would it be for me not to be able to have children, Harm? Huh? Tell me!"

"Mac, calm down." He often found himself using kid gloves when it came to arguments with Mac. Though he had changed, the foot in the mouth problem seemed to be a permanent disease of his.

But, Mac was already on overdrive. "I know I've done horrible things in my past, but this. . .Jesus Christ can't I get a break?" She placed her hands on the windowsill, balancing herself as the overwhelming feeling to just break things passed through her mind. During her drive home, there was one thing, one stupid memory that was vehement in driving her insane. There was a reason for all of this, maybe it was a punishment from a higher power for the life she'd lost a lifetime ago. "I was pregnant once."

This time, Harm didn't sit on by, he was at her side in an instant. "Sarah?" But it was almost as if she didn't hear him, she was gripped in some trance.

"When I crashed, that night of my high school graduation. . . I was almost three months pregnant. I was confused and Chris was in jail, he was going to be locked up for five years. . . I was so drunk out of my mind and pissed off at the world to even think of being careful in my condition." She remembered, after waking in the hospital, the looks the nurses were giving her as if she had the plague or some sort of evil disease.

Absentmindedly her hands came to her abdomen and thoughts of the crash bombarded her psyche. 'Is my baby, okay?' An eighteen year old, Sarah Ragle asked as her scared eyes wandered the unfamiliar room. 'Uncle Matt, is my baby okay?' But, he didn't have to answer her, the look in his eyes was enough. "Apparently, after the crash, my body went into shock. . .and I miscarried."

Harm wrapped his arms around her, thankful that, this time, she wouldn't pull away from him. "I'm sorry, Sarah." Somehow, 'sorry' was the most petty word he could say. The woman that he loved was suffering, had suffered and all he could say was a simple 'I'm sorry.'

It was true, his need to right everything wrong in the world was never going to be pacified, but, at least, he _needed_ to right things in her world. As they held each other, at that particular moment, he remembered that Superman movie, where he spun around the world and turned back time to save Lois Lane. Right now, he wished he had the powers to turn back time all the way to Mac's conception and somehow, made sure that she'd wound up with a family deserving of her. It occurred to him that, if that were the case, they never would have met, but he'd sacrifice that, if it meant that she were happy. "Tell me what I can do." The words came out desperately, because he needed to know he could help her in some way, that something was salvageable.

Mac turned away from him again and Harm felt that instant separation. "Run. . .run away from me before you're the next casualty in my life." She glanced at him, with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Please, Harm. . .just get away from me. . .let me go."

Her voice, her eyes, the tears, it was too much for him. Deep within, Harm felt something gripping his heart, trying to straggle it from feeling, but it was no use. One thing was for sure, he wasn't giving up on her or on them, not for anything in the world. "I'm not running and you aren't either. . . We'll go through this, together, Mac. . ." She went to interrupt, but Harm stopped her. "I'm not going to let you go through this alone."

The want to believe him was smothered by the failures of her past. It was no secret that she had poor taste in men, save for Harm, but, sometimes, even when the right men had come along, she'd manage to sabotage their relationship was well. So, to Mac, it was only a matter of time before his interest did, indeed fade. "Until when?"

"What?"

"Until when? . . .Harm, I can't have babies, at all. . .I don't even have a four percent chance. . I can't carry a child, no invitro, no other funky scientific method. . .I can't _carry _a child." And that was the problem with it all, not the fact that she couldn't conceive, but the truth that she couldn't carry a child. More over, she couldn't carry _his_ child. "I wont do surrogacy, I refuse to put any woman though the pain of losing something they had a nine month bond with."

Harm understood, truthfully, out of all of the options he weighed, he wasn't too sure he wanted anyone else carrying his and Mac's child. "I wouldn't either. . . but we can adopt."

Mac shook her head. "And forever you would resent me because I couldn't have _your_ child, _your_ blood. . .I won't put you through that."

"Maybe, I want to be put through that. . . I don't care how it happens, Mac. . .Honestly, I don't care _if_ it happens. . .All I care about is being with you."

But Mac had heard enough, this couldn't be happening. "It's important for you to carry your father's name. . .And I am not going to deny you that." She headed towards the sofa, grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Harm arrived before she did, blocking the door with his larger frame. With tear filled eyes she looked up at him. "Harm, please, just let me go." The words came out in a whisper.

At once, his arms wrapped around her, tightly holding her smaller figure to his. Harm wasn't letting it end this way and he refused to let her go, not now, not ever. "I love you, Sarah. . .I don't know what I have to do to prove that, but I do."

"I love you too, Harm. . .That's why I don't want to put you through. . ." Her words cut short as his lips pressed onto her own. But, she didn't allow for it to escalate and instead, pushed Harm away. "No. . .You can't just fix things with a kiss. . .It doesn't work that way."

Harm stepped back from her, slightly angered. "I've never ever felt this way about someone!. . . I have this want, this. . .NEED to consume you to make you mine forever. . .to take away your pain, even the ones I didn't cause. . .I didn't feel that about Jordan or Annie. . .I sure as hell didn't feel like that about Renee, nor even Diane. . . Non of them come even close to what this is. . ." He waved a hand between the two of them, pausing slightly to get his bearings. Somehow, even the nightmares he was having weren't any worse than this. "And you know it scares the shit out of me that I need you this much . . If I feared losing you before. . .now, it's worse. . .And I want to be your hero and I want to fix things, but there are something I can't fix. . .There are some things about me you can't fix. . .And that's fine, because non of us are perfect so. . .so. . please, don't. . .don't destroy us over this."

"You don't know what this like Harm. . .You don't know what it's like to have a gift stripped away like this. . . I've always wanted to carry a child. . .To feel what Harriet did every time the baby kicked. To know that there was a life growing inside of me that you and I created out love, not some stupid promise." Mac said quietly, her arms wrapped around herself. "We made a promise. . .and I broke it."

Daring himself, Harm stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. "You didn't break it. . .And have you ever thought there _is_ a reason for all of this?" Tucking his hand under her chin he lifted her head up and looked her in the eye. "In the grand scheme of things, maybe there is a reason for this."

"What reason could their be?"

"I don't know. . .But, what I do know is that I love you. . .I am not going to stop loving you. . .You said you wouldn't let me walk away from us, I am not going to let you either." Without a moments hesitation, he kissed her again, gently, loving. Mac returned the kiss with earnest allowing for him to heal the pains she was feeling. In truth, even as much as she desired to have a child of her own, she wanted Harm before anything else. And it wasn't a means to settle, he wasn't the fall back plan. He was everything for her. Everything and so much more. In a quick move he managed to slip the purse off of her shoulder and toss it towards his sofa. As her lips parted from his Mac gave him an amused grin. "You're sneaky, Rabb."

"I don't want you to go, Mac. . .Understand this, I need you. . .And if you think you are putting me in some half life, you aren't." Grabbing her shoulders, Harm turned Mac until they were both facing the dinner table. "Now, I made a very nice chocolate cheesecake for a certain chocoholic I know."

Mac turned back to Harm and took his hand. "You know, you don't play fair." She left him by the table, then headed upwards towards his room. "I need to clean up a moment, okay?"

"Sure, yea." Harm breathed a sigh of relief when she disappeared into the bathroom. He knew this was going to happen, in fact, a slight part of him waited with baited breath for it. It wasn't any easier for him though, it wasn't him with the medical issues, if anything, it was worse because he couldn't do a damned thing about it. These past minutes had been a battle for him that left him drained and scared to death. He didn't want to lose her over this, over what he'd said or how he felt. Sure, he'd love to carry the Rabb name, but that wasn't going to happen unless it happened between him and _his_ Marine.

When Mac came out of the bathroom, Harm had set two cups of coffee and two plates of cheesecake over in the living room. She crossed the apartment and settled herself into his arms. For all the bravado, all the feelings to just pretend her outbreak didn't happen, she knew it would haunt them, and they didn't need a pink elephant in the room. She could count with both hands the amount of times she'd allowed herself to cry in front of others, all of the times she'd recovered or hid, but this time, this time, she needed to get it out.

Harm held her as she cried on his shoulder for the loss she felt, for all of the wrong things that had happened to her. Truthfully, he cried as well, all the while promising her that he'd never leave and that it would be okay. And it would, he believe that because he believed in them and knew she did too. When she was done, he wiped the tears from her eyes. "I think we'll save the cheesecake for tomorrow, you need to rest."

Mac nodded. "As long as you come with me. . .I feel safe when you lie next to me."

"Just get ready for bed, Mac. . .I'll clean up and join you in about ten minutes." He set off to clear the table and clean all of the plates and silverware. As he worked, he wasn't oblivious to her eyes on him. He felt the intensity of them, though not in a sexual way, it was mainly in admiration. After making sure the windows and doors were locked, Harm stripped down to his boxer briefs and slid in bed next to Mac. "I love you, Sarah."

"I love you, too." She sleepily said as his warm, comforting arms slid around her.

1310 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm strode purposefully through the bullpen carrying one single white rose which he'd stolen from the rose garden that had, out of the blue, started growing outside of JAG ops. In the morning, he'd woken up to an empty bed and a fresh pot of coffee. That was normal, it was understood that the other half would get up early in the morning and head home to get ready for the day. There was a note next to the pot sprawled in Mac's cursive. 'I'm sorry for ruining desert last night. I guess we still have to talk about all of that, but I promise not to freak out if you won't. How about we go through options tonight, over cheesecake? Love you, Mac.'

As he turned to head into Mac's office, he found it dark with the blinds drawn. That was odd, as far as he remembered, she didn't have to go anywhere today. Just the opposite, she had court in an hour and it wasn't like Mac to just not show up. Confused, he headed towards his office, walking in to find no note, nothing as to where Mac could be. Harm set this briefcase and cover on his desk, then reached over to grab the phone in order to call her cell phone. Halfway though dialing the numbers, Coates appeared at his door. "Morning Sir, the General would like to see you ASAP. . . He sounds urgent."

Urgent? Something about that word had him already thinking the worst. Harm literally felt the color drain from his face. "Is it about Mac, uh. .I mean, the Colonel?" How did he know? How did he sense it, that something was off keel?

Jen shook her head. "He didn't say, sir. . . Only mentioned that I should keep an eye out for you."

"I'll be right there, Coates." Harm took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. He was overacting, Mac was fine, probably just a little late. They didn't exactly have the world's best conversation last night, it was understandable for her to be a bit late, wasn't it? Out of their own volition, his fingers reached for the phone. Trying her cell had been a futile attempt. Her cell went straight to voicemail and home phone went to her answering machine. "She's fine, Rabb, don't be so melodramatic."

Still, something tugged at him as he made his way through the bullpen and straight into Creswell's office. The General was standing behind his desk with an expression that seemed though he'd recently lost someone close to him. "Harm, have a seat."

Now that couldn't be a good. When a CO addresses you by your first name, it's never a good sign. Stoically, Harm stood straight, his muscles tensing slightly at the odd look the General was giving him. "If it's all the same, I prefer to stand, sir."

"I need to ask you something. . .And it's important."

This was not going to be easy. Whatever people believed about Harm and Mac, the truth was that they were together. It may not have been discussed openly with him, but the looks, the conversation, the fact that the two happened to be super glued together was more than just a little Stockholm's syndrome of sorts. They loved each other, even a blind man could see that. Which is why this would be so difficult. In conversation with AJ Chegwidden, the two had discussed Harm and Mac and how the two seemed to miss more than connect. And now, another wrench was thrown into the works. He straightened himself, tried to remain stoic and more like a CO than a friend. Without preamble the words came out, "Who is Clark Palmer?"  
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
Wuchel - If you get busted for reading it at school it's not my fault! Just tell the teacher not to be so nosy. ;)

jtbwriter - Nope! No more guessing. Now question is, isn't it or is it Palmer? ;) Muahahaa

LgtJGMeg -Yep, they're dead, but, I can always create an enemy. Or bring peple back from the dead, or. ..:gasp: Maybe it isn't Palmer? ;)

Aserene - Yea AJ's line cracked me up when I wrote it.

alix - Need to e-mail me offlist since I can't type in urls here radiorox(at)bellsouth(dot)net

southernqt - Half right there! Close, very close. There will be no murder of Mac or Harm, but something else is going to happen.

Brittany - See! They made up! Course now there might be a problem. :)

Moonlight - Close, but your idea is a bit off. :D

Martini - Oh heads are out of their sixes but yea, ummm problems are ahead. ;)

nk - My pleasure!


	8. Who Is Clark Palmer?

Hey gang! Okay, a few things. 1- Harm is going to be a bit off. . .kilter in this chappie. Can't really blame him, it's a bit uncharacteristic. But he and Mac have finally gotten somewhere, they eluded Temir and Steele only to have something happen to her. It's understandable, he'll get into shape soon. 2- There is a story I am working on that would have taken place had JAG been renewed. It's a Harm and Mac story. Since it wasn't renewed, I WILL still post it, but when I am done with this one. Originally, I was going to post it directly after the season ender. I really really like that story. You'll get it. It's called "Return To Me."

Hmmm… dunno what else. Hang on, I guess. ;)

This story will be long, which, for you junkies will be a good thing. I have 76 pages written and keep getting ideas. ;) We might have a wedding at the end. ;) We'll see. Hehehe.

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina and anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please!

PART 8 – Who Is Clark Palmer?  
September 15, 2005  
1830 Zulu

JAG Headquarters

Falls Church, Virginia

'Who is Clark Palmer?' The words echoed in Harm's head, beating against his brains like some sort of jackhammer. He felt as though he'd been sucker punched as the pieces started to fit – Mac wasn't at work and he knew she had to be. So there was only one logical conclusion, Palmer had taken Mac. "Where's the Colonel, sir?" By now he was biting the inside of his cheek, willing himself not to cry. Out of all the things that have happened and the things that could have happened, this was, by far the worst. Temir, Levine, Steele, Ragle, Sadik, Tanveer, Coster, non of them knew how to really get to Harm and Mac, what they had were files and information without much depth. But Palmer, he was a work of art. Psychotic art, but art, nevertheless.

"That's what we're trying to find out." Creswell slid a see-thru, plastic bag towards Harm. Inside was a typed letter, as in, coming from a standard typewriter. The paper used was basic loose leaf with no watermarks, or any symbol of sorts to give an idea as to where it came from. And there, in smeared typewritten letters were the words: 'It took me so many years to finally see that the way to destroy good ol' Harmon Rabb was to use one Sarah MacKenzie. With much love, Clark Palmer.'

Below the words was a small black and white picture of Mac who seemed to be unconscious. A small, orange timestamp read, 'September 15, 2005 – 0845 EST.'

Harm literally fell into the chair as the weight of it all finally crashed around him. His ears kept tormenting him as he could practically hear Palmer's voice reciting that letter in a sing song voice. For a moment, he thought he was going to be sick. "Son of a b. . .damned son of a b!" The letter rumbled as Harm made a fist. His body shook from the anger as his eyes scanned the letter once more for a hint, a clue of sorts. There were non, at all. "Permission to search for the Colonel, sir."

Creswell stared blankly at the man, he didn't have any facts. He didn't ask any questions and was, as Admiral Chegwidden warned him, driven by emotions. "No."

But, Harm wasn't going to take that for an answer. Standing to his full height he slammed the bag on the desk. "Sir, I resigned my commission once to go after her. Be damn well certain I will do it again without hesitation."

"Commander, mind the tone you take with me and calm down." He was trying to remain impassive on it all, if only for the sake that he knew they had a history, it was clear one or the other would break over anything that went wrong, but he wasn't going to let Harm go off and get himself into trouble.

"Calm down? She's. . .my best friend in the whole world. . . She's everything to me and I am not going to let this bastard get away with this!"

"SIT THE HELL DOWN, COMMANDER!" Creswell wasn't the type to ever let those in his command run amuck. And it was apparent that in the Commanders current frame of mind, he wasn't really ready to play ball. He waited for Harm to sit back down and ignored the man's indignant look as he walked around the desk and took a seat next to him.

"It would be nice if you let me get in a word or two before you go ballistic on me. . .I've asked those involved to include you in their search. . . But we need information first." Leaning forward he grabbed the note and fingered it slightly, with a sigh he handed it over to Harm. "I might be a hardass but I am not a stupid hardass. . .And I am a Marine damnit. We, more than anyone, believe in not leaving our men _or_ women behind." He placed a hand on Harm's shoulder, an uncharacteristic response from him, but even in his short time in command, he was starting to see his people more like family. "I know you care for her a great deal. . .but running on emotions will only get you so far. . .You're a lawyer, Commander, a good one. Start thinking with the head of an investigator and not with the heart of a lover."

Harm's face blanched slightly. Jesus, was there anyone that didn't know they were together? Creswell's small, knowing smile, was the only response he got. Taking the note, he withdrew a slow, shaky breath. "Where was this found?"

"Apparently someone hand delivered it to JAG ops. I have Gunny Winthrop's security team going through all the tapes, seeing if the security camera got anything we can use. . .I only got this an hour ago. I opted not to call local police, they only seem to bumble our investigations." He saw the look on his officer's face and he figured, the best way to allow the man not to break down was to continue with facts and information. "Since I couldn't get in touch with you, I sent two of our guards to the Colonel's home. They knocked on the door, but no one answered. Her vehicle is still outside of her building complex. . .NCIS should be there within the hour, maybe you should meet up with them?" Without hesitation, Harm stood up not even bothering to come to attention or get final orders. As he turned to leave, he heard Creswell's voice. "Commander, take Commander's Roberts and Turner with you."

"Sir?" His face furled in confusion.

"I think you need all of the moral support that you can get."

Harm, once again, made to leave, then stopped and turned with his hand on the doorknob. "Sir, please keep this information between us for the time being. The Colonel and I went missing before and it. . .it affected people, a lot." Creswell nodded and soon, Harm went off in search of his two friends.

1900 Zulu

Georgetown

Bud and Sturgis glanced at each other, both offering a strange expression as Harm maneuvered his SUV through the city. He'd been silent the whole time over, ignoring his two friends as they mused over the Washington Nationals' road to the playoffs. They both found it rather odd, but chose not to say anything in light of how strange it was to have Harm practically demand them to join him. 'The General told me to take the two of you.' He said simply and offered no more information, only his complete and total silence.

It was probably a good thing that neither of them could read minds, if they had, they'd have heard the slue of curse words that would make even the most foul mouthed sailor blush. Harm's head was a ticking time bomb, one that was coming up with gross scenarios of what he would do to Palmer if he laid a hand on Mac. On the drive, those thoughts would vanish for thoughts of a different kind. 'You're being driven by emotions and those emotions are going to get us killed.' Mac had told them once, as they were evading the supposed KGusedtoB, in the search for his father. So he couldn't run on emotions. . .no emotions. . . Yea, right.

Chegwidden had told him something of the sort as well, when he had blindly run off to rescue Mac in Paraguay. And now, he was realizing it was all true. How foolish and ridiculous was it that the moment he heard the words 'Clark Palmer' he was one step away from running out the door and blindly searching. But searching for what? He hadn't even asked the questions that needed to be asked. He didn't even know where the note was found or where she was taken from.

With a sigh, he eased his SUV into a spot behind Mac's Corvette. Maybe this was just a dream? Another nightmare to add to his torment. Maybe he was going to wake up and find her warm body laying next to his? Gulping down the lump at his throat, he practically threw himself from the car, leaving Bud and Sturgis trying to catch up.

The ride up the elevator was a heated one. Harm was kicking himself for all of the investigative 'mistakes' he made. "Damnit." He cursed, slamming his head into the side wall. He hadn't even called Leavenworth. He hadn't even found out _if_ Clark Palmer was loose. Truthfully, after his final battle with the, self professed, _forensic artist, _he never really checked up on Palmer. What was that famous little term? Out of sight, out of mind? Maybe something's shouldn't be left out of mind.

Bud stared at Harm as though the man had lost his mind and in a brief moment before the elevator signaled it's arrival to Mac's floor he managed to ask, "Sir, what's happening?"

The three strode out of the elevator, moving in single file down the hallway, stopping outside of Mac's apartment. Should he go in, or shouldn't he? He had a key and she may very well be hurt in there. Sturgis brought a hand over and turned Harm to face him. He'd never seen his friend acting this oddly. With a fear, Harm let the word slip out. "Palmer." It was almost as if voicing it would make it that much more real. "Clark Palmer." Handing the plastic bag to Bud, he clenched his jaw, then made to try and enter Mac's apartment.

"NO!" Bud rapidly took the key away from him and stepped in front of his two colleagues. "Sir, remember once he wired your door. . .What if the Colonel is still in there?"

Harm's face furled in annoyance. Damnit, give another point to the emotionally driven Commander. He'd completely forgot about that, how Palmer had him bound to a chair with a charge set at the door. If it wasn't for Bud, he would have been blown to smithereens. "Jesus." His fingers shook as he slowly removed them from the door handle. "Call NCIS and tell them to bring over a bomb squad, Commander." Moving slowly away from the door, he urged Sturgis and Bud to do the same. "And stay back."

It was a good thing that the General had called NCIS to handle this. Harm hated DC police and their bumbling ways of handling things. Too many times the detective's so called 'skills' had damaged evidence, hidden things. Hell, once or twice they even planted things. As they stood there, Sturgis waited for Bud to finish his call and then, with a confused expression turned to Harm. "This might seem like an odd question. Then again, I haven't been at JAG as long as you guys. . .Who the hell is Clark Palmer?"

Ah, that was the question of the day, the one Harm hadn't answered when his CO asked. Though, he supposed, it was all there on his records somewhere and if it wasn't, he was sure Creswell would procure some way of getting it. "A nightmare." As he said those words, his dreams came back to haunt him. "Oh God." There had been something to them, a reason why they kept repeating mercilessly. Even talking to Mac about it hadn't helped, sure they died down some, but he still had them. And if Palmer had gotten to her, it would all make sense. The 'evil' version of himself in the dream wasn't him, it was Palmer, who had once used his artistic and forensic skills to become Harm for the day in order to murder a client. If Bud hadn't rescued him, he'd have killed a lot more people that day, including Mac.

Sturgis was looking at his friend as if he'd lost his mind. As Bud returned from calling both NCIS and the General, but handed the phone over to Harm who NCIS needed to speak with. So he chose another route to get information. "Bud, who's this Clark Palmer?"

Furling his brow, the young Lt. Commander recalled that Turner hadn't been aboard back then. Hence, he missed all of the _fun_ with Palmer and Harm. "He was a DSD agent. The Commander and I were near Twenty-Nine Palms on a case when a Marine helo crashed for unknown reasons. In the middle of it all we found a mix up with a UFO." He paused for a moment to gauge Sturgis' reaction, which was that of an unbelieving person. "Well, it's sort of true, Commander. . .Cept there were no little green men. Anyway, to make a long story short. Harm infiltrated this base that belonged to the Bradenhurst corporation which was just a name the DSD was hiding under. Palmer caught the Commander, who then escaped and gave the information he found to the higher ups. Turns out their UFO _did_ hit the Marine helo. . . As a result, Palmer lost his job and went underground."

Putting his hands on his head, Sturgis slowly massaged his temples. "Let me guess, he has a beef with Harm?" The younger man nodded and with a sigh Sturgis said under his breath, "UFOs, Marine helicopters and rogue agents. Things have never been quiet at ops, have they?"

Harm handed Bud back his cell phone, catching the end of the conversation he added in some of the finer points. "He has more than a just a _beef_ with me. Palmer's like a disease, one that just waits around until it finds the appropriate time to attack."

"Woah, woah, woah. . .Harm, I've known you for a long time. I've never, _ever_ heard you talking like this."

"He tried to kill me several times. The first was when I broke into the installation. The second, after he disappeared into thin air, he got into my apartment and knocked me out. Then he made some mask out of latex because he needed to kill a witness I was questioning. Bud and I stopped him. . ." Harm went through the rest of the instances one by one. He told them, well, mainly, Sturgis, about the first time Webb faked his death and Palmer had decided to go after Harm. 'Wilderness of Mirrors,' was the term Webb had used to describe how Harm would be living through life and, eventually, it did come back to haunt him. Palmer made to drive him crazy, making him believe he was seeing his dead father and nearly murdering his girlfriend, Jordan Parker. To top it all off, for Mac's wedding to Mic, he'd planted a knife in the gift Tiner had purchased for them. Then tried to have Harm murdered as they were trying to clear Marine Sergeant Krohn of his wife's death.

Letting out a low whistle, Sturgis shook his head. "Has anyone checked in with Leavenworth? I mean, you'd figure they'd know he escaped, right?"

Bud sighed. "The General is looking into that now."

After nearly fifteen minutes of discussion over Clark Palmer, the NCIS team arrived in the building headed by non-other than Special Agent Gibbs. Agents McGee, Dinozzo and Todd came in behind him, all dressed in the NCIS field jackets. Gibbs didn't bother with pleasantries, he knew, Harm still didn't like him, despite the fact that his hunch had probably saved the man from going to Leavenworth. "We have a bomb squad downstairs and I have a few other field agents working on evacuating the building. . .Rabb, according to Commander Roberts, MacKenzie might be in there?"

"We're not sure." He spat the words out, hating that they were wasting so much precious time. He should have been able to just bust through Mac's door and rescue her, like he did Jordan. But, Bud was right and Palmer was just too unpredictable. "This guy, he's good. . .I don't want to take a chance on Mac's life if she's in there."

It was odd seeing the normally stoic and tough Commander acting so oddly. The way he said his partner's name made Gibbs realize that he'd been right since the beginning, they were involved. "That's a good idea. You three should head out of the building as well."

"I'm not going anywhere and don't even try to get me out of your way." Harm warned giving even more validity to Gibbs' beliefs.

"Alright, just let us do our jobs." When he interviewed Mac about Harm, he'd noticed something in the woman, a hurt at not knowing a piece of her co-workers history. While the others had been shocked, Mac had been concerned and it wasn't a type of friendly concern, but that of a woman who hurt over a man she loved.

2030 Zulu

Location Unknown

Virginia

Swimming. If she had to give a word to describe the state of her head at the moment it was, swimming. Mac hadn't been hit over the head, the blinding pain a good whack on the skull could bring on wasn't whatever _this_ was. No, she felt like her brains were scattering, running away, not allowing her to put together one good, coherent thought. 'C. . .mon.' She said to herself, willing her mind to work enough for her to move her extremities, but that wasn't working either.

Mac tried to speed up her breathing, hoping that, somehow, it would get her adrenaline going, her mind working. And slowly, it did. The first thing she realized was that she couldn't open her eyes. No, that wasn't it. She _could_ open her eyes, but the reason she _couldn't_ see was because she was blindfolded. Next, she tried moving her arms, only to find that her hands were tied. . .no. . .cuffed behind her back with the metal of the cuffs biting into her skin.

Trying to move her legs, she found them to be either cuffed or tied as well. And that is when panic started to set in. 'How the hell did this happen?' She asked herself wondering if this was all a dream or if she was living a nightmare. Trying to sit up still proved to be too much for her swimming head, so, instead, she lay down on the metal surface. If she was a betting woman, she'd lay her money on her being locked inside some sort of van. 'Okay, MacKenzie, think. . .how did this happen?' It wasn't as if it mattered _how_ it happened, but, then again, if she remembered some detail then she could gauge who had her captive. There was something relieving about knowing at least that much.

'Let's see. . .you woke up at Harm's. Set the coffee, then headed home.' But that is where things started to get a bit fuzzy. Once she arrived at her apartment, a wave of depression had rocked her. She wasn't in the safety of Harm's arms anymore. She didn't have his words helping her through such a trying time. No, she was alone, and in a moment of self pity, Mac crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep. Upon waking up, she found she was late for work and dismissed the notion of calling in sick.

Then, as if he'd been able to read her mind, there was a knock at the door. Harm had sent her flowers, or so the card said. He'd sent her roses, three dozen to be correct. They were big, beautiful flowers with an aroma that was filling her apartment. Literally ten minutes after the courier had left, she'd started feeling. . .odd. Her body felt weak, almost as if she had no control over her extremities. And her mind, she couldn't keep a thought on anything. Her heart was thundering hard against her chest and, the only thing she could think of was reaching the phone to call Harm. Mac never made it, she tumbled to the ground and before she could try to pick herself up, her world went black.

What she didn't know, however, was that the roses weren't sent by Harm. And all of that rose fragrance, generated by a small vent inside of the vases, was mixed with a special chemical agent used to shut the body down for a certain period of time.

Feeling a sideways movement, Mac realized the van, or whatever vehicle she was in, had started to move. Maybe it was on the move the entire time that she was trying to get her body coherent again? The van hit a bump and her body hit a wall. She bit her lip, hoping to muffle a groan as the trip got worse and her body was batted around. Mac's head hit the side wall at least three times before the vehicle came to an abrupt stop.

With a muffled curse, the driver took a hold of a pair of binoculars and stared out onto the abandoned mill he was using as his 'batcave.' A group was surveying the site, testing the soil and, no doubt, looking to buy. This was not good. "Damnit, can't things _ever_ run smoothly?"

Mac stilled her body, breathing slowly as her mind tried to go through each and every file. She didn't know that voice, it hardly even sounded familiar. The person was definitely male, but, past that, she was drawing blacks. 'Damnit.' She cursed inwardly. 'Give me a sign.'

Grabbing a camera with a high powered lens, he took photos of the group, their cars, license plates and every other detail needed to find out who the people walking over his land were. He would take care of them, one way or another. He was determined for no one to find his hiding place. It was a smart move after all, hiding in plain sight. Hell, even the government did it why couldn't he?

2145 Zulu

Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

"All clear." Special Agent Davis Rollins said as he slipped out of the protective suit that he and his fellow bomb squad workers wore. "We searched the whole building and couldn't even find a pipe bomb." Entering Mac's apartment had been quite the difficult task. They'd spent a good amount of time slipping small cameras under the front door trying to find any device possible. Another small camera, mounted on a tiny remote control vehicle, was able to be inserted by an agent that had climbed to Mac's balcony and broken a small hole in a window, enough to fit the piece.

Finding that there was no device on the door, they allowed for the squad head in, hoping that Mac was still inside and alive. But when special agent Rollins stepped out with a grim look on his face, Harm didn't even need to hear the words. She was gone.

Gibbs nodded. "Thanks Davis." He patted the younger man on the back then turned to Harm who, just as he proposed, would not go away. "Rabb, you knew MacKenzie, I say you and I go in first. . .see what we can find."

"Sounds like a plan." Harm said with a soft voice as he entered Mac's apartment heading first towards the kitchen. At first look, nothing seemed out of place save for the dirty plate and half-empty coffee cup on the kitchen table. "Gibbs, have your men bag these. . ." One of the things he learned was that, sometimes, normal looking things served as clues.

Then again, sometimes, the best clues, were the big, bright and bold ones like the yellow roses on Mac's coffee table. With purpose he headed towards them, ignoring the odd look that Gibbs was giving him. "Found something?"

"The roses." He stared at them for a moment. Then, after yanking a pair of latex gloves from Gibbs, he grabbed the card from the coffee table and read it out loud. "Sarah, all my love, Harm." With anger, he dropped the card down as if he'd been scorched which got Gibbs' attention. "These aren't from me. . . I didn't send these."

Gibbs walked over to the table and, with gloved hands, spun the vase gently, trying to find some discernable sign. "Think maybe one of your friends might have sent it?"

Harm shrugged. Why would any of their friends send Mac something with his name on it without telling him first? Yes, they did have that argument at his place, but that didn't mean anyone knew. "Why would they put my name on it?"

As Gibbs raised the vase up, the slight movement had made the vent start to work again. With a sputter, a cloud of white spritzed into the air, flying directly onto Harm's face. "Shit. Back away!" He quickly covered up his mouth and nose with his jacket, backing away as he watched the little cloud hover in the air.

But, the residual chemical agent had other ideas. Even before Harm had a chance to take a step back, he'd inhaled. Almost immediately, his body started to feel the effects. He was slowly losing control of his body. The motor skills were shot to hell and he found himself tumbling downwards. His mind, he couldn't get that working either, at least, not in time to brace himself for the fall. "Gibbs. . ." He managed to choke out before his body solidly hit the floor.

Acting quickly, Gibbs held his breath and grabbed Harm by the underarms, pulling the tall Naval officer out of the apartment and into the hallway. He opened up Harm's collar, making sure he was getting enough air. Thankfully, he was still breathing. "Rabb? Commander Rabb, snap to!" He smacked Harm on the face a few times, trying to get the man to regain consciousness. "Damnit!" Glancing upwards he saw his team standing over them with a unified expression of confusion. "Kate, call an ambulance. . . Dinozzo, see if you can find us some gas masks. ." Glancing down at Harm, he frowned slightly. Who the hell had the Commander and Colonel pissed off to get them in this much hot water?

. . . . . . .  
AN: I don't watch NCIS. I've seen half of an episode or two, but I needed some people working the case. NCIS works for the moment, until Harm will need to go a bit higher up. ;)  
. . . . . .

NK - Valwhat! Yea I did warn you! So I am not mean! And keep your valwahtevers to yerself! ;)

Christina - All is forgiven! Congrats on the addition to the family:) And yep, gonna write after it ends. My brain won't let me sleep else I jot things down. :P

aserene - fatal, doubtful, kinda boring if Harm or Mac are dead. And you can grrr at me all you want, just make sure you get them rabisshot! ;)

LtjgMeg - Palmer is fun though but he has a side kick. ;) There ar a bunch of people on JAG that need to be offed - But I need Palmer at the moment, no attacking the man!

jaggurl - Yea, dramatic. At first I was going to ahve them have a HUUUUUUGE fight and make both Harm and Mac feel really guilty, but I figured the torture of Mac being taken was enough. ;)

Tina - Yea, TELL me about it. I've ignored her problem in stories, I chose this one not to because I had that "scene" written in a long time ago even before I realized this story would be the third of the series. Palmer is up to no good. . . A lot of no good. That's all I can say. The producers will sue me if I say more. ;)

Wuchel - Yep, and I think Palmer totally could pull off the hiding in plain sight. He's a fun villan!

southernqt - Preggers? Hmmm hasn't been decided. But, isn't that the most ridiculous crap ever? Would ahve been smarter if they would have decided to wait since Mac was "grieving" for Webb not that whole cop out! DPB shame on you!

carbygurl - Glad to keep you interested. No guesses? Boooooring! ;)

jtbwriter - Sneaky! Sneaky! That's all you could call me! Sneaky! Okay :sniffs: sneaky it is!

dansing - LOL! Yep, loved that bit about the rosegarden. I typed it up, stopped and cracked up. Sad really. I can go overboard with angst, but then I start getting ulcers. Learn to stop writing when you start sobbing over your own parts. Course that is just pms. LOL!

cbw - I thought so too. They get somewhere, talk about something serious then WOOSH! Which is why Harm is going to be out of sorts.

martini- Palmer isn't dead. In the actual show he's still in Leavenworth, stole a bunch of money and stuck it in some overseas account with Harm's name on it. Mind you, no one has bothered to check that a lowly Naval officer has so much flo in his account. Well, Okay, his stepdad is the VP for Chrysler, that excuses things. ;) - Sorry mindless rambling!

harmfan - LOL! Non, I didn't even realize. LOL! Lemme know if I do it again. And I'll be nice, normally when I find out something iritates someone I keep on doing it. Hehehe Muahahaha. I have pet peeves, a lot of them. Oh, I don't take offense at much. Sucks to be me really. LOL! Non. What a moron I is!

Lurkz - Hey, he's a fun bad guy and not a made up bad guy. I had too many of those already. Nice just to keep up with one. ;)


	9. The Game Begins

Thanks for the feedback on the story gang! I keep on being surprised that anyone is actually still reading. :)

There is a part in this chapter that amused me when I wrote it which is Mac's response to Palmer.

As for Dr. Halloren, I could have gone into more detail, but I doubt anyone wanted a longer outline as to how he managed to brainwash her. Sad really, Palmer is such a good bad guy, they should have used him a bit more. :P

Okay, Enjoy!

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina and anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please

PART 9 – The Game Begins

2154 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

It had been five minutes since the van had started moving again and already she was getting tossed about. 'Ugh, I am going to have a zillion bruises.' Mac thought as she tried to brace herself as best as one could while they were tied up. During the time when the van had stopped, she'd managed to check around and came to the sad conclusion that, she was alone. Things would have been a bit easier if Harm were with her. Harm. . .did he even know she was missing? After their conversation the night before, she wouldn't be surprised if he thought she was just skipping work. She had considered it after all.

But, after that, what then? When she didn't show up at his apartment for cheesecake and conversation, he'd notice and he'd go looking for her. Unfortunately, she still didn't know who her kidnapper was, if she did, then she could gauge how easy it would be for Harm or the authorities to locate her. Until then, the only thing in her mind was to find intel and try to escape. Now, that brought up a whole other set of question marks. Was she still in the States? Could she have been knocked out long enough for whoever it was to take her away? Checking her internal clock, she knew it was close to four thirty in the afternoon, but of what day?

All of her thoughts were shredded when the van came to an abrupt stop sending her against the back wall. Her shoulder hit with a hard thud and this time she couldn't conceal her groan. "Damnit!" She cursed.

That was when she heard him talk again. "Well, well, well, the Colonel is awake." Though she couldn't see, Mac could tell the man was smiling, the thought making her angry. "Hang tight back there, I'll come around and get you out."

Mac stood huddled against the wall, her shoulder screaming in pain. Hopefully it wasn't broken, she didn't need to add more misery to her life. Mentally cursing herself, she wondered what would have happened if she'd stayed unconscious. Would she have been better off? Maybe. Then again, some captors tossed unconscious victims about like rag dolls. No, it was better to be conscious. She heard the locks at the back of the van open and, through the bottom of the blinds, was able to see a little bit of light. Feeling the van dip down, she knew the person had climbed onto the back and was making his way towards her.

She braced herself, trying to find an opportunity to strike, but with her arms bound, there wasn't a chance. "Hey, hey, relax Colonel. I'm not gonna hurt you." Oddly enough, the man had soft, gentle hands. He didn't touch her inappropriately and didn't manhandle her. He simple helped her out of the van and down to the ground, cutting the rope at her legs so that should could walk freely.

The man slowly led her through the mill, taking care not to have her nick broken pipes and machinery. "Okay, there are steps here, we're going to take them nice and slow." He moved behind her, telling her when to lift her foot and when to ease it down. His hands were wrapped loosely around her wrists and he pushed her up from behind. It didn't take an entirely long time before they were walking down the metal catwalk and towards the room he'd prepared. Unlocking the door, he stepped in and switched on the light. With a smile, he pulled her in, walking Mac towards a chair where he sat her down. "Okay, Colonel. I am going to take the blindfold off and then the cuffs. I am not going to make any threats, I think you know that you'll be hurt if you try anything stupid. . . Now, say you'll behave."

"Yes." She ground out, swallowing hard in anticipation. Who had she pissed off now? A client? A residual terrorist from Sadik's organization? Maybe one from Temir's? No, that couldn't be because non of them would have taken _this_ much care with her. The person who captured her did so for one reason, she was a trophy of sorts - which could mean one of two things a) he wanted her for himself or b) was going to use her to get to someone else. With a cool knife at her temple, she felt the material of the blindfold give way. Mac's eyes were painfully bombarded by light making it a few moments where, from behind squinted eyes she could see who had taken her. Ah, there was her answer. She was going to be used to get to someone else. That someone else was Harmon Rabb Junior. "Clark Palmer." Mac said followed by a hard sigh. "I'd say it's nice to see you again, but. . ."

Smiling, he closed the knife and slid it in his pocket. "Hey, I understand if you don't have the same sentiments as I do for you." Mac's eyes were protesting to the light, for that matter, so was her head which was now pounding mercilessly. "Drugs still bothering you, huh? Well, let's fix that. I want you to be really comfortable." Palmer walked over to the small fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. Then he produced a small aspirin bottle from a small shelf and brought them to Mac. "I am going to put the aspirin in your mouth." He did so then let Mac take a long gulp from the bottle. Staring at her, he shook his head and frowned. Didn't they teach officers any manners? "Isn't there something you want to say?"

"Fuck you?" Mac said with a good amount of sarcasm then smiled slightly as Palmer chuckled. She was half expecting a slap, or some other form of reprimand. None of that came.

Instead, Palmer sat on the edge of the bed, facing Mac with a cheerful expression. "I know you have questions, Sarah. . .May I call you Sarah?"

"Colonel is fine." She ground out, her voice not lessening it's sarcastic edge.

Palmer grinned. "Good. Now, _Sarah._" He began, putting emphasis on her first name to denote that he was going to use it whether or not she wanted him to. "You're a beautiful woman. . .Rabb's been a fool not to have gone after you sooner." With a chuckle, he clapped his hands together. "He almost let you marry someone else. . .What kind of a moron does that?" Standing he began pacing around her, placing his hands on her shoulders and gently massaging them. "Ah, so tense. . . As was your conversation last night." With a frown, he walked around and stood right in front of her. "I am truly sorry you can't have children, Sarah. . .Really I am."

Mac bit the inside of her cheek. She wouldn't cry, not with this slime standing in front of her. "Shit happens."

"Yea, it does. . .Too bad Rabb couldn't get his act together sooner. . ." He resumed pacing, stopping just behind her. Leaning in, he whispered. "So is he any good?"

"That's non of your business."

Standing up, Palmer placed his hands behind his back and started to walk around her again. "See, it _is_ my business. Everything Harmy does is my business."

Harmy? Under any other circumstance she probably would have laughed, but now, all she wanted to do was rip his head off. "Leave him alone. . .You're out of Leavenworth. Just run, get the hell out of here and leave him alone!"

Stopping in front of her, he glanced down, then shook his head. "I'm afraid I can't do that. . . See, Harm has taken everything from me. He's taken my work, my money, my time, my energy and, my freedom." Gently, he brushed a hand over her cheek, his fingers moving towards her lips where they lingered. "And I am planning on taking as much as I can from him. . .Starting with you."

"Clark?" A female voice called from the door, startling both him and Mac. The woman, a blond with light colored eyes stepped closer into the room. She frowned slightly at the position she found Palmer in. His hand on Mac's face, his body just inches away from touching her own. "What the hell is going on?"

Palmer grinned. Women, they were all trouble, but, in order for all of this to work out, he_ needed_ that sort of trouble in his life. "Nothing, I was just getting acquainted with the Colonel here." Mac immediately caught the change in his tone. She wasn't _Sarah_ anymore, now she was back to being the _Colonel._ Interesting.

The woman walked up to Palmer, placing a hand on his shoulder as she leaned in to take a good look at Mac. "Not too acquainted I hope." She shook her head slightly. True, they couldn't pass as twins, but there was a slight resemblance between the two women.

Mac glanced up watching the two practically make out in front of her. 'Wow, some woman actually fell in love with Palmer?' The thought was slightly disgusting. Maybe _this _was the way out of her mess? If the woman would visit her without Palmer, Mac could always try to befriend her. It could work. But, with the deadly look the woman was shoot at her, that idea was slowly starting to dissipate.

2239 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

"C'mon, Harm. . .wake up buddy." Sturgis sat against the wall, next to Harm who was laying down and slowly starting to come to.

They can't found out much about the chemical agent, Gibbs would give it to his people to check up on. But, it was apparent that it put people into some sort of deep sleep. Bud was pacing, managing to annoy the hell out of Gibbs who was standing by, waiting for Harm to recover. The two had taken to the task of searching Mac's apartment. Bud had been there before, when they'd worked jointly on cases, because of Harm's accident, he'd offered.

It was odd walking into Mac's apartment and having to sift through personal things. But, it was better than allowing a bunch of people non of them knew digging through one of his friend's homes. Walking into the bedroom, he frowned when he saw the Polaroid's that was laying on the bed with a note. "Bastard." Bud spat, flipping through the pictures of Palmer dressing an unconscious Mac. He gave a couple of the pictures to Gibbs for evidence, the rest he pocketed in hopes that it would help Harm somehow.

The note was identical to the one Harm had received, with the same smeared writing because of using a typewriter with improper paper. 'It took me so many years to finally see that the way to destroy good ol' Harmon Rabb was to use one Sarah MacKenzie. With much love, Clark Palmer.' There were no hints in the riddle, nothing he could use to find where Palmer might have taken her. Then again, Palmer wasn't a normal criminal and with the amount of training the DSD gave the man, he wasn't stupid enough to give away his whereabouts.

Neither Gibbs nor Bud could find anything else in the apartment worth looking over. Things had been just as Mac had left them. Nothing was taken and there were no signs of a forced entry. The NCIS team had bagged and tagged the items on Mac's table and anything that looked as if it were recently used, one never knew where you could find a clue. There was one clear thing, Palmer wasn't working alone. Someone had to have taken the pictures.

Harm could hear the agents discussing things, but he couldn't get his brain working enough to turn their conversation into something discernable. For that matter, where the hell was he? Maintaining his thoughts on moving his body, he managed to flex the fingers of his right hand. 'Good. . .now. . .get up.' He thought, attempting to right himself only to have this complete feeling of exhaustion. Somehow, his mind started working overtime, when the words "Pictures" and "The Colonel" came up in the conversation. Trying once more, he was able to lift his head with a loud groan.

Sturgis pushed his head down, carefully placing it back to the ground. "Easy, buddy. . .take it easy."

"What the hell happened?" Harm cringed, the light of the hallway was making his headache that much worse. "I think I am going to be sick." He said, somehow managing not to puke his guts out.

With a sigh, he helped his friend sit up, leaning his back against one of the walls. "You got sprayed by some chemical. . .NCIS is trying to figure out what it was. The EMTs said you would be fine that your vitals were all in working order." He steadied Harm as he tried to come to his feet. "Jesus, Harm! When you two piss people off, you _really_ piss people off."

"You have no idea." He groaned, leaning against the wall as he worked on getting his bearings back. "Did they find anything?"

"Commander Roberts found pictures and the same note you have." Gibbs said, walking down the hall with Special Agent Kate Todd beside him. He showed Harm a picture similar to the one that was sent to JAG and frowned as the officer clenched his jaw.

Kate shook her head. No matter how many kidnappings they'd worked on, it was never easy. Seeing a man like Harm break down was probably the hardest and though he kept his emotions in check, she could see the pain in his eyes. "Commander, it's apparent that there's more than one person involved." She pointed at the picture. "Someone had to have taken that."

Harm nodded. "Are we done here?" He asked the two agents, receiving only nods as responses. "I'll be at headquarters if you need me." He slowly walked down the hallway with Sturgis helping him.

Kate and Gibbs exchanged a look. "I wasn't aware the Colonel and the Commander were. ." She trailed off with a smile. During Harm's investigation, she'd met both of them and then met Mac during a separate case. It was apparent that the two had some sort of link, she just never saw how deep it ran.

"Yea, yea. . .Let's wrap up here. I want to see what forensics was able to dig up." He headed down the hallway with Kate running up to catch up.

Standing in front of him, she placed a hand on his chest, stopping him from walking. "You feel guilty for going after him so hard that time, don't you?" He didn't answer, merely stared at the female agent as if she'd lost her mind. "Hey, I understand if you take a hard line on this case. I just want you to know, you have backup here."

Gibbs grinned. "Thanks Kate."

0120 Zulu  
Arlington, Virginia

Dr. Nicole Halloren was laying on her bed being ravaged with kisses by her lover, Clark Palmer. With a content sigh, she slid into his embrace, resting her head on his chest. "We've never made love that passionately before." She said, knowing that it all had to do with her lover laying down his plans and having them work for a change.

"Hmmm. . .it was great, wasn't it?" He rolled his eyes slightly, then tightened his grip on the woman. This wasn't all that bad, though there were times that playing the dutiful boyfriend was driving him insane. Still, he needed her and not for the basic sexual need. No, he needed her for something more spectacular - sex was just a bonus.

Dr. Halloren or Nikki, as she preferred to be called, was a therapist, a good one. Though, apparently, not good enough. At one point of her life, she had a longing to learn about the law. She'd even managed to practice for three years, before the whole dark side of law made her back out. Nikki wanted to help people, to fix their problems and that want brought her to Leavenworth.

It had been years since they first met in Leavenworth. After his last attempt to kill Harm went awry, Clark Palmer found himself in a state of depression that he'd never felt before. Being locked up was starting to get to him and seeing article upon article about Rabb's heroics was just sharpening up the claws of that monster he had inside.

To add to his torment, the money he'd been slowly placing into a secret bank account with Harm's name on it, was accumulating to a nice, hefty amount. A hefty amount that he couldn't touch unless he was on the outside. He'd considered, once or twice, to get one of his DSD buddies to help, but as there was no honor among thieves, he knew better than to trust anyone with such a large sum of money, especially since said sum had well passed six figures. So, in his depressed and self-deprivating state, they had sent for a therapist, one that would hopefully get him back on track. Dr. Halloren was sent in.

At first, he really didn't care about it all. What was the point of trying to cheer up a person who was going to be locked up for life? But, the moment that she walked in, Palmer's eccentric mind was running on possibilities. Possibilities on way to destroy Harmon Rabb. It was pathetic, really, he was almost like a junkie trying to get his latest fix. But he wasn't doing drugs, no, no, his only obsession was to nail the Navy lawyer that had crushed his career and he would do that, one way or the other. It was almost a blessing that Dr. Halloren had come when she had. For Palmer, God had placed her in his life for the sole purpose of revenge.

To say that she hated him at first, was an understatement. She'd read about his crimes and sought out to do her job with little emotional involvement. So, for weeks she did just that, working through Palmer's made up demons. And then, one day, he cracked. . .

November 16, 2001  
U.S. Disciplinary Barracks  
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

Clark Palmer sat in his cell with an old issue of the Navy Times. There, split between pages of a four page article, were pictures of Harmon Rabb junior. The report had been written in May, about the crazy flight and how he was trying to get back to his best friend's wedding. Another picture had caught his eye, one of Harm and Mac taken during a high profile case in Norfolk.

"She stayed with him." He said softly, his mind recalling perfectly the night he was surveying Harm's apartment. His partner, Sarah MacKenzie had stayed over to protect him. But, was there something more to the whole story? "There has to be." He remembered the look Mac gave him, when he'd dressed up as Harm and she'd thought he was sick. She'd reacted strangely to him calling her "Sarah." There was a look of surprise and, maybe even a little admiration that he'd used her real name. Since then, he'd learned that she preferred to be called Mac.

Oh, how about the time he'd sent that knife in Mac's wedding present? Rabb had all but ripped his head off for that move. Now that he thought about it, he didn't really show the ubiquitous concern over a good friend. No, it was more than that. . .Harmon Rabb _loved_ Sarah MacKenzie. "I'm such an idiot." He said gently, staring at the picture of the two more intently. The shrink, Jordan Parker was the wrong person to go after. Sure, no doubt losing that woman would have cost a good deal of hurt to Rabb. But, what if he'd lost his beloved partner? The one who he spent most of his time with? That's when it all clicked. He had to go after Sarah MacKenzie.

Step one, of course, was to get out of Leavenworth without being noticed. And there were measures to take, certain steps to ensure success. And those steps began with Dr. Halloren. Though she was a shrink, he could take her, could warp her mind, that was part of what he used to do after all.

So, that days session, he sat in the closed room waiting for the pretty blond to join him. Once she did, he was charming, all smiles and he would turn the conversation from his depression to her. "Are you married?" Palmer asked after he'd cleanly fielded a personal question that _she_ asked of _him_. She'd been trying to get him to talk about family and he'd given her a sob story about the woman that broke his heart and left him at the alter. It was all bullshit, but the fake, emotional conversation had blown some of the woman's walls away.

"Excuse me?" She chuckled slightly, cursing herself for even thinking of him as slightly charming. A day or two ago, she couldn't stand him, part of her loathed him. How was it that, suddenly, she was finding him attractive? 'No, Nikki, no. . .You're not attracted to him. He's just trying to screw with her mind.' Then why was it, that even after her little pep talk with herself, she still gave him the information he wanted? "Not that it's any of your business, but, I am a widow."

Palmer frowned, as if he actually cared. Well, he did care, just not about the pain she'd gone through. "My condolences, I didn't meant to bring up anything painful."

"It was a few years ago, I am over it." She took out a notepad and jotted a few things down, sitting in a way that Palmer couldn't look over the notes.

"You writing about me?" He tried to peak, but Dr. Halloren stood and backed away. "Do not come near me."

Hmmm. This wasn't quite how he wanted to charm her. "I won't hurt you. . .Believe me, everything you've heard is a lie."

"As is everything I've heard from every other prisoner I've spoken to." She shook her head and went back to her seat. "Mr. Palmer, you aren't the only prisoner claiming your innocence and I am not a fool."

Damnit, he was hoping things would be a bit smoother. With a sigh, he placed his head on the table. "No one believes me." Ah, but his whole dramatic act was starting to bother her, starting to break something and he could tell. He glanced up at her, mustering his best sad puppy dog look along with a few crocodile tears. "Why would you believe me? I am in here, you're out there. . .and if I am in here, I must have done something wrong, right?"

Dr. Halloren stared at him for a moment. Now this was _different_. She'd spoken to the prisoners who always said they didn't do it. Even some that were remorseful, but the looks the man was giving her, made her WANT to _believe._ "I used to be a lawyer once upon a time. . ." She trailed off, biting her lower lip uncharacteristically. "Tell me what happened."

So, he told her, with as much emotion as he could muster, the story of him and a 'rogue' JAG officer. "He just broke in, stole classified documents. . .you know? The type that if weren't kept secret could endanger our government. . .And _I_ was the one that ended up losing my job."

"And he's still a Naval Officer?" She asked, truly enthralled with his tale.

Palmer nodded. "Yea. . . later on I went to him, if only for us to talk and help clear my name. . .He didn't want to, so he had me put behind bars." He left out, of course, all of the juicy details – how he'd stalked Rabb, gone after his girlfriend, impersonated the man in order to get to a witness. "My only crime was that. . .in anger I tried to hurt him. . .As a result I am stuck here for life."

"I'll help you." And with that, the seeds had been planted in Dr. Halloren's mind. Little would she know that, about two years later, she'd be helping Palmer escape.. . .

August 20, 2003  
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

Clark Palmer didn't trust anyone at all with the money he'd managed to steal. Well, thaws until Dr. Halloren came along. Two years after they had met, he'd been able to twist every little thought she had. He could manipulate her in ways he never dreamed possible, all he had to do was occasionally profess his love.

Nikki had used the money in order to find a man that looked close enough to Palmer. It was probably the most difficult part of the plan, but at least, she'd be able to finally get to spend alone with Clark. The man, Victor Girilli, was given one hundred thousand dollars and a promise that he'd be let out as soon as the higher ups had figured the wasn't the real Palmer.

Now, how did they manage to change places? Victor Girilli had walked into Leavenworth that day pretending to be Palmer's lawyer along with Dr. Nicole Halloren, who, the staff knew was his shrink. They had brought the prisoner in, chaining him down to the table and then, as usual, the guard stepped out and turned his back to the them. Because of client privileges, there were no cameras in that room, no microphones or any other way to note that they'd managed to remove Palmer's cuffs and clothing which he exchanged with Girilli. Then, putting on fake glasses, a beard and a mustache, like those that Girilli had been wearing, former DSD Agent Clark Palmer, walked casually out of Leavenworth. . .

0131 Zulu  
Arlington, Virginia

As he lay in her bed, he recalled all of the events that led up to this moment. Everything was falling into place, slowly, but surely. And now that he had MacKenzie, it was just a little time before the real games could start. "Baby?"

Turning slightly, he smiled at Nikki, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Yea?"

"Do you find her attractive?" She was referring to Mac. Nikki didn't know why, but, there was something about the other woman that bothered her. Maybe her boyfriend was starting to fall for the pretty Marine Colonel?

"Yes, she is attractive, but I am not in love with her. . . I am, however, in love with you." He lied, it would be a bonus if he could somehow turn MacKenzie, though he doubted that would ever happen in his lifetime. But, he'd be lying if he said he'd never wondered what it would be like to have Mac, at least once. He twisted to the side and kissed Nikki deeply. "Get some sleep, we'll need it." With one final thought of Mac, he drifted into dream land.

. . . . . . . . .  
joanoa – Poor Palmer, he is such a nice guy! Harm is the bad guy! Baaad!. But, realy, I don't need Palmer to die at the moment. ;)

LtJGMeg – What a waste of a good nemesis, really. I mean, by now, they should have had him going after Harm again. Would have been one hell of an episode. Sheesh!

Cristina – NCIS is too CSIsh for me. I just really do not see the point of adding anpther investigative show to the collection OF investigative shows despite that it's the Navy/Marines, yadda yadda. I think the shows are super cool, the whole forensics side of it/investigations, etc . . But not my thing. Not sure what exactly my thing is though LOL!

Harmfan – Palmer as Mac? Dood, yer sick! Therapy! Ewww! Wow, talk about the nightmares I am gonna have tonight. :P :cringe and twitch:

Dansing – LOL! I try to update as much as possible sometimes, not possible. I don't have any story fully written, I usually have at least 7-9 parts written and the rest of the story outlined with conversations. Which, basically means, I know what will happen, I have most of the covjnersation just not the emotions, inner thoughts, etc. It's amusing though, if you try to read it it's something like. - Harm talks to Bud about so and so. – Idea – Have him ask about Jordan – conversation about Palmer going after her. - It's amusing, really.

Froggy – Craving updates? ;) You junkie you! 12 strep program!

Jtb – NCIS is good now, then will come another higher up person that will help a bit more. Followed by a Stake out of sorts. ;)

Aserene – They'll get back together and as long a syou had your shots, Grrr away! ;)


	10. Escape And Information

These are going to be slow this week, anticipate two postings probably. Very busy with work, I have about a thousand (no joke) clients to call about a product they ordered. And I have a zillion things to do around the house like finish fixing our kitchen and building a shed for the washer and dryer.

Hopefully, this week will FLYBY. I can't wait until Friday. Now cross your fingers that no political crap comes up or late breaking news or something. ;)

Have a Good Week!

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please

Part 10 – Escape And Information  
0125 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Coates had tried knocking on Harm's doorframe, but the Commander was too far gone in his thoughts to hear her. After arriving back with Bud and Sturgis, Harm had been on the phone off and on with NCIS and now, he was just sitting in his chair looking out the window. Coates would have normally been wrapping things up for the day, but after scuttlebutt had run through the rumor mill that was the office, she decided to stick around and help field any calls. So, she stepped into his office without permission, touching his shoulder and startling the both of them as Harm practically leapt out of his seat. "Sir? Are you alright?"

Harm glanced up at her and shook his head. "Have you heard?" She didn't answer him, but her look spoke volumes. "I feel the same way I did when she left with Webb two years ago. . .except this is worse. . ."

Jen had, somewhat, learned to keep her mouth shut during certain episodes of her life. But, this one, she couldn't do that, especially with a person that had saved her. "Sir. . .Harm. . .You'll find her. . .I know the Colonel is just as stubborn as you are, she knows you'll be looking for her. . . And as long as she knows that, she'll fight until you find her."

Something about that made him feel just a little bit better. Jen was right about that, both he and Mac were fighters and as long as they had a breath within them, they would fight. "Thanks Jen." He took a folder that she presented him with and opened it up to find the faxes sent from Leavenworth. Harm thumbed through the pages frowning as he glanced down at a picture that didn't help their current situation. "Damnit, he did it again."

"Who did what, sir?" Coates asked staring down at the pictures Harm was spreading across his desk. "Is this the man who took the Colonel?"

"No! Damnit!" Harm slammed his fist down onto the desk, ignoring the sudden influx of pain that was now radiating up his arm. "Son of a bitch!" Standing, he took the files and weaved his way through the bullpen with Coates hot on his heels. He knocked on the doorframe and stepped in without invitation. "General, sir. . .Leavenworth was wrong, _this_ isn't Palmer." He placed the folder on his desk and sighed. "He's done this before, had someone who looks like him stand in. . .This isn't him!"

Bud chose this moment to walk in as well holding his own folder full of Palmer information. "Sir, I took the liberty of finding our past information on Clark Palmer." He gave the information to the General who found a set of pictures that were similar to the ones Harm handed him, but not quite. Along with pictures from Leavenworth, there were Palmer's DSD files and identification. "That's everything I could dig up."

Cresswell looked through the details, shaking his head slightly. The folder and everything inside boasted that thick, big letters that clearly stated the documents were, "Classified? These are classified? How'd. . ."

"Not anymore, General." All three men glanced towards the door finding non other than Clayton Webb dressed in his typical three piece suit.

Harm stared at Webb and then over at Bud who informed him as to why the agent was there. "I am sorry if I overstepped a boundary, sirs. But, the CIA does have more information on Palmer than we do. . .Given that Mr. Webb was. . .ah. . ._friends _with the Colonel. . ." He trailed off, delicately choosing the right words to describe Mac and Webb's relationship. "And uh, friends with you too, Commander. . .He seemed like the right person to bring aboard."

"What have you found out, Clay?" Harm said, turning to shake the other mans hand. Somehow, he didn't feel that same resentment over the agent anymore, maybe it had to do because, in the end, he'd won. He shook his head of those thoughts, Mac would be pissed if she knew he was thinking about her as a trophy.

Clay sat down on one of the large leather chairs and sighed. Roberts had informed him of the kidnapping hours earlier and, since then, he'd been on the trail, so to speak. "I would love to say that Palmer's been out for a day or two, but I'm afraid that's not the case."

Harm's stomach knotted tightly as he dreaded an answer. "How long?"

"Since August of 2003." He said slowly, knowing full well that was way too much time to give Palmer for anything. If he'd managed to do so much in the past with just a few months, what the man could probably do in years would likely destroy them.

Moving to the edge of the chair, Harm placed his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. "Oh Jesus Christ. . .that's like a lifetime." He shivered slightly, ideas running through his head of things that Palmer was capable of. Then there was one great fear that was making him nauseous: what if he'd never see Mac again? What if Palmer hid her away forever leaving him to spend his life in search of her. And he would search for the rest of his life if need be. There was only one thing that he knew, "We have to find her and soon."

Clay agreed, part of him was still in love with the Marine Lt. Colonel and though, he knew, the better man had won her heart, he wasn't going to try and be petty about the whole thing. Harm, at one point, was a friend, one that had helped him in the past. This would be his way of righting the wrongs.

1120 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

The room was cold and dark, it was probably some sort of sick plan of Palmer's to keep her out of it for as long as possible. It would have worked had Mac's impeccable sense of timing ceased function, but it hadn't. "HELP!" She tried yelling for, what had to be the billionth time, but she knew that was futile. There was something about the room she was in, as if the walls were absorbing her screams making them unable to be heard.

Mac's body felt like pure lead. Her arms, that were still bound behind her back no longer had feeling. Perhaps the worst part was the growing need to relieve herself, which, she had made a silent oath, she would not give him the satisfaction of her soiling herself. "Damnit Palmer, if you're out there let me. . ." Her words died down as she heard the deadbolt outside being unlocked. Her eyes squinted slightly, adjusting to the light from the outside.

The woman walked in slowly, a smile graced her lips as she squatted in front of Mac. "I'm sorry that we forgot about you, Colonel." They really hadn't left her there on purpose, but in their passion, they'd gotten carried away. During the time she'd spent with Clark Palmer, Nikki had learned a thing or two, so she took care not to give Mac a moment of levity. "I am going to uncuff you." She went around and rifled through her jean pockets until she produced a key. "I am armed and I know you are a Marine, but if you try anything stupid, Clark will take care of your lover once and for all."

This was all going to be hell on her, she knew. Palmer was sick and twisted, mercifully, he'd never really been able to get at Harm, save for the few times he'd given her partner a good scare. But, this was entirely different, she knew she'd be used, but how was another question altogether. "I'll behave." She promised, it wouldn't be too farfetched for Palmer to off Harm because she'd done something wrong, though that wasn't the way he operated. Then again, maybe her playing along was all Palmer wanted? If she could do something to keep the man away from Harm, she would, damn the consequences.

The moment the cuffs came off, she felt her arms drape lifelessly to her sides. She breathed hard through the sudden pain, willing herself not to cry out as sharp pulses ran up and down her arms. The woman was now standing in front of her with an amused grin. There was something about her demeanor that told Mac this woman had never done this sort of thing before. "Ask me if you could get up, Colonel." Nikki liked this, her ability to control such a normally commanding woman.

Glancing up, Mac gritted her teeth knowing this was some sick way to screw her up mentally. "May I get up?"

"You may." Nikki said, pointing a 9mm towards Mac as she slowly got up. "I am sure you need to use the restroom as well, Colonel? It's to your left, I'll wait here."

Mac shuffled through the room, barreling into the small table as she worked on getting her footing back. This was the degrading part, acting like an invalid in front of a woman who was toying with her like a worm on a string. In the bathroom, she closed the door, surprised that Nikki had allowed her that moment of privacy. Looking around the room, she soon saw why. The window that was once there, had been welded shut. Though she hadn't had the chance to inspect her confines, she figured that the main room's windows were also permanently closed. With a long, defeated sigh, she tended to her needs, glancing around as she tried to find _something_ she could use to disable the woman outside.

"Clark and I left a toothbrush and some paste in there, Colonel. We really do not want you to think we're mistreating you."

"Heaven's no." Mac sarcastically yelled back. She stared at the toothbrush and the paste. Unscrewing the cap she then brought it to her nose, examining it against any type of chemical Palmer might have used. It seemed fine, so she took her time, meticulously brushing her teeth, anything to give her just a few moments to formulate a plan. And there, through the reflection in the mirror, she got an opening. Leaving the water running as a backdrop to ward against noises, she tip toed to the bathtub and stood on it's edge. Carefully, she pulled out the shower curtain rod. Holding on to the side of the wall, she brought herself down, then shut off the water. "Batter up, Bitch." She said under her breath, then opened the door.

Nikki was standing there, wicked smile on her face and the 9mm pointed at Mac, but her finger wasn't on the trigger. The Marine hid the rod behind the door as she slowly came out. "Oh, hurry up, Colonel, you and I need to. . ." The woman didn't have a chance to get another word out as Mac quickly took the rod and thrust it into Nikki's midsection. Not used to combat, she couldn't protect herself from the blow or the pain and ended up dropping the 9mm. Mac would have run out of the door and never looked back, but at some point, probably when she was in the bathroom, the door had been locked with the deadbolt. She yanked the door knob, but it would not budge. "Damnit!"

Mac dove for the weapon and dropped the rod to the side. "Get up." She said, pointing the pistol where Nikki lay on the ground. "I said, GET UP." She yelled in her best DI voice, not even given the woman a chance to catch her breath. The other woman stood, slightly hunched over as the Marine felt through her pockets and produced a key. "Sorry about this." With one hard swoop, she belted the woman on the side of the head with the gun, then made for the door. Oddly enough, the first key she used was the right one. "Yes!"

She spilled out of the room then stopped for a moment to gauge her surroundings. "Holy shit." Mac said, after taking a deep breath. They had her held in a plant of sorts, maybe a foundry? Looking downward, she got a slight sense of vertigo as the catwalk was the type made out of mesh, with holes that you could use to stare downward. "Woah, c'mon Marine." Holding on to the railing, she got her bearings, then turned to lock the door to her cell.

But, she should have just run as fast as she could. When she turned around, Palmer was waiting. "Trying to escape, Sarah? . . .Ooof!" Marines, especially this female one, were just a bit too quick for his taste. In a movement, she'd kicked him, sending him to the ground on his back. Attempting to save her life, Mac took a shot at Palmer, only to find the gun had no bullets. "Surprised? Did you think I'd let that bitch in there have a loaded weapon? I am not stupid."

Mac tossed the weapon at him, hitting Palmer directly over his right eye. She turned and ran down the catwalk, sprinting until she reached the steps. She was more than half way down the steps when she heard Palmer running down the catwalk. She turned, only to gauge how far he was, but the movement caught her delicate muscles off guard. Without warning, her legs gave way, sending her tumbling down the rest of the steps until she reached the bottom and her body hit ground with a hard thud.

0220 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

It was well past quitting time, still, five certain individuals sat in the conference room. There were papers spread all over the table, some in piles, some singly placed in front of one of the individuals who was picked to go over that particular set of information. There were also pictures, a lot of pictures. The JAG cameras had, indeed, gotten a shot of the person who'd delivered the note from Palmer. It was a woman, that much they knew, but no one, not even the CIA photo experts, could get a clear shot of her face.

"Yes, I want those details faxed to JAG, yesterday, am I clear?" Clayton Webb stood near the bookshelves, barking orders into his phone, wishing that he could have the control the military did. The CO said, 'jump' and the subordinates would do as told. With the CIA, however, many times orders had to be repeated over and over again. "You already HAVE the number! I am giving you two minutes to get that information faxed or your ass is grass." He shut the flip of his phone then stuffed it back into his pant pocket.

Harm stared up at the man, slightly confused as to why he was helping this much. "You look well, Webb." He gauged that the wounds sustained when searching, the first time, for the Aurora's were as bad as he thought. No doubt, the man could have died, but maybe the extent of the wounds was just a ruse?

Webb shrugged and settled himself next to Harm. "I heal fast, what can I say?"

"That maybe the wounds weren't as bad as I thought they were?"

"There is that." Clay grabbed his, now cold, coffee and took a long sip. With a sigh he turned fully to Harm and smirked. "Thank you, for saving me, Harm. . .and for Paraguay too."

Okay, now _this_ had Harm slightly worried. When the hell did Clay ever apologize or thank someone? Maybe along with the treatment at the hospital they'd given him a heart? Or better yet, taken that stick out of his ass? "Who the hell are you and what have you done to Clayton Webb?"

He held up his hands defensively, chuckling slightly. "Hey, can't a guy be appreciative?"

"Sure, but with you, it usually comes with a set of conditions, some, that usually have me or my partner going though hoops for you." Apart from Webb being. . . well, Webb, Harm couldn't ever figure what the hell Mac saw in the spy. James Bond/Bond Girl syndrome, maybe? Hadn't their collection of near fatal excursions taught her not to trust the man?

Webb sighed, he hated admitting emotions nearly as much as Harm did, "Look, Rabb. . . I know, after the hell I put the two of you through that I am not your favorite person."

"Helluva understatement, Webb."

He ignored Harm's sarcasm and took another breath. "You saved my ass, and I'll admit it, I _hate_ that you and Sarah are together. I hate it with a passion you'll never comprehend." Oh, Harm could comprehend, alright, it was the same hatred he harbored when his secret love and the spy had their. . .thing. "But, I do know when I've lost and I do know how to be grateful for you helping me out, okay?" Leaning in, he got close enough so only Harm could hear. "I loved her once, like I haven't loved anyone before. . But, I see that I was loving her for the wrong reasons. I guess you could say, I was loving the wrong woman. . .In any case, because of tat, I don't want any harm to come to her, especially from Palmer who is _both_ our enemy."

Harm bit his lower lip, relenting slightly on any brash comments. "I appreciate all of the help, Clay. . . I just don't want this to come with some sort of price that either of us will have to pay in the long run."

"It won't be, I promise. . . I. . ." The ringing of his cellphone brought his attention away from the Commander and onto the semi-competent agent on the line. "What? Yes. . .yes. Commander Roberts, can you go get the fax?"

"I'll get it." Both Harm and Bud stood, the younger man glancing over at his superior with an odd look on his face.

Bud nodded. "How about we both go , sir? I need a refill of coffee, anyone else in need?" The three other men, Sturgis, Webb and Creswell were currently in no need for extra java.

Harm and Bud headed out of the room, the older of the two stopping slightly to regard the Lt. Commander. "You think I need a baby, sitter, Bud?"

"With all due respect. . . yes." With a half-grin, Bud looked up at his friend. "And there is something you need to see. . .follow me, sir." They walked through the hall and took the stairs down to the JAG bullpen. Harm followed Bud into his office, closing the door behind them. With a sigh, Bud pulled open a drawer and asked Harm to take a seat. "I found these at the Colonel's apartment. . ." Bud placed the photos into Harm's hand with a look of disgust. "Special Agent Gibbs doesn't know I have these. . .You probably shouldn't see them but. . ." He partly didn't know why he took the pictures, they were evidence, something that shouldn't be taken. Bud also knew what sort of damage this would probably do to Harm's delicate emotions. But, he couldn't lie to his friend that way, especially knowing how much Mac meant to Harm.

His hands were shaking as he shuffled through the photographs of Palmer with Mac. Harm took a deep breath, trying to maintain his current mantra: treat this as any other case. Yea, right! "Bastard."

"Sir, I don't think he. . .uh. ._did_ something to her. . . I think he is just trying to screw with your mind." At least he prayed that Palmer didn't physically hurt Mac. Mercifully, they hadn't worked on too many rape cases, but seeing how it affected people, Bud wasn't sure he wouldn't crack himself. Reaching over, he took the photos away from Harm who shot him a look that would kill. "As a friend, Harm, I don't want you driving yourself crazy with these." He sat on the guest chair next to his friend, placing a hand on Harm's shoulder, which was brushed away.

Harm shook his head, taking a breath as he willed himself to stay impartial, but it was too much, and trying to remain strong was killing him. He bit his lower lip, but the tears still came down, his body shuttering as he allowed himself to break down. "Damnit. . . damnit."

Bud placed a soothing hand on his friend's shoulder, squeezing gently as he held back his own tears. Harm never broke down, in fact, he'd never seen him cry, ever. "He's tried to get to you so many times. I don't know why any of us never thought to keep an eye on him."

"No, we didn't. . .and now he found the perfect way to destroy me." He brushed away the tears and took a deep breath. "He went after Jordan twice. . . And both of those times, I thanked God that he didn't go after Mac."

The psychiatrist wasn't a woman that Bud ever thought was 'the one' for Harm. Sure, he seemed happy, but there was a look he shared with the other woman in his life that spoke volumes. Not to mention, Harriet kept pointing out time and time again how 'good' Harm and Mac looked 'together.' "You didn't love Jordan or Annie or Renee, did you?" He was getting personal, more than he ever would.

How was it that everyone saw through his 'love' for other women? "Annie, I fell for years ago, the woman I dated wasn't the same carefree woman I knew once upon a time. . .Jordan was special and Renee. . ." He trailed off, not wanting to say the words or admit to the fact that Renee was just entertainment, a method of payback for Mac's being with Mic. Payback that almost blew up in his face. "Non of them hold a candle to Mac. . I've never felt this way before in my life, Bud. . .I don't think I ever will, ever again. . . I thought I knew about love, but I didn't, not until we got together. . . I can't loose her, Bud, I just. . .just can't."

"We won't let you." Bud assured, vowing not to help out as much as he could. From the semi-silent bullpen, he could hear the ring of the fax and remembered what they had headed downstairs for. "I'm going to go get the fax." Standing, he opened the door and headed through the bullpen to find the fax machine. Another page from the CIA was getting faxed through. He reached into the basket and pulled out the information that had been faxed previously. There was a list of names, people that had gone to visit Palmer during his stay in Leavenworth. Specifically, they were looking for the dates closest to the time he'd switched places with someone else. There, at the bottom of the list were two people – Dr. Nicole Halloren and, a lawyer, Victor Girilli.  
. . . . . . . . . .  
Brittany - You might be onto something there. ;)

Ink - I wish I could post everyday, but life gets in the way. :( And yea, you'll get a bit more of Mac's sarcasm. ;)

LtJG - LOL! You kill him and now yu'll reuse him! Sheesh! Poor guy. ;)

TomcatGM - Glad your sticking around for it. :) JAG has wasted a lot of good story lines, unfortunately. These last two seasons Boooooooring!

NK - Yep, life tends to do that, doesn't it? ;0 Yea, I thought using 'Harmy' would be amusing. Palmer is such a good bad guy, makes you all warm and fuzzy inside. LOL!

Carby - It amuses me that people got into this one. Is it Palmer? Maybe, you lot are Palmer junkies! ;)

Harmfan - Were there any non's in here? You'll be my non finder! LOL! ;) Palmer's girlfriend is a blond, though with a few tricks, one never knows who she'll end up looking like. ;)

Froggy - Oh Yea! I like that program. How's Harm Clone doing? I had to take mine in the other day, his chip went nuts and all he could do is sit on the sofa pretending it was a tomcat. :Shakes head: nutty really.

JTB - I'm bad? Well, yea, so? ;P She tried to get out, but her limbs are a bit out of it, don't worry at this moment Palmer will keep his hands to himself, Mac's too valuable for him to hurt her.

joanoa - Yea, palmer is a bad guy, but a good bad guy. No death at the moment, still. Lots more story to come!

Cristina - I loved Mark Harmon, "Deliberate Stranger", "Summer School." He's very versitile and only recently has been taken seriously, which sucks. He did a great Bundy. Did you see the show a few weeks back that one of the crew calls him about him going around driving a Yellow VW Bug? HE goes "Do I look like someone that would drivea Yellow VW Bug?" The really amusing part was that he did when he played Ted Bundy in the "Deliberate Stranger" LOL!

XBlue - Ummm, the bomb shelter might not work. / And the straps. . . I cut them, I thought you needed excitement. And HELLO, story? updates? Does Calix need a kick in the six er something?

aserene - Scary really, someone loving the man. :shivers: I think he has the power to turn just about anyone given the right amout of time, which is what he had. ;)

Mac - Not sure what story you are reading, there girl? The "nice" side of Palmer was him fabricating a lie to make the Dr. chic believe him and help him get out of jail. Re-read it. ;)


	11. What Now?

Part 11 – What Now?

1145 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

"Damnit!" The white sink currently sported little red splatters on it's edge and even some in the very center. On it's side, where one would normally put the soap, sat a bottle of Stolichnaya with it's cap open welcoming whoever wanted to partake. Palmer stood in the bathroom to Mac's room with a needle and thread in his hand. He stared into the mirror and then slid the needle through his skin. "I told you. . ." He grunted as he meticulously worked on sewing up the gash that a certain Marine Lt. Colonel had gifted him with. "To not come in here, to leave the woman alone!"

Nikki paled slightly. So this was another one of the 'tricks' Palmer knew? The art of self-repair? "I'm sorry, Clark. . .I just. . .wanted to know what it was like."

Raising his right brow, and wincing because of the sharp pain, he glanced at his 'girlfriend' though the mirror. Blood was seeping through the wound, down his face and into his eye. "What it was like? What are you talking about?"

"That." She said, pointing a finger towards where Mac's unconscious form was now laying in bed, cuffed to the frame. "I wanted to know what it was like to toy with her. To let her know who was boss." Even as she said the words, Nikki felt herself slipping. When the hell had she become like this? Was she turning into some sort of monster? No, it couldn't be, because Harmon Rabb Junior and Sarah MacKenzie were the two that damned her lover, not the other way around. Still, she couldn't help feel a bit evil, dirty even. And yet, part of her liked what she was becoming because, for those precious moments that she was toying with MacKenzie, it felt good. Power was good. And what was it they said about power? – Absolute power, corrupts absolutely? "You think it will work?"

"Oh yea." Palmer chuckled, he knew it wouldn't be too long before she got in the game. He didn't know what kind of shrink she was before he met her, but at the moment, she was probably the one in the need of some couch time. "With MacKenzie passed out as long as she was, it gave us time to get everything we need." He wiped the blood from his eye, then resumed the sewing with a few muffled courses and swigs of vodka. When he was done, he ripped open a large bandage and placed it to cover the wound. "It'll do." He said, studying himself, thank God he would be in hiding during the next phase of the plan.

Quickly, he cleaned up the basin, grabbing the bottle of vodka. Passing by Nikki, he stopped and gave her a soft, seemingly loving kiss. "Watch and learn." With a wicked grin and a twinkle in his eye, he headed across the room and towards the unconscious Marine. Grabbing the chair Mac was formerly tied to he placed it in front of the bed where he sat. Too bad he wasn't alone, not that he would do anything if he was, but he wanted to admire the Colonel's figure without jealous eyes being cast to him. She was an incredible woman and such a woman was an asset to men like him.

Gently, without waking her, Palmer opened Mac's mouth and poured the clear, alcoholic liquid. It took just four seconds, but soon Mac was choking on the liquid, attempting to sit up, but she couldn't. "ST-OP!" She coughed out, cursing herself for swallowing some of the offending liquid. There was still more in her mouth, one that she tried to spit away, but Palmer shut her mouth, making her swallow. Instantly, it was like being with Frank Coster again the night he'd kidnapped her and forced her to drink vodka so that she could be 'free.'

Tears streamed down her face from the coughing fit and the more she tried to sit up, the more her wrists hurt. Why was that? Getting her bearings, Mac slowly started to realize one little detail, she was laying in a bed, with her wrists bound to the frame. Palmer grinned, he liked Mac, she was quick and spunky, others would have started some meaningless blubber, a way to get the mad man to stop hurting them. But Mac sunk back into her Marine façade, any trace of fear could only be seen if you looked directly into her eyes. "I am sorry, Colonel. . .but you looked like you needed to wet your whistle."

Mac glared at him. "Yep, I needed that. Hopefully I'll now pass out and not have to see your ugly mug again." Again she braced herself for some repercussion, but it didn't come. Damnit, why didn't he show any emotion? It was like the man was a robot. Taking a good look at Palmer, she spied the large bandage and the blood seeping through the middle. "Hmmm. . .Gift from your girlfriend?"

"You're just a laugh a minute, aren't you, Colonel?" He replaced the cap on the bottle and placed it on the table. "Had to stitch myself up if you must know. . . But, I'll be fine."

Shrugging as best as one could with their wrists bound, Mac grimaced. "Damn and here I thought I'd killed you. Better luck next time, huh?"

Palmer just chuckled. He really, really, liked Mac. "You know? This insubordination of yours, a way to have me lose it and show some emotion, maybe let my guard down? It's not working." He sat back on the chair, wishing he could touch her, if only to see what she felt like. Glancing towards Nikki, he found her standing there with an approving grin. "But, I am finding it amusing." He stated, turning back to Mac.

"I thought you were going to untie me." At least, that is what Nikki had said, wasn't it? That if she'd behaved she'd be untied? There probably wasn't a chance in hell that it would happen now, but she had to give it a try. "At least, that was the agreement."

Reaching into his pockets, Palmer fished out a set of keys. "Honey, could you please point the gun at the Colonel." Glancing at Mac he grinned. "This time it is loaded." He worked his time, slowly removing each cuff, reveling in the slight feel of Mac beneath him. If he'd have turned around, he would have seen Nikki Halloren seething. He helped Mac sit up as the small amount of vodka in her system was already starting to make her feel sick. "Now, if you try something and you don't make it out of here, and one of us remains alive, Rabb is dead and you can take that to the bank."

Mac nodded. This was going to be hell on her, especially when freedom was so near. Damn her legs for giving out and damn Palmer for his tricks and that stupid girlfriend of his. Couldn't she see how evil he was? "I'll behave." She promised again, this time meaning to do just that until she found a real way to get out of this mess. "Just, please, I need to use the head." When she was granted permission, Mac literally bolted across the room, coming to her knees in front of the head where she retched up all of the alcohol he'd poured down her throat.

1150 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North Of Union Station

The smell of coffee was enough to wake anyone out of their slumber and after two pots had been made, it seemed the aroma would never go away. On the sofa sat one Harmon Rabb Junior, his coffee table covered in papers and pictures which he'd studied endlessly through the night. 'I'm taking you home, Commander. I want you to get some rest, that's an order.' Creswell had said once the fax that Webb's intel specialist sent, had reached the JAG Conference table. . .

It was a long list of the people that had visited Palmer during his stay at Leavenworth, but was too late in the evening to start and investigation on them all, so some had to be left for the morning, when Webb could put more of his resources to work. Harm barely noticed that twice he'd nodded off as they all meticulously went over the information.

Sturgis glanced up at Bud, then shifted his gaze over to Harm who looked about to pass out. "Bud, it's very late, you have a wife and kids to go home to." He'd said, in hopes that all of them could head off and get some shut eye. It's not that he didn't want to look for Mac, quite the contrary, but they would be sharper, catch more details if their brains rested.

Bud glanced at Harm and then towards Sturgis. "Sir, I am going to stay here and help out. . ."

"It's an order Commander." Sturgis prompted, then turned his gaze to Creswell who nodded and gave the same treatment to Harm.

The ride home had been odd. Harm and Gordon had never really had much to talk about. Maybe it was the whole Marine/Navy thing? Maybe he was just missing AJ? Whatever it was, it bothered both men and the silence grew so thick it could have been cut with a knife. But, the Marine was the one that truly didn't like awkward silences. Harm, on the other hand, after the last couple of disastrous years with a certain female Lt. Colonel, had actually gotten used to the tension. "Harm, may I call you Harm?" He got an answer in the form of a shrug as the Commander continued to stare out into the city. "I am sorry for yelling at you earlier. I know it couldn't have helped your mental state. And I hate to say this, but you need to treat this like any other case."

"I know, General." Harm responded with a tired and broken voice. "I've been telling myself the same thing."

Creswell nodded. "After hours, you can call me Biff." He chuckled slightly at the look on Harms face. "I know you and the Colonel have been curious about that name since you heard AJ say it. . .but that information is classified."

Harm smiled slightly, a welcomed sight for his CO. Then, just as quickly, it faded and that broken look took form. "Sir, Palmer is. . . A nightmare."

"I read the files. . .Called AJ too. . .And Webb filled us in." As Bud and Harm had headed downstairs, Webb had filled Sturgis and Creswell about just how lethal the psychotic DSD agent was.

'He's Harm's personal nightmare.' Webb said, sighing as he recalled that Harm was in a bigger mess with Palmer just because he'd called him for help. 'I faked my own death and he thought Rabb had information on the mission I was on. He didn't go after Rabb, instead chose to go after his girlfriend at the time. . .' Palmer was supposed to be a 'good guy.' A man hired by the government to protect it's people. He turned, just as several other agents had, into working freelance. Only, Palmer's job wasn't to help anyone but himself and his underground brotherhood of rogue DSD agents.

Probably what pissed Webb off even more, was that the two had been friends once, when they had a joint mission between the DSD and the CIA. It was sad that a man could come to this, to toying with the loved ones of his nemesis, just because. Now, he only hoped they had a chance to nail him for good. And, if Rabb somehow cornered the man, he'd let him kill Palmer once and for good. . .

Sighing, for, what had to be, the billionth time that day, Harm stretched out on the sofa. He turned his head slightly, his nose taking in _her_ sent. It was hard to believe she'd been at his apartment less than forty-eight hours ago and that now, some psycho was holding her somewhere. But, where? That was the problem, the reason why they couldn't just up and go and rescue Mac. Knowing Palmer the way he did, he gauged that the man mustn't be too far away. No, men like Palmer liked to see what their actions did. It wasn't fun to leave when you could stick around and see the destruction.

Harm swallowed down the last bit of coffee, then placed the mug next to a copy of the letter Palmer had delivered. No one knew he'd managed to sneak out copies of everything. It was wrong of him, but, he'd ordered Bud to do it and then ordered him not to say a word. He needed this information, in hopes that he could find something no one else could. No one knew Palmer like he did. Christ, sometimes he could even feel the man's evil radiating.

"Feel?" Wait a moment! wait just one moment! Harm had told Mac once that he always knew where she was. But, was that a joke? Or was that because, back then, they had this habit of telling each other everything? Then again, Mac _had_ found him in the middle of the ocean. Well, maybe not _him_ exactly, but she was damned close. What if he had the same gift? It wasn't unfathomable for people that were really close to sense when the other was in trouble. And he had sensed something yesterday morning, hadn't he? "Yea, I did."

Standing quickly, he rushed across the apartment and to his desk. There, in the bottom, after pulling up books and his father's tapes, was a book of USA road maps that was, at least, a good ten years old. He didn't know why he kept it, in fact, just a year ago, when he was cleaning up his apartment, he placed it in the garbage, but wound up pulling it out again. Sitting in his chair, he thumbed through the pages, using paperclips to mark Virginia, Maryland and Washington DC. "You're here. I know you are."

Harm ran his hand over the map of Maryland, closing his eyes as he tried to concentrate on Mac. "C'mon MacKenzie, show me." Feeling nothing, not that he knew what he was supposed to be feeling anyway, but, feeling nothing, he moved onto DC. "Mac, this _thing_ of yours has to be a two way street, right?"

But, again, there was nothing. He flipped to Virginia and slowly ran his hand over the map, stopping just where Falls Church would be. "Mac, please, I know you're here. You have to be near by. . .I can _feel_ it. . . I think." But, it was very difficult to make a non-believer believe. Sure, he'd had his metaphysical moments, but, he was still a non-believer. And when a non-believer failed at an endeavourer such as this, it made him believe even less. "Damnit!" He tossed the road map across the room. "God, what did I ever do to you? Why the hell have you put us through this?" He'd been through hell and back, or so he thought. He'd survived a war, numerous plane accidents, psychotic poachers, terrorists and even the rogue DSD agent. But this feeling he had inside, was probably the thing that would kill him.

Slamming his fist into the desk, he stood up and mechanically walked his way to the coffee pot. "Damnit, I should have never fallen for her." He cursed himself for saying that out loud. It wasn't like he could will himself to stop feeling for her, God knows he tried in the past. But, this was something he'd never experienced before, though he swore he'd never be the same since Diane's death. This, was worse. When had he opened up his heart so much to Mac that not being with her was, literally, killing him? He'd liked it, their closeness, the fact that he could now touch her freely and talk to her about things he was afraid to mention before. But, it never occurred to him what would happen if she were gone.

Harm filled up another mug of coffee and downed the liquid which was, now, starting to upset his stomach. He'd barely realized he'd consumed so much, but he'd needed the pick me up, staying up the whole night without caffeine wasn't a good idea. He knew he needed to catch at lest a few hours of sleep, else the General would be all over him when he went in. But, he really didn't care.

1320 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Mac had behaved, and it's not that she wanted to, but she had to, for her sake and for Harm's. It had been, roughly twenty minutes since Palmer and the woman had left after what, had to be, the oddest thing she'd ever gone through. "What the hell did he want to know all that for?" She asked herself, settling down on the bed with her hands under her head. "Hell, reporters haven't even asked me that much." It was surreal, and though she didn't want to answer, Palmer had left that threat, or better yet, 'promise' over her head – Harm would be hurt if she didn't comply. . .

Sitting at the end of the bed, with her legs tucked under her, Indian style, Mac definitely stared at the pair. "Prove it." She tested Palmer, wanting to know just what he had planned for the man she loved. From a briefcase that she hadn't even noticed, Palmer produced some sort of LCD screen with several gadgets and gizmos attached to it. He pulled up the thin, silver antenna and flicked some button. Within seconds, live video feed from Harm's apartment was playing over the large screen which was divided into four. The upper left shot was of the living room, the upper right of the kitchen. The lower left of his bedroom and the lower right of the bathroom.

"Let's just see what Harmy was doing this morning, shall we?" He pushed a button and the feed started to rewind itself. Mac caught her breath as, in reverse, she could see Harm getting ready for the day. He stopped it, right around the time when Harm sat on the sofa with a look that clearly stated his world was starting to fall apart. "He looks great, doesn't he?"

Mac looked away from the screen, "You bastard. . . Can't you just run away? Leave him alone?"

Palmer shook his head. "No." She took a quick peak at the screen again, watching as Harm headed into the kitchen to refill his mug of coffee. It was then that Palmer pressed another button to digitally enhance the image and zoom it in. "You know? It's better with sound." Clicking another button, in the most inopportune moment, Harm's voice came over the built in speaker. "Damnit, I should have never fallen for her." That had Palmer laughing and with good reason, this was just working out to perfection. "Well, would you hear that? I guess the flyboy don't love you anymore, Colonel."

Nikki, who was seated just slightly behind her boyfriend, could do nothing more than grin. He was perfect, knew how to manipulate people. And she would learn from him, hone her skills and help him with all of his enemies. "Sad isn't it, Colonel?" Her fake condolences is what really angered Mac the most.

"If it wasn't because of these. . .circumstances. . ." Mac trailed off as she leveled her gaze on Palmer and then shifted to Nikki. "I think you know what I am capable of." Nothing was worse than a pissed off Marine. Then again a pissed off, female Marine trying to protect the man that she loved was the equivalent of letting out a wild, caged animal. "If I get out of here, God save you, because wherever you go, I will hunt you down."

"Now, now, now, Sarah. . . I haven't done anything to deserve such threats." He lowered the antenna and slammed the briefcase shut. "You're unharmed. You're boyfriend is unharmed and, all we need is a little cooperation so that we can keep things that way." Leaning towards her he placed a hand on her cheek. "Sarah, if things go right, we might even let you go."

Mac's cheek literally burned the moment he touched her. And it wasn't a 'good' type of burning, it was more like being touched by some sort of, flesh eating, chemical. She angrily brushed his hand away. "Doesn't your girlfriend give you enough attention?"

"Oh, I give him plenty!" Nikki spat, standing up in order to engage the Marine who managed, even in an awkward sitting position, to come to some sort of fighting 'stance.'

Palmer just shook his head in amusement, sticking his hand out to prevent Nikki from falling into the hands of one pissed off Marine. "Not a good idea, baby." With a sigh, he settled back into his routine. He really had to stop Nikki from joining him when he was out to visit MacKenzie, the woman seemed to only get in the way. Reaching into his pocket, he produced a small tape recorder which he placed on the bed, just in front of Mac. "I don't want to threaten you periodically, so I'll do so now. . . Either you answer, or he's dead before the end of the day. . .Understood?"

The blood in her veins was boiling, turning to fire beneath her skin that she was actually going to let him do whatever he was planning on doing. But, she had to, for Harm's sake. "Yes, I understand." Mac said through clenched teeth, willing herself not to cry from the anger she felt which mixed with the raw emotion of losing Harm just when they'd started to figure things out. But, she wouldn't give them that satisfaction.

"Good. . .Now, let's begin." He pressed the small record button then settled into the chair with a grin that showed how pleasurable this was going to be for him. "When exactly did you and Harmy become. . .well. . .You and Harmy?"

Mac raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer it, Colonel." Nikki pressed, as, she too, sat comfortably with a rather amused grin.

"In July, it was a. . .case." She offered, not really knowing why she wanted to keep secret that it wasn't just a 'case' but rather a full blown, dangerous-as-hell, mission. "A case we were on. . .things got rough."

"And you two got together." Palmer offered. Isn't that the way it usually worked with people like Rabb and MacKenzie? It took some sort of, life changing, harrowing experience for them to finally get together? "What do you call him and what does he call you in. . .private?"

Okay, now this was really starting to get weird. Looking over at the briefcase that held the surveillance equipment, she closed her eyes. "I usually call him flyboy. . .he really doesn't have any terms for me. . . occasionally, he'll call me Sarah."

Nikki rolled her eyes. "How boring." When both Palmer and Mac glared at her she raised her hands up in surrender. "Sorry!"

Palmer sighed, the woman could sometimes act like a two year old. "Anyway, when did you first meet? And where?"

. . .The questions had continued to be odd and personal. It was as if he was keeping score as to when things occurred in hers and Harm's private life. Mac had answered everything, keeping most details to herself. And only once did they have to play the "I'll kill your boyfriend" card, when she refused to answer questions about their sexual relationship.

When it was all said and done, she was exhausted and Palmer had left her with the surveillance kit along with a minidisk which he said provided a lot of interesting information. She'd been leery to open the case and pop the disk in because, she knew, the moment she gave in, he'd have even more of a hold on her. Still, curiosity has a way of obliterating the sense of what you should and shouldn't do. For the life of her, she didn't know how she managed to get across the room and seated at the table in front of the briefcase. Or, how her fingers managed to open it and pop in the disk. But, when it was finally up and running, there were, again, the four screens, this time it was in _her_ apartment. The date on the corner read – September 10, 2005, the day she and Harm had gone over to the Roberts' residence. She remembered that, after the fun and excitement of the day, Harm and Mac had started their own sort of 'fun' in her bedroom. It has started as a tickle fight, then it took on a life of its own. It was also, the last time they'd intimately been together and there, in the lower right-hand screen was an image of her and Harm making love.

Biting her lower lip didn't stop the sob from escaping and wrapping her arms around herself didn't stop the chills. Palmer had been watching them and God only knew for how long. "You bastard." That meant that he knew everything, saw everything, like their fight just a couple days prior. Mac ran her hands over her arms, trying to warm herself from the cold, nasty feeling of knowing he'd watched them.

Then, just as she had seen enough, the images fast forwarded. She and Harm seemed to be asleep and that's when a person, dressed all in black, crept into the bedroom. He stood there, watching as the lovers lay together, sleeping. Then they turned towards the camera and smiled. It was Palmer. "You sick. . .son of a bitch!" And that was all that she could stand. Mac grabbed the case intent on smashing it into the wall as many time as it took until the whole thing was obliterated. As she lifted the case over her head, she got one thought – with the kit she'd be able to keep an eye on him occasionally. "Damnit." Maybe this is exactly what Palmer wanted? For her to either keep the case or beg him for another one after she destroyed this one? Or for her to know Harm was alright in order to keep her complying with his wishes. "Damnit."

Gingerly, she placed the briefcase back on the table and stepped away slowly as if it were a ticking time bomb. That was when she spotted the bottle of vodka that Palmer had left. "I have to get out of here." She whispered then stood and made her way into the bathroom. There had to be _something_ she could use for escape. Glancing around, she noticed that the shower curtain rod was now, officially missing. "Well, there goes that idea." She said with a sigh, then turned to look at the basin. On the floor, between the basin cabinet and the head, was a small, travel sized, sewing kit. "Hmmm, this might be useable." Squatting down, she palmed the small kit and slipped it into her jean pockets. While down there, she opened the cabinet and rummaged through it, only able to find toiletries and towels. Standing, she glanced at the toothpaste and the brush that was left for her. "Well, if I were MacGyver, I am sure that with the sewing kit and toothpaste I'd be out of here in a jiffy." With a shrug, she turned off the bathroom light and headed into the main area of her confines. "Hell, I never liked MacGyver anyway."

With a defeated sigh, she walked towards the bed and sat down. "What now?" She wondered as her internal clock started ticking the minutes away, yet, it felt like hours. So, indeed, the question was – What now?


	12. The Devil You Know

Okie dokie, after the hustle and bustle and the end of new JAG eppies, I've finally gotten around to posting again! Yay! I should have more by weds or Thursday, been really busy to really put my head into this baby, but it's coming along nicely.

Note 1: The Dive Shaft – Nooooooo clue if it exists, I made it up. ;)

This chapter is pretty intense in some senses, you'll see what I mean. J

Enjoy!

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please

Part 12 – The Devil You Know

September 17, 2005  
2100 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

There was something strange about walking down the familiar hallway. Something odd about using the key that rested next to his own. In a way, her apartment was his, just as his apartment was part hers. That was the point of being a couple, wasn't it? - The fact that things weren't 'mine' anymore, they were now 'ours.' Still, as Harm used his key to enter the familiar apartment, he felt like he shouldn't be there, like he was walking in on her private space. He poked his head in, taking a glance around to make sure there weren't any 'surprises' before stepping in fully.

NCIS had done a good job of cleaning up any chemicals, at least, that is what Gibbs had told him when they spoke the day before. Gibbs had also said that whatever was in the flowers, was some sort of special agent, unlike something they've ever seen before. It was non lethal, but packed enough of a punch to incapacitate a person for quite sometime. The chemical would shut down your body and send you into a deep sleep not unlike some form of mild comatose.

To say that Harm felt like hell, was an understatement. His body ached from the night of restless sleep, his muscles were protesting the hour he'd lightly dozed off on his couch in some unnatural position. If it wasn't for the godsends called ibuprofen and coffee, he probably wouldn't be moving at all. Frowning, he moved to the dinning table, finding the dirty plate still there. He took it and headed into the kitchen, cleaning it and anything Mac had left in the sink. NCIS had taken samples from the plates, they'd even taken the glass on the off chance someone else was dinning with her. Not that it mattered, they knew who had her, but, after finding the pictures, they also knew that Palmer had an accomplice.

As he turned to move out of the kitchen, he found a picture little AJ had drawn the day they'd been at the Roberts home for the barbeque. They were stick figures - wearing oversized clothing - a tall one with spiked black hair and a shorter one with long brown hair. It was him and Mac, or so little AJ had told them. "Mac, just hang on, please just hang on." He ran his hand slowly over stick figure Mac and frowned as a tear ran down his cheek. Harm heard someone coming up behind him, so he wasn't too surprised to hear his voice.

"She will, Harm." Behind him stood Clayton Webb, uncharacteristically dressed in jeans, a polo shirt and tennis shoes.

Harm turned slowly, making sure the other man didn't see him wipe the lone tear that had slid down his cheek. "I hope so. . .How are you Clay?" He shook the other man's hand and offered a half smile.

Clay shrugged, "I've been better." The truth was that he hated this, knowing he was helping the 'other man' search for the woman _he_ was in love with. But, Clay wasn't stupid, he knew, even when he and Mac were together, that she'd always harbor some sort of feeling for the pilot turned lawyer. He could have lived with that, because, he'd known what it was like to love and lose and forget. And eventually, he was sure she'd forget. - How wrong he was.

"I know you don't want her with me, Webb." Harm said as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the living room. He'd been saving himself from this conversation, figuring that some merciful soul in Heaven would prevent them from going toe to toe over Mac. "You think I am a fool for being oblivious all of these years and I agree, I have been. . .But, she chose me over you."

This wasn't exactly a conversation he was hoping to have with Harm. Sure, he was going to help find Mac because he owed them, specifically her, for putting themin danger, but conversation over who won and why, well it wasn't something high up on his list. "Just what's your point, Rabb?"

Harm's larger frame towered over the CIA agent. "That you stay away from her." He said, giving no indications that he was nothing but serious. "I know you lost something good with her, but that was your fault for putting your job over her needs."

"Sarah's a strong woman, she could have handled it." Clay said matter-of-factly, not backing down from the confrontation he knew would eventually come.

"I have no doubts to Mac's strength." He couldn't help but cringe every time Clay called her 'Sarah.' It irritated Harm beyond belief to know that she'd had some sort of intimacy with the spook. He could forgive and forget, because he knew how much of a fool he'd been with her by passing up every single chance she'd given him, but he would be damned if he'd let spookboy just walk into his territory. In Paraguay he should have just taken her into his arms and kissed her senseless, but he didn't because he loved her too much to let his guard down and put her in danger. Simply put, he wasn't going to play the same game Clay had with her life, even if it meant losing her. "It's obvious you have, absolutely, _no clue_ as to who she is."

Clay grinned. "Maybe it's _you_ that doesn't know who she is. . .I mean, that is the only way that one could figure out why you two went _nine years_ with nothing to show for it." He saw the angry look Harm was giving him, but apparently, Clay _wanted_ to play with fire, to push buttons that really shouldn't be pushed. Even after everything that had happened, he wasn't willing to let go of Mac without a fight. In fact, he was sitting back and waiting for Rabb to screw up, to do something Rabb-like and stupid, so that Mac would come running into _his_ arms. "You went after her when she was vulnerable. When you knew she wouldn't back away because she'd been so hurt thinking that you were dead. . . You used her, like you always do."

Harm couldn't have told you how it happened, how his fist wound up because his brain didn't even get a chance to formulate the punch. The only thing he knew was that his right fist connected with the side of the agent's face and that Clay was now lying on the floor with a bloody nose. "You're a bastard, Clay. . . I can't believe I even felt guilty for you. . . You're a bastard."

"Oh, you just don't know, do you Harmy?" Harm turned around swiftly, his gaze leveling towards the doorway. Clay, who was on the floor came up to his feet quickly, automatically reaching for the gun he didn't have on him. Clark Palmer stood in the doorway, walking in slowly, but keeping his distance from the two men. "You two look surprised."

"Son of a bitch!" Harm lunged forward, his fist winding up to strike when Palmer stepped back, opening up a small television. The image stopped Harm dead in his tracks. Now _he_ was the one that felt sucker punched. The air rushed out of his lungs as he saw a live feed of Mac laying on a bed, clutching a pillow as she slept. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" He walked casually to the coffee table, placing the TV on its top. He stepped back gauging both men's shocked reactions. Harm, seeming to be in some trance, couldn't pull his eyes off of the screen. Clay's gaze was leveled on Palmer, he'd even ignored the blood running out of his left nostril and down the front of his shirt. "You think if we spend enough time together, she'll give me a chance?"

Harm stood rooted in place, but this time his gaze traveled to the former DSD agent. "If you touch her I'll. . ."

"You'll what, Harm?" He grabbed the miniTV and stuffed it into his pocket. With a grin, he slowly walked his way to Mac's sofa and sat down with a heavy sigh. "If you try anything, you'll never find her, ever. . . And, she needs me." He crossed his leg and placed his hands on the back of the sofa, comfortably stretching himself out. "No food, no water. . .She'd die slow and miserably and you'll never find her, I'll guarantee that." And there was no reason for the two other men not to believe him. "It will be _your_ fault for being as stupid as you are."

From the doorway, there was the sound of a gun being cocked. When the three men turned to the sound, they found Gibbs with his pistol pointed at Palmer. "What the hell is going on here?"

Harm traded his glance between Palmer and Gibbs. Pointing at the gun he walked towards the NCIS agent. "Put it down."

"I don't think so, Rabb." Put it down? The man they were looking for was there, sitting on the Colonel's sofa like a sitting duck.

"Agent Gibbs, please put it down." Palmer said with a saccharine sweet voice. "Sarah's in danger and shooting me won't help one bit. So, I suggest you put the pistol away and relax." Standing, he moved closer to the men, mainly towards Harm. "You've got yourself one hell of a boys club here, Harmy." With a grin, he stood just in front of Harm knowing the other man wouldn't do anything. God, this was perfect. Why hadn't he thought of this before?

Harm grinded his teeth. "Don't be flattered." He was barely breathing and the lack of oxygen was making him waver slightly, but he managed not to falter. "What do you want from me?"

"For you to play the game." He took out an envelope and held it in front of the naval officer, taunting him when Harm reached out to grab it. "In two hours you will open this and don't think of doing it sooner, I have everything timed. . . I know how long it will take you to get there so I'll know you didn't open it when I told you to. . .If you leave this building before the two hours are up, I'll know." He placed the envelope in Harm's hand. "Every game has to have rules. . . I might just let her go. To be honest," He continued with a chuckle, "I don't have anything against the Colonel, it's just you that I have a problem with." He patted his nemesis on the arm and grinned. "Don't you feel special?"

Mustering some sort of sick smile of his own, Harm moved his arms across his chest and nodded. "Oh yea, feels great to deal with a psycho like you, Palmer."

"Oh, I am not psychotic, I am just in the mood to have a little fun . . .at your expense." He turned around and said his goodbyes to the two other men. "Thank you for your time fellas. Oh, and don't try to follow me. I don't mean to threaten you but, I will hurt her and Harmy, you know I like to invent special ways to hurt people." With that, he turned and headed out of the apartment knowing full well that the other three would oblige, Harm would force them to. It was a gamble showing up at her apartment, but when he saw the opportunity to personally torture Harm, he had to take it and it was enjoyable.

Gibbs was the first one to talk, well, actually, he was the first one to yell. "How in the HELL could you let him get away like that, Rabb? Don't you want to find your girlfriend?" He didn't get it, if he was in a similar situation, he would have gone after Palmer and killed him right on the spot.

But, Harm knew Palmer much better than the other two men. He'd been his victim several times and things with the former DSD agent weren't black or white, they were in Technicolor. And with all of the time Palmer had on his hands to fabricate this 'game', as he called it, it wasn't the time to play Superman, especially with Mac's life. "Gibbs, you don't know him like I know him. Not even Clay does."

"He's not superhuman, Rabb. . . He's a man who bleeds if we shoot him." Gibbs was confident in his people and their abilities to find the Colonel. They'd never let him down before in the past, why doubt them now? "We have people on this, so does Webb here, last night we put together a joint force to find her. And you just blew a major chance to get this lunatic off the streets!"

Harm stood steadfast, knowing, full well, that Palmer's tricks could bring shame to the joint operation. "I know him and I won't gamble with Mac's life, not this way."

"So, you're just going to sit and wait for two hours to play his game?" Clay, said, heading towards the kitchen in order to get ice and clean up his bloody nose.

"Yes." With a huff, Harm took a seat on Mac's arm chair and placed the note on coffee table.

Gibbs sat on the sofa and sighed. "I hope you know what you're doing Rabb."

Harm didn't, but he felt it in his gut that this was the right choice. Palmer had been out too long for him to go around gambling with Mac's life. He knew, too well, what the other man was capable of and hiding Mac away in a place no one could find, wasn't that far fetched. His thoughts traveled to the night he spent trying to use her own 'powers' on the road map. Perhaps it would have been better if he knew what Mac felt when she had those sensations. Maybe he just didn't have that sort of gift, but there is one thing that he felt in his bones, "She's here." It was something he'd known deep inside. He knew Mac was near. "Mac's somewhere near, either still in DC, or Virginia or Maryland, but she is near."

"Or maybe even New York, Florida, California, South America." Clay's voice sounded nasally as he came out holding ice to the bridge of his nose. He sat down on the other chair, eyeing the note with curiosity. He would have ripped it open now and just taken off. This whole fear that Harm had towards Palmer was unnerving.

Shaking his head, Harm insisted. "She's here. It's part of the game." Which made perfect sense for Palmer to hold Mac close to Harm. Close enough for him to find, but in a place that they couldn't look, adding to the torture. "Palmer wants me to go mad knowing she is close enough for us to find." He shifted his gaze between the two men and sighed. "I know I sound crazy, but, Clay, you know how I operate. You know I wouldn't do something like this if I wasn't sure." And the more his mind thought about it, the surer he was. "Gibbs, have your people start searching for her. I'll play his game, try to wear him down, make him think it's working."

Gibbs was starting to be won over by Harm's plan. "Alright, I'll keep my people searching, borrow a few agents from the FBI if I need to."

"I'll give you a few agents as well." Clay offered, stunned at himself for giving into Harm's plan. But, seeing as he was the other man in love with Mac, he was starting to see something right about Harm's logic. Perhaps he was just shocked that Harm could use any sort of logic unlike him who took her with him to Paraguay because, one day, he realized he had a crush on the lady Marine. He admired the Commander's restraint.

Harm furled his brow. "I understand why Webb would help, _he _has an agenda, but why are you being so complacent, Gibbs?"

"Guilt." The agent admitted with a sheepish grin. "I was wrong about you and I know I made your life hell and shook some things up at JAG that, maybe, I shouldn't have shaken up. But, you have to admit, the evidence was against you."

"And I didn't exactly make it easy for you." He knew he tended to act guilty during the case, especially when being interviewed. With his cocky lawyering skills, Harm honestly believed he could play the interviewers and talk his way out of it, it didn't work. Men like Gibbs weren't fazed easily. It was something that he'd respected, secretly.

"No, you didn't." Gibbs said with a grin. "But, I am man enough to admit when I am wrong and I was." He stared at the Commander for a moment, noting the far away gaze that he suddenly got. "You know, it was difficult to interview her during your case. . .She's quite loyal."

Harm nodded. Loyal, yea, she was and so was he, despite problems in their relationship. Sighing, he leaned back into the chair, his eyes moving back to the letter. "I'm going to open it." He decided, thinking that it might give them an advantage to figuring out anything about Mac's whereabouts. But, the other two men stopped him. Glancing up, he furled his brow once again, but then conceded. Two hours, they had to wait two hours and he wasn't about to break the rules of the game.

2130 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Yep, she was right, having the stupid screen, or HarmTV, as Palmer had dubbed it when he caught her watching earlier that day, was going to be her undoing. "Where the hell are you?" Mac asked the screen, noting that she couldn't see Harm anywhere in his apartment. She was, literally, scared for him and had been since Palmer appeared in her room with the news that he'd be visiting Harm today. "God, please, please let him be alright, please."

Nikki had been watching the woman, standing at the doorway with a mild enthusiasm. It was amusing, the other woman was a trained Marine, yet she was too entranced with the screen to notice she'd been standing there watching. Palmer had told her to leave Mac alone, but she just couldn't. There was this morbid curiosity that couldn't be contained, kind of like watching an animal in a cage. "Clark won't kill him, Colonel." She said, chuckling when Mac jumped slightly. "It would be too easy to just pull the trigger." Who would have thought that she could speak this way with such coldness? She was always such a nice person, cheery, caring. And she still was, only now, she was loyal to her man.

"I know you're toying with me." Mac said, calmly closing the case and leaning back into the chair. "STOP IT!" She yelled, using her best DI voice. Mac would have laughed at how Nikki jumped, it was quite amusing, but, instead, she used her stoic demeanor to keep her attitude of strength. "I am not a toy and if it weren't for the circumstances, I'd have snapped your and Palmer's necks like twigs."

The other woman took a seat on the bed, keeping her distance from the Marine. "You love him don't you?" She said motioning towards the case.

"Yes." Maybe she shouldn't have answered, it was of normal custom for captives to remain silent, but she needed to forge some sort of bond with the woman. "And you love Clark."

Nikki smiled, her eyes taking that love struck look which made Mac slightly nauseated. "He saved me, I guess you could say. Right when I thought I couldn't love again, he melted my heart."

Oh yea, it was definitely nauseating to hear anyone speak this way about a man as odious as Clark Palmer. Still, she managed a sweet smile and swallowed down her pride. "It's amazing how they can do that, isn't it? . . Just. .sweep you off your feet."

Nikki chuckled. "Don't try to become my friend, Colonel, it won't work. . .I am used to getting heads shrunk."

"And yet Palmer shrunk _your_ head?" She immediately dropped her sweet routine noting that there wasn't a point if she was had.

"Don't presume that you know about us, _Colonel._" Nikki shot off, standing up and moving dangerously close to Mac. "We've been together for a while, unlike you and the Commander who have _no clue_ what it's like to have a long standing relationship."

Mac had to laugh at that. Sure, she and Harm had taken their sweet time to finally 'connect.' But, the woman was manic if she thought what Palmer wanted from her was nothing but a relationship. "You must be a _really lousy _shrink if you let Palmer wrap you around his little finger. Doctor, whatever your name is."

"Halloren." Nikki spat out automatically and then suddenly relented at her slip. Angrily, she lunged at Mac, slapping the Marine with a brutal force. Stepping back, she saw Mac's bloody lip and the amused grin that seemed to only widen. "You're just as bad as Clark says you are."

Wiping her lip, Mac laughed more, this woman was really being played. "Dr. Halloren, I might not be a shrink, but I suggest that you figure out your place in Palmer's life. . .You aren't as important as you think you are."

Nikki was seething, taking sharp breaths in order to calm herself. What had happened to that normally cool and collected woman? She wasn't totally gone was she? "I have a few things for you." Knowing this was just going to end up badly as did her last confrontation with Mac, Nikki stepped outside and came back in with grocery bags. "We need you alive and well. . .so here are things for you to keep up your nourishment." She set the bags on the floor next to the door then made to leave when Mac suddenly stood up.

"Look, please, let me go. . .You have no use for me. . .He wanted to taunt us and he has." She moved close to the woman, keeping enough of a distance for Nikki not to feel threatened. "Please."

There was a time, specifically the night before, when she lay in Palmer's arms contemplating just letting the Marine go and ending this little game of his. She was starting to spend less and less time with him and knew he had a fondness for the Colonel, so it would have been better to let 'the bird out of the cage' so to speak. But, there was also this want of revenge for Mac hurting Palmer, for Harm having him put away – and she had to help avenge that. "No."

Nikki stepped out so quickly, Mac didn't have a chance to get another word in. Instead, she stood in the center of the room head hung low. She hadn't given them the satisfaction of crying, but, now, as she stood there unknowing as to what Palmer was going to do with Harm today, she felt herself start to break. Her body collapsed into the bed and she curled up in fetal position. Mac's sobs racked her whole body, taking her very breath away. Thinking about Harm hurt too much, more than when they were trying to make her believe he was dead because, back then, she'd had hopes. Right now, there was nothing worse than knowing he was out there, within reach but they couldn't get to each other.

2430 Zulu  
The Dive Shaft Bar  
Virginia

Five men sat inside a long, black van which was parked just across the street from a bar located in the worst part of town. People just didn't venture into this area unless they were looking to pick up a prostitute, wanted to find a loan shark or buy narcotics from the friendly neighborhood drug dealer. Hell, the cops wouldn't even be seen in that part of town. Harm sat behind the wheel, nervously tapping his fingers. In his pocket rested the letter he'd opened more than two hours ago. With a sigh he pulled it out, checking, for the tenth time, the instructions he knew by heart. – '_Two hours after receiving this letter, you may drive to a place called The Dive Shaft. There you will wait for instructions. PS: Bring your friends.'_ And that was it. All that drama and all of that waiting for a simple, stupid note.

Of course, they had to first figure out what the hell The Dive Shaft which is why there were, now, four people other than Webb and Gibbs with him. In fact, they weren't even in the same vehicle, the two were sitting about two blocks down in an unmarked car waiting. No, in Harm's vehicle sat Bud, the first person he'd called and the one person he really hoped had stayed home. The Lt. Commander had a family, a wife and kids, but still, he insisted on joining in, that his assets in technology might be of use. Then there was Sturgis and Creswell who were both sitting at ops going through more pictures that the security team had managed to disclose. And, finally, there was AJ Chegwidden. Webb had called him simply because he knew, other than Mac, that AJ was able to keep Harm cool and collected. Out of all of them AJ was also the one that had a clue what the Dive Shaft was, in fact, since he started his PI service, he had been casing the place for at least two weeks.

A buzzing of Harm's phone, had the five of them jumping slightly from the tension. "Rabb." He barked into the receiver, pulling the device away from his ear as Webb screamed on the other line. "Webb, lower your damned voice!"

('How the hell were you able to amass four million dollars on a lowly Commander's pay, Rabb?' Webb yelled into the phone. His staff had been looking for anomaly's that occurred on the same day of Palmer's disappearance. The one that struck them as odd was the four million dollar transfer from Europe to Kansas by one Harmon Rabb. 'I know your stepfather is the VP of Chrysler, but what the hell have you been doing? Saving every check the man's ever given you?')

Harm glared at the phone and shook his head. Four million dollars? What the hell? "Not that it's any of your damned business, Webb, but the only time my stepfather has given me a large sum of cash was when I needed to buy a ride on a MIG." He was referring to that little trip he and Mac took to Russia in search of his father and the money Frank had wired in order for him to steal a MIG. "If I have four million dollars then I am the last one to know. . . and why are my finances so important anyway?" What the hell did this have to do with Mac?

(Webb sighed and took a look at the file that was sent to printer onboard the unmarked car. 'According to the file I have in front of me, a Harmon Rabb had the money transferred from _his_ account in Europe to his account in Kansas.')

"What!" Harm yelled into the phone. "Webb, there has to be a logical expli-nat-ion. . ." He trailed off slightly, his mind suddenly bombarding him with images of Clark Palmer taking _credit card orders_ in some sort of program Leavenworth had for prisoners that behaved. That had been years ago, hadn't it? "Son of a. . Webb, check with Leavenworth, Palmer's job was taking orders. . ._credit card_ orders, I wouldn't be surprised if he stole money from the accounts." Time and money, two deadly combinations when used for the wrong purposes, and, at the moment, Palmer had them both. . . . . . . . . . .

Xblue - Oh, you just don't know how bad he is. ;) Time and money, imagine him with both, scary:P Oh yea, they could have SO done a GREAT story arc with Palmer coming back. Would have rocked too.

NK - Creepy, yep, I agree, it's a dark series, I am surprised people are reading, thanks though:)

Alix - Harm's connection might not work the way he wishes it to, but he has one, he just hasn't figured it out yet. In a future chapter someone will help him figure it out.

FeverishDream - Hello Liz! FF is a wonderful world to hide in. Harm Clones, you place the orders through me. I need to kow what clothing you want on him (you ge ta choice of three) and what hairstyle. ;) He also comes with either the Vette or the Lexus, gotta pick one or the other. ;)

Brittany - Yea I know I was surprised that DPB gave that much, but, I have to say, it was a bit anticlimatic for me. :shrugs: Oh well, those touchy feely moments were nice. :)

carbygurl- It's been brought! ;)

Lurkz - Loving your story too btw, it's kicking ass and I am waiting for Vic's ass kicking. ;) I had to put that MacGuyver comment, I mean you know the man would have been out of there with a peice of lint and a shower curtain or soemthing. ;)

aserene - He'll figure it out eventually, how the gift works, it might be a bit too late but not completely too late. :)

LtJGMeg - Oh, kill away, just, please, during his scenes here, I need him scuff free, save for that Marine corp bashing Mac gave him over his eye. ;)

cbw - Ah, so you like de creepy stuff! I knew you were as nutty as me! ;)

jtbwriter - LOL Now what? ;) Main probelm with Mac is that she hasn't got a place to go and, even if she did, they are both in the same game of - if you do something - I'll hurt the other - after just finding eachother neither is willing to bend and risk doing something stupid.

dansingwolf - about the pictures - The pictures could be interpreted that way, it's just a little more 'things' to screw with Harm's mind is all. But, no, he hasn't touched Mac.


	13. Unwanted Dreamland

Ah, moving right along. Next chappie, they might just find Mac. ;)

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, Wuchel anyone else I missed for the feedback :) - If you left feedback and are not in this list, lemme know please

Part 13 – Unwanted Dreamland

2450 Zulu  
The Dive Shaft Bar  
Virginia

For a few minutes, he felt like someone was sitting on his chest, stealing his very breath. So far, they'd been sitting outside The Dive Shaft for a small eternity and the only new information was the one Webb's people discovered about Harm's hidden bank account. Ever since that new discovery, Harm couldn't control his anger at the system and how Leavenworth could have screwed up again with the former DSD agent. "Harm, calm down, son." AJ pleaded for the second time in five minutes as he pressed a hand onto his former officer's shoulder. The Commander was starting to worry AJ, and for good reason, he'd never, ever, seen him like this. Perhaps the closest he ever saw Harm falling towards a breaking point was when Mac and Webb went missing. Even then, he wasn't this close to losing control.

Harm took a long, shaky breath, then turned around in his seat. "I'm sorry. . .I am trying to be more professional, but. . .it's difficult." They'd gotten some weeks of levity only to be bombarded by his flying mishap, Mac's illness and now this. How was anyone supposed to be in control, anyway? "This… this isn't fair… I mean what else do Mac and I have to go through before we catch a friggin' break?" He brought his hands to his head, slowly massaging his temples. He'd had a headache for two days now, a tension headache which was slowly starting to become of the migraine variety.

Sturgis and Creswell were the most confused of the bunch. Neither of them had known Harm to fear much of anything which is why they both found it odd that the other men were tiptoeing around Palmer, actually playing his games. "Is this guy really that powerful?"

"He's my private nightmare. . ." Voicing his thoughts, Harm turned in his seat, glancing towards the back. "He's like a stalker. Only it's worse than that because he doesn't just come after me. . .He finds ways to do it through other people. . . A few years back he set up these tricks with mirrors to make me believe I was shoot him. Had I, and I would have shot Jordan, my girlfriend at the time."

AJ sighed, "Last we heard of him, Palmer led the Commander on a wild chase, hoping to clear one of Harm's clients that had been sent to Leavenworth." He was still astounded at just how close they had come to losing Harm if his client, Marine Sergeant Krohn hadn't stepped in.

"They let him out?" Creswell asked, slightly irritated in the notion that this, obviously sick individual would just be allowed to up and leave one of the most difficult prisons to escape from.

Harm cringed slightly. "That was my idea." He shrugged at Creswell's look of shock then sighed. "My client, Marine Sergeant Krohn, was accused of attempting to murder his wife. He was sent to Leavenworth. . .It was a strange case." He said, trying to find the right wording to elaborate. "Krohn said a that a deceased Chaplain led him to the alley where his wife was found beaten severely. A priest from the Vatican, Father O'Rourke, was trying to help me defend Krohn because, if Krohn's 'miracle' was true, it meant a possible chance at getting the chaplain canonized." He glanced towards Sturgis and Creswell who both were staring back with a look of confusion. "Months later, when Mac was getting married, Tiner had a flag case made for them in the prison workshop. Somehow Palmer managed to sneak in a bloody knife instead of the gift. Mac and I investigated. . ." Sighing, he recalled the strange anger that pounded through his body at the thought of Palmer involving Mac somehow. After that, he tried, as best as possible, to keep her far away from dealing with both Krohn and Palmer. "Palmer faked having these visions. He said that the Padre was using him to help Krohn. That led us on a wild goose chase. . .To make a long story short, he nearly had me riddled with bullets. Thankfully, Krohn was cleared of all charges."

Sturgis let out a low whistle. He couldn't fathom anyone holding a grudge for so long. Then again, he knew Harm pretty well, knew how his friend a nasty habit of pissing people off. He'd seen it in the classes they shared at the Academy, how Harm could tick off even some of the teachers. It didn't mean he wasn't a good, likeable guy, but there were times that Harm would get one thing in his head, follow that track and not back off. That tend to tick off certain people. "And now he's leading you on another chase."

"Seems that way, doesn't it?" His gaze slowly spanned the occupants of the van before it leveled towards the red, metal door to the bar. Letting his breath out slowly, Harm's mind traveled back to the small screen that Palmer had placed on Mac's coffee table with images of her. At the moment, it seemed like an illusion, a parlor trick, but Harm knew it was real. Gripping the steering wheel tightly, he tried searching for her again. He managed to momentarily clear his mind of anything but her, searching for some sort of feeling or link as to where she could be. She wasn't there, he knew that. In fact, he had a gut feeling this was a rouse but for what purpose?

Sitting in their own car, Gibbs and Webb were slowly going over the details of the odd bank account. Gibbs held a pair of binoculars to his eyes, scanning the area as he'd done so many times before. "This feels like either a trap, or a means to get us away from something."

"Holy. . ." Webb stared down at the latest file that came across the onboard printer, his breath hitching slightly. "You know the guy that Palmer switched with?" He pulled up two pictures, one of a man impeccably dressed in a classy suit and the other of the same man looking like hell with a prison uniform. "Victor Girilli."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow in question, then continued his surveillance. "Yea, we already know he posed as Palmer's lawyer and they switched places."

Clay shot the man an annoyed look and sighed. "Oh." That was news to him, or weren't people planning to fill him in with the details? As he made to stuff the picture into a file, Gibbs' hand clasped around his arm. "Wait. . .The woman."

"What woman?" Webb leaned in, taking a good look at the picture. Just behind Girilli was, indeed, a woman.

Gibbs took the picture, tilted the a small light towards it and frowned. "Dr. Nicole Halloren." He said in a matter-of-fact tone. At Clay's questioning glance, he filled him in with the details. "Apparently, he was seeing a shrink or rather, she was seeing him." As he glanced up at the CIA agent, a certain aspect of past information occurred to him. "The person who delivered the note to JAG was a woman." They both exchanged a mutual, knowing glance. Was she the missing link, the accomplice?

Down the block, Harm angrily opened the driver's door and proceeded to hop out. "Rabb, what the hell are you doing?" AJ yelled, glaring at the younger man as if he still were in his chain of command.

"I'm not sitting around any longer. . . If I am walking into a trap, so be it." He slammed the car door and walked around the van, waiting for a motorcycle gang to pass as he made to move across the street.

AJ sighed and reached out to open the van's sliding door. "You three stay put, I'll go with him." The other men didn't bother arguing, only traded looks of concern as Chegwidden stepped out of the van and raced across the street in time to catch up with Harm. "Rabb, this isn't a good idea."

"With all due respect, neither is staying put." Harm reached out for the handle of the door and held it open for AJ. "After you, sir."

With a SEAL death glare, Chegwidden let out a deep breath. "I am retired and you are out of uniform, it's AJ from here on out. You read me, sailor?"

Harm resisted the urge to snap to attention and merely nodded as AJ passed and entered before him. "Aye aye, sir."

Stepping into the bar, the two were hit with a wall of heavy rock music. The place smelled of stale beer, cigarettes and something else that you couldn't quite put your finger on. The back walls were lined with booths, upholstered in a dark red cloth that contrasted with the shiny metal table tops. At the center, towards the back, was a small stage that boasted the four members of some sort of rock band, if you considered all of the yelling and grunting the lead singer was doing a form of music. On either side of the stage was a 8ft high set of amplifiers. Leaning against the ones on the right side were two couples, heavily engaged in some extra curricular activity that no one seemed to mind.

As Harm and AJ walked towards the bar, a fight broke out in the sunken in dance floor, which you had to walk down these precarious looking pieces of plywood to head into. Harm stared down at the madness, then realizing that people weren't fighting, it was some sort of dancing. Moshing? Wasn't it what it was called? One thing was for sure, Harm was thankful he wasn't wearing his uniform, the black clothing he currently sported actually made him semi fit in, if only he wasn't so clean cut. "Lovely place, isn't it?" AJ yelled over the music, ordering two beers as he hopped up onto a stool. The last time, when he came to find out information on a PI case he was working on, he opted to use earplugs, unfortunately, he forgot to carry them this time. "I can't believe people actually _enjoy_ this sort of thing." He really didn't understand it. Rock and Roll was one thing, but that type of music was incomprehendable and absolutely annoying.

Harm leaned against the bar, choosing not to sit down in case he needed to move quickly. He scanned the area, letting his gaze rest on each and every new individual he found. "Why would he want me _here_?" He asked out loud, not really looking for an answer, but merely voicing his frustration. Damnit, he knew if he could only figure out what the purpose to _this_ part of the game was that he knew just where he stood with Palmer. Taking a swig of his beer, he glanced over at AJ who was giving him a very sad look. "Do you think he is toying with me, sir? I mean, AJ?"

"Yes." And AJ knew the reason why because it was simple. "I think he's doing this just to make you go crazy, to lead you through one hoop into another and eventually watch you self destruct."

Self destruct? Palmer wanted him to self destruct? Shaking his head, Harm snorted, "I got news for him, I'm already there." He saw AJ frown at that comment and just shook it off. There wasn't any need to dwell on that at the moment. Right now, he needed to sit there and wait. It was odd and maybe, in his self destruction, he was really starting to lose it, but Harm swore he could feel Palmer watching, waiting in the wings. He straightened himself, took a swig of the beer and glanced around the bar once again.

"You feel someone watching you, don't you?" AJ said, glancing to a person standing about thirty feet to Harm's left. At Harm's nod, he motioned towards the area to find a blond who, just as them, looked like she didn't belong.

The woman walked over and though she had all of the space in the world, chose to hop onto the stool just next to Harm. Her arm brushed intimately against his, which he pulled away immediately. At his annoyed glare, she shot him a sweet, sweet smile as she ordered a vodka and cranberry. When the order comes in, she sucks the drink through a straw, her gaze never leaving the tall, attractive man next to her.

Harm's gaze traveled the club for the third time that evening, eventually settling on the woman seated next to him, the one choosing to be so blatantly obvious. "I'm not interested." He stated flat out, laying out with one sentence that he wasn't there to be picked up.

But the blond wasn't hurt, only amused. "You know, sometimes guys usually wait to be hit on before they know if they are interested or not." She eyed him with curiosity, taking in the gorgeous color of his eyes and the way his body filled out his clothing. Attractive was definitely the word to describe this man. With a grin, she extended her hand to introduce herself. "I'm Nicole."

"And I am _still _not interested." Harm brushed her hand away and took a long gulp of his beer. "I know what you are and, I gotta tell ya, you're not going to score your next trick with me." By her appearance, the semi-fancy clothes and nice make up, he gauged that she was a prostitute, it would make sense as to why a woman like her would be in this part of town.

Nicole glared at him for a moment with a look of disgust. "I am not a hooker, sweetheart." She finished her drink, ignored Harm's apology and reached into her purse, pulling out a few bills which she placed on the bar under her glass. With a sigh, she reached into her purse again, took out a business card and slipped it into the front pocket of Harm's jeans. "Call me sometime." And with that, she stood and headed out of the bar.

"What was that about?" AJ asked, slightly amused with the scenes that developed around Harm. He'd been out drinking with his subordinates before and it never ceased to amuse him how easily women fell at the Commander's feet. Sometimes, it seemed Harm would take it in stride, other times, mainly those when Mac's actions hinted towards her own attraction to him, he'd just been oblivious. He chuckled about it slightly, then glanced at Harm who was fishing through his front pocket for whatever the attractive blond put in there.

Harm pulled out some old receipts and placed them on the bar. She'd stuck her hand all the way to the bottom, touching him a bit too intimately for his tastes. "I am not sure. . . I thought she was a prostitute." He said, clearly still believing that was the case. "Maybe she's one of those escorts?" With a shrug he finally managed to pull out the card which he peaked at. '_I want every second of your life to be about me._' The words were sprawled out in cursive and something about that sentence was so damned familiar.

Of course it was! Palmer had told him that back when he was trying to make Harm shoot Jordan with that mirror trick. "No!" He shoved the card back into his pocket and sprinted out of the bar running into two bikers as he made it outside.

"Harm, wait!" AJ could barely get the words out. With a groan, he placed some money on the bar and headed out after his former protégée. "Harm!" Finally making it outside, he lost sight of Harm just as he ducked around the corner of the building. "Damnit!" Glancing towards the van, he saw Creswell, Sturgis and Bud standing outside. Sturgis shrugged at him, pointing towards the area that Harm had headed to.

As he was about to head after him, he saw Webb and Gibb come trotting up next to him. "What the hell happened, AJ?" The CIA agent asked. "AJ!" The two ran after the former SEAL, going around the corner and into the alley that separated The Dive Shaft from some other building.

"Harm, wait!" AJ yelled, as Harm disappeared around another corner. "Damnit, I'm too old for this." He ran down the alley, taking the same route that Harm took with Gibbs and Webb hot on their trail. The Heaven's chose this particular moment to open up and pound down onto Earth a torrential downpour. "Harm?" As he rounded another corner, he found Rabb laying next to a dumpster, his hand pressed up against his face as a series of groans and curses escaped his lips. "Harm?"

The pain was making his already throbbing head feel ten times worse. As he pressed his hand against his forehead, he felt something warm gushing out, mixing with the cold from the rain falling on them. "Damnit, she hit me."

"Who did?" Clay asked, finally managing to catch up to the two men. He placed a hand on the wall, leaning against it as he managed to catch his breath. Running wasn't really his thing and this had taken a lot of his body that was still, sort of, recovering.

Harm, with the help of AJ, managed to sit up. He released his hand from his head and blood gushed into his eyes, mixing with the rain and making it difficult for him to see. "A woman. . .she gave me this card. . ." He fished through his front pocket and pulled out the business card holding it up for Gibbs to take.

Gibbs took the card and slipped it into the inner pocket of his jacket, hoping to shield it from the weather. "What did she look like, Commander?"

"Light eyes, blond. I guess she was attractive." He said with a shrug as AJ worked on wrapping the gash with the sweater he'd previously been wearing.

Webb pulled a picture out of the back of his jeans, a close up of the woman that had been Palmer's psychiatrist. "Does she look familiar?"

Harm glanced at the picture for a few long seconds before he nodded. "Yea, that's her. . .That's Nicole." As the men helped him to his feet, he glanced at Webb curiously. How'd he have a picture of her so quickly? "I don't understand?" He wavered slightly, thankful that AJ had an arm around his waist, preventing him from falling down.

"This is Dr. Nicole Halloren, Palmer's shrink." Clay began, then added. "We think she's his accomplice."

"Oh God." Again he wavered as AJ fought to keep his larger frame from toppling over. Harm's head was pounding harder now as the tunnel vision began to suck him in. 'No, Hammer, no!' He told himself, trying to prevent his body from shutting down. He knew he'd been pushing it with the lack of sleep and the living on only coffee, but he couldn't shut down. "Not now." He said out loud, doubling over as his stomach churned once, then twice. "Not until I find her." He fell down to his knees, the weight of his body being too much for AJ to hold up alone. "No." It was the last thing he was able to get out before his body shut down and sent him into an, unwanted dreamland. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Brittany - Yea, me too! Clay's been like borderline between being a good guy and a bad guy. I have it that, if you read the other two stories, he basically found out about Harm being accused of kililng Singer, and using that knowlege to grab Mac at a time he knew Harm wouldn't be able to go with them. Basically, he did it on purpose. And there is going to be a little twist in this story with Webb and he and Harm and going to have a little battle. Webb will get punched again. ;) Though, this time, he may not have deserved it. ;)

martini - Will he save her? You are going to ask that! Like I am going to tell you! Well, next chappie he might need to get attended to and others might find her for him, but Mac's not going to be all well,she might be forgetting a thing or two. ;)

Feverish - Yep, reruns and fanfiction that's what my JAG world consists of. Oh, and the Harm Clone, you'll get him by Friday. ;)

CBW - The Doc is an idiot. I mean, how in the world does a 'smart' shrink get her head shrunk by palmer! I mean c'mon! What an idiot!

dansing wolf - LOL! No not pathetic, I do the same thing with some stories. Check a few times a day, drool when I get a new chapter. Toss confetti at myself. . . etc. ;)

Wuchel - Hey, as long as you PASS English class, I am all for you reading during class. ;) Waaaay before I got into JAG. saying around 98, I used to write during Math class. Hehe I thought I could write a novel and bored myself out of it. :shrugs:

aserene - Little playmate? ROFL! Yea, Mac should kick her six. :makes a note of that: ;)

XBlue - Did you just call me bad! WTF! And don't be scared, all rides come to an end, and I usually do end it with a pretty red bow, don't I? ;) Wuss! Calix :Slides over a twenty: Hey! Xmas in Paris, looooved the ending, sweet, touching, fluffy. We need another one. Now damnit! ANd you can add the smile all you want. I add winks ;). Not sure why but I am addicted to it. ;) My friend and I used to say (when we chatted online) that it was a nervous facial tick. ;) See what I mean. ;) Hehehe ;)

mjag - Oh yea! You gotta do something with the flo Palmer has amassed. I mean, c'mon! that's just too good not to use. And yea, AJ is around again:)

froggy - Palmer is such a good badguy and, right now, he's basically toying with Harm because he can. I am guessing you guys really hate him around now. ;)

LtGJMeg - Violent! I like it! ;)


	14. Boom!

Okie, I was supposed to put this one out yesterday but, it got complicated and there was a matter of should I wait on finding Mac for another chapter or not. But, I decided to be nice. :) Semi-nice. There is a twist coming up. ;)

This story is long. It wasn't going to be, but it happened. Hopefully, you guys will stick it out. :) There will be a reward at the end. ;) H/M reward that is. ;) I haven't done an overly romantic ending recently and I might just do it with this one. :) Tease I know,. :)

So, here we go.

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, Wuchel, minorcadence, mechanical, mariarita, anyone else I missed for the feedback :)

Part 14 – Boom!

September 18, 2005  
0125 Zulu  
Arlington, Virginia

They were both laughing, basking in the good times they'd been having at other people's expenses. "Sweetie, you should have seen the look on his face." Nikki said, giggling at the looks Harm shot her when he thought she was a street walker. "Next time I have to be a bit stealthier, if I wouldn't have whacked him with the two by four, I wouldn't have gotten away."

Palmer rolled his eyes without her noticing, then flopped to his side to look at her. They were laying in her bed, in an apartment she'd procured with a fake name and a hefty down payment. It was probably risky living in an apartment in the middle of Arlington, but, hiding in plain sight seemed to work well half the time. "Baby, if we keep this going on, I don't think Rabb will last any longer."

No more than ten minutes after Nikki whacked Harm with the piece of lumber, paramedics were called in to take an unconscious Harmon Rabb Junior away. Unfortunately, in his amusement, Palmer hadn't realized that Gibbs had his crew searching the area, including the rooftops. In his haste to escape unseen, he hadn't managed to figure out where the medics were taking the Commander. 'Oh well,' He thought with a shrug. Keeping Harm out of the game for a while was probably a good thing. He knew he was playing with fire, walking a tight rope with the only person that seemed to be able to decipher his tricks. So, having Nikki take him out of the game wasn't a bad thing, not at all.

With a grin he thought to Mac, who he had found earlier that day engrossed in the surveillance equipment he'd left her as a gift. No doubt she would be worrying if she saw that Harm never came home. Perhaps he could use that for some purpose? And even if he couldn't, he knew he had part of her now because she was so afraid to do something wrong and have Harm get hurt because of it. 'Ah, the Colonel.' He thought with a genuine smile. She was beautiful and so strong and willing. Why hadn't he thought of her before? Instead of going after the psychiatrist Harm was dating? He knew that Harm and Jordan were going sailing that weekend and could have, very easily, taken Mac. No one would have bee the wiser until Monday morning when the Colonel – who was a Major at that time - didn't show up for work. Ah, well, he had her now, didn't he?

Now if he could only get rid of Halloren and have Mac come around to him things would be perfect. Palmer would be lying if he said he didn't want Mac. It was the contrary, watching her had some sort of perverse pleasure for him that went beyond her good looks. No, he wanted her, all of her, and, eventually, he would get her. "What are you thinking about?" Nikki asked and Palmer bit back a groan, the woman always picked the wrong moments to interrupt his thoughts.

With a smile, he pulled her close enough for him not to be able to focus much on her face. "You." He lied, kissing her deeply as he rolled them both over so he was laying on top of her. "Only you, baby."

0225 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Mac sat in bed with the briefcase popped open just in front of her. "Where are you?" She said to the screen, noting that Harm, still, hadn't come home. With a sigh she settled against the pillow and shook her head. "Calm down, Marine, maybe he's at your apartment?" Yea, that was it, he was at her apartment, probably looking for clues, right? Palmer didn't get to him, God wasn't that sick or cynical, was he?

But, she didn't have a good feeling at all. In fact, for the past few hours, the knot in her stomach only turned a bit more. There was a feeling she was trying to ignore, something that told her Harm was in trouble. Not like it mattered if he was, because she couldn't do a damned thing about it anyway. With an angry huff, she slammed the case shut and shoved it down the bed. "Damnit, Harm. Damn you!" She didn't know why she was angry at him, actually, she did. If he'd never gotten involved in that stupid case with the Bradenhurst corporation, if he never walked into an installation that wasn't advisable to walk into, then he never would have met Palmer. So, yes, she was angry with him for that, for being an overly thorough investigator.

Cracking her neck, she stumbled off of the bed and stretched. Over in the corner, she had earlier noticed the camera in the room. She didn't know much about surveillance, but given it's trajectory and the fact that it was an immobile camera she knew there were areas in her confines that it would not be able to pick up. Discreetly, she moved towards the bathroom, the one place where there seemed to be absolutely no articles of surveillance.

Earlier today, Palmer had brought her something to eat and left the utensils which she put in the bathroom to wash. Maybe she could use those? Didn't some people actually hack out of their cells using a spoon? It happened at Alcatraz once, right? Mac sat on the head, staring at the spoon and knife. "Yep, you know you are desperate when you start to _wish_ you were MacGyver." Not that it mattered, it's not like she used to watch much of the show anyway. Besides, did any of that stupid stuff actually work? "In Hollywood, maybe."

With a sigh she got on her knees in front of the cabinet, reaching under to her secret hiding place and taking out a few of the things she'd found in the room. Mac wasn't sure what to make out of the matches. She doubted Palmer would have just left them in there, but if he did, what was the point? The sewing kit, she was sure he forgot in the rush of trying to taunt her. Shrugging, she stood up and took the knife. All four of the bathroom walls were tiled up to the ceiling, the floor of concrete and, the ceiling itself was made out of some sort of steel, she'd determined earlier. So, she started at a corner of the bathroom wall where she noticed a water stain manifesting itself through the grout.

If she was right on the money, that area of the wall was vulnerable and not as impermeable as the others. If she was wrong, well, so what? At least she had something to do that didn't involve staring at a screen all day worrying to death about her boyfriend. Frowning, she thought about Harm, it was difficult not to. Without giving it much thought, she'd started calling him her 'boyfriend' but was that really all he was? Smiling, she stared down at the ring on her left finger, the one he'd finally slid home. He hadn't asked her to marry him, no doubt they still had a few things to work out before they went that road, but, she _felt _engaged to him. Harm was it for her. "I'll try to get out of here, just, don't stop searching for me, flyboy." Grabbing the knife, she stabbed it through the grout, watching some of it crumbling onto the floor. She worked her way around, trying to pull the tile off using both the knife and the spoon. As she managed that feat, the knife broke in two. "Shit!" She cursed, glaring down at the other half which she held in her hand. "What kind of crappy steel is this made out of?"

Defeated, she tossed the knife at the wall and slid away, placing her head in her hands as she groaned her annoyance. "I'm not giving up." She told herself, grabbing the spoon, but finding that it's edge was just too thick to use. "Hmmm. . .What if. ." With a shrug, she bent the spoon, breaking it at its end, then ran her finger over the surface. It wasn't very sharp, but she would remedy that. On all fours, she grabbed the spoon and rubbed the edges against the concrete floor, watching as tiny metal shavings came off. Grinning, she grabbed the matches, hoping they would work. Maybe if she heated up the steel, she could sharpen it even more? The first match didn't work, neither did the second third, fourth nor the fifth. When she was down to her last three, one of them managed to spark up, but her very own breath blew it out. She was down to two. Holding her breath, she sparked it then held the tiny flame against the edge of the spoon. Immediately she felt the temperature rising against the metal. This probably wasn't a good thing, she decided, figuring that the cheap steel would likely break when she tried to hack at the wall again. "No, MacKenzie, stay positive. . .stay positive."

Mac held the tiny flame over the spoon until it extinguished, then went back to trying to shave it into some form of sharp edge. Triumphantly, she worked her way back over to the tile and started trying to pull it out. This time, it worked. "Yes! Score one for the Marines!" She said a bit too loud and immediately cringed. "Hmm, keep that enthusiasm to yourself for the moment, Mac." Grinning, she slid the spoon behind a tile, pulling it out.

0936 Zulu  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland

"He'll be fine." The attending doctor, a Lt. Commander named Maytee Menendez, told the group who had been sitting impatiently in the waiting room. "The Commander has a slight concussion and I had to stitch up the gash on his forehead. . . He won't be able to leave for a few days as the Admiral informed me that he had suffered head trauma before, I don't want past problems to compact this current one." She nodded at AJ and smiled slightly. "I believe the prognosis is excellent, he just needs some time to recuperate and rest. . .Rest being the key word."

The men traded looks. It didn't seem like there would be a chance in hell that Harm would ever rest unless someone managed to chain him to the bed. Bud voiced what the others wouldn't say. "Doctor, a couple of days ago his. . .girlfriend, was kidnapped. . .The Commander isn't going to rest until she is found."

Dr. Menendez frowned slightly. "I'm truly sorry to hear about that. My husband is a Marine, he was lost for sometime, I know how badly it affected me." With a nod, she made a few notes on Harm's chart. "What I can do is make sure the nurses know to keep him calm. I don't want to sedate him, but, for his health, if I have to I will. . . Also, it might be a good idea if there is always someone here. People that he knows." She was hoping Harm wasn't going to cause any hurt to himself when he found out that he couldn't just get up and head off. "I'll be on call for the next five hours and even if I am not." She handed a card to AJ. "Those are my private numbers, contact me if I can be of any assistance." She really did feel for Harm knowing, first hand, how it was like to wait for a loved one to be found. "Tell him to keep the faith. . .I did and my husband came home." With a half smile, she nodded and headed off to visit her other patients.

Reluctantly, everyone had gone home to get so much needed rest save for Chegwidden and Gibbs who were sitting in the waiting room. Harm was safe, Creswell made sure to that by sending over Marines to stand guard outside of his room. Ignoring the 'No Cell Phones' sign, Gibbs quietly contacted the office, seeing if new information came in. Since the discovery that was Dr. Nicole Halloren (an: eheheh, I make her sound like one of the Seven Wonders of the world! LOL Ahem, back to the story . .) they had been pushing overtime hoping to find some sort of lead. So far, they found none. With a defeated sigh, he closed his phone and gripped it in his right hand. "Is this guy really this good, Admiral?"

AJ nodded then took a sip of the, now cold, high octane, hospital coffee. It wasn't that bad, actually. By SEAL standards, it was very weak. "I don't know him as well as Rabb. . .Hell, Rabb doesn't know him that well either. . .but, he's fooled us. He has to be good if he's gotten out of Leavenworth a few times."

Gibbs nodded, there was that. "I have some of my staff down there, making sure none of the guards had something to do with it." Though, he didn't think it mattered. If the information that both Harm and Webb had gave him about Palmer was not over fabricated, the man _really_ was that good. "I never understand these lunatics that have to involve other people, instead of those who they are really after. . .And I've seen some odd cases. It just never ceases to amaze me."

"Palmer, unfortunately, is more than just a lunatic. . .He's well trained and psychotic. His record is scary. And to think there are many more like him running around."

That's something that Gibbs had been thinking of as well. How could people just turn their backs on their line of work, especially when it meant they were protecting their country? "What's really scary is to think that, at some point, he was working on our side. . .And somehow he turned."

AJ had thought about similar things, especially as the JAG. How many officers and enlisted had they defended and prosecuted that had been, once, loyal patriots and then, turned against their country because things didn't go their way. "Makes you wonder about your own state of mind, doesn't it?" During Vietnam, he had many thoughts of just giving up, leaving the Navy, the SEALs and everything he stood for. They were rough times. Friend after friend after friend had been slaughtered by the opposition. But, he persevered because he wasn't a quitter and he would be damned if he'd let his country down.

1020 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Mac had long since taken a break from trying to find a way out, she was now laying in bed trying to get some rest. She'd managed to tear up some of the wall behind the head, hoping that neither Palmer nor Halloren would walk in and see it. She flushed the particles down, save for the pieces of tile which she hid at the back of the cabinet under extra rolls of toilet paper. Her hands were raw, slightly chaffed, and allergies that she was sure she never had were rearing their ugly head. Mercifully, Palmer had left a kit for her of feminine products which included some cream which she had poured onto her hands. They had felt better then, but as the cream began to dry, she could already see the damage that she had done. Tomorrow, she would make another effort and use her socks to protect her hands.

Turning over, she glanced towards the small table and the case that was sitting on top of it. "Don't do it, MacKenzie." She told herself, but even as she was trying to force herself not to move, her body overrode her mind. Slowly she walked to the table, sat on the chair and propped open the case. It took a few seconds, like usual, before the images of Harm's apartment came into view. He still wasn't there. "Palmer if you did something to him. . I'll."

"You'll what?" Mac turned swiftly, noting that she was really losing her touch if someone could just sneak up on her like that. "Tell me, Sarah. . .I want to know what you are planning to do to me." He sat on the edge of the bed, as usual, with a gun trained on her. They weren't taking any precautions and she felt foolish for making a break for it when she did. Maybe, if she hadn't, they'd have been a bit more relaxed. Palmer glanced at the suitcase, amused at the time the Colonel seemed to spend with it. "You're like a junkie to HarmTV."

Mac shrugged and settled herself back into the chair, trying to be the ever strong, ever willful Marine. "Certain shows have that addictive quality." She said with a smile, then, slowly closed the case, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of watching her fall apart. "What do you want, Palmer?"

Standing, he reached around and pulled out a pair of handcuffs which he dangled from his index finger. "I want you to put these on." He said with a cool voice, tossing the cuffs across the room so that they slid towards Mac's feet. Without question, she did as told, snapping them on as best as possible. Not taking any chances, he slowly walked towards her, then tightened the grips on the cuffs. "Now, get up." Once she did, he got piece of dark fabric and wrapped it around her head, covering her eyes as he tied it.

"What are you doing?" She finally asked as fear started to course through her veins. Mac had seen the ways he'd been looking at her. At first, it wasn't _that_ unnerving, but now, as she stood in such a vulnerable position, she was worried towards what his intentions would be.

Palmer grinned. He ran a hand down Mac's arm, noting how quickly she got goose bumps from the light touch. 'Ah, so she responds to me.' He told himself, that grin becoming even more confident. "We're going on a little trip, Sarah. . .just you and me."

She resisted slightly and for her efforts got the barrel of the gun shoved, painfully, into a rib. "Don't." He pushed her across the room, out the door and down the catwalk. Then slowly, he led her down the steps that she once fell down from. "I thought you'd broken your neck when I saw you take a spill from these."

Mac grunted as her hands being cuffed made it seem more precarious than it was. "I wish I had."

"Why do you talk like that? Don't you like spending time with me?" He got her to the last step, then led her through the building towards a waiting van.

"Truthfully? No, I don't, Palmer." Mac still couldn't understand why he was so damned gentle with her. . .well, most of the time. He carefully led her into the back of the van and this time, into a cushiony seat. "Ah, upgraded?" Though she couldn't see, immediately she felt the difference. Maybe he had some sort of a heart after all?

Palmer grinned. "I realized you were tossing and turning all over the place the last time, I figured you needed a break." He buckled a seatbelt, then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Enjoy the ride."

Mac waited for him to step out then rubbed her check on her shoulder. "Ewww. . .I probably need a rabies shot now." With a sigh, she helped ease, some, but not all of the tension. Where the hell was he taking her?

"Oh, I knew I forgot something." Palmer stepped back into the van crouching he way over to her. "I am sorry, Sarah, but you turn my brain to mush, sometimes." Grinning, he pulled out a syringe. "I'm sorry about this, but it's for the best, I promise."

"What the hell!" She yelped as Palmer injected the needle into her neck, pushing down on the plunger until all of the clear, white, liquid disappeared into her body. Maybe she shouldn't have joked with herself about the rabies shot? "Palmer. . .I'll. . .you'll. . ." It didn't take anymore than ten seconds for the drug to work it's magic and for Mac to be unconscious.

Removing the needle, he stared at her for a moment. "So beautiful. . .Someday, someday." Giving her another kiss on the cheek, he headed out of the back of the van and around to the passenger's side.

1850 Zulu  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland

AJ shifted slightly on the guest chair and turned to look over at Gibbs who was sitting on another chair rattling off information into his cell phone. "What's going on?"

Gibbs regarded the former SEAL for a moment, then shook his head. "I am not entirely sure, Dinozzo says that Webb contacted him, then put him on hold."

"Sounds like Webb." AJ chuckled slightly, then turned to look at Harm who was sleeping rather peacefully on the hospital bed. Since he'd been brought in, the Commander had woken twice, each time, when he'd become agitated, the nurses would send him down into another drug induced dreamland. Thankfully, he wasn't showing any signs of restlessness as he slumbered. Sighing, AJ shook his head again, Harm was right about one thing: this wasn't fair.

"What! Where!" Gibbs didn't mean to yell, but as Dinozzo relayed the information, he couldn't help the feeling of elation. "Grab my equipment from headquarters, I'll meet you there. Don't do a damned thing until I get there, you got me?" He snapped his phone shut and stood up in one fluid motion.

AJ stood as well. "What's going on?"

"We have a lead, my team thinks it's a good one. . .They saw a man matching Palmer's description stopping to put gas in a white van just outside of DC. Agent Todd was contacted and followed him to some sort of abandoned warehouse in Virginia."

The former SEAL stood there, slightly shaken. "I wish I could go with you." He said, in all honesty he wanted to make sure Palmer got what he deserved. He also felt he needed to protect Mac from something, though he was sure it had to do with redeeming himself in the face of his two top officers. "But someone needs to stay with Harm, I owe it to him." Since the time he stepped out of JAG, he'd had a chance to evaluate points of his life. For whatever reason, he was acting like a tyrant along the time when Webb and Mac went missing in Paraguay. He never should have let her go in the first place and only did because, he figured that she and Harm needed that time apart to sort out their lives. He never would have thought things would escalate so far from anyone's control. "I owe it to her too."

Gibbs lightly smacked AJ's arm and smiled. "You're a good man, Admiral. . .I'll contact you once I know something more." And with that, the man was gone in a rush.

The drive out of Bethesda had gone quite smooth. By the miracle that is modern technology, Gibbs managed to keep in touch with Kate and the teams that were, now, situated around the warehouse. Joining up with his partner, Gibbs slipped into a space just behind her car, which was, at least three blocks up the street from the warehouse. "About time." She said, adding a smile as she slid a set of binoculars over to him. "Dinozzo is on the West side with a team." Kate said, pointing in that general direction then glancing towards the warehouse and the van that was still parked in the loading dock.

Through the whole drive, Gibbs had thought up of different scenarios how all of this could work out. Obviously, the element of surprise, was the best idea, but, what if this was part of Palmer's little game? "What do you think, Kate? Are we walking into a trap?"

"I thought the same thing." And she'd tried to disprove it, because, occasionally, even the smartest of 'bad guys' could do stupid things. It was those stupid things that eventually got them caught. "Truth is. . .I don't know. But, if it isn't a trap and we let this bastard get away, there is no telling what will happen to Colonel MacKenzie."

Gibbs nodded. "Do we know if she's in there with him?" If they didn't, they would soon enough. According to Webb, there was a high powered infrared camera which was used on high profile cases, that could spot people, by way of body heat, even through several layers of wall, from a few hundred feet away.

Kate sighed as she shook her head. "No." She took the binoculars that he handed back to her and raised them to her eyes. "We need to make a move and soon. We know he's in there, all sides of the warehouse are surrounded and no one has walked out. He's a sitting duck."

Though they gave the participants an adrenalin kick, Gibbs _hated_ raids. Simply put, they had the potential to go _very_ wrong, even if the crew was perfectly trained. You just didn't know about the person sitting inside and what their frame of mind was. Worst of all, you often didn't know, as moments like this, if the person inside was setting a trap. "Tell everyone they have ten minutes to suit up. We'll go on my mark. . .Where's my gear?" Pointing to the back seat of the car, Kate motioned to Gibbs, then got on the radio to all of the teams.

Gibbs took off his sports jacket and shirt, slipping on the bullet proof vest and NCIS field jacket along with the NCIS baseball cap. Opening up a large duffle, he pulled out a rifle, making sure it was loaded before checking the other rifle that was sitting inside the duffle. Into the pocket of the jacket he slipped in a wireless transmitter who's cable ran up in to a headset and microphone that he placed over the cap. "Testing, one, two, testing."

"We hear ya loud and clear, Boss." Dinozzo's voice came over the headset and with one glance at Kate, he knew they were ready to move in.

As they were about to make their way around the other buildings in order to shield themselves from any prying eyes, a car drove up behind Gibbs' and out stepped one Clayton Webb. "What the hell is he doing here?" Kate asked, turning to Gibbs who was wondering the same thing. Yes, some CIA field agents had been on loan to NCIS for this little mission, but never, at any time, was it discussed that Clayton Webb would be joining in.

Clay stepped up to the pair holding a briefcase that carried the infrared camera. "Glad I got here on time." He said with a half-smirk, placing the case on the trunk of Kate's car. "We need to get in a little closer to set it up."

Gibbs glared at the CIA agent with a raised eyebrow. "What are you doing here Clay?"

He chose to ignore the question, going around to his vehicle to pull out his bullet proof vest. Taking out a radio, he communicated with his men that were also shadowing the warehouse. Covert operations, such as these, weren't his specialty, in fact, he'd only gone on, maybe, five; none of which were successful. However, he _had_ to be there in case Sarah was in the building. Simply put, he wanted to be the hero, to show Mac that he, just like Harm, had that superhero ability. "Look Gibbs, I know you got here first, but I care _deeply_ for the Colonel. . .I think you'd be a better man if you just gave me the lead on this."

Kate gave one glance at Gibbs and instantly knew, by the squaring of his jaw, that the man was _this_ close to throttling the spook. "My crew has been doing this for quite some time, Webb. We practice raids all of the time. I trust my team and I don't have to second guess them. . . From what I hear, nothing you put together _ever_ goes right and I am not putting my team on the line for you."

"And yet, _I _wasn't the one who _wrongfully accused_ someone of murder."

Ooh, that shot really hit home. Immediately, Kate stood between both men, holding Gibbs back with a firm hand against his chest as he tried to grab Webb. "Gibbs, he isn't worth it. . ."

Giving up, Gibbs grabbed the case off the back of the trunk and glared at Webb. "You're doing what I tell you to do. Your team . . .is _also_ doing what I tell them to do. . . And if you don't like that Webb, take a hike." He shoved another headset at Webb. "Put that on and make sure _your_ team is on channel eighty two." The tone of his voice left no room for negotiation and as he stalked off with the briefcase in hand, Clay followed along like a puppy dog that had just been reprimanded.

It didn't take too long for them to get into position and the ideal location to use the infrared camera. Webb set it up, immediately noting that there were two warm bodies inside of the building and that they were located on the second floor. "Okay, team two try to find a way in through the back. Team one, we're going straight in through the loading docks."

The teams headed off, keeping radio silence as they scurried across the streets, towards the building. Gibbs headed in first, then went Webb and Kate, walking through the loading docks with the other three members of the team. Twelve people in total, a mix of CIA and NCIS headed, as quietly as possible into the building. "We're in." Gibbs whispered over the line, hearing similar words reciprocated over the line.

As they began heading up the front steps, Kate whipped a hand out, stopping Gibbs. "Something is burning." She said, pointing upward to the smoke that was starting to fill the high ceilings. "We need to hurry."

They double timed it up the steps, coming to a stop in front of a long hallway. At the very end, there was another set of steps that team two were scaling. If there was someone in the building, they had no where to go but out the windows and it was doubtful Palmer would do such a thing. As the teams prepared to move forward, an explosion shook the building sending agents rolling down steps, others were flung to their backs.

A thick cloud of dust and debris covered the area. As it settled, small patches of flames were licking in the room the explosion came from, illuminating the hallway in an ominous orange glow. Coughing, Gibbs came to his feet, grunting slightly as he stretched, getting the kinks out of his body. "Kate? You alright?" He reached a hand out, pulling her up from the spot she settled into. Once the explosion hit, his first thought was to cover her body with his own.

"Just peachy." She wheezed out, moving her body, thanking that nothing was broken. Looking around, she tried to spot Webb, but he'd already come to his feet and was running down the burning hallway. "Webb! Get back here!" She turned to look at Gibbs and offer some suggestion on how to proceed when a yell, once that sounded like a man's reverberated the walls followed by two thuds.

"Stay here!" Gibbs yelled, then headed after the agent, shielding himself from the flames as he followed Webb into the room where the explosion came from. "Damnit Webb!" Taking five steps into the room, in the middle of the chaos, he found the agent laying flat on his back, holding a spot on the back of his head which was bleeding. "You idiot. . .I told you to stay put." As Clay was about to answer, there was the sound, one that caught them both by surprise.

"Help! Help me, please!" Grabbing his pistol, seeing as the rifle was knocked out of his hands from the blast, Gibbs held it tightly as he walked farther into the room. "Someone, please, help me!" It was a woman's voice, though he couldn't tell who's it was. Squinting his eyes, trying to shield them from the smoke and flames, he managed to spot a woman sprawled on the ground with a desk pinning her down. "Help. . ." As he got to her, his eyes widened slightly. It was Mac. "Thank. . . God. . ."

He put the pistol into the holster, then worked quickly on removing the heavy desk off of her. Using the light of the flames, he was able to check her quickly, making sure nothing was broken. "Ok, Colonel, I am going to carry you out of here. Alright? Colonel?" But she wasn't answering. "Damnit!" He checked her pulse, relieved to find one, but disliking that he would have to carry her out, this would have been easier if she were conscious. As best as possible, he pulled her up fireman style and started to walk out of the room.

"Not so fast." Palmer stood in front of him, holding a knife. The two men stared at each other, both unsure of what they should do. But, as luck would have it, Gibbs, thankfully, didn't have to do much, the building did all of the work for him. With a loud, crashing noise, part of the ceiling came down over him, pinning the man down. Without a second thought, Gibbs headed out of the room, moving down the hall as swiftly as one could, holding another body.

He made it down the steps and outside, yelling for someone to call an ambulance. There was another loud crash and an explosion that could be felt even outside of the building. "Is every one out?" He asked, asked Kate who was helping Webb who was pressing a field jacket onto the back of his bleeding head.

Kate shook her head. "I don't know, I think we all made it out." At least, she hoped so, that explosion had taken everyone by surprise. She helped Webb sit on the curb, then moved towards Gibbs, helping him place Mac on the sidewalk across from the warehouse which was, now, an inferno. "Is she alright?"

Gibbs looked down at Mac and sighed. "She'll be fine." Rifling through his pockets, he took out a cell phone and tossed it at Kate. "Call Bethesda, I think Rabb might want to know that we found her." Turning slightly, he glared at Webb who was looking up at him in confusion. "You have a problem with that Webb?"

Any problems that he did have were stuffed down, this wasn't the time for him to try and win Mac back, especially since it looked like Harm had alliances of all kinds. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
nk - He'll have to take a bit more, so will Mac actually. ;) But I will redeem myself in the next story which would be my version of S11 of JAG if they would have gone their seperate ways. It's a cool story, I get to rebuild their friendship. ;) Nicole Halloren. Nicole/Nikki is the nam eof one of my high school friends. I haven't kept in touch and out of the blue on classmates(dot)com, she found me and we started chatting and it was the night Iw as sitting around trying to figure out what name to give the shrink that should have her head shrunk. ;) Halloren, not a clue, that came out of the blue. Most names of characters do. I liked the name though, sounds professionalish.

Cristinia - I agree, Amen for fanfiction and thank you to everyone who is still writing! You are keeping us entertained. Happily entertained:) This Dr. is a person who is easily manipulated. Then again, I think Palmer could manipulate people. at least, in my world, he can. ;)

XBlue - :Slides over a fiver: Happy? ;) Yea, dood, anything that fixes Paraguay is a good thing. Just thinking about ATW2 makes me ill. :P WTF crack were TPTB on? I still don't get it. ;)

mariarita - At the end everything will be cool. Just the road getting there is fun to write. ;)

Feverish - How's the Harm Clone? ;)

Ink I forgot to mention it in the previous chapter since it was, sorta, AJ's point of view as he went around trying to getHarm. But, she belted him with a two by four she found in the alley. He'll be okay. ;) I'll kiss his boo boo's better :efg:

aserene - The "Not interested" thing cracked me up because you could just SEE the look on Harm's face like - ewww no!

mechanical - yes, eventually, it will be all roses. ;)

jaggurl - They did find her! See! It's Mac! She's going to bethesda too:)

minorcadence - la la la la la, I'd be in a good mood too if I din't have to have another frigging wisdom teeth yanked. But, past that, la di da, life is swell. ;)

LtJGMeg - Harm will be okay, his hotness will be at my house, in my room, and I'll be nursing him back to health. Hehehe. ;)

jtbwriter - Hmmm selling tickets to Mac beating up Halloren. Damn! I like it! I might do it! Five bucks a ticket! ;)


	15. Bittersweet Reunion

This part is odd and quick. Though the chapter is nearly 10 pages long, it goes by quickly and it was purposely done so because I didn't want to dwell on a) the CIA, b) NCIS, c) any medical mumbo jumbo and d) getting them OUT of the hospital. I didn't mean to take THIS long to post this part, it just happened, some sections I wasn't happy with and couldn't figure out how to do it without jumbling it too much. :Shrugs: So I am picky, sue me. ;)

But, it is setting up something they need to work through and yes, Mac's current emotions are supposed to be confusing and off kilter, work with me here, I know where I am going with it. ;) Expect a bomb in part 16 and an answer to a lot of questions in part 17.

Enjoy!  
Jackie.

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, Wuchel, minorcadence, mechanical, mariarita, anyone else I missed for the feedback :)

PART 15 – Bittersweet Reunion

September 18, 2005  
2130 Zulu  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland

Sometimes it happens that you just don't want to wake up. Other times, you need to be brought out of a nightmare that you can't seem to bring yourself out of. As Harm's aquamarine eyes opened, he felt both things at once. For the first time in forever, he was having a pleasant dream, one of him and Mac. She had on a pretty sundress and him a simple, white suit as they spoke their vows, barefoot, on the beach near his parent's home. She was radiant and so beautiful with her swollen belly carrying the child both of them dreamed of. It was so sweet that he had to catch his breath. It was all he ever wanted.

But, some voice was bringing him out of that dream and into the nightmare that was his currently life. A life where, somehow, he'd allowed Palmer to take her from him. He glanced up, seeing AJ hovering over him with a look of complete elation. As he brought himself out of the drug induced fog that filled his mind, Harm started to realize he was in a hospital. When the hell had that happened? Better question, _what_ the hell happened?

His former CO was saying something to him, but he couldn't hear. As Harm tried to lift his head up, he felt a sharp pain on his forehead. And that's when it hit him: the girl, the alley and a piece of wood which she had used to hit a home run with his head. Then, something else hit him, which was when he started to listen to what AJ was saying. "Harm? Didn't you hear me?" He glanced up at AJ again, this time furling his brow. Something was going on. "They found her."

They found her? He furled his brow again, groaning at the slight influx of pain. His head felt like it had been squashed, mangled. A headache was threatening to erupt. "What? Who?"

AJ stared, wide eyed before, practically yelling, "Mac! They found Mac."

Now that managed to knock the fog completely out of his brain. "Mac?" Harm's eyes widened and in a second flat he jumped off the bed, coming to his shaky feet. "Where is she? I have to see her." He brushed by AJ, ignoring his plight to stop him from moving. "Is she okay? Did he hurt her!" The questions were going a million miles a minute, faster than his mind can really formulate a fully coherent thought. All he knew was that she was found and she wasn't by his side, which didn't seem like a good thing. "Is she? . . .Where is she?"

"Harm, the doctor needs to look you over. I promise. . .I swear to you I'll take you to her, just stay here." AJ grabbed Harm, tugging him back to the bed, but the younger man resisted. "She's here, Harm. . In the hospital. . .She was hurt, but she's alive. . ."

As he started coming off of the sudden adrenaline high, his body was protesting to his movement. With a sigh, he leaned up against the bed, his body threatening to shut down again. "She's alive?" He glanced up at AJ who nodded. "How? Who found her?"

AJ helped Harm onto the bed, then clicked on the button that would bring the hospital personnel to the room. "It was a joint operation with NCIS and the CIA. Just calm down, I'll take you to her."

Harm nodded, feeling as badly as he was, he knew he'd do her no good anyway. He couldn't very well collapse and worry her, he'd already been worrying her enough. "Have you seen her?"

"Yes." Sighing, he slid back into the guest chair. AJ tried, as best as possible, to shield his emotions away. There was something he wasn't telling Harm, something he wasn't sure exactly how to explain. "She'll be fine." He said, trying to reassure himself more than anything. But, would she really? And if things weren't alright, how much more could Harm and Mac take? It took no more than half an hour for the doctor to release Harm. Everything was medically fine with him and with the promise that he'd rest until he had to head back into the office, they let him dress and leave his room.

Just outside of Mac's room, Webb was trying to gain entrance, but a certain NCIS agent would have nothing of it. "Webb, shouldn't you be resting? Taking care of that head of yours?" Gibbs pointed at the bandage that was wrapped around Clay's head. He would be fine, unfortunately, but had to be given some stitches to seal up the gash at the back of his head. "The doctors said she _needed_ to rest. That means, that you aren't allowed to go in there."

Clay came nose to nose with the NCIS agent, his eyes narrowing slightly, but Gibbs wasn't even slightly fazed. If anything, he was just amused by Webb's childish antics. "I am responsible for her, alright, Gibbs."

Gibbs just chuckled. "From what I hear, Rabb's responsible for her. _Not you_."

"Oh yea, and he's done a great job at that. He let a woman belt him over the head. . . He let Palmer take Sarah!" A hand on his shoulder stopped any other words from coming out of his mouth. Turning slightly, he found a certain, tall, Naval officer glaring him down. "Harm." He gulped out as he turned to fully face him. The man just, did not, look pleased.

"I am pretty sure, Webb, that had I not gotten involved in trying to disprove your first fake death, Palmer wouldn't have such a grudge against me." He moved around the spook, ignoring the looks that both AJ and Gibbs gave him. "Excuse me."

Gibbs placed a hand on his chest, stopping the tall, Naval officer. "Harm." The man across from him looked completely frazzled that the NCIS agent bothered to use his first name. It was usually 'Rabb' or 'Commander.' "Palmer is dead."

Now that definitely had Harm's attention. "You're sure?"

"Yes." Gibbs said with a nod. "I carried the Colonel out of there, I saw the ceiling fall on him. . . There's no way he could have survived." And he truly believed that, in fact, he would have sworn on his own life that Palmer was as good as gone.

"Then it's over." Moving away from them, Harm reached out, placing a his hand on the handle to Mac's room. He took a deep breath, hoping this wasn't just a dream that he would wake out of. Pushing the handle, the door swung open and he slowly walked inside. All but one of the curtains were drawn, giving the room a cozy feeling. His eyes immediately went to the woman laying on the bed and he nearly collapsed from the joy of seeing her. She was slumbering, he noticed, seeing the slow, even rise and fall of her chest.

Outside, Gibbs and AJ exchanged a look. "Did you tell him?"

With a frown, AJ shook his head. "I couldn't. . . But, it will be okay." He hoped.

Inside, Harm took a chair and gently tugged it over to the side of the bed. He wanted so badly, to wake her, to pull her into his arms and never let her go. But, seeing her sleeping so peacefully, he didn't have the heart to wake her. Instead, he just sat there, watching her sleep, thanking God and every saint in-between for this miracle. It was a little while later, when those brown eyes met his. "Hey." He said softly, smiling as she began to stir.

Mac's brow furled and she backed slowly off of to the other end of the mattress. She raised an eyebrow in question as a frown came across her face. "Harm?" She questioned slightly, glancing at him as if she wasn't really sure who he was. "You're Harm, right?"

Chuckling slightly, he leaned forward, trying to take a hold of her hand, but she pulled away slightly, then, reluctantly slid her hand into his larger one. "Why are you asking me that?"

Staring down at their joined hands, she felt a warmth inside, and odd feeling, but it was rather nice. "I feel like I know you." She said, keeping her eyes slightly downcast, not wanting to look him straight in the eye. "I do know you, don't I?"

Harm sat there, frozen. He breathed slowly, his breath hitching slightly. "Marine, if this is a joke, I'm not laughing."

"Marine?" Alright, so that really wasn't a good thing. "I'm a Marine?" She slowly slipped her hand out of his and placed it on her lap.

So, that's why AJ had been giving him an odd look, maybe that of a little apprehension. They knew about this. "You don't remember things?" She shook her head, timidly keeping her eyes away from his. "What do you remember?"

Mac shrugged, then leaned back and closed her eyes. What did she remember? Well, that was, kind of easy. "Last thing I remember. . .You and I. I think we were fighting. . .It was at your apartment?. . . I wanted to leave, but you asked me to stay."

"What else?" Harm let out a sigh of relief, at least, she remembered something recent. "Do you remember what happened after that?"

Hmm, now that was a bit difficult. She furled her brow again, then nodded slowly. "I. . .I don't know. . .there was a man, Charlie? Charles. . .Claude? Cl. . ."

"Clark?" He supplied.

With a grimace she nodded. "He. . .did. . .I, I think. . ." Frowning, she looked up at Harm with a question in her eyes. "He held me captive?"

"He took you a few days ago. . ." Slowly, he reached forward trying to take her hand and was thankful that she allowed him to. "Do you remember us? You, me, our relationship?"

Mac smiled a slow, lazy smile. "I remember being with you at the beach." That was actually a very, very nice and fond memory. "I think. . I. . .well." How would she say this? It was certainly going to hurt his feelings, but there was only one way she could put it. "I thinkI loved you." She put stress on the past tense word.

Harm's face fell slightly, though he tried to mask the emotions. His breath came in sharp, odd intervals and he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. "You _think_ you loved me?" Frowning even more, he wasn't very sure he wanted the answer to the next question. "You're not sure?"

How do you tell someone that, it's possible that you never loved them to begin with? She again averted her eyes from him, confused between this odd hatred of him and, at the same time, some sort of feeling of love and admiration. "No, but. . ." She sighed deeply. "I don't know. . .it's hard to explain." She saw the blank look on his face, noting he was about to ask her to explain it, so she saved him the trouble. "Part of me hates you. . .the other part of me, it's confusing. . . But, we're supposed to be together. . .if that makes sense."

If that makes sense. Well, hell no, it didn't! She hated him and she was confused? Christ, it was just out of a stupid soap opera. Frustrated he ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. At least she said they were supposed to be together. And well, he, sort of, hated her right after their Paraguayan adventure. He sure as hell was angry with her and Mac had to have been angry with him. Maybe that's what brought the feelings up? Some residual something or other that brought back the feelings from post-Paraguay. Shaking his head, Harm couldn't help but be disgusted that their relationship actually had categories: Before Returning To Flying, After Sydney, After Paraguay and he was sure that there was one new category: After Christmas, signifying his 'death' and everything that happened as a result of Temir and Levine's handy work.

An hour later, Harm and AJ sat in the office of Commander Kevin Zacher, a specialist in brain trauma. "She has an odd case of selective amnesia."

'No shit!' Harm felt like screaming, but bit back his words with a shake of his head. "How 'selective' is selective?"

Zacher sat up in his chair, how could he explain this to them? That though they've done an MRI and tested her thoroughly, nothing conclusive could be found. "The problem here, gentlemen, is that we don't know. . . The MRI looks fine, though she did take a slight blow to the head, everything is normal."

Normal? Nothing about _that_ Mac sitting in the room was normal. "Doc, you have got to have more to go on. . . What could have caused this?"

"From what the Admiral here has told me, she's been through a pretty severe trauma." Both men in front of him nodded. "Well, it's not uncommon for these sort of things to just manifest themselves." Seeing that he wasn't getting through to either man, Zacher sighed and leaned against the desk. "Because of the stress she's been through, Colonel MacKenzie's subconscious is _choosing_ to forget some parts of her life."

Words flew out of Harm's mouth before he could sensor them. "And the only thing she remembers is _me_?" He sounded as if he were appalled that it would be the case.

AJ glared at him, leveling Harm with a gaze that was equal to all of the others he gave as his CO. "Is that a bad thing, Commander?"

Harm all but came to attention in his seat. "Yes, sir!" Wincing inwardly, he scrambled for a better answer. "I mean, no, sir. . .But, she has a life." Turning to Zacher he spoke franticly. "She's a Lieutenant Colonel in the Marines, a JAG officer. . . She has clients, cases, _friends_ that need her to be her. . .These are things that shouldn't be forgotten"

Zacher sighed, hating this part of the job when all of the equipment in the world couldn't give a tiny bit of tangible evidence as to what was really wrong. "I understand that, but there's _nothing_ we can do. . .This might go away in an hour, a day. Then again, it may take months. . . years. . ."

"Or forever." Harm added, voicing what he knew the doctor' wouldn't deliberately say. But, he knew a bit about the condition having suffered it himself. "I had amnesia once. . .And I do remember how it felt to know people but not know people. . .How bad it felt to have my mind pick and choose who or what to remember. . .When I came out of it, it affected me because it took a day or two to decipher what actually happened until my mind let the memories fall into place." He sighed and bit his lower lip thoughtfully. "I don't want that to happen to her."

Seeing the pain in loved ones eyes was the only thing that he couldn't get over, the one part of being a doctor that he despised. "If I could do more for her, I would. . .but I can't. . .As it is, I can't even recommend to keep her here." Looking at his chart, he found the Commander's name under 'contact' information. "It's listed that you have her medical power of attorney, so we'll be releasing her into your care." Standing he shook each of their hands then sighed. "I wish I could do more." So did Harm.

0023 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North Of Union Station

"I'm just going to grab a few things." Harm said as he crossed the room and headed up the steps to his bedroom. On the drive over he had decided that what was best for her recovery was for it to be spent in her apartment, amongst her things. The drive over had been quite silent and only the low murmur of a contemporary music channel kept the tension at a minimum.

A few times Mac had glanced over at him, her gaze burning him and not in a good way. The woman that could read him like a book was suddenly oblivious that she was making him feel completely lost. He was purposely shutting himself down again, carefully locking his heart away for fear that this latest development would be the fatal blow. As he drove, he couldn't help but think about the past and how ruthless fate could be or rather, how masochistically he and Mac had handled fate. They'd been put into each others lives for a reason. Their past lovers had come and gone, always leaving them together in the end and yet, they never seemed to connect. It took one of the worst tragedies, his 'death', in order for them to realize that the needed to be together. And now, fate was throwing them another curveball.

"Can I get something to drink?" Mac asked and that simple question broken him just a tiny bit more. She'd never asked before. In fact, the first day that they met, he'd pointed her in the direction of the fridge and asked her to help herself. Damnit, even when they were, respectively, dating other people, neither of them had problems rummaging through each other's fridges without so much as a second thought. It was little, stupid things like that which held some sort of hope that they wouldn't lose each other. And now, though she was with him, she wasn't.

Sighing, he sat on the edge of the bed, glad that the louvered windows were turned so that they couldn't see each other. "Yea, help yourself." Harm tried to make his voice sound neutral, but it still came out low and defeated.

Mac didn't even catch on and quickly made a beeline for the fridge. She looked inside, finding all sorts of interesting things. 'He likes to cook, huh?' She thought with a smile. "Do you want something?" Hearing a low 'no', Mac pulled out her drink and slammed the fridge shut.

Harm looked up, seeing a silhouette from the other side of the windows. He was torn between what he should do. Though she remembered pieces of their relationship, he couldn't very well resume things as if they were normal, could he? Wouldn't some moral or even an ethical codes broken if he did so? Worst yet, could he deny himself something that he'd, rightfully, claimed as his? Sighing, once again, he shook his head then grabbed a duffle, which he threw a few items into. Walking to his closet, he grabbed a fresh uniform and then stuck his shoes and cover in the duffel as well.

"Hey." Mac was leaning against the kitchen island smiling at him as she raised a bottle of beer to her lips and took a big gulp.

It took him a good ten seconds, to process that what she was doing wasn't right. It couldn't be more wrong. Harm's eyes grew wide as saucers. The items in his hands slipped out, crashing to the floor as he took four big strides. His right hand extended, yanking the bottle of beer away from Mac. "What in the hell are you doing!" He didn't mean to yell at her, nor did he meant to sound so much like, well, his mother, but he was too shocked and running on autopilot. He placed the beer bottle away from her, then placed his hands on her shoulders, shaking Mac violently. "Why did you do that, Mac?"

While his eyes were wide with shock, hers widened in fear. "I. . ." Had she done something wrong? "I thought you told me I could help myself?" Hadn't he said that? Or maybe she heard him wrong. He'd, thankfully, stopped shaking her, but his eyes just didn't go back to normal. If anything, he was giving her more of an incredulous look than before. "What?" She asked.

"You don't drink, Mac. . .Jesus, what were you thinking?" He admonished, taking his hands off of her, then reaching to empty the beer into the sink.

Mac shrugged. Okay, so she didn't know that. Shouldn't she have known that? "I uh. . . I didn't know." That sounded lame, even to herself.

Taking a calming breath, Harm turned to her, shaking his head slightly. It had, suddenly, occurred to him that maybe _this_ was part of the things she didn't remember. Even though he had his own bought with amnesia, he couldn't tell what people would or wouldn't do. Still, he found it odd that the first thing she picked out of his refrigerator was a beer. Noting she was giving him an odd look, he told himself that he needed to be gentle. "Mac. . .you. . . You're an alcoholic." Seeing her eyes widen, he felt like a complete jerk, but there was no other way to put it. And now, he knew he had to explain a few of the painful details. "You started drinking when you were a teen. . ."

That was news to her! "I don't remember that." She said with a frown, making notes for future references. Sighing, she stared off and frowned. "I don't suppose you'd want to fill me in?"

'No.' He'd wanted to say and, effectively take himself out of this new nightmare, but he was obligated to do this. "I'll fill you in on the way to your place, how's that?"

Mac agreed and made the ride to her place a living hell for him asking question upon question about a past Harm didn't want to rehash. Hell, he knew he didn't know the half of it, only the bits and pieces that she'd been willing to tell him. Mercifully, the moment he arrived outside of her apartment building, Mac had stopped talking.

Harm rode the elevator up with her in silence, then, just as silently headed towards her door and opened it. Mac stepped in first, walking into a wall of darkness. The only light, that which came from the street lamps, cast it's luminance on the walls, creating odd shapes and shadows. Harm flipped the switch on right wall, bathing the room in light.

She walked into her apartment with an air of familiar unfamiliarity. Harm noted that it seemed like she knew this was her place, but, at the same time, wasn't even sure this was her place. A few steps into the room, she turned around, timidly gazing at Harm who was leaned up against the door. "This is my place?" But it sounded like a cross between a comment and a question. Maybe she was just too afraid to ask? "It's cozy."

That it was, he had to agree. He always liked spending time at Mac's apartment. It was cozy, warm and though he loved his apartment, Mac's was just a bit more 'homey.' (AN: And I don't mean the 'yo yo yo wassap dawg!' type of Homey :P ;)) Wordlessly, he trailed his gaze towards her bedroom, but that silent conversation that only he and Mac seemed to have was gone entirely. Instead, she just stood there, staring back at him with an odd expression. "Take a look around, maybe. . .maybe you'll remember more." He practically choked out. "I'll be in the kitchen. . ." He headed off in that direction, knowing that, just because he didn't have an appetite, Mac was probably starving. Hospital food was anything but tasty.

Mac headed slowly into the bedroom. She pressed her palm to the wall, running it up and down, trying to find a light switch. "Damnit, where's the light?" Bumping into the nightstand, she felt her way up the base, finding the switch. Just like everything since she'd walked in the place, it was oddly familiar, yet not. She glanced down at the neatly made bed, with a cream and black covered bedspread and matching pillows. In the center, lay a deep blue nightgown, something that she'd pulled out the day she was taken. She wouldn't remember, but that night she was planning on spending the night, making up with Harm over their little argument. With a sigh, she sat on the bed and shook her head slightly. Something caught the corner of her eye. On the nightstand there was a picture in a wooden frame. Taking it in her hand, she found it to be a shot of her and Harm. They were dressed in what she would describe as 'commando style' and she was standing in front of him. It was in some desert, she deduced wondering when that would have been taken. Grinning, she ran her hand over the silky fabric of the nightgown.

Doing his best with what he found in the cupboards, Harm managed to nuke some pasta in the microwave. He poured some apple juice into a glass and headed into the living room with his impromptu meal. "Mac, I made you something to eat." He put the plate on the coffee table and settled into the sofa with an audible groan. His body was screaming bloody murder, his head starting to pound again. As he brought his hands up to the sides of his head, Mac stepped out of the bedroom wearing the blue nightgown.

It hugged her in all the right places and even some of the wrong ones. Mac bit her lower lip, grinning at the look of Harm with his mouth hanging open. When he didn't make any type of move, she headed towards him, sliding herself onto his lap. She kissed him, hard and passionately, but it wasn't breaking the fog that he was in.

Something inside him screamed that this wasn't right, that something was wrong. But, as her tongue swept across his lips, Harm lost all resolve. Instead, he angled her in a way so that he'd be able to push her onto the sofa. Their lips barely parted as they kissed, but when Harm pulled away to look into her eyes, he saw something there – apprehension, fear, along with the look of a woman who didn't seem sure she knew who he was. And that was the look that killed him, that broke something inside of his heart which she'd previously healed.

With a shaky sigh, he moved off of her, sitting up on the sofa. "I can't do this."

"What!" She practically yelled out as she tried to catch her breath. Mac's mind was swirling at a million miles a minute. She didn't know a man could kiss as good as he did.

Harm kept his back to her, his head settling into his hands as he sighed deeply. "I want this, I do. . .But, not this way, not if you don't really remember me."

Mac sighed. "I remember things, some things."

Turning slightly, he looked at her, frowning at the look of confusion that seemed to be the new face of Mac. "I need you to remember more than just _'some things'_." Standing, he walked around the sofa to the balcony that overlooked the street below. He stood there, waiting for her to finish her meal, not wanting to bump into her anytime soon, and not wanting to leave her alone. That night, they slept in separate rooms, Mac on her bed, and Harm on her sofa. For the first time in forever, it felt really bad to be the good guy. . . . . . . . . .  
martini - I usually end it good. :) Save for a few stories I wrote during Season 9 which, frankly, with the tension of Season 9 it was difficult to do nice endings. :) but, yea it will be a nice ending. I already have an idea of what I am going to do. Shippers will rejoice. I might epilogue it.

dansingwolf - Well, the rest of this should give you plenty of Harm and Mac, maybe not quite the way you'd like but there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel. ;)

Brittany - Oh, I agree about Webb. He's a jerk. He may just get rejected agfain and slugged, can't get enough of that. ;)

mariarita - Well, glad you're having fun:) I try to be different, albiet a bit more dramatic. ;)

Feverish - Hey, at least that is all yours does. Mine, goes through periods where he'll pop open the recliner and start to make 'airplane' noises as he sits there in his flightsuit. It was cute the first few times, but when you have company over. . .well, it's WEIRD. ;) Gotta love him anyway.

aserene - Palmer wasn't thinking, or maybe he was... Hmmm. ;) Weird man!

Abigaile - Yep, more! This is the Torture Series. Had to get thse out of my system. Oddly, they were all three supposed to be "Seperate" stories. But, I saw an opening and now they are a series... hehehe. worked well though!

XBlue - Rehab! I'm making you do rehab::slides over another ten: For the costs of medication, because you are going to need it. CALIX! Dood, duct tape her to the chair, she'll need it. ;)

Laura - You are forgiven for the lack of reveiws. ;) Yea, the NCIS/CIA stuff is like bore, snore, but it's a must or some people will be like "Yo! Why da hell didn't ya put some info on how they found Mac?" Gotta appease the peoples. ;) Plus, having Webb get knocked on his head was fun! ;)

LtJGMeg - Oh yea? So when do you nurse Harm? Just want to make sure that we don't have him on the same nights, you know. Oh, wait, nevermind, I have a Harm clone. :Shakes head: Hey, you can use anything you want on Palmer, he's supposedly dead in my story now anyway. :) :grin:

harmfan - charcoal briquet ROFLMAO! I loved that one. ;) Any nons? I didn't do a through beta of this chapter because I am too tired, but I caught myself. Funny, because, outside of fanfiction I do write none properly. I promise to have a nice ending for Harmy and Mac, okay? Okay, good. ;)

jtbwriter - She tried to spend time with him, but he wasn't in for it. ;) And yes, the NCIS twist was a spur of the moment thingish. It wasn't supposed to be quite that long, but hey, we had to find her some how, right?


	16. Reaching The Breaking Point

I am going to totally try to have part 17 up really soon. Tomorrow I have to have another wisdom tooth yanked so we'll see how that goes. Anyway, how many chapters! I get that question a lot - It's about 20-22 depending on how long the others get. And, good news! There will be an epilogue with a beach scene. :) Get your head out of the gutter you sickos! Yes, I know you like it there, but really, c'mon! Can't be there all of the time... Well, okay, yes you can. ;)

Enjoy! Thanks for all of the encouraging words and yes, I do like worrying you with my stories. ;) grin

Jackie

PART 16 – Reaching The Breaking Point

1610 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

Stretching just didn't seem to iron out all of the aches and pains that only sleeping on a small sofa could produce. Coffee didn't help the exhaustion, though he figured that had a lot to do with getting belted over the head. Mercifully, the headache had stopped though he figured there would be one coming soon. Yawning, he tried stretching out again, groaning as his muscles protested under his skin. It was eleven am and Mac still hadn't emerged from her bedroom. Harm had gone to check on her several times, but was in too much of a peaceful slumber for him to wake her. No doubt all of this had taken a lot of her.

Most of the night he spent in some sort of limbo, his mind coming up with ideas on how he could help her remember. It wasn't as if there was a manual that would help him out. He had nothing to go on save for the doctor's suggestion to let her find her own rhythm. Well, yea, that _could_ work, but Harm wasn't betting on it. There was something in her demeanor, definitely something in her eyes that old him this would be like going down a long, windy road. And he wasn't all too sure that, even if they set down that road, they'd ever reach the end. Harm didn't want to be negative, but the way things had been going, it was entirely too good to be true if they made it out of this one.

Jumping slightly at the knock at the door, he put the coffee down muffling several curses. He made his way to the door, took a peak out of the peephole and then stepped back as he opened the door for AJ Chegwidden. "Admir. .AJ." He corrected with a half grin, then closed the door behind him. "What brings you by?"

AJ stared at Harm for a moment, noting that the younger man looked as if he, literally, hasn't slept in days. So much for that extended rest he got courtesy of the hospital. "I am sorry for dropping in uninvited but I tried your cell phone,  
it went straight to voice mail."

Harm nodded. "Would you like some coffee? I'm overdo for another." He shuffled his way across the apartment and towards the kitchen with a frowning AJ in tow. "Mac's still sleeping. . .I don't have the heart to wake her." Reaching into the cupboards, he took out a mug for AJ and filled it with coffee. "It's close to SEAL grade coffee. . ." He said, not paying attention to the odd looks that AJ had been giving him. "I needed a pick me up this morning."

AJ placed a hand on Harm's shoulder, turning him around slightly. He hated this, seeing a man that was so strong fall apart. "How are you doing, son?" Stupid question, he knew, but he wanted to hear what Harm's response was going to be.

Handing the mug to AJ, Harm shrugged slightly. How was he doing? Well, considering that his girlfriend has forgotten parts of their history, he hadn't slept more than a couple of hours and that headache that was finally gone was slowly rearing its ugly head. . ., "Not well."

AJ frowned even more. This was ridiculous, all of it. "She'll get better, Harm." At least he hoped her amnesia was of the temporary variety. "The MRIs came back fine. . .This is temporary. . . Hell, _you_ scared the crap out of us when we thought you'd forgotten us." Only Harm's amnesia lasted a day or two and, at least, he remembered things, mostly Mac things, but he remembered them nevertheless. It was rather amusing that he didn't seem to remember his girlfriend, Renee Peterson, maybe that was the demise of that relationship? Nah, Renee and Harm were destined to break up, if only things would have worked out between Harm and Mac back then, maybe a lot of this angst and misery would have been over. For sure, he would have considered keeping his position as JAG for a little bit longer. AJ couldn't deny that part of the reason why he hung his hat up had to do with the tension between the two people that he cared for like his children. True, he had acted like an overbearing tyrant, but, damnit, the two of them could drive anyone nuts. Sipping his coffee, he gave Harm a half smile. "She'll be alright."

But, his reassurance didn't help one bit, he could tell if the sad look in Harm's eyes were an indication. "I don't know. . .I'm. . ." He leaned against a cabinet, sighing deeply as he tried to wrestle with what he was feeling. This wasn't easy for him, at all and it wasn't necessarily Mac, it had more to do with him, with things that he thought up of during his restless night. "God, I feel like. . .like such a bastard."

"Why?"

Wants and needs. They were two different things, yet, sometimes, they were so similar. Harm knew what he wanted and he knew what he needed, but he realized that they came in one package that wasn't functioning properly. "Part of me. . . Well, I want her. . .I need her in my life. . .having her back. . .it's everything to me." He didn't ever believe he'd feel _this_ much over anyone. Years ago, he wouldn't have even believed he was the type to settle down. Things change, he changed and the one thing he wanted was, like usual, moving from his grasp. "This isn't her. . .she isn't her. . .And part of me. . . _doesn't want_ this version of Mac."

AJ didn't know what to say to that, though he'd had a similar feeling in regards to Meredith. Back then he was caught between wanting to forgive and not being able to. It was almost is if there were two versions of Meredith, the innocent, aloof person he'd fallen for and the deceitful, liar that he'd come to loathe. With a sigh, he shook his head slightly. "You love her, Harm. . . You have for a long time, so don't give up, damnit."

Harm passed AJ, moving out of the kitchen and settling himself into one of the chairs of Mac's table. "Kind of hard not to give up. . .Everything since Christmas has been brutal." He glanced towards the semi-closed door of Mac's room, his thoughts going back to the woman he fell for verses the one whose eyes were laced with confusion. It was that confusion that scared him. "She's not always as strong as she leads on."

"She's stronger than she leads on. . ." AJ pointed out, knowing, full well Mac's potential and the fact that she seemed to overcome so much.

"I've seen her break down, she's seen me break down. . ."

"She's also intuitive. . .Mac's the first one that figured out Meredith and I went our separate ways." Both men paused and stared at each other, AJ gave Harm a half smile and a shrug. He knew his former protégée was going to question what had happened, so before he could ask, AJ decided to just spill it. "I caught her with another man."

Whatever Harm was expecting AJ to say, that wasn't it. He placed the coffee cup on the table, choking slightly at the swallow he had in his mouth. "What?" He coughed out, taking a deep breath to keep the coughing under control.

AJ patted Harm on the back then took a napkin to help wipe the spilled coffee off of the table. "I guess it was partially my fault, I wasn't paying her much attention, during Christmas I just let her go rather than insist on her staying with me. . I guess I drove her to someone else. . .After all of that, I just. . . I couldn't stay with her. . .I don't think I could've trusted her after that. . . I guess she believed I was losing interest in her."

Losing Interest. Yea, Mac believed that too, which was the complete opposite. How could you lose interest in a person who was so much under your skin, they were a part of you? Even when he tried to hate her, she was still a part of his heart. But this new conversation with AJ made him realize one, slightly scary thing, "I am not sure I'd be able to walk away."

"Hopefully you'll never have to make that decision. . .I don't see Mac as the type to cheat on someone. . .especially you." But this wasn't the Mac they knew anymore and, by the look in Harm's eyes something had happened last night. Something that made the younger man that much more apprehensive about their current situation.

Harm agreed with the assessment that she wasn't the type to cheat. "Honestly. . . I love her so damned much, I'd make it work, unless she told me she just didn't want me." He hated this back and forth feeling of emotions, but he couldn't help it because he held the hope that she would wake up and just remember everything.

"Answer me something, Why did it take so long for you to get together?"

That question had Harm chuckling. It was difficult to answer when he didn't know himself. "I think if you can find that out, you might just figure out the meaning of the universe." They could blame work, significant others, probably a million other things, but the truth was, he didn't know how two people that obviously loved each other could not try, much sooner, to make it work.

"Aren't there better things to do than find the meaning of the universe?" Mac said as she moved through the living room and towards the dinning table. She glanced first at Harm, smiling slightly, then slid her gaze towards AJ. "Hi." She knew him, sort of. There was a picture in her mind of who she was, but, she didn't know much about him. With a sigh, she headed past the two men and into the kitchen.

Harm and AJ stared at each other then stayed silent as the sounds of Mac rummaging around the kitchen filled the suddenly silent apartment. "Mac?" Harm said, but she didn't' answer. "Sarah?" That didn't work either. "MacKenzie!" He yelled out, suddenly frustrated.

With an uncharacteristic and slightly aloof grin, she popped her head out of the kitchen. "You calling me?"

"What are you doing?" Harm asked, slightly confused as to what all of the damned ruckus was about.

She stared at him as if the question cost her something. "Uh, looking for the. . .umm. . .coffee cups." She pointed to the ones on the tables that Harm and AJ were nursing, then blushed slightly. "I don't know where they are."

If possible, that broke Harm just a little more. "They are in the cupboard over the stove." He would have gotten up to show her, but he remembered the suggestion that neurologist gave to let her do things on her own, hoping it would spark a memory.

"Okie dokie." She said, disappearing back into the kitchen.

Shaking his head all Harm could think was, 'This is only day one.'

September 20, 2005  
1810 Zulu  
Virginia

"What do you think?" The building had completely been destroyed though not from the explosion. The warehouse where they had found Mac and Palmer had been consumed by the fire that started to spread. Seeing as it was not in prominent part of town, and the building was scheduled to be knocked down anyway, the fire department took their sweet time to arrive and, by the time they did, the building had fallen in on itself.

Gibbs stood in front of the rubble, shaking his head before looking over at Kate. "Honestly? I am not so sure." He'd seen the ceiling, in all it's fiery fury, come down on Palmer, but that didn't mean everything was alright. How many people have survived through worse, with tons of ruble pinning them down? At first, yes, he would have believed that was the end of the bad guy, but, in real life, bad guys had nine lives. "They should have found something."

Kate nodded, agreeing with Gibbs. "The crew said that there was some accelerant in the chemicals used to make the explosive, maybe it was enough to destroy human remains?"

That was the part that was more than _slightly_ fishy. "The fire itself could not have possibly destroyed bones. It takes at least a couple of hours, 1400 degrees and up to fragment bones and even then there is something left."

"There are sniffing dogs canvassing the area and we are still sifting through rubble." As she turned to look at her partner, she could tell he wasn't pleased with this. The building only had three floors and, granted, they were on the second, but bodies didn't just disappear that easily. "You think he escaped again." She voiced what he wouldn't say, it was her belief as well.

Gibbs walked through a portion that was still smoking slightly. Bending down, he used a pen to pull up a two inch by two inch metal object. It looked like a miniature camera, the types that he knew the CIA and other government agencies used to keep an eye on things. Maybe one of the agents dropped it when they raided the building? 'No,' He thought, that didn't make sense. The CIA was far too cautious to risk any of their equipment getting into the wrong hands. Taking an evidence bag, he slipped the camera in, sealed it up and placed it in his jacket pocket. Straightening, he glanced at Kate who was giving him a worried look. "Okay, let's say there was a chemical. . .Usually the only thing that can do damage to a body that quickly is. . ."

"Acid." She offered with a nod. There were known acids that could burn through just about anything. Granted, there were probably new ones being developed and with the types of contacts that some rogue agents had, it wasn't all that odd to find them scoring ways to get the chemicals needed to make those potent acids. "But, if he needed Colonel MacKenzie and, apparently he did since she was, basically unharmed, he would be stupid to use that stuff around her."

"You know, you have to stop finishing my sentences?" Grinning, he nudged her slightly.

Kate chuckled. "So stop starting mine." Recovering from some good natured banter, she glanced around the area, noting something else was flashing in the sunlight. "What the hell?" Moving carefully, she stopped and used her pen to dig it out. "It's another camera. . .What the hell happened here?"

"My guess, this was all a set up." Gibbs grabbed his phone, cycled through his recent contacts and put a call in to JAG.

"Going to contact Rabb, huh?" Kate asked sighing slightly. "I think they are still in danger." He'd told her earlier about Mac's bought with amnesia and how defeated Harm looked once they were ready to head home. "You'd think the fates have it out on them."

September 23, 2005  
2010 Zulu  
JAG Headquarters  
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm stepped into his office, closed the door behind him, drew the blinds and fell into his chair like a ton of bricks. "Jesus, I've never had my six handed to me that badly." He figured, it may even be best for him just to start packing up his stuff and finding another job. No doubt his client was going to do something about it, the kid had even said so. "Can't blame him." He said with a frown, feeling like he'd gone twelve rounds with Tyson.

Things just weren't getting any better. Actually, the more he thought about it, the worse it got. Mac was alive, so yes, there was a positive, a light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel he was standing in was very long and very dark. Righting himself, he bellowed out "Enter." At the knock on his door. It was Mac, looking completely uncomfortable with her uniform. In fact, he had to, literally dress her the day earlier when they'd come to see the General about Mac's condition and what she would be able to do at JAG.

Even that was bothering him. When in the hell had Mac EVER been uncomfortable wearing Marine Greens? - Never! At least not to his recollection, not even when they've had heavy case loads and had come in to work on the weekends. "Hey." She said with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Add that to another thing that was bothering him.

Basically, Mac just wasn't Mac, at least not the woman that he'd known. 'Christ and it's only been a couple of days!' He thought, rolling his eyes in disgust. "Hey, what's up? What did the doctor say?"

"I'll talk to you later about it. . .It's no biggie." But the look in her eyes said something else, still Harm chose to respect her wishes, swallowing down a sudden fear at the pit of his stomach. "Heard you got your butt handed to you in court today." Now, normally she would have said that in a more. . .jovial manner, but the way she'd said it literally broke him down just a little bit more. She noticed that though and tried to back peddle. "You'll do better tomorrow."

He nodded. "So, has the General been keeping you busy?" Good, yes, change of conversation was in order. Harm pointed to the files she was holding and smiled hopefully. If anything could snap her back, was all of the crap work that General Creswell was giving her. Eventually, that tiger inside of Mac would want to leap out. At least, he hoped.

Mac nodded, smiling ruefully. The General had kept her busy with briefs – grunt work, he called it. "Yep, I have a pile of briefs on my desk."

"Jockeys or Fruit of the Loom?" He said, chuckling slightly, but she didn't get his humor. Groaning inwardly, he slid himself to the edge of his chair and sighed. "So, you remembering anything yet?"

"Yea, some things. . .not all though. . . I can't even remember what my last case was, who it was against and if I had a co-counsel." Though, by the sound of things, she didn't really care either. This Mac wasn't into military things. Grunting, she reached up, tucking her fingers into the collar of the blouse. "Damned uniforms. . . Well." She headed towards his door and grinned back at him. "I am sure you're busy, I sure am. . .catch you later."

And with that, she was gone. Harm leaned against the chair, sending it backwards slightly so he could lay on it. "Catch you later?" He wasn't sure he wanted to see her later. No, that wasn't true, he did. . .just. . . "DAMNIT!" Grabbing a pen, he chucked it across the room watching as it bounced off of the window.

To add more misery to his days, Gibbs had contacted JAG ops earlier in the week about their insecurities of Palmer's death. There were too many questions surrounding it and Harm knew it meant that Palmer was still out there, waiting to strike. He only hoped it was sooner than later.

Dinner ended up being another blow for Harm. Knowing how much she loved steak, he slaved over a hot stove making her a nice, juicy steak with potatoes. She had to stay in a bit later to finish paperwork for a case that Sturgis had on Monday and he decided it would be a treat for her putting up with the new job Creswell had given her. Everyone was giving her chances, helping her out, giving her time to remember. If things didn't change and soon, that would all go away and she'd no longer be in the Marines.

Mac didn't seem happy when she walked in to her apartment and as she stared down at the steak and potatoes on her plate, she looked absolutely repulsed. "Is that meat?"

Harm nodded, he was half about to joke with her, when she began to turn green. "I know how much you love that dead animal, so, being the ever nice, kind, generous, boyfriend that I am I. . ." He didn't even get a chance to finish talking before she bolted across the apartment and to the bathroom. "Damnit."

As he walked into her bedroom, he could hear Mac throwing up in the bathroom. Trying the door had been futile, she locked herself in. Instead, he turned and sat on the bed waiting for Mac to come out. The nights hadn't been going well either. Harm had to use his lawyering skills to force himself into her room. His back couldn't take her sofa anymore and he refused to leave her side. She'd relented and they slept on complete opposite ends of the bed, you could have parked a car between them.

In the middle of the night, she'd wound up on his side and, as was his nature since they'd been together, he wrapped an arm around her, tugging her body closer to his. That was when she woke up, startled that he was touching her. She forced him away from her and then, no more than two minutes later, was straddling his torso trying to seduce him. It was then that he suggested she go back to Bethesda. Shifting quickly from hot to cold was a MacKenzie trademark, but this was ridiculous.

Hearing the bathroom door open, he lifted his head up to see Mac coming out with her cheeks flushed and her face washed. She didn't offer a preamble, just blurted out the words, "I'm pregnant."

'Pregnant.' He should know the meaning of that word, shouldn't he? 'Mac's PREGNANT.' But, after the turmoil of the past year and the problems with endometriosis, he gave up on them ever having children. 'Wait! She's PREGNANT!' His eyes widened as the realization kicked in. "I thought. . .the doctor said. . . Oh My God!" Coming to his feet, he wrapped his arms round Mac, spinning her around the room as his lips descended onto her own. He kissed her as if he'd missed her, pouring all of his love, his heart and his soul into a kiss that wasn't returned.

Instead, once he brought her back to earth, Mac walked away, stopping just in front of her bedroom window. "It's difficult to tell you this."

'Oh no.' Harm thought, conjuring up all of the details he'd read about endometriosis and how difficult and dangerous nine months could become. "What's wrong? . . .Did the doctor say you couldn't carry to term?"

Mac shook her head. "No. . .It's. . .I. . ." There was no getting out of this, though she wished there was another way. Turning to him, she let the words flow, knowing that it would destroy him just a little bit more. "We've never lied to each other. . . I don't think. . .So I can't start now. . ." She paused for effect, took a breath and tossed him the trump card. "The baby. . .it's Clayton Webb's."

Now, that was unexpected so much that he wasn't quite sure what to say. All of the color had drained from his face when she'd stated that there was a problem. Harm would have worried and he would have believed her if it wasn't for this slightly satisfied look on her face. Shaking his head, he laughed wholeheartedly. "Funny MacKenzie. . .You're just a laugh a minute." . . . . .

Feverish - Yep AIRPLANE noises! Or he'll play with this plastic F-14 that i hd to buy him. I have a diecast one and. . .I found him sitting on it. Ever since, I had to hide it and give him a smaller one. Men, really :shakes head:

carby - It was a weird chappie. Actually, this story is just plain jane weird. And oh yes, MAJOR twist coming up. Harm's also going to hae a metaphysical encounter of the odd kind. :D

ltjgmeg - He's nursing YOU this week::Looks up contract: No No No! That's wrong! Where's my agent! Palmer has like 18 lives. ;) God love him... I mean umm hate him. ;)

NK - Wassap? Life gets in teh way, yes. .. like tomorrow, wisdom tooth coming out. Honestly, if them tooths are so damned wise, why don't they knwo which way to grow! Hmmm? AH! So you are the bad girl! You meanie!

bluejay - Just a little more for a very nice, shippery, fluffish resolution. :) I think, but I hate fluf so I'll de fluff it a bit or do it Fluff Jackz style. :) God save us all ;)

abigaile - I am evil and I could do worse. Muahahahaaa! This story is FAR more toned down than it originally was when it was a stand alone.

martini - You know, I've never had a martini. . .No, take it back I've had a chocolate one and. . .Well, guess you can consider a Cosmo as a martini. hehhe. - Anyway, as long as you like where its turning I am happy:D

mariarita - I am different and difficult. ;) And mean and apparently some people think I am evil. Pfff::sticks out tounge: I am an angel. ;) So you still aren't expecting this?

alix - I laughed pretty hard with that quasi-annon comment. Would make for a great name for a band LOL! Course, I am just easily amused, ignore me. ;) I haven't really seen NCIS, just a few scenes here and there. Tuesdays I am usually watching Deadliest Catch on discovery or watching the Marlins play baseball. - I do like Marc Harmon though, great actor. There is a scene in an episode, some weeks back, that someone is calling him about a Yellow Volkswagon Bug and he's all tiffed about it. It's an "insider" joke, sort of. Harmon played Ted Bundy in a made for tv movie called "The Deliberate Stranger" and Bundy drove a Yellow VW bug. So that was amusing. :) He was also with Patrick (Bud) on the movie Summer School.

Laura - :shakes fist back: Is that a new form of saying hello? Because I get that a few times a story from people. :snickers: Dood, chillax, we'll eventually get some fluff. Not too much fluff it gives me a toothache. Hmm...

harmfan - Any nons? There might be this chapter is semi-betaed. (AKA: Jackie either too busy or too tired or too lazy to beta. . .- This time it was the middle one. . .I am not always very fond of reading my own story.) And Harm kissing, dear lord, would be a great way to be brought back. . .SMOOOCH! Whatta hottie the man is. :grin:

froggy - You're torn? Want some thread and a needle? No! Wait, Mac's going to need that in a few chappies. . .Actually, you can have it, just GIVE IT BACK! - Wow, you have faith I'll make it better.Muahahah.. . .Okay, yea, I will. I just like taking the hard road. . . and bumpy too ;)

sether - I keep reading your name as SEETHER and start singing the lyrics to either "Broken" by Seether and Amy Lee or "Fine Again." Music is always on da brain over here. There is a semi-happy part in and around part 19ish and then the epilogue will be just oodles of niceness. Hey, that's another cool name for a band! Ooodles of Niceness. Heheh

aserene - Glorious writer::Blush: Thank you. . . :stands on the stage: I would like to thank the uh. . .nevermind. ;) But, no really, thanks:)

jtbwriter - Dood, selective amnesia TOTALLY works! I love AJ in this part, nice for him to have a heart to heart with Harm, sorta. ;)

jaggurl - It was worse! Trust me, I edited out some really bad stuff!

Cristina - Well I like twists, it's fun! And for Gorilla,s naw, they tried to eat webb last time I wanted to use one. :) Wow, I am really in a weird mood today.


	17. POW MacKenzie

I just rock my world! I got this part done in a few hours, I am quite happy with it, the last scene with Madam Tatiana is my fav part of the story. You'll see what I mean. :) There is a huge AN at the end that explains somethings. Kudos to some of you, you were right! You rock! The rest of you, PAY ATTENTION! ;)

Thanks for all the kind and not so kind words, some of you guys are slave drivers, I swear. ;) But it's fun, I like making you guys cringe. Muahahaa.

Jackie

Part 17 – POW MacKenzie

0110 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

"NO!" The word reverberated through the walls of her confines, she said it so loud that it hurt her own ears. Palmer was finding this whole thing utterly amusing. Just like he had done before the switch was made, he was watching Mac, intrigued with just how addicted she was to what he lovingly dubbed "HarmTV." Frowning, he noticed it tugged his heart strings to see her break down, but it was a necessity. If he could break her down the same way he broke down Halloren, then, everything would be great. "No damnit! Harm don't you believe her! I wouldn't do that to you. . .You know I wouldn't do that to you!" Mac was screaming at the screens, her face was turning red from all of the anger that bubbled up. If her double's sudden fight with amnesia didn't bring Harm down, this would certainly be the nail in the coffin.

But, Harm wasn't biting, at least, not right away. Instead, he stood in front of Mac2 (AN: this will be a way to differentiate between Mac and Nikki) chuckling so hard that tears were streaming out of his eyes. Mac watched the color screens, seeing Harm characteristically place his hands on his hips. "Funny Mac, morbid, but funny." The idea of her being pregnant with a baby spook was just amusing.

But, Mac2, wasn't laughing. No, her face shone with a seriousness that he'd never seen before. Her face bowed down in some form of mock shame. God, this was perfect, problem is, she was having a hard time keeping a straight, poker face. 'Breathe Nikki, breathe.' She stepped away from him and came to stand by the closed balcony doors sighing as if she was carrying the weight of the world. "It just. . .sort of happened."

No, this wasn't happening to him, to them. Mac couldn't have done this, could she? It was involuntary and he would feel guilty about it later, but Harm couldn't help but remember her affair with Farrow, the night she allowed him to kiss her despite the fact that she was soon to marry another man. Worse of all, he remembered the kiss between her and Webb. Maybe he _was_ the fallback guy while she waited for the spook to claim her. Hadn't Webb told him something to that effect? That he would try to take her back if things got screwed up? Had he screwed up? No, he didn't think so, though he knew it mustn't have been easy to be with him while he was sorting his dreams and memories of being tortured by Temir.

Tortured. Webb was tortured, yet she felt the need to stay and take care of him. No, that was different as well, he'd been tortured to keep her from falling into Sadik's hands. Harm's torture was different, he wasn't protecting her, though he liked to believe that he was unwilling to give up information because he knew she'd be disappointed in him if he did given in. As she turned to him slightly, Harm knew she was telling the truth. He nearly collapsed when it hit him. She was carrying Webb's kid, not his. "When?"

"Did we get together?" Mac2 sighed and shook her head. "When you were on the carrier. . .it sort of happened." They knew Harm would likely check with Webb, maybe even pound the man to a blood pulp. But, they also knew that Harm would believe Mac over Webb and if he didn't, it was still her word against his and the spook wasn't in anyone's good graces to be believed about anything. "He came over to see how I was doing, if things were alright. . .one thing led to another and. . ."

"You're sure it's not mine?" He was hopeful still, willing to forgive an indiscretion because he loved her too much to let go. It wasn't like him to just give up and give in, but he wasn't going to let this slip by and he was damned if he would let her go to Webb without a fight.

Mac2 nodded. "Positive, now a days computers tell you when you got pregnant. They are usually pretty accurate."

He slid into the sofa with a defeated sigh. This just wasn't happening. Why them? Mac2 went to comfort him, to place a hand on his shoulder, but Harm shrugged it away. "Don't touch me, damnit. . . How could you sleep with Webb!" He exclaimed in disgust, the idea of her being intimate with Webb physically repulsed him more so that when she was with Brumby. At lease Mic had some sense of caring for her, though he was stupid to believe that Mac really loved him back. Webb, Harm wasn't sure what the hell the spook wanted from her and why, out of the blue, he suddenly decided he had to have her.

"Why did you do this to me?. . .I thought. . .I thought you loved me." Didn't she? Mac had told him how much she loved him, that he was it for her. How the hell did she wind up with Webb?

Mac2 sat on the top of the coffee table she took his hands, even when he tried to pull away. "It doesn't matter, Harm. . ." He looked up shooting her an incredulous glare, God this was just perfect! "_You_ could be the baby's father. . .You could help me raise _it_ as your own."

Harm just stared at her with a partially opened mouth. His stomach lurched slightly, he felt as if he was going to be sick. Standing, he moved away from her, leaning against the fireplace as he searched for words that weren't conjured up in anger. But, he couldn't help it. If anything, his foot in the mouth problem just got worse the more pissed off he was. He pinned her down with a glare that would level a whole platoon of Marines. "Yea, I've _always_ been the safe bet _right_?" He took the picture of the two of them, one taken while at the Roberts' home which Mac had placed on the mantel. Grabbing to the frame tightly, his knuckles turned white. "I've always been the fallback guy. . .Haven't I?" When she didn't answer he got close to her, very close and all six feet four of him, looming over Mac2 suddenly had her worried as to what he was capable of. "Haven't I?" He hurled the frame across the room, not even wincing as it hit a wall and broke into a zillion pieces of wood and glass. "You've never really wanted me or loved me. . . All you wanted was a safe bet. . ."

As he stepped away from her, Mac2 finally got her voice again. Okay, so that was rather scary, though she had to figure that he wouldn't hurt her, everything Palmer had told him had made Harm out to be a boyscout. "Yes, I _need_ you. . .and I know you won't turn me away." Yes, that was purely an assumption, seeing as many other _good_ men would just kick out an unfaithful woman. For good measure, she added, in her best damsel in distress voice, "I _need_ you, Harm. . .Please help me." He still wouldn't look at her, so Mac2 tossed in a few more words for good measure, "I love you. . .You know I do. . .What happened with Webb. . .I didn't want it." She sighed, turning away herself faking shame. "He. . .f-f-forced himself . . .on me." Argh, that was a bad idea, bad idea indeed, then again, she could start playing the 'I don't want to sleep with you anymore because of what happened' card. Hmmm, maybe it could work after all.

That caught his attention, Harm whipped around in a fit of anger and confusion. "Why were you trying to make me believe that you _wanted_ to be with him, Mac?" Though he knew that answer, Mac would have preferred to put the blame on herself than to let on that she was weak. She shrugged and for effect, placed her head in her hands and began to sob uncontrollably. That was it, the moment the anger rushed out of his body replaced by caring and compassion. "I love you Mac. . .I won't let you go through this alone. . .You know I won't." He wrapped his arms around her then kissed her gently, lovingly though she wouldn't return that kiss. Parting, he stared at her, frowning slightly at how she was still hot and cold with him. "You still don't remember things do you?"

Mac2 shook her head frowning slightly. "Not everything, no. . .I may never. . ."

He placed a finger on her lips, "I'll help you remember, but you have to try. . .you have to be more willing to remember. . ." Harm pulled her in again, holding her tight against him. . .

It was uncertain to Mac as to why Palmer wanted her to see this. First of all, how the hell did he manage to stick so many cameras in both her and Harm's apartment? Suddenly, the two figures disappeared into her bedroom, the door was closed and that was the last that she saw of him. "No! . . No damnit!" Mac slammed the top of the case shut and leaned herself up against it. It had been days since she last saw Palmer, though she imagined he must have been alive seeing as she still had fresh food every day.

The day that he'd taken her out of the foundry, he'd shot her up with some sort of drug that knocked her out. When she woke up, she felt this hard plaster on her face and this frightening sense of claustrophobia despite the tubes at the nostrils that helped her breathe. 'Easy, Colonel. . .easy.' It was a voice with a strong accent, one that she couldn't place. There were other voices too, a woman arguing with a man and immediately she knew it was Halloren and Palmer.

'I don't give a damn if she has a tattoo _there. _I am not having such an ugly thing done to my skin!' Halloren was arguing, but was calmed down when Palmer mentioned some sort of fake tattoo, a new form of latex that would look and feel real. The same latex would be used on any scars on Mac's body. The day that Mac had whacked Palmer over the head and then taken a spill down the foundry steps, they'd managed to use that unconscious moment to take pictures of the Marine's body. Palmer had learned every intimate detail, every scar, scrape and he all but memorized her tattoos.

During the current procedure, Mac had tried to move her neck, to stop whatever they were doing, but she felt the restraints and the overwhelming sense of dread. As she listened in to their conversation, he realized what was going on. Nikki was to become her double, the same way Palmer had become Harm's double. Harm. Had he gone through this? Had he felt this sick feeling as Palmer did whatever he wanted with his body?

As she lay on the metal table, waiting for the plaster to settle, she took a deep breath and calmed down, hoping they'd ignore that she was awake. And they did, because they were much too busy. Laying there quietly, she was able to find out how everything was accomplished. Palmer had stolen money from credit card transactions that went through Leavenworth as he worked in a customer service/order department. For years he was putting the money in an out of country account using Harm's name. With the use of that money and several other rogue agents, he set his plan into action. Killing Harm wasn't enough, revenge was the key and after two years of being out of Leavenworth studying Harm, he knew that the best way to get back at him was to use Mac.

When all was said and done and they were sitting side by side, Nikki looked exactly like Mac. She'd threatened them then, saying that Harm would figure it out. But Palmer had laughed at her, they'd been studying everything for days, Mac's movements, expressions. A chip that felt like skin was placed on the roof of Nikki's mouth. It would change her voice as well. It was perfect, seamless and perfect.

Mac wanted to believe that Nikki would never pull it off. But, now, as she witnessed them together day after day, she was losing faith in it all. She had a feeling she'd never see him again. "He's already with another, Sarah."

Turning slightly, she saw Palmer entering the room. He was injured, with a cast on his wrist and some burn marks on his face and arms. The building had come down on him, though he didn't anticipate it. In fact, he'd hoped to have placed another body at the scene, fake the DNA tests that NCIS would certainly run, and that would be that. They would believe he was dead. It didn't work quite as he planned, but, everything else was running smoothly. He'd used cameras placed on the scene to watch over the agents as they made their way into the building. If he wouldn't have been hurt, the plan would have been executed perfectly.

"You've been here for a while. . .They aren't going to find you and it looks like he may not want to find you. He's being seduced by the wiles of another woman." Grinning, he flipped open the case, punched in a few keys and brought up a scene in Mac's bedroom. Harm and Mac2 were in bed, together, making love. "Seems he doesn't _feel_ anything different." He closed the case and sat down on a chair next to Mac. He ran his hand slowly down her arm noticing Mac didn't even twitch when he did so. "He's with someone else. . .it's time for you to let go now."

Mac shoved his hand away. "I know what you are trying to do. . .you hope that I'll eventually allow some sort of Stockholm syndrome to develop. . .It's not going to happen." There was no way IN HELL that she would give into Palmer, even if Harm ended up marrying that bitch, she would not give in. It wouldn't happen, ever.

He remained seated, his fingers toying with the top of the briefcase. Palmer was a patient man, he'd waited forever for Halloren to give in, but this was a little different. True, it wasn't his general idea to try and win her over, he hadn't even thought about how she would figure in outside of his plan. But, he liked Mac, she was strong, capable. Oh, the damage he could do with a Marine by his side. "Stronger people have given in."

"Well, I'm not giving in." She spat back at him, her voice taking that more controlling tone that she was famous for. Mac moved away from him, coming to lean against the wall by the bed. She wanted to sit down, her body was so tired, but she refused to have to look up at Palmer. If anything, she wanted to be face to face with him. She would have fought him by now, God knows she wanted to, but her fear of Halloren hurting Harm was keeping her from doing much of anything. She always had plan B, only it wasn't going as well as she'd hoped. Days had gone by and she still hadn't been able to make much of a dent on the wall in the bathroom. But, she'd continue, even if her hands bled and her back hurt, she'd continue.

Palmer's jaw tightened as he glanced at her. Maybe she would be a bit of a harder nut to crack. Halloren, well she had a reason to crack, she needed to be loved, protected. Mac, well, he wasn't too sure about her. He grabbed Mac's arm, pulling her to him. "If you don't give it to me, I'll take it by force." She was close enough for him to kiss, but he didn't dare cross that path, not yet.

Mac breathed slowly, something about the way he touched her threw her back to her teenaged years. Her marriage with Chris Ragle was never a pleasant one. They had their moments when out of reckless abandon she'd allowed herself to believe it was love. But, there were nights, the ones that she was fully aware and sober, that she'd tried to leave, but he wouldn't let her. She was his 'hot little bitch.' As Chris liked to put it; words that made her feel cheap and unworthy of finding someone better. One night had completely evaded her memory, at least she buried it away so well that it rarely surfaced. It shouldn't be called rape if it was between a married couple, but it still felt like it to her. She'd said 'no.' But Chris was too drunk to care, instead he flung her on the bed and repeated the same words Palmer had used. 'If you don't give it to me, I'll take it by force.' And she'd given in, laid still and allowed him to have his fun only so that he wouldn't hurt her. But, she did hurt, as two months later, she miscarried.

All of that had been buried deep down inside and Mac knew she could bury more if she had to. She wasn't a little girl anymore, she was a capable, strong woman, a Marine officer who would not give in, damn the consequences. "Sarah MacKenzie – Lieutenant Colonel, United States Marine Corps – 501-02-7158."

Her voice was strong, forceful, so much that Palmer did a double take. He let her go, his brow furling in confusion. "You aren't a POW, Sarah. . .I just want to be your _friend_."

"Sarah MacKenzie – Lieutenant Colonel, United States Marine Corps – 501-02-7158." She repeated, her voice even stronger now. No, she wasn't a POW, but it sure felt like it and was tired of being his little plaything.

Palmer nodded. "Fine, you want me to treat you like a POW I will." Taking out a pistol he aimed and fired at the briefcase, the one that was her lifeline to Harm. He squeezed off four shots sending pieces of briefcase into oblivion. A little bit of sparks and smoke came out of the case and as he turned to Mac, he saw nothing but a passive look on her face. "Let's see how you spend your days now that you can't see him."

And with that, he turned and left. Mac stood there, shocked at all of the news she'd received in just minutes. This was ridiculous, insane. Damnit, how much more did they have to go through? Settling herself on the bed, she curled up into fetal position, hugging the pillow close to her. The images of him kissing the other Mac were seared into her brain. Closing her eyes, she could see him pouring his heart into touches and kisses to the wrong woman. She wasn't angry with him, quite the contrary, she was worried, hurt as to what would happen to them _if_ she ever saw Harm again. He would blame himself, she knew it. He would hate himself for being physically intimate with someone else and that, in itself, would be another blow to their relationship. Mac would forgive him, she loved him too damned much to hold it against him. But, what if he didn't want to be with her after all of this? Worst of all, what if she never saw him again. She couldn't help the tears anymore, thought she wanted to. Forcing herself not to cry only hurt her more as a strange tightness resided in her chest. So, she gave into the tears, sobbing hard until she fell asleep.

0510 Zulu  
Clayton Webb's Apartment  
Alexandria, Virginia

Clayton Webb stared down at the woman in his bed, she was blond, beautiful, absolutely stunning and he _did _love her. He always had, but in the middle of their on again off again relationship, he'd forced himself to forget. Choosing to do so because of the way they'd parted after working the Angelshark case. As he sat on the edge of the bed, he considered his relationship with Sarah. Did he love her? Yes, in _some way_ he did, but he wasn't in love with her and, after this night, he couldn't fool himself into believing that anymore. She was with Harm, the man that he knew she should have been with all along. His relationship with Sarah was one of necessity; they were both biding time until fate decided to come to her senses and put them with the correct other half.

There was no specific reason why Catherine Gayle chose this night, of all nights, to finally disclose that her year old child was his. She had left the CIA once realizing that she couldn't handle the top secret job and the risks that came with it. Furthermore, she wouldn't but her baby in danger, not for the agency. A private law firm in Washington was looking for someone with her talents, so she gave in. The pay was better, the benefits were excellent and everything was falling into place. She had regretted not taking Harm up on his offer to start something with her. God knows he would have been great to her and her baby, but she couldn't be with a man that loved another woman, especially with the way she knew he loved Mac.

But, this night, she'd had her brother taking care of her son, Michael. She was in Alexandria on a date, well, trying to go on a date, but the man had stood her up. That's when fate intervened and she wound up spending the evening with Clayton Webb. Somehow, she wound up back at his place where she'd stopped his advances to give him the news. Clay sat there, utterly confused and more than just a little bit hurt. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

Catherine frowned, 'Because the few times we've talked about being serious, you've dismissed it. . . You always told me you weren't ready for children and I didn't want to tie you down. . .When I heard about you and Colonel MacKenzie, I figured you'd found what you were looking for.'

He thought so to, though, there was some nagging feeling that something was off. 'You stopped talking to me. . .I thought you wanted a clean break. . .So I gave it to you.' He took her hands in his, for the first time in his life really bearing his soul. 'I loved you then, I still love you now. . .I want it to work.'

'It won't. . .even if we spend the night together, you know it'll just be that and I can't do that anymore.' She tried to move away, but Clay kept a hand on hers.

It wasn't often that you had a second chance and yet, there it was right in front of him. 'I am not letting you go again. . .I can change. . .Hell, if Rabb changed, anyone can.' He chuckled slightly, finally winning her over.

With a smile, Clay settled himself back into bed. He wanted this, he needed this too and, for once, mother actually approved of his choice of women. A knock at his door had him nearly falling off the side of the bed. "Clay, what is it?"

"It's probably nothing." Leaning in he kissed her slowly, but the knock was harder and much more forceful. With a sigh he straightened himself. "Let me get rid of whoever it is." Grinning, he headed out of the bedroom, wrapping himself up in a robe. He took a peak out of the peephole. Groaning, he opened up the door, "Rabb what the hell do you. .. OOF!"

Before he had a chance to even let him in, Harm stepped forward, slugging Webb with a force that should have knocked him out. When it didn't, Harm jumped on Clay, slugging him once again. "You sick son of a bitch. . .How could you?"

Clay was dazed, completely dazed. It was a miracle he hadn't passed out. "What. . .are you. . .talking about?" He said between breaths. Harm hadn't managed to break his nose but if he took another hit, he was sure it would snap.

"Mac. . ." He glared down at the man, gritting his teeth in the anger that he was feeling. He was trying not to give into it, but, at some point that night, he snapped. It could have had something to do with Mac2 telling him she wouldn't press any type of charges against the spook. Damn Webb if he thought he would get away with it. "She told me what you did to her."

Had he done something to her? If he did he wasn't aware of it. Hell, he didn't even get a chance to see her once she was rescued. "I haven't done anything."

"Liar!" Harm slammed his head against the ground, rage taking over his rational thought.

Catherine chose this moment to head out of the bedroom finding Clay laying on the ground with Harm over him. "What the hell is going on?"

"Catherine?" Glancing up, Harm took his gaze off of Webb, allowing the agent to push Harm away and come to his feet. He glanced between the two of them and instantly realized, "The baby was his wasn't it?" Something about that pissed him off even more. How many women had Clay impregnated and left? She nodded and Harm nearly lost it all over again. "This sick son of a bitch forced himself on Mac."

Clay raised a brow in confusion. "You know, Rabb. . .I know you aren't stable at the moment, but you are insane if you think I'd hurt Sarah." Carefully, he walked around the Naval officer and held his door open. "I suggest you get the hell out."

Harm walked away, stopping to glare at Clay. "She doesn't want to press charges and I'll respect that. But if you come near her again, I'll kill you." And by the look in his eyes, he meant it, every word of it.

Catherine was watching Clay, what the hell had just happened? She'd known Rabb was a bit impulsive, but this was completely unlike him. "Did something happened between you and Colonel MacKenzie?"

Clay shook his head. "We've been over for more than a year. . .I don't know what is wrong with him." She didn't seem to sure, so he moved forward, taking her hands in his. "I swear it. . ."

September 24, 2005  
2345 Zulu  
Arlington County Fair  
Virginia

Harm glanced down at Mac2 and the look of awe on her face. "You can't tell me this is the first time you've been to a carnival." She didn't respond, much like she just stopped responding for several other things she didn't know. Mac2 just couldn't deal with coming up with another story and having to hide behind her _'trauma'. _"You forgot that as well?" He frowned down at her and shook his head slightly. This was becoming increasingly difficult. The doctor had mentioned that it was some sort of selective amnesia, but her memories were more than just 'selective'. They were just plain jane scattered; scattered all over the place. "You don't remember when we took lil AJ once? Bud and Harriet wanted some alone time?"

"It's coming back to me." She said, then ventured out a bit more. "Did we ride the Ferris wheel that time?" Trying to read Harm, was becoming increasingly difficult. He wasn't an open book and his eyes could conceal just about everything. So much for her 'past profession,' it didn't help one bit that she could get inside the minds of most people. Harm was like a brick wall. Knowing she was had, Mac2 guided him towards a small tent over which a crooked, weathered, wooden sign hung. "Hey, take a look at this."

He glanced up at the sign, his eyebrow raising in amusement. "Madam Tatiana, Psychic Extraordinaire, Tarot & Palm Readings - Twenty Dollars." He read the sign then laughed. "You don't seriously want me to go in there, do you?" When she didn't give him an answer, he just stared at her. "Mac, this is crazy. Didn't learning to be a gypsy from Rusza teach you anything?" Harm grinned slightly, recalling the outfits that they had been wearing. He looked silly, but Mac. . .he was having trouble _not_ looking at her then. She was stunning.

Rusza? Who the hell was Rusza? And why would she be consorting with gypsies? The Colonel certainly was an odd one. "It's for fun. . . Now, go." She literally shoved him inside and smiled as he laughed his way in. With a sigh, she brushed her bangs out of her eyes and shook her head. "Clark, you're killing me." Glancing around the area Mac2 headed behind the tent and pulled out a cell phone. "Hey, it's me. . .Yea, I'm alone, for now."

Walking in was exactly what Harm expected. There was the blue, yellow and red canvas that made up the tent all around him, as well as this semi-thick smoke that obscured his vision. 'All this joint needs are the beaded curtains.' He thought to himself and sure enough, that was the next thing he ran through before coming up upon a round table where a very pretty, young woman sat. She looked up at him and smiled. "Please, take a seat, Commander."

Harm didn't even register what she had called him, how she seemed to know he was a Commander. He was far too captivated in the color of her eyes that seemed to change between indigo and emerald. 'Some sort of contact lens trick' He deduced and smiled at the woman. She was pretty, indeed, with frizzy red hair, held back by some sort of tiara of which ribbons hung from and slid over the top of her locks. Her clothing was deep, deep red velvet with gold accents. "Uh, thank you." He slid into his chair and took a good look around the place. The smoke had started to settle behind them, allowing for light to illuminate the woman even better. All it needed was a crystal ball in the center of the table. "So, you must be Madam Tatiana?"

"Yes." She said in a slight Russian accent, her eyes dancing. "And no, I am not related to the Romanov family." Madam Tatiana laughed along with him and then reached over to a deck of tarot cards in front of her. Something made her stop and glance up at him. "No, you came here for a palm reading. . .the cards will do us no good." She placed her hand on the table, beckoning him to place his hand in hers.

"Ah, well my. . .girlfriend put me up to this." Hesitantly, he extended his hand across the table, surprised at how gently the woman took his hand. "So? What does my life line read?" The moment his hand touched hers, Madam Tatiana became ramrod straight. The lights in the tent flickered ominously and the smoke permeated between them. 'Helluva parlor trick.' Harm thought as he licked his lips nervously. He'd had a friend, one of the guys from the Henry that had once been mugged at one hokey Tarot card booth while on liberty. That wasn't something he wanted to go through if he could help it. "Madam Tatiana?" He glanced at her and then around, the smoke was so thick if there was someone else in there, he couldn't tell.

There was a violent zing between them, as an electric current passed through his hand to hers. Immediately she dropped his hand, almost as if she were burnt and glared up at him. "That woman is _not_ your girlfriend."

Harm instantly started to laugh, he didn't believe much in metaphysical things seeing as, most of the time, they seemed to fail him completely. What Madam Tatiana had told him now, was just, completely ludicrous. "Did Mac put you up to this? . . .Course she did, that's why she was so eager to get me in here." Taking out his wallet, he pulled out a twenty and placed it right in the center of the table. "Here. . .Thank you for the memorable experience." With a roll of his eyes, he stood up and tried to leave the table.

Madam Tatiana stood up quickly and with a speed that could be described as otherworldly, she blocked the entrance and placed a hand on Harm's chest. "Commander. . . There is a woman, brown eyes, brown hair, American, but with Iranian blood. . . She wears a ring. A simple band with roses that was a family heirloom. . ._Your_ family heirloom. . .The irony was that you met that woman in a rose garden. . .She's in dang. ."

"How much did my girlfriend pay you to mess with me?" He interrupted, glaring down at the hand on his chest. He made to pull away, but couldn't. Harm brought both of his hands up and wrapped them around the woman's thin wrist. He tried to pull the woman away, but something stopped him, it was as if an invisible force was holding him against his will. "What the hell are you doing? What kind of parlor trick is this?" When he couldn't move, he tried to call out for Mac, but he'd suddenly lost his voice, feeling as if he were being choked. With a whisper he managed to croak out. "What next? You going to mug me?"

"Listen to me _very carefully._" She didn't release him, merely continued what she was going to tell him before Harm decided to just walk away. Her eyes glowed a deep emerald color as they did when she was angry. As she looked in his eyes, holding him there, she could see into him, he was suffering greatly. "She is in danger, Commander."

Harm shook his head. He didn't hear what she was telling him and only comprehended the fear in his mind. "Let me go. . ."

Madam Tatiana backed him into the tent and with a swift flick of her hand had him sitting down on the chair he was formerly occupying. Harm tried to move, but it was as if an invisible bond held him down. Restrained, he couldn't stop Madam Tatiana from taking his hand. She gazed into his palm then into his eyes. "You have more lives than a cat, Commander. . .So does your Marine. . .But she is going to run out of quite a few if you do not get to her. . . The girl, Sarah, the real Sarah, she is in danger."

"I don't believe this, let me go!" He managed to scream out.

Mac2 had just finished her call to Palmer, he didn't give her new instructions only promised that it would be over soon. 'Not soon enough.' She thought, then came out of her reverie as she heard Harm screaming. Walking in through the tent, she found Madam Tatiana standing in front of Harm, holding his hand and he didn't look like he was enjoying it one bit. "What the hell is going on here?" She yelled, moving towards Madam Tatiana. True, she didn't give a damn what happened to Harm, hell, the gypsy woman could have killed him, but Clark needed him alive and she had to follow his rules. "Harm?"

Harm glanced between the two women and laughed. He didn't want her thinking he was weak, or worse, that a woman had, literally man handled him. "Just. . .having a little fun. . ." He tried moving, finding that he was free from those invisible confines. Standing, he glared at the woman, shooting her daggers as he made to step out of the tent. "Thank you Madam Tatiana."

There was a sorrowful look in her eyes, one that seemed so genuine. It was every day that she felt things as powerful as she did. In fact, many of Madam Tatiana's readings were, indeed, a parlor trick. This, however, wasn't and she truly was concerned. Madam Tatiana glanced deep into his eyes, wordlessly giving him a warning. Though she didn't speak, he heard her words very clear. _"She is not Sarah, Commander, deep inside you know that. . .Only you can find her." _And with that, the voice disappeared as did the woman.

Harm nearly fell as he made it out of he tent, the only reason why he didn't hit the ground was because Mac2 had steadied him. "You alright there?"

"No." He shook his head slightly. Glancing down at her left hand he brought it up, noticing that the ring was not there. "What happened to the ring I gave you?" Why hadn't he noticed that before?

Mac2 groaned inwardly. She knew there was something that she forgot to do, Clark had ordered her to take any jewelry that Mac had and put it on, even if it fit or not. "He took it from me. . ." She glanced up at him and frowned. "I'm sorry, Harm." Trying to liven things up, she pointed over to one of the concession stands. "How about you win me a bear?"

He still felt weird, almost as if something had been sucked out of him. With a shrug, he shook it off and allowed her to take him to the stand. 'Get a grip, Hammer.' He thought, but, for the rest of the evening, things just didn't feel quite right.

(AN: Okie, some explanation. The idea with this story completely started with the conversation that Nikki and Harm had about her having Webb's kid. It came out of the blue and I was going to write a story about Mac that gets preggers with Webb's kid and Harm who is the good guy and helps her out. Then I thought – ewww! Hell no, no way! Ewwwww! - So, then I am like "well, what if Palmer either brainwashes Mac or gets someone to be an imposter. . .Aha!" And this story was born. I twas originally to be called 'Ultimate Revenge' though that changed because it sounded like some 80s video game. The part with Madam Tatiana came from yet another story where Mac has amnesia and he passes by the booth and the woman tells him what he has to do. I didn't like it, so it wounded up in here and it is my favorite part of the whole story. I love metaphysical things, I've been to a few tarot readers, shell readers, it's pretty nifty. I also have a little collection of tarot card, some have really nice artsy stuff on them. :) – So yes, some of you figured it out waaaaaaaay before that Nikki was going to be Mac's double. Kudos to you. I mean, what else would be the purpose for Palmer to have a GF? And, you can't say I didn't hint. I've said for a long time it was going to be like "The Imposter" with a twist. ;) Isn't this twisty? ;) – Oh Madam Tatiana, yes the name is from the whole Romanov family thing. I was reading a vampire book where she isn't dead, a vampire had rescued her and she was a blood sucker. Very cool book.)

-

Abigaile - Am I an idiot, yea I can be sometimes. LOL! And no, no baby, it's not Mac. ;)

nk - Reformed! Where the hell is the fun in that! Procedure was just fine, I actually heard the tooth ripping from the jawbone, I thought it was cool. Yea, I am nuts. ;) Now I have a hole :P The Tee shirts are under construction. ;)

carby - was it twisty enough? And what was your idea on where I was going with this? Close or no cigar?

mariarita - I am aren't I? Evil I mean. ;) Did you dig the explination? I hope so!

martini - If it were Really Mac with Really Spooky's baby, I'd kill her myself. :P

me - no cheek pinching just yet, but there may be:)

bluejay - Thank God it's not Webb's baby, isn't that something that makes you wanna puke?

aserene - Harm's going to read it wrong, because she's leading him by the ahem anyway. . .he loves her too much to let go, though, don't worry, Madam Tatiana has planted a seed in his mind.

ltjgmeg - Palmer, I think he is running on life 120. . .give or take a hundred. ;) He's great though, nice villian to have around and has the rogue contacts that just rock my world!

jaggurl - Nope, she is NOT pregnant, no one is. . .Well, unless Nikki is preggers with a little Palmer and, well, if she is, no one told me:P

XBlue - grabs the duct tape and pins yer ass down again Jeez, calm down, breathe! Breathe! gets Calix out and jsut glares What the hell, man! Yer fired! duct tapes her jaw too Eww, that was just like gross:P

froggy - Bumpy, full of pot holes, whatever you want to call it. ;) Webb's child, demon spawn LOL! Noooo, no webb's baby! I swwear.

jtbwriter - Yep! Someone was totally messing with someone, jsut not in the NC-17 messing type. Thank God. But Poor Harm, that nikki chick is a bitch!

harmfan - Yay! You rock dood! Harm will figure it out soon very soon, the gypsy chic put a seed in his head, now he's just going to have to come to his senses, that things, even if she FORGOT things, it's amusing that nothing of hers is the same not even the parts she does remember. Men! I swear! Sheesh!

Feverish - WEbb and Mac's babies... dear God I think if that would ahve happened I would have needed massive quantities of valium or alcohol or maybe both together. Thank GOD DPB never went that route! Eh, I unjerked Webb a bit. Figured, if you give him someone to screw with, he'd leave Mac alone ;)


	18. The Day Rabb Followed His Heart

This story is too long! Waaaay too long, it really wasn't supposed to be THIS long. According to my computer (And we ain't done yet) it's, thus far 153 pages. Amusing that in class some of us would bitch about A page. ;)

Sooo… I say we have two more parts to go MAYBE three. And then an epilogue to end the trilogy. Then I will shut my brain down for a bit before I start posting "Return To Me" OO This story has been totally fun to write, but it's a total burn out.

Talk about mega angst, had to get it out of my system though Hehehehe:) Thanks for reading, commenting and all that fun stuff, I've had some of the funniest feedback!

My wisdom tooth it went fine, had to open up my gums slightly so that still hurts a bit like a cold sore. I went on Friday to pick up my tooth for the hell of it. Hehehe. It was huge. I've been taking it easy this week, I find if I do anything taxing (running, being out in the sun too long, etc) the area tends to bother me more, so I've been chilling. Thanks for the well wishing and concern!

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, Wuchel, minorcadence, mechanical, mariarita, Tammy, bluejay, anyone else I missed for the feedback :)

Part 18 – The Day Rabb Followed His Heart

1245 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

The spoon she'd been using to hack at the wall had long since waved its little white flag. The poor steel had been grinded down so much that there was only about two inches left of the thing. Frustrated, Mac came off of her knees and sat on the floor of the bathroom. Would _anything _go her way? Apparently not. And what was that little saying? Oh yes, when it rains, it pours. Well, it was certainly pouring now and though her room was not getting wet, she could see water seeping through the three inch by two inch hole that she managed to open up. The water, mixing with some of the dust of the walls was starting to created this wet slush effect. Grabbing a towel, she stuffed it into the hole and proceeded to clean the bathroom floor and get rid of the evidence.

Mac found it odd that neither Palmer nor Halloren had bothered to check the bathroom. Maybe there was a camera somewhere in there, then again, maybe they figured that she had no where to go. Still, she felt concerned. The moment Palmer found what she was doing in her pastime, she knew she'd be punished and hoped that the outcome would not hurt Harm as well. Frowning, she stood up, cleaned herself off and headed back into the main room. For effect, she would roll the blankets and pillows on the bed, creating a large bulge that made it seem like someone was resting.

Using her internal clock, she soon figured out some sort of pattern as to when Palmer was around., or at least, she thought she did. It had been working considering no one had barged in on her extra curricular activities. Glancing up at the camera, she waited for it to pan then slipped into the bed. With a sigh, she placed her hands behind her head and glanced up at the ceiling. What was going on back home? Had Harm really believed that the other woman was her? No, it couldn't be, he was smarter that than. Then again, maybe Palmer was right, maybe he was so fragile and so hurt that he would believe anything just to keep her by his side.

Closing her eyes, she tried to concentrate on him, in hopes that their odd spark could build some connection between them. Hopefully, it would create a lifeline that he could follow. She'd tried this once or twice with no success, but it had to work this time, it just had to. She could feel it in her bones that something was about to happen and she couldn't miss this window of opportunity, not now. Something told her that this was it, if things didn't work out they would lose each other forever and that was something she wasn't willing to gamble with. Laying there, she brought to her mind his face, his smile, his eyes. Mentally she 'drove' through the streets, arriving at her apartment, walking up the steps and inside to find him waiting. She could see him, she could feel him and he had to feel her too. 'C'mon Harm. . .feel me. . .I need you. . .I need you.'

1310 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

Harm fell off of the sofa, coming to his knees as some force threatened to steal his breath. He held his throat, willing the breath in and out of his body. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't he breathe. And then, just like that, he was fine. Breathing hard, he came to his feet, staggering slightly. "What the hell?" His back was killing him after another wonderful night spend on the sofa from hell. Mac2 had been at it again, one minute trying to seduce him, the other, kicking him out of the room. There was a reason for it, unbeknownst to him, Nikki did _not_ want to sleep with him, though Clark had told her otherwise. She was in love with Palmer, she wanted to be with him, not the Commander. So, she'd turned on the charm and quickly turned it off again, noting that was driving him insane.

With a deep sigh, he leaned against the sofa, then took a glance down at his hand. _'She's not your girlfriend.' _Madam Tatiana's voice from the night before came into memory, she seemed quite pressed on the fact that the woman he was with wasn't Mac. That was certainly true. _'Sarah's in danger.'_ But, how could he know Mac's name without him telling her? He'd ambushed Mac2 with questions, trying to make it seem inconspicuous as to what went on inside Madam Tatiana's tent. Now that he thought about it, the whole reading was strange. How did the woman know he was called 'Commander?'

Sometimes being a JAG officer could get you just about anywhere. Even though he was in civvies, Harm flashed his badge at the entrance to the fair, gave some fake hoopla about an investigation, and waltzed right in. The grounds were a mess and though clean up crews were trying their best to get everything nice and neat for that evening, the wind had other ideas. The weather had been odd since the moment they arrived at Mac's apartment the evening before. 'Damnit. . .' He thought with a frown, 'I don't even consider it home anymore.' Somehow, after all of the odd relationship between him and this new Mac, he'd lost his want to call her apartment his home.

Wind and rain whipped against the windows, adding for an even more restless night of sleep as the lightening cast strange shadows on her walls. Around three am, he considered it to be an omen of bad things to come. Laughing to himself he managed to shake that feeling off, but he couldn't quite stop thinking about Tatiana. _"She is not Sarah, Commander, deep inside you know that. . .Only you can find her."_ The woman was so insistent, that he had to come back, to figure out if this was her way of trying to help him, to help Mac get her memory back.

As he strolled down the fair grounds the wind started to pick up again, casting an unseasonable chill in the air. Harm closed the front of his bomber jacket and adjusted his sunglasses so that any debris would not fall into his eyes. He walked passed the concession stands and game booths, coming to a stop in front of the Madam Tatiana's tent. Looking up, he read the sign again, chuckling at how the price for a reading dropped now that the work week was about to begin. The fair had another week to run and they were trying to get visitors in by any means possible, cutting prices was one of those means. "I don't give refunds or credit, Commander." From around the tent the young woman walked out, still dressed rather flamboyant despite the fact that the fair would not open for several hours. In one hand she held a porcelain tea cup, in the other a piece of parchment paper with a drawing done in pencil. She handed him the drawing, grinning slightly as she said, "I knew you would be back. . . Don't open that yet."

Harm chuckled slightly, this was ridiculous, all of it. Instead of staying at home with his girlfriend trying to help her out he was in a semi-desolate fair ground talking to some woman who liked Halloween a little too much. "Sure you did."

"First of all, _Commander. _I do not like Halloween, the holiday has been spoiled by candy toting children and silly little dress up parties. . .And second, I am quite comfortable with what I am wearing, thank you." She reached into the 'v' of her dress, straightening it self-consciously as Harm's eyes widened. The thought of not helping him was tempting, as it usually was when non-believers and ridiculers would harass her talents. But, there was a sorrow in his eyes and she knew that not giving assistance would probably have some negative karmic affect on her, something Tatiana took very seriously. "I would have convinced you had that imposter not come in." She said with a tone of total sincerity. Pulling back a tent flap, she handed it to Harm, having him hold it open for her as she stepped inside. "Come on in."

Tentatively Harm followed her, taking a quick look inside. "Looks better at night."

"Which is why we tend to hide in the cover of night, things look more mystical and ominous." Chuckling, she settled in behind the table, offering him the seat across from her. Wordlessly, she placed her hand in the center of the table, waiting for Harm to place his hand in hers. Once he did, she took a breath as that zing passed between them. Her gift did work in odd ways, sometimes she couldn't read a thing, this time she was bombarded by so many different things, these two people were certainly suffering. "You don't like games, do you, Commander? But, your nemesis does. . .he likes them a little too much." She frowned and though she could not 'read' Clark Palmer, there was a connection between him and Harm that she found to be evil. "Your own personal enemy."

Harm was still skeptical about it all, though he was starting to come around. He wanted to know how well Tatiana's gift worked. "What's his name."

Smiling she looked away from his hand and up at him. "I can't tell you his name, I only know that he has this severe hatred for you. . .It was your fault this started." Harm snorted, disbelieving that he bothered to waste his time going over there for this. His attitude angered her slightly and it shone in her eyes and the tightness of her grasp. "The gift doesn't always work the same for everyone. . . Sometimes I can pick things up better. . .For instance, _Commander_ I know you are an officer in the Navy."

This was true and eventually, last night he'd remembered that she'd called him 'Commander' without so much as an introduction. "And you knew her name was Sarah."

"She isn't Sarah, Commander. . .She's an imposter, someone that your nemesis put in there. . .to. . .to." Madam Tatiana took a few quick strangled breaths, it was almost as if she could feel something heavy on her face, causing her not to breathe properly.

"Madam Tatiana?" Harm tried to pull his hand away but the woman head it steadfast as her eyes opened and gazed into his own.

Her jaw tightened but her grip on harm loosened, this was going to take a lot out of her. "He's done this before. . .With you. . .He pretended to be you, he pretended to be your father once too. . .He toyed with you then, also. . .He's tried to kill you many times, in fact, this is what this is. . .a slow agonizing death." She was starting to win him over, but there was a hint of confusion in his eyes, part of him wasn't willing to believe. This upset her, couldn't the man see he too had a gift? Except that Harm's gift wasn't general, it was part of the link he held with the woman that he loved. "You still do not believe?"

He wanted to, God did he want to believe her, but this was too crazy and unfortunately for him, his faith had long left him. "Truthfully, I am a mess. . .I don't know what to believe anymore. . .I just know that she isn't who she was before."

Tatiana released his hand, brushing it off the table in anger as she stood up before him. "That's because it isn't her. . . And you are going to lose the real Sarah if you don't do something soon." She pointed at his hand, the one holding the parchment paper. "Open it." Reluctantly, he placed the paper on the table and unfolded it. He gasped slightly as she gazed at the perfect drawing of the ring he'd given Mac. Unless someone studied it, they couldn't have possibly known all of it's little details. "Do you believe me now?"

He did and as it all started to sink in, Harm felt his vision becoming blurry; he was crying. Damnit, why didn't he realize something was up? Had he really been that out of control? "Do you know where she is?" His voice took on a desperate edge as he wiped his tears. "She. .. we have this connection. . .she found me once at sea. . .I've. . ."

This was the part that she was fearing, as much as she could help him, the gift wasn't that good. "I can not help you, I've done all I can."

Furious, Harm stood, grabbing the woman by her arms as his six foot four frame towered over her. "Tell me where she is. .. PLEASE."

Tatiana stared up at him, her gaze forcing him to relinquish his hold on her. They stood there, staring at each other until one of her slender hands slid up his chest and to his heart. "This is what you need to use to find her. . .Unfortunately, you have not realized she's left hers open, like a beacon calling to you." She smiled at him, then pulled her hand away.

Harm stood there, rooted in place as the woman headed to the back of the tent and disappeared. _"Follow your heart, Commander."_ Swallowing, he took a look around, glancing down at the table to find the parchment paper missing. He didn't dream all of this, he knew it, it was all real. But now, he had a few things to settle, a game to unravel. "Hang on, Mac. . .Just, hang on." He turned and ran out of the tent and through the fair grounds to his car never looking back.

1530 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

If Nikki were there, she'd certainly give him an earful over standing on the roof of the building while the rain washed over him. But, Clark Palmer loved bad weather, it usually was a good omen; a sign that things were going his way. At the moment though, it was just the opposite. Staring down he saw a familiar Lexus SUV coming to a stop just a few feet from the foundry fences. "What the hell?" Carefully, he ran across the roof and to the access which he followed downward. He jumped off of the rungs which were cemented into the wall, falling with a thud as he'd miscalculated the landing.

Using that system was always a problem seeing as many of the rungs were missing. Squatting down he rubbed his right ankle, finding it not to be broken but probably sprained. "Mother f. . ." His curse trailed off as she heard the distinct sound of tires rolling over gravel, that car was coming closer. "Shit!" He ran/hopped to the foreman's office, grabbed a pair of techie-grad binoculars and aimed them to the ground below. It was Harm. "What the hell!" Quickly, he fumbled through the drawers of the desk, fishing out a phone which he used to call Nikki. "Pick up!"

Harm looked up at the aging building in front of him, still curious as to why he had this nagging feeling that he had to be there. Before venturing that way, he'd gone to the building where Gibbs and company had found Mac, where Palmer had supposedly been killed. The rubble was being neatly piled into a corner of the lot and it was obvious that someone was going to start breaking ground sometime soon. Carefully, he walked the lot, looking down at what was left of the foundation. Mac _had_ been there at some point, he felt it now. There was this strong pulse in his veins, an awareness that wasn't there before. Madam Tatiana must have done something to him, Harm deduced, but he knew it wasn't true. He'd had a nagging feeling that something was off for so long and now he knew why.

Stepping out of the Lexus he immediately sensed that someone was watching him. With sunglasses on, he pretended to be looking one way, but his eyes were trained on the windows, more than half of which were broken. The rain was falling hard on his face, feeling like tiny pinpricks, but it didn't matter. He needed to find out what was the 'attraction' to an old, abandoned foundry. Slipping his hand into the pocket of his jacket, he fingered the pistol which would commonly be found under the drivers seat. After heading out of the fair grounds, he had a feeling that it would be needed.

He kept his hand on the pistol as he walked cautiously into the foundry. Part of him was calling this endeavor a stupid one, the other part of him was following his heart like Madam Tatiana told him to. Harm walked into the building with his body rigid, every nerve on edge and prepared in case something went wrong. In the current lighting (or lack their of), due to the storm, the place looked positively ominous. There was something in the air that hung, it was thick with tension, so much that it threatened to strangle him. 'Get a grip.' He told himself, then made his way father into the building.

The main wall, one that should have covered the on goings of the foundry from spying eyes was almost completely gone. Inside there were pipes, heavy machinery and that massive bucket used to hold the liquefied steel. It all seemed like setting for a b-rated horror film or maybe it was nature's soundtrack of lightening and thunder that made it feel that way. The upper half of the building came complete with a catwalk that went along the inner perimeter and then across from one side to the other. At the top, he noticed, were doors that would probably lead to the manager's offices and maybe even he worker's locker and dinning rooms.

Harm didn't see anything worth looking for along side the machinery, having this feel that eyes were on him, he didn't want to chance passing by the wrong equipment and being mangled to bits. So, instead, he chose to head up the steps of the catwalk and see what he could find in the rooms. It was, as he took his first step that he noticed an odd feeling within him one that was severed completely when he felt his cell phone vibrating inside his jean pocket. He took a few steps away from the stairs and pressed himself against a wall and into the shadows. Quietly, he brought the phone up to his ear and answered with a whispered, "Rabb."

It was Mac2, seemingly worried as to where he had been all day and why he hadn't called. Harm rolled his eyes, then trailed them up the stairs to the doors. Maybe he should go home, deal with the woman first and then follow his heart? After all, she may have a lead, a good one. "I'll be home soon, bye." He hung up in the middle of her tirade, slipped the phone into his pocket and sighed. Later today he would be back unless the imposter at Mac's apartment had a different idea as to where he should go. Sighing, he stepped backwards, his gaze settling up on the second level. He would be back, he swore that to himself.

Palmer stood inside the office looking down at Harm who was jogging towards the SUV. "Smart move, Harmy. . .smart move." Though he didn't want to, if the Commander got anywhere near the room holding Mac, he would grab his gun and shoot. Sure, he loved this game, but things were working too well. Now, what he needed to find out was how Harm knew of this place and if he should move Mac. That did pose a problem, where would he take Mac? Maybe it was time for him to start looking for another venue?

1626 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

Mac2 had been pacing the apartment for nearly an hour. Clark hadn't contacted her again and Harm wasn't answering her calls. What the hell had happened? Sighing, she went to the window and glanced out, nothing. Where the hell was Harmon Rabb! She tried the cell phone again, groaning when it went to voice mail. "What the hell is. . ."

The door opened and in walked Harm who plastered this amused grin on his face. During the drive over he kept thinking of methods to unmask the imposters game. At first, he'd opted for the quick approach, now, he wanted to torture her as much as she'd tortured him. One of the things he noticed was how Mac2's appetite seemed to change. So, he started with a bag of sandwiches from Beltway Burgers as an ode to Mac. "Sorry I took so long, sweetheart, I was getting us dinner."

He pulled out two huge, juicy burgers and an order of large fries in front of Mac2. Grinning slightly, he could almost see her stomach lurch out of disgust. This was just going to be too good. "Uh, what are. . . those." She held a hand to her mouth, her stomach turning slightly at the smell of meat. Nicole Halloren had been a vegetarian since her teens and was, a hell of a lot worse than Harm when it came to the food she ate. She'd been pleased that he was a health food junkie, but lately, his out of the blue presentation of meat was just repulsing.

Harm grinned, oh yea, his own torture techniques were going to be just lovely. "Two, juicy Beltway doubles from Beltway Burgers. . .Each sandwich has two huge, juicy patties, special sauce, topped off with bacon and cheese."

That was it, Nikki bolted across the apartment, running until she reached the bathroom. She came to her knees in front of the toilet throwing up the tea that she'd had just before Harm had arrived. He sat on the bed with a pleased smirk on his lips as he waited for her to be done. When she was, he wiped the smirk away, replacing it with his best concerned look. "I guess it's morning sickness, huh?"

She glared at him slightly. "I do _not_ like meat."

Harm shrugged. "Surprising because, since I've known you that's all you prefer to eat." He grinned up at her and sighed slightly. "Must be one hell of a bought of amnesia if you can't even remember the foods you like, babe."

Nikki swallowed hard, she wanted to yell at him, to latch out, but it would give too much away. Instead, she bowed her head and headed out of the room. "I'm sorry, it's not like this is my fault."

He'd followed her out, glancing at everything she was doing with a new awareness. The imposter was seamless, she looked every bit like Mac, even the tattoo on her ankle matched. However, there were things that he noticed now, a way that she moved, the way she presented herself, it was all off. Even her voice, he noticed now, had a trouble hitting the correct pitch. "How do you say, 'I love you' in Farsi?"

Now that had her stumped completely. "Farsi?" She turned to him slowly, her brow furling in complete confusion. What the hell did Farsi have to do with anything?

Harm smiled. "Farsi, Russian, Japanese, Spanish, German. . .you're quite the linguist." He snapped his finger and put on this absolutely fake looking frown. "Oh, I forgot, you _don't_ remember. . .that's right." He walked up to her, stopping less than a foot away. Mac2 looked up at him, seemingly terrified of his height, good. He reached his hand up, caressing her face gently. "You know, I'd do anything for Sarah MacKenzie. . .anything." Okay, why was he talking to her as if 'she' wasn't there? "And she knows I would have done something had I known." His hand stopped moving, but remained on her cheek where he pinched her.

"Owww! What the hell are you. . ." She tried to back away but hadn't realized that Harm moved her so that she was pinned between him and the wall. Her skin felt weird, he noticed how stretchy it became once it was between his fingers. Harm forcefully tugged at it, ripping the material from her skin, causing the woman to gasp from the pain. Half of the face ripped off, half stayed on, showing the difference in both skin colors. As she stared down at the other woman, his eyes widened in shock. It was the woman from the bar, that one that had knocked him out with a two by four. His facial features turned from shock to anger. And it wasn't anger at Palmer or the woman before him, no, Harm was angry with himself for not figuring this out sooner. "Please don't hurt me." The woman begged as she tried to press herself into the wall as far away from him as possible.

"Dr. Nicole Halloren, Palmer's partner." Harm spat out, his grasp on her tightening just a bit more. There were so many things he had to say, so many questions he wanted to ask, but they all seemed pointless. Instead, he moved his hands up to her throat, tightening slightly, promising bodily harm. "You're taking me to her NOW."

Nikki shook her head, though she knew she was had, she wasn't going to let him know everything, she wasn't that stupid. (Jury is still out on that one. ;)) "I don't know where she's being kept, you have to believe me."

He didn't, so he tightened his hold just a little more, enough to scare her but not enough to cause her to black out. "Then take me to him, you have to know where Palmer is."

She shook her head as best as possible. "I love Clark, I will not help you hurt him!"

"If you don't help me, he'll hurt her!" He realized this tactic wasn't working, apparently the woman was stupid enough to want to die for her lover. So he released her, enough for her to breath properly, then brought the pistol out of his pocket. "Sit down, Ms. Halloren."

Coughing, it took her several long minutes to get her breath. "You are. . .a bastard." She spat out between quick breaths. "Everything Clark. . . told me about you . . . was true!" Nikki took a seat on the sofa and glared up at Harm wishing her eyes were lasers so she could zap him into oblivion.

"No doubt he lied to you." Sighing, he sat on one of the side chairs keeping the gun trained on her, just in case. "Just what did he tell you about me? You were a psychiatrist, at least that is what my sources told me. . .How'd you lose it?"

Nikkie glared at him again, obviously off put by his comment. "I did _not_ lose it, I just fell in love." Harm chuckled, the notion of someone falling for Clark Palmer was just disgusting. But, she insisted. "You apparently know _nothing_ of love, Rabb if it took you so many years to snag that annoying Marine."

Harm grinned. "So tell me, how'd you get won over by a monster?"

This wasn't part of the plan, she wasn't going to tell him anything, but she was biding for time. No doubt Clark had to have been watching and if she could hold off Harm long enough, he'd save her. At least, she'd hoped Clark was watching. She told him about their first meeting, how she'd been cautious of Palmer but soon gave into his charms. Harm sat there, partially repulsed from the way she'd lovingly described the man. "He made me forget my husband and all of the pain I was in. . .He made me believe in love again."

The story would have been sweet and charming had it not been told about one of the most disgusting human beings on the planet. "And then you helped him escape and did a damned good job about it."

Nikki nodded. "It was the only way we could be together. . .He told me about you, how you wrecked his life with lies. . ."

"I didn't lie. . .he did, to you." Leaning forward he placed his elbows on his knees, hoping a bit of a heart to heart would change her mind about things. "If he loves you as much as you think, he wouldn't be using you. . .and he is. . . For Christ sake, if he cares so much, why are you here with me?"

But, apparently Palmer was better at brainwashing that he'd thought. "I am here with you because he needed me to do this, to destroy you. . . He _does_ care about me. . .He _loves_ me."

"You make him sound like such a swell guy."

"He is."

"When why did he do this? Why did he take Mac? She has no part in what I supposedly did to him."

"Collateral. . .He knew if he had her, you'd do anything to save her." She said snidely, grinning pleasantly as she heard a hard rap on the door. Harm seemed perturbed as to what he should do. "Ain't you gonna get that, Commander?"

Harm stood, walking backwards towards the door as he kept the pistol on Halloren. "If this is a set up." He made it to the door, but before he had a chance to take a quick peak through the peephole, the door was jimmied. It opened rapidly, slamming against his hand, causing him to drop the pistol. "Shit!"

As he lunged towards the gun, Palmer stepped in, kicking it away before closing the door behind him. He pointed his own gun at Harm, shaking his head in amusement. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. . .Now now, Harm. . You wouldn't hurt me would you?"

With a blood curling yell, Harm rushed Palmer, pounding him into the wall. The pistol slipped out of the former agent's hand, skidding across the floor. The two fought, hard punches were thrown to the face and abdomen, some missing, others connecting, but neither were fazed. Palmer pushed Harm off of him, then lunged at him as the Naval officer took one step too many away from his nemesis. The movement made Harm crash right atop of the coffee table and it broke in pieces from the stress of his body weight. Unfortunately, so did the glass vase that was on the table. It broke beneath him, the left side of his body crushing the vase and a thick shard of glass sunk into his skin. He yelled from the sensation of pain, but still came to his feet.

Harm made to lunge at Palmer again, but Halloren, who'd taken the gun that had slid across the floor, had other ideas. She bashed the gun over his head, but the blow didn't know him out. It didn't have to, because Palmer's version of sending people into unconsciousness came in a nice little syringe which he injected into Harm's neck. "Night night, Harmy."

"Don't. . .hurt. . .her." Were Harm's last words as his mind entered a tortured dreamland. . . . .

Ink – Drama classes? Might be why she is a drama queen. ;) Some women go through a period where some of the foods they like they start to hate. One of my best friends practically turned vegetarian, the taste of meat, unless it was severely seasoned, would just gross her the hell out. Sucked because she was a massive burger junkie. Hehehe. So, yea, Nikki was hiding behind that. Harm, I think he should have figured it out sooner, but when you are fed a lie, sometimes you belive it. ;)

Feverish – Yep, I think Webb and Cath go well together. I needed to get him the hell away from Mac, take away any little nutty notion that the he should come anywhere near her. ;) This works, takes him out of the picture and makes you feel jus a little bad for him that Harm clobbered him. . .or not. ;) I go for not. ;)

Nk – LOL! Aparently I can't go wrong when I hook Webb up with someone and send him away from mac. Works eh? ;)

Southern – He didn't sleep with her, and you are right about the footage ;) Kudos to you dood:) Nope, Nikki is so not preggers, it was just another ploy to screw with his mind.

Abigaile – LOL! Are you breathing easier now? ;)

Carby – Nah, yer not cheating, I think some people figured that there was no point to Plamer having a GF. LOL!

Mariarita – Yer not dumb, I did throw a lot of weird things in the story. :) But, now you know. I am prob jut too evil. ;)

Martini – I happen to think Mac is more connected than Harm is. . . Mac's actually "used" her gift, Harm I doubt he has a clue past "Ghostship" I've also been going on the fact that he's been stressed out, had his head bashed in. . .etc. ;) Writers privilege. ;)

Harmfan – LOL! Oh god Palmer and Harm… HELL no. . .jeez icky! Ewwww! Gross! Harm is going to beat himself a bit until he sees Mac and finds out the truth which was he didn't get busy with Halloren, thank God. . . .The bottom teeth I have a feeling at least one of mine have to come out. As much as I have a big ol Cuban mouth, apparently I can't fit all 32 teef ;)

Beccy – Webb and Mac's children. . .Jeez, sounds like the name of a horror flick LOL!

LtJGMeg – yea, scary huh? Little Palmers to screw with Harm and Mac's kids. LOL! Umm, are you sure you have the right Harm? Cos he is here. . .Uh oh. ;)

Froggy – I think you need to have that jaw looked at dood… Worrying me here. ;) He didnm't sleep with Mac2 I promise. :)

Jtb – Not too much to go! Angst rocks! ;)


	19. Some Sort Of Impact

Ah, I need rest after this one I am giving myself a break LOL! People we have reached page 159. Harm and Mac need some sort of vacation after this one, don't they? ;)

They'll get one, don't worry. :)

Thank you for all of the feedback, even those of you who e-mail me your concerns of no light at the end of this tunnel, there is a light, and it's getting bigger. Harm and Mac might just be able to get out of this on their own. Ahaha. :)

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, Wuchel, minorcadence, mechanical, mariarita, Tammy, bluejay, anyone else I missed for the feedback :)

PART 19 – Some Sort Of Impact

1726 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Mac had been asleep for nearly over four hours, her body had given into the exhaustion and tears. During her slumber there had been instances of good dreams, memories of her and Harm and the life that she was sure they'd slowly build for themselves. It was soon replaced with terrifying nightmares of her never escaping Palmer, of Harm still stuck in his personal hell with Temir. She'd tossed and turned, finally falling into a deep sleep in a tangle of sheets and pillow. Mac was mentally, and physically drained, which is why she didn't immediately hear the door being unlocked and opened.

"Hurry, he's waking up!" Halloren warmed Palmer as he worked his way across the catwalk trying to carry Harm's body fireman style.

Palmer glared up at his girlfriend, shaking his head in slight annoyance. "You think this is easy?" He grunted, then pointed at the door. "Just make sure she doesn't come out."

Halloren trained the gun at the door, but noted that the Marine was sleeping so deeply, she didn't even hear the commotion outside. "I got you covered."

Harm limply lay against Palmer, every time he tried to wake himself out of his bodily shut down, he'd pass out again. His body felt like it had been stuffed with thousands of tons of lead. His head felt heavy as well. When he was lucid, part of him wanted to laugh at this new, sticky situation. The other part just wanted to cry. Ever since Palmer had shot him up, Harm had fought against allowing it to take its toll on his body. Sure, he was lethargic and would, often, pass out, but something kept him from going under completely. Maybe he just should give in that would certainly stop the excruciating pain he was in.

A piece of glass from the vase he'd fallen on, had lodged itself in his left side. The ride over and the position that Palmer was holding him, only added to the agony, sending the shard even deeper into his side. Harm wanted to scream out from the pain, but it just wouldn't come out. Before he knew it, he felt Palmer moving him off of his shoulders and literally dropping him onto the floor. This time he did groan and through the fuzzy recesses of his mind he heard a voice, a familiar one.

Eventually, the commotion did rouse Mac, who was standing up, just next to the bed when Palmer carried in a body. She gulped slightly, not really seeing who it was until it was dropped on the floor like a potato sac. "Harm." Clenching her jaw, she glared up at Palmer with tears in her eyes.

She didn't have to ask, thankfully, he answered. "No, he isn't dead. . .consider that my gift to you. . . for now." And with that, he quickly left, locking the door behind him.

Mac came to her knees next to Harm, he looked awful. She cradled his head in her lap, noticing the ugly mark and the dried blood that had trickled down his forehead. "Harm. . .Harm wake up." She placed a hand on his head, grateful that he didn't have a fever, which mean there probably wasn't an infection. "Please?" Just in case, she reached down and pinched him, then touched his face, looking for some sort of seam. With a sigh, she was convinced that it was him. Now if he would only wake up!

Harm could hear someone speaking to him and slowly he started coming to. Opening his eyes, they befell Mac, her face washed with a sadness he hadn't seen in a long time. "Mac." He wanted to warp his arms around her, hold her close, make sure everything was going to be just fine. And then, he remembered one stupid detail – the woman he was with was _not_ Mac. "No! Get away!" He yelled, pushing away from her when she ran a hand over his face. He groaned slightly, holding his side against the sharp pain that was driving him mad.

"Harm? What's going on?" She'd forgotten momentarily what they did to him, how he was toyed with and made to believe in some other woman. Frowning, she realized what had gone on and how miserable he had to feel. "I AM Mac, Harm. . .I'm Mac. . .Sarah. . . believe me."

But, as she tried to reach towards him, he backed away a bit more. "No. . .NO I am not listening to your lies!"

Mac couldn't take having him so close and not being able to touch him, so she tempted fate and moved in close to him. She placed her hands on his face, trapping him slightly, but he would just look away. "Listen to me, I am Mac. . .Believe me."

"What did you to do her?" He asked with tears in his eyes. "Did you kill her? Just tell me. . .FINISH IT."

"I'm not dead, Harm. . .I am here. . . I can prove it."

Harm shook his head. "Anything you say. . .you would have known about. . .You were watching us!"

Mac sighed, her hands shaking slightly, he was obviously hurt and she needed to make sure it wasn't serious. But, how could she when he was so vehement against her helping him. Quickly, she did the math as to when Harm first met Palmer, and decided to pick a topic that was in the history well past his inception into Harm's life. "The first time we went flying on 'Sarah'. . .He wouldn't know about that." Not many people did save for Bud who had, since then, start to become curious as to the nature of Harm and Mac's relationship and AJ, who had reamed out the two of them once Mac was back at the office. "I got shot. . .in the thigh, I still have a mark." She touched the area over her jeans and sighed. "I sent that night in your arms, remember?. . .You made us. . .a. .bed out of branches. . . before settling in you promised not to let them get us. . .I spent most of the night sprawled across your chest. . .you were running your hands up and down my back. . .It was the first time, in a long time that I'd felt safe, despite what was going on." Seeing he wasn't pushing her away any longer, she inched in closer to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Harm, it's me. . ."

His eyes were closed, almost as if he'd look at her, he would turn to ash. His heart wanted to believe that it was true, but his mind was still caught up in the lies he'd been fed by Palmer and Halloren, lies he believed. "I can't. . .believe."

"Believe this." She brought her left hand up, the one with ring he'd placed there. Mac was more than a little surprised that they hadn't taken that away from her. "You put it on my finger, remember? Your mother gave it to me when we thought. . .thought that you were gone."

Seeing that ring it dawned on him, Halloren didn't have the ring, she claimed Palmer had taken it. "Mac?"

She nodded. "It's me. . . I swear to God it is." Carefully, she moved even closer to him, "You know it's me."

This time, he glanced fully at her and he knew, he knew it really was her. His heart had told him so. "Oh God." He wrapped one hand around her, crushing her to him tightly as his body shook from emotion. "I thought. . . I thought I'd never see you again." Harm kissed her then, slowly and she returned every single one.

"That makes two of us." Though the circumstances were still against them, she felt better knowing he was okay. It would have been better if he were on the outside, but at least, together, they could come up with some plan, couldn't they? Mac ran her hands slowly over his body. As her hand passed his side, she noticed him wince, he hadn't removed is hand from that area since he'd been tossed into the room. "Harm, what is it?"

"Nothing. . .It's nothing." He didn't want his injury to ruin the reunion, but as her hand passed over the area again, he couldn't deny the pain that he was in.

"You wouldn't have winced if nothing was wrong." Gently, she pulled his hand away, lifting his jacket and shirt to find a rather ugly gash. "Oh God." She inspected quickly, finding a shard of glass still stuck there and that is when she registered how white he was and that Harm was losing more blood that he should have been. "Stay here, I'm going to patch you up." She headed into the bathroom and from under the cabinet, pulled out the bottle of vodka that Palmer had left along with a first aid and sewing kits. Returning, she placed the items next to him, flipping open the first aid kit to find a pair of plastic pliers. "You have a piece of glass in there, I have to get it out." Grabbing the vodka, she handed it to Harm who gave her a silent, questioning look. "A gift from Palmer, I swear, I didn't have any."

"Then I am not going to either." He replied, concerned about what the smell of vodka on his breath might do to her.

Still, she insisted, unscrewed the bottle and glared. "Drink it." Knowing not to argue with a Marine, he did as told, wincing slightly as the strong liquid washed down his throat. Taking the bottle, she used some to sterilize the pliers, then some more over the gash. Harm gritted his teeth against the pain, his body coming off of the floor slightly in an effort to ride it out. Then, just as quickly, he laid back down, his breathing short and ragged. "Don't pass out on me, flyboy." She needed him awake, just in case.

Harm nodded, then tensed his body as he felt Mac poking around at his side. He muffled his groans and screams by biting down on a towel that she'd given him. When she paused for a moment, he glanced up at her. "Just let me know when I can pass out, okay?"

"How about never?" She said with a sigh, then began to work on removing the shard, something that was becoming just a little difficult to accomplish.

He gritted his teeth. "You drive a hard bargain."

"It's the only type of bargains we Marines like." Finally, the shard was gone, but then came the need to sew up the gash in order to stop the bleeding. Sighing, she pulled out a needle, cleaned it with vodka and made sure it was properly threaded. "This is probably going to be the worst of it." She said with a frown, placing the towel over his mouth again. "I'll try to do this as quick as possible." And she did, trying to ignore his whimpers of pain as she did. The job wasn't pretty, in fact, it was a zig zag pattern, but she was more concerned with him bleeding to death than anything else. Using some more vodka, she cleansed the area, then dried it in order to put a gauze pad and tape.

Once that was done, she tried to get him up. "No, just leave me here." Harm pleaded with a weak voice, this all had taken everything out of him. All he wanted to do was sleep.

Mac shook her head, the floor beneath them was cold concrete, she didn't need him getting pneumonia as well. "Hell no, sailor. . .You're going to help me get you into bed, then you can sleep." With a grunt, she helped him to his feet, then led him slowly towards the bed, making sure he didn't lay on his injury. She adjusted the pillows, propping one just under him, lifting that side up so that it wouldn't hurt him anymore than it had to.

Harm smiled slightly when she joined him in bed. Though he was beyond exhausted, he couldn't fall asleep, not just yet. He was looking at her, almost as if it was the first time he noticed it was her. Taking in his surroundings, he saw that she'd been kept in a room and not a bad one at that. This worried him, from the little he'd dealt with psychopaths and kidnappers, the only reason they would keep someone hostage this way was because they wanted to romance the person, to get them to be theirs forever. "Did he?. . .He didn't. . .you, did he?" He couldn't quite get the word 'rape' out and in an instant he felt sick. If Palmer had touched her, even in death Harm would find a way to torment the bastard for the rest of his life.

"Palmer didn't touch me. . . I think he wanted _me_ to come to _him_. . .Some sort of Stockholm Syndrome." She scoffed at the idea of people actually falling for their captors, it was just ludicrous. Then again, it had happened before and not just once. There had been some strong, willful people who'd fallen for the wiles of those who held them against their will. It brought on some sort of bond, one that would often turn to infatuation and then that of love. Mac found the whole idea just a bit disgusting, yet slightly interesting as to how the mind could make its owner believe a lie like that.

Sighing again, she glanced at him. It was good that he was alive, it was good that she could touch him and hold him. But, she'd gladly trade the last two parts if he could be outside of this mess and safe. Mac wasn't too sure how it happened that he wound up here, but it was obvious he knew about Nikki and that this wasn't part of Palmer's plan. That worried her. How would Harm factor in now? Leaning in slightly, she pressed a palm to his cheek, caressing his face with her fingers. "Are you okay?"

"Except for the fact that I've been lied to for weeks, I am dandy thanks." He said sarcastically, trying to make light of their situation.

"Don't joke. . .I am being serious. . .are you okay, with. . ." She didn't want to outright say that she'd seen him and Halloren, that she knew they'd been together _intimately. _Mac didn't blame him for it, the same thing could have happened to her, but she knew Harm too damn well, he would blame himself for it and she didn't want that. "I mean, I _know_ what happened. . .I saw it and. . .I am not angry with you. . .It wasn't your fault."

Harm would have believed she was talking about the overall situation. How he'd let himself believe _that_ woman was her. But, there was a way that she spoke to him, she was referring to _something_ else. "What are you talking about?"

"It's okay, I understand. . . I am _not angry_ with you."

"Understand what?" Even if he were falling asleep, right now he was fully awake and concerned. He nearly panicked when she turned to look away from him. What the hell had happened? "Mac?"

"I know you made love to her." God, 'making love' suddenly sounded dirty to her. The fact that she could forgive him so easily over the affair did bother her greatly. Part of her wanted to believe that he should have noticed the differences between her and Halloren. But, what if she were in his shoes? Mac could hardly say that she wouldn't have done the same thing. "I saw it. . .Palmer, he. . .had a surveillance kit, he would show me things that went on in your apartment or mine. . .I saw. . .not all of it but. . .Harm, please don't . . ."

Slept with Halloren? As far as he could remember, the only sleeping they did was in different rooms, save for that night he talked her into letting him use the bed. For that matter, that is all they ever did, sleep, and not in the biblical sense. "I _never_ slept with her." As he noted Mac was about to argue, he jumped in, trying to clarify it. "I swear to God, Mac. . .she and I. . . I've kissed her, yes. . .but. . .I haven't slept with her. . .she tried, several times, to get me into bed, I pushed her away. . .I didn't know why it was so difficult, but now I know why." Sighing, he placed a hand over Mac's, holding it close to him as he thanked God for that miracle. Sleeping with Halloren, that would have been the nail in the coffin, it would have been the end of him if he'd given his body to the wrong woman.

"But, the screens. . I saw. . ." Mac trailed off, stopping to gauge what exactly she saw in the screens. Palmer had told her once that he'd taped everything for the past few months that involved her and Harm. That mean he had videos of her and Harm together. "He taped us, you and I. . .then played it back so. . .that I'd believe you cheated on me. . .Bastard!" She wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling a coldness permeate her very soul. The things he'd done to get his kicks were disgusting. "I suddenly feel. . .so . . ."

"Violated." Harm offered, then pulled her close to him, careful not to hurt his side. "I'm so sorry, Mac. .forgive me."

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Harm."

How could she flat out say that he didn't need to be forgiven? The way he saw it, this was all his fault. Had he never gotten involved with trying to debunk the Bradenhurst Corporation, Palmer wouldn't have become his biggest fan. Course, he could have also spent more time in contact with Leavenworth, making sure the bastard was tucked away from reaching civilization. That whole, out of sight, out of mind thing rang just a little too close to home in the instance of the former DSD agent.

The worst, however, was that he allowed himself to believe another woman was Mac. Damnit, didn't he know Palmer better than that? "I should have know it wasn't her. . .I think I did know, but I was too. . .hurt."

"Harm. . .I don't blame you. . .Palmer, he. . .he's been planning this for so long. . .we didn't stand a chance." That was the reality that ticked her off greatly, the fact that they'd both been taken at time when they'd been working through a major issue, one that was handled pretty well, considering her outburst at his apartment over her lack of being able to have his children. Palmer had timed it perfectly, at a time when _both_ of them were feeling vulnerable.

Frowning, he pulled her hand to his chest, resting it near his heart. "I want to tell you that we'll get out of this one."

"You can't and I don't expect you to. . ." Still, she was resolute in finding a way out and if that dripping hole in the bathroom meant anything, then she was, at least, breaking through the wall. "Get some rest, Harm. . .You need it."

His eyes closed and his breath evened out with a long sigh. He _was_ exhausted, maybe a little sleep was a good idea? "Mac, I love you." He said with a soft voice as he felt her drape a sheet over his body.

"I love you, too." She decided to stay by his side, watching him sleep, taking his temperature in hopes that infection would not settle in. Mac had been by his side for nearly two hours when she heard the sound of something dripping in the bathroom. Gently, to not wake him, she waited for the camera to pan away, then quickly created a bundle next to his sleeping form, hoping that it looked as if someone were resting by his side.

As the camera started to pan back she hid in the shadows then bolted across the room and into the bathroom. Water was seeping in through the hole in the wall and onto the ground, wetting the whole area around the head. She grinned slightly, "At least I made some sort of impact." With one glance out the door and to the love of her life, she decided that there was a new reason to keep working on an escape. Reaching under the cabinet, she pulled out the spoon and went back to hacking at the wall as best she could, smiling broadly as larger pieces started coming away.

1756 Zulu  
Harm's Apartment  
North of Union Station

"God damnit, Rabb, open this door up or I am going to break it open!" Clayton Webb threatened with gritted teeth as his tight fist slammed into the door once again. Okay, he'd find a different way to get in. Clay glanced around and produced a small case which held a lock picking gun. He slipped it into the keyhole, pressed down the button and felt the tumblers inside the locking mechanism fall into the correct place. With a satisfied grin, he pushed the door open and stepped in, noting an eerie silence. "Rabb, where the _hell _are you?"

Since the night Harm appeared at his doorstep and pounded him into a pulp, Webb hadn't had a chance to get to the bottom of things. Obviously it had to do with Sarah, he deduced, but wasn't quite sure what brought the attack on. It had left both him and Catherine perturbed and he swore he'd figure it out once had a chance. This day, as she was out getting their child, preparing him to meet his father, he took that brief moment to find out what Harm's problem was.

Slowly, he walked around the apartment, checking every nook and cranny. He ran his hand over the furniture, noting the semi-thick dust that rested atop of the pictures on Harm's bookcase. "That's odd." He thought, furling his brow slightly. Harm was an impeccably clean individual, it was branded into him at the Academy.

CIA agents, by nature, were taught to scrutinize everything about a location. He could tell you where certain things in Harm's apartment had been located the last time he was there. Too bad all of his training didn't help with particularly tough missions, he thought ruefully, still not fully pleased with himself over Paraguay. As he was buried in thoughts, his eye moved to a black spot on the trusses of Harm's ceiling. "That wasn't there before." He said out loud and used the barstools to hop up onto the kitchen island. It was a camera and, by the looks of it, not one put in by the CIA or any other organization, but one done so privately. Jumping back down, he scoffed slightly at the idea that maybe they _liked_ to record their 'playtime' together.

Shrugging, he stepped out of Harm's apartment, locked the door and drove his car in the direction of Mac's. Neither of them had answered any types of calls. For the life of him, he really couldn't understand what the hell he did that had Rabb so pissed off. Even when Mac had flat out chosen him over the Commander, he'd known that one day, they would duke it out. When the day never came, he'd ignored all of that, until the night before. He could still see Harm's cool blue eyes wide with range as he pounded his fist downwards. You wouldn't get Webb to admit it, but he had been scared.

Arriving at Mac's place, he employed the same tactic to open the door, using the lock picking gun. He stepped in quietly, wanting to surprise them and launch into some tirade at Rabb. What he found though, shocked him. Mac's living room was a mess. Lamps were turned over, the sofa was out of place, but, the sight that disturbed him the most was the coffee table. It lay broken in a zillion pieces and on top were the remnants of a vase that was covered in some red liquid. It had to be blood. He walked towards the wreckage, kneeling down in order to touch the substance. It felt like blood, smelled like it too. "What the hell?" Straightening himself, he took out the pistol that lay concealed inside the pocket of his jacket and slowly, he made his way to the bedroom. The bed was unmade and from the bathroom was a familiar smell of vomit. What had happened?

Quickly, he pulled out his cell phone only to hear a voice from the living room. He launched himself towards the side of the bed, ducking down so that if the person walked in, he would not be seen. From under the bed, Clay kept his finger on the trigger of his pistol, waiting for the person to walk over, so he could shoot their ankles out. "Commander? Colonel?" Thankfully, he hesitated long enough, that voice was familiar. It was Bud.

Webb stood up from behind the bed, giving the Lt. Commander quite a shock. "Mr. Webb, you scared me." He glanced at the agent with a raised brow. "What happened? Where are Harm and Mac?"

Webb shook his head and opted to place the gun back into the holster. "I don't know, but the living room doesn't look too good." He glared at the younger man for a moment. "Why are you here Commander?"

Bud gave him his own glare. "The Commander and the Colonel were supposed to meet us for dinner. When they didn't call and we couldn't get them on their phones, I thought it might be a good idea to check it out. . ." He fished out his cell phone from his pocket and immediately began dialing digits.

Webb placed his hands on his waist wondering just what Bud was up to. "Who are you going to call?"

"Well, it isn't the Ghostbusters, that's for sure." He turned away from the agent, sighing slightly as the line came alive on the other line. "Yes, sir. . uh, I mean, AJ. . .It's about Harm and Mac. . .I think they've been taken." . . . .

Tina - LOL! Sprinkle the holy water! Hurry! ;)

Cristina - DOn't be too hard on Harm, he's had some issues. . .besides, I rather liked Mac taking are of him. :) Patching his sexy six back up. ;)

froggy - shrugs So I have a cliffhanger problem? MED's aren't working alright! sobs Eww, no he didn't do Mac2... ewww.

nk - Dood! I was a little pissed with him dying on DH. I rather liked his interaction with Marcia Cross. As long as the man doesn't end up somewhere playing opposite CB I am cool. ;) Sucky way to die, but that show is just woah!

jaggurl - It's ending soon, so that I can make headway on another story. :) Sorry, but all good things have to end:)

harmfan - Dead as a doornail, just not sure who is going to off him. Any suggestions? ;)

Feverish - Webb's an ass, he is. . .I hate him, but this way he had a priority to get the hell away from Mac for some reason. Just in case, cos, you never knw. ;)

Wuchel - Angst! Me! Why would I write angst! OO Thanks for the compliments and yes, Angst Junkie here. ;)

jtbwriter - It's not that much on high, trust me, the original story broke me angst-o-meter. ;)

LtJGMEg - But, Nikki is just a pawn, a stupid one, but a pawn. Wow, and I wrote her as a shrink didn't I? Scary huh? LOL!

XBlue - Kill me? Then how would I wrap up this story? Hmm... Calix, use more tape, huh? hands over fifty rolls ;)


	20. Escape

Erm, well, okay, it got longer. Maybe a chapter two or more. No I am not purposely trying to hit 200 pages. . .It might end around 180ish or something. And yes, then an epilouge. :)A nice one, with a bow on it. . . .Well, no bows, but a nice one, maybe with a beach in it. ;)

Enjoy!

Jackie

Part 20 – Escape

1840 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

"What the hell are they doing here?" Webb asked loudly, glaring at the men that were now in Mac's place. He'd stepped outside for a moment, headed downstairs to privately call Catherine and let her know of the situation. She seemed earnestly concerned with Harm and Mac's wellbeing and understood that he needed to help out. Then, he patched in a call to NCIS; Gibbs was heading over with his team.

Annoyed, Bud turned to glare at Webb, shaking his head at how the man ended up stuck in the middle of all these major happenings with Harm and Mac. "Mr. Webb, the Colonel and the Commander are our friends, close friends. . .I am not going to let you screw with their lives again."

AJ and Sturgis both chuckled at Bud's bravado. The former SEAL found it even more amusing, especially after he'd seen Bud, literally, grow up before his eyes. "Webb, what the hell are you doing here anyway?"

"I came to speak to Rabb." Defeated, he leaned up against the wall. "He attacked me the other night."

The three men standing before him couldn't help the satisfied smirks, no matter how much Webb supposedly 'helped' non of them could forgive the man for his past disasters and the fact that Harm and Mac seemed to be in the center of the downfall. It was difficult for AJ to respond without chuckling, but he tried anyway. "Why did he attack you?"

Webb shrugged. "How in the hell would I know?. . .He just did and I came to find out why. . .and I found this." He waved his hand over the wreckage, frowning slightly. What the hell had happened? "The man has been unstable for a while, AJ. I wouldn't be surprised if they got into some sort of fight and _he_ hurt Mac."

"You son of a bitch!" Bud was, normally, the calm one of the bunch. He could actually count, with just a couple of fingers the times that he'd attacked someone. It surprised his friends to see Bud wind up and then strike, landing a perfect blow to Webb's face. As he went to launch himself at the agent again, Sturgis pulled him back. "Harm would _never_ hurt Mac, _never!_ You're just upset that, in the end, she went to _him_ not _you._"

"Easy, Bud." Sturgis kept a hold on the younger man, keeping tabs on not shifting him around too much and harm his prosthetic leg.

Gibbs and Kate walked at this time, both catching the tail end of the punch, glancing between the men with slight amusement. Neither of them liked Webb, who could blame them? "You gentlemen need me to bring out the measuring stick?" Kate said with a grin, stepping in to greet AJ and the two JAG officers. Webb, she semi-ignored. In fact, no one helped him off the floor.

"What happened?" Taking a scan of Mac's apartment, the part that worried Gibbs the most was the blood where the coffee table once was. "Kate get a sample of that blood."

Webb, who finally managed to get to his feet, spoke up. "I got here first and found this place a wreck."

Immediately, Gibbs went into investigator mode. "Was the door open?"

"Uh." Woops, perhaps it wasn't the best thing to be _caught_ doing a little B and E, even if it was with good intentions. Unfortunately for Webb, his intentions were hardly ever that good. In a way, the reason why he'd arrived at Mac's apartment was to start a little battle with Rabb. Yes, he was happy that him and Catherine had some understanding, but, that didn't mean he really liked Harm and Mac being _together_. In fact, that evening, as he lay silently in bed, contemplating what the hell had made Harm attack him, he realized that Mac needed someone better. "No. . .it wasn't."

"You picked the lock?" Kate said, slightly exasperated. "Do you know something Webb? Something we should know?"

"No, look. . Rabb and I had an. . .altercation . . .the other night and I came by to see what it was about." It sounded silly, stupid, in fact, he noticed that it sounded as if _he_ was responsible for this mess. "I knocked, no one would open, so I picked the lock and walked in to find this. . .Roberts walked in a few minutes later."

After collecting the blood, Kate nodded towards Gibbs. "I'll have our crew check it out, we should have some sort of ID in less than an hour if we expedite it."

"Do it." Gibbs said, then turned towards Webb and the others. "We need to search this place, slowly, carefully, if you find something, tag it and bag it. . .Kate, bring up the box of gloves we have in the car and the evidence bags." Turning back towards the remnants of the coffee table, Gibbs frowned. Palmer was involved in this, he could feel it. "Damnit. . .the guy is good." He said under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief.

1852 Zulu  
Arlington, Virginia

Nichole Halloren was pissed. Actually, a little more than just pissed, she was seething. "What the hell have you done to _my_ apartment?" Funny how, when half of a couple screws up, the other tends to become proprietary. Then again, when your other half turns your formerly, impeccably clean apartment into the control center for NASA, you just might get irked yourself. "What _is_ all of this crap?" There were eight inch screens, at least two dozen of them showing different images – black and white, color and eve thermal images.

Some of the images were of Harm's empty apartment, the others of Mac's, now buzzing, apartment and the rest were of the foundry where Harm and Mac were captive. There weren't too many cameras inside the foundry, the bad state of the building had made it pointless for Palmer to waste money on several, unnecessary cameras. Besides, even if someone tried to rescue Mac, the door to her cell was impermeable.

Sheepishly, Palmer grinned up at Halloren. "Babe, I needed a base of operation. . .You didn't want me around Colonel MacKenzie all the time did you?" He knew talking about Mac would hit a raw emotion, the woman was utterly jealous of the Marine. "At least here, I can see what she is up to and not be there." Standing, he motioned for Nikki to sit on his 'command' chair and she did so with a slight bit of awe. "I can see what every one is doing. . .it's perfect."

Yea, but she still wasn't too happy about it. "Not to burst your bubble, _darling._" She said with a sarcastic tone. "What the hell are you going to do about Harm and the Colonel?"

Ah, see, _that_ was the problem. Palmer wasn't sure, at all. He never really planned for Harm to figure it all out. Stupid not to have a plan B, but when you've burned so much money on creating the perfect imposter, you don't really plan ahead, well, not _that_ far ahead. He still had money, enough to get out of the country and start anew somewhere nice and tropical. Thing is, could he just 'retire' and live that whole bohemian lifestyle his former colleagues gave into? Well, he certainly could start some sort of business abroad, make a decent, legal living. He would, of course, take Nikki with him. She was an attractive woman, decent in bed and though eh didn't harbor any real feelings for the woman, she could be entertaining. If anything, he could always get rid of her, them being foreigners in a foreign country allowed for an anonymity if he needed to stick her six feet under.

Still, it _bothered_ him to leave Harm and Mac to die in their little confines. Not because he felt bad about it, Palmer could care less if they lived or died, but because he _wouldn't_ get to see it. And that was unacceptable. "We have enough money to go anywhere we want. . .No one will find either of them, I haven't left a trace."

"You're going to leave them to die?" Her voice carried loudly through the apartment and out of anger for the current situation, he raise his hand to strike her, stopping only a few inches before making contact.

"No so loud, do you want all of Arlington to know what we've been up to?"

Why was she suddenly feeling this tug at her conscience? Maybe it was the slight passing of rage in her lovers eyes? Maybe it was the knowledge that she was partaking crimes like those committed by the prisoners she used psychoanalyze in Leavenworth? All in all, she had to admit that Harmon Rabb, was a good man. He'd stuck by her, even as she was faked all of these horrible things. Most men, she knew, would have just run the other way, but he stuck it out because he _loved_ Mac. A man that loved that way couldn't be all bad, could he?

Her mind traveled back in time, backwards to her relationship with Clark Palmer. She'd fallen for him hard. She loved to hear him talk with such elegance and professionalism. She'd loved the way he seemed to know how to heal her inner demons. She loved his scheming mind and it's intuition. But as her memories moved closer to the present, she realized one thing, the man she fell for, was not the same man anymore. _That_ man wouldn't have made an attempt to hit her. "Don't you _ever_ raise your hand at me again, Clark, you hear me?"

Palmer scowled at her, maybe his ideas of taking her with him were bad? If he wanted women, he could surely get some by just flashing some money around. He stood up, grabbed her by the arm and literally flung Nikki's body across the room. She careened against a chair and before she could stop herself, Nikki stumbled. For Palmer, it couldn't have gotten any better, it was one less person he needed to be troubled with. He grinned happily as her forehead made contact with the corner of the coffee table. A second later the woman lay on the ground, unconscious. Yes, it was definitely better to do things without a woman around. Now all he had to do was make sure Rabb and MacKenzie never saw the light of day again.

1934 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Warmth, it seemed like forever since he'd woken up with this total feeling of warmth. Sighing, he didn't want to wake up, to find out that his reunion with Mac, albeit under an extreme circumstance, was all a dream. Taking a chance he propped one eye open only to find that he'd been curled up with a pillow not a warm body. Sighing, he went to turn over only feel a sharp pain on the side she'd stitched up. He breathed slowly, allowing for the pain to dull as he sat up in bed.

Faintly, he could hear a scratch and cracking sound coming from his right. What the hell was that? "Mac?"

Her hands were raw again, even though she'd been using her socks to shield her hands. She could feel them painfully peeling under the fabric and one of them had started to bleed. Mac ignored the pain, working hard on removing more pieces of wall, making that gap even larger. The rain had weakened some of the wall and it was easier to remove now, thank God. "Mac?" Hearing her name, she crawled to the door and peaked out to find Harm sitting up in bed. "What are you doing?"

Mac shook her head and pointed up towards where the camera was. Thankfully, he understood and sneakily glanced up at the camera which was now panning towards the door to the bathroom. "While the camera pans this way, quickly make a bundle on the bed, make it look like we're both laying there." She whispered. "Then walk forward and close to the door, you'll be out of its sight."

Harm nodded and settled himself back in bed, wrapping his arm around the pillow and blankets, in a way that made it seem he was wrapping his arms around a person. As soon as the camera panned, he worked quickly on making a bundle, then headed as Mac told him, missing the camera's sights completely. Slowly, he stepped into the bathroom and glanced down at Mac who was sitting on the filthy ground, her hands covered in socks one of them bearing a red mark that was seeping through. "Mac? Your hand." He sat on the edge of the tub and took her hand in his. Taking off the sock he examined it, frowning slightly at the ugly gash on her hand. "It's infected." He said, frowning at the pus that was starting to bubble up. With a frown, he instinctively dove under the cabinet pulling out the first aid kit. He found a tiny bottle of hydrogen peroxide which he poured over the gash. Next, he put the healing ointment and a bandage. "There." He said, giving her palm of her hand a soft kiss.

It was then, as he started waking fully, that he noticed what she had been doing. His eyes widened slightly at the hole adjacent to the head. All Mac could do was chuckle. "I've been a little busy." She opened her other hand to show him the 'tool' she'd been using and grinned. "Not bad considering what I had to work with?"

"Jesus, Mac." He walked to the hole, finding the water that was seeping in from the rain outside. Studying it, he found mold and mildew, also a crack that seemed to run upwards, disappearing under the tiles. "Let me give something a try, move a sec." He pushed her out of the way, sat down and angled his booted foot just above the hole. Grinding his teeth against the pain from his side, he gave the wall a swift kick, noting that some more debris, another rather large chunk did fall. In fact, they could now see to the room next door. Coming to his knees, he looked through the hole to find an empty office with broken windows and a leaking roof.

"What do you see?" She asked, excited that something was finally working. Maybe that's all it took? For the two of them to work together?

Harm turned to her and grinned. "It's an empty office." He moved away, allowing her to look through for her self. On the floor, he found a box of matches, which he palmed and stared at. Ideas were already going in circles. "Do these work?"

Mac stood, stared at the box and sighed. That was a good question. "Some did, many didn't. . .that was the last one left." She watched him, raising an eyebrow in question, almost hearing the wheels turning in his head. "What are you thinking?"

Perhaps the only good thing about him not being locked up like Mac, was that he could give a fresh opinion on the situation. "If we stuff some cloth in the vodka bottle, then light the end, we have an instant grenade." He pointed out, then chewed on his lower lip while looking at Mac. With a sigh, he turned towards the wall, there was no telling if the 'instant grenade' would work or not. If it did, okay, so they had a way to move into another room. If it didn't and the flames spread, they were royally screwed.

"We can't use it against the wall. . .I don't think a place this big would just give into a little flame." She'd thought about using the vodka before as well, the idea died when she had concerns of burning to death, something she didn't want to ever experience. "It _is, _however, the only weapon we have."

Harm nodded, agreeing with her assessment. "We need to use something to break through though. . .that . . .uh. . .utensil?" He supplied, not sure what to call what she'd been using as a tool. "It's about to die."

Mac sighed, "Actually, I think it died a few days ago. . .I keep resurrecting it." She chuckled despite herself then sat on top of the toilet seat cover. A silly grin spread on Harm's face as he on the floor glancing up at her. "What?" She said with a raised brow, looking around, trying to spot what he was looking at. "What is it?"

"I have an idea." He moved himself next to the toilet, trying to come up with some way to prop up the caps that covered the bolts on the floor. Wordlessly, he took the spoon from Mac, using it to successfully prop them open to reveal a set of badly rusted bolt. "Damnit, I'd have hoped they would be in better condition." He fretted then stared up at Mac who had taken off on of the socks from her hand and passed it to him. Grinning, it amused him to see how in sync they were, especially after spending all of this time apart. He took her hand in his, kissed the back of it then smiled. "Thank you." With a sigh, he placed the sock on his hand, then positioned himself in a way that he could get some leverage into turning the nut that held the bolt in place. Nothing happened. "Damnit!"

"Harm, if they are that badly rusted, maybe we can just break it off?" She pushed herself slightly over him, reaching for the valve to shut off the water. Then, she flushed the toilet, cleaning it of any water that would have remained in the tank or the bowl. Mac moved to one side and Harm held to the other. "Okay on three. . .two. . . one!" With a hard yank, the porcelain broke around the bolts, and the toilet came free.

Harm helped Mac up, moving her slightly away from the opening that she'd dug. "Stand back." He picked it up, grunting slightly from both pain and pressure as he moved it into the bathtub. "There, now it's out of our way." He didn't know how much time they had, or weather or not Palmer would show up, but they had to try. That was, after all, one of the main objectives of a POW. With a plop, he settled himself down in front of the hole, wrapping his hands around the material within, with the hopes of pulling more of it loose. Miraculously, he succeeded, but it still wasn't enough to fit either of them. "Damnit, we need something we can use to hack at it. . . that spoon isn't cutting it anymore." He thought briefly about trying to toss the toilet at the wall, but knew that the hard surface would just crack the porcelain into pieces. There had to be another way that wouldn't hinder more than help them.

Snapping her fingers, Mac moved quickly to the door. "I have an idea." She waited for the camera to pan, then quickly dashed across the room, took one of the metal chairs and made it back into the bathroom. "We don't need a massive hole, just enough for us to squeeze through." She held up a hand and motioned for Harm to move out of the way. Once he did, she lunged at the hole with everything she had, hitting it right on the side with enough force to both damage the chair and break off another chunk. Gritting her teeth she made another hit, then another and another before her arms were shaking from the friction. "Did it work?"

Harm studied the hole, it wasn't a massive improvement, but what she had done was loosen a cinderblock that was already worse for ware. "Yea, I think it did." He took what was left of the spoon and hacked through some of the 'filling' which made one block hold onto another. To his surprise, it came away easily, with a minimal amount of force. "Okay, let try kicking it again." He angled his foot, this time with better precision and, using the heel of his boot, made contact. The blow hurt his knee, he could feel a pain jar up through his leg, but it also unfastened the cinderblock, now leaving a hole big enough for each of them to fit through. "Ladies first." He offered with a grunt as he came to his feet.

"Harm." Mac sat him on the edge of the tub, then used her hands to gauge if he was injured or not. She found he would wince slightly when she made it to his knee. "How bad does it hurt?"

"Not that bad, it'll pass. . .we have to get going, Mac." It was no time for her to argue with him, so he stood up quickly, successfully coming to his feet. "I'll be fine." He looked her in the eye with as much sincerity as possible. Yes, he would be fine, but he also bit back a groan as he felt something wet and warm leaking down his side. He knew he'd opened up the stitching that she'd done. Mac nodded, making a mental note to watch his every move. She scooted herself through the hole first, pausing slightly to make sure they were alone.

To the left side, she found a series of windows, some broken, some not. From up above, there was a horrible amount of seeping going on, so much that it left a yellow mark, branding the ceiling for life. Harm passed over the vodka bottle, and then, carefully slide himself through. The fit was a bit tighter for him, but with a tug from Mac he was on the other side. Steadily he came to his feet, staring around. "Where the hell are we?"

Mac shrugged. "I don't know, but the first time I escaped I got a decent look at the place, it was like some sort of foundry." She whispered, catching his attention.

"Foundry?"

"Yea, why?"

Harm's breath caught in his throat. He'd been there before, in fact, he was so close to climbing the steps and walking to this metal door. The gypsy woman _was_ right, all he had to do was follow his heart. "I was here. . .I knew you were here, I could _feel_ it. . ."

"What do you mean you were here?"

"Something led me here, Mac. . .I stood, ready to climb up here to find you. . .I felt you. . ."

Mac nodded. "Explain that later." Tentatively, she headed towards the door of the leaking office and pressed herself up against the wall. She peaked out slightly, noting that they were on the upper floor and all around them was that catwalk. "How far are we from civilization?" She asked, turning to Harm slightly.

He wasn't looking too good, she noticed. In fact, he was pale and getting worse by the minute. Still, Harm carried himself with strength and confidence, something that made her try harder. "Not too far away. . . on foot, once we get out of these grounds, I'd say we're about a twenty minute walk before we hit a residential area." Mac nodded, fifteen minutes. She wasn't sure if they had that much time, but it was worth a shot, they had to make it out this time.


	21. Rhythm Of Hope

It's over! It's over! It's FINALLY over! AMEN! Well, not totally over, there is a short story coming up, an epilogue to end the "torture" series. It's called, for now, "Until the End of time" and would be a 3 or 4 short chapters. I hope to have chapter 1 on Friday. Cool? Cool! Good !;)

Thanks for the support on this one and yes, you wusses who wait for stories to be OVER before you read them, you can start reading now, it ends all nice and fuzzyish. ;)

Thanks guys for your patience:)

It's been wonderful

Jackie

Thanks to: joanoa, smithknk, mariarita, xobabygurlxo, Brittany4445, starryeyes10, jnp, dansingwolf, LiseGirardi, Martini, JadeAlmasy, Dessler, BiteBeccy, aserene, LtjgMegAustin, cbw, southernqt, froggy, harmfan, Judy, jtbwriter, Abigaile, XBlueShadowX, jaggurl, Lurkz, alix33, Nix707, echorage, aserene, chantelmac, Ink, Wuchel, CarbyGurl, Cristina, Inkand,Feverish Dream, Wuchel, minorcadence, mechanical, mariarita, Tammy, bluejay, anyone else I missed for the feedback :)

Part 21 – Rhythm Of Hope

2018 Zulu  
Mac's Apartment  
Georgetown

They had been checking the apartment for quite some time, but it was Bud, who found something that they all found odd. "Sirs?" He walked out of Mac's bedroom and called the rest of the crew in pointing to a speck above Mac's vanity. "I don't know why, but I had a feeling to look here."

Webb was unimpressed, he'd been in Mac's apartment before and probably knew as much about it as Harm did. "Yes, it's a vanity, Commander, many women have one."

Bud shook his head, the temptation to slug the man again passed fleetingly through his mind. "No. . .LOOK." He pointed at the speck. "Is it just me or does that look like a pinhole camera?"

Chegwidden stared at the speck, then ran his finger over it. "There's definitely something there."

Webb stepped up to the vanity and excused himself as he looked around for signs of a bug. "Does anyone have a knife?" He was handed one by Gibbs and quickly went to work on removing the mirror. To his surprise, it peeled almost on it's own. "You were right, Commander." Behind the mirror was a neatly taped, thin wire which ran up towards the section where the pinhole camera would be found. "Mr. Roberts, call up CIA headquarters, let them know I need a team down here with a counter-surveillance kit." Bud nodded once and took Webb's proffered phone to patch in the call. "Damnit." He shook his head slightly. "Damnit! I am such a fool."

AJ couldn't deny that, but he bit that comment back. "What is it Webb?"

"I was at Rabb's apartment earlier today, I found a camera. . .Which means someone has been watching them."

"It isn't you, is it?" The thought nauseated Sturgis more that he could admit. Mainly because he couldn't put it past Webb to do something so underhanded.

"No!" Webb yelled, scowling at the officer.

"It's Palmer." Gibbs said with no uncertainty.

Webb placed his hands on his hips, shaking his head slightly. "I thought he was dead."

"You really are a fool if you believed that Webb." Flipping his phone that had just started ringing, Gibbs had a short conversation with the other person on the line. "Damnit, that blood. . .it's Rabbs. . . Webb, we need your men down here now. . . Roberts, Turner, you two know the Commander and the Colonel best, take a drive around town, contact the local hospitals, see if we can get to the bottom of this."

2020 Zulu  
Location Unknown  
Virginia

Slowly, Harm took in the room they were standing in. It was an office, so there were desks. "Maybe we should look through these desks, see if we can find an actual weapon." He whispered, waving the bottle vodka which they had shoved a piece of cloth into. It was doubtful that they would find a pistol or something lethal, Palmer wouldn't be that stupid to lock them up and leave weapons nearby, would he? Mac nodded and Harm kept an eye on the door as she rummaged through all of the drawers. Nothing was found.

"Nothing. . .at all." Just in case, she squatted down in front of the desk and searched under it. There was a hook, similar to those that could be used to secure a gun under the desk. There was even a holster, but not a gun. "Damnit. . .Palmer is just a little untrusting."

Harm chuckled. "Next time I'll make sure we get captured by more considerate sociopaths."

Mac shook her head. "Next time? If there's a next time, I think I am going to lose it." She rocked on her heels then stood up and looked at him. "You don't feel well?" It was more of a statement than a question, she walked quickly towards Harm and attempted to check on his wound. "Damnit, why didn't you say something? I could have. . ."

"Mac, we don't have time. . .we'll worry about it when we get out of here." He stilled her hand and pulled it away before she felt just how badly he was doing. "I'm fine. . .I'll be fine. . I promise."

And she would have believed him had she not known Harm as well as she did. He had a tendency to under compensate pain. He was pale, too pale and she could feel his skin was slightly feverish. Yet, she did as told, she pulled away and nodded. "Let's get out of here." She pressed herself up against the wall, peering out the door and downwards, not finding anything to impede their escape.

Harm followed suit, inwardly cursing not having some sort of weapon either than the vodka bottle in his hand. The matches he kept on the front pocket of his jeans, hoping that it didn't take him too long to snatch and strike them if something difficult should arise. After a quick, silent, prayer, he dashed out after Mac, cautiously heading down the catwalk towards the steps that would take them downwards. Thunder rumbled outside, echoing in the cavernous main room of the foundry. Despite the torrential downpour, there were beads of light that would sneak in through the windows and cracks around the building.

Mac arrived at the steps and slowly descended, careful of the more rust laden ones that seemed just a bit too precarious. They didn't speak as they moved downward, both of them using a soft movement so that their steps would not sound. The tension in his body was causing just a little more pain to Harm's injured side. He could literally feel a wet, stickiness that was the blood seeping from the wound. Still, he was trying to focus on getting them out of there quickly and safely.

A loud crash of thunder nearly made Mac miss a few steps. Thankfully, Harm reached a hand out, steadying her before they continued downwards. Taking a tumble wasn't something she wanted to do again. It was a miracle she hadn't broken a few bones the first time or worse, been impaled by some of the metal that was unfastened. Reaching the bottom, she let out a breath she wasn't even sure she'd been holding, then turned to find Harm sweating profusely. This concerned her. He shouldn't have been _this_ exerted from going down some steps. His breath was ragged and when Harm reached the bottom step, she saw him sway slightly, then hold up his hand to stop her from helping.

"Keep going." He told her in a low, firm voice. The bottle of vodka nearly slipped out of his hand and he had to grip it tighter as he fumbled through his pocket for the matches. They were nearly outside, less than fifty feet away from their freedom and his only thought was to burn the place to the ground. Mac ignored his command and stood by him, grasping the bottle so that he could light it. He seemed grateful, but at the same time irritated that she was still there instead of closer to the outside.

For once, something seemed to go right. The match lit up on it's first strike and as soon as Harm ignited the cloth at the end off the bottle, Mac hurled it close these boxes that were piled near the machinery. They braced themselves as a controlled, mini-explosion ignited the boxes in mere seconds. Unfortunately, that is as far as they got. Five bullets had whizzed by them, the sound masked by the symphony of lightening and thunder that Mother Nature was playing. Harm had missed it completely, but Mac had seen a bit of concrete just a few feet away from them, burst out in fragments. That just didn't seem right. She whirled around quickly seeing a shadow walking away from the flames and towards them. It was Palmer.

Though she'd been in some combat situations, Mac wasn't ever sure what people meant when they said that their lives 'flashed before their eyes.' To her, that metaphor was completely ridiculous. She heard the click of the trigger and in a split second, her life _did _flash before her eyes in some super sonic, hyper, fast forward clip. In that split millisecond, instead of worrying about herself, Mac's last thought was to push Harm out of the way. She tackled him, feeling as if she'd hit a brick wall straight on. Then there was a pain, a sharp burn in her flesh as their bodies fell to the ground together.

Instinctively, ignoring the searing pain from where the bullet grazed her arm, she pulled herself up more, covering his torso with her body. Mac had found her way to the gash on his side. Pulling away and glancing at her hand, she found it covered in blood – the stitches had ripped open. "No. . .Oh no." She took a quick glance at Palmer as an explosion from the flames sent him towards the ground. She then turned to Harm, trying to rouse him so that they could use Palmer's misfortune to their advantage. "Harm. .. Wake up, Harm!" She placed her hands on his face, slapping him in order to wake him up. "Please, wake up!"

Wake up? He was awake, but very, very tired and in pain. But, the pain would go away if she would just let him sleep. Lazily, Harm cracked open his eyes to just a sliver, enough to find Mac worriedly hovering over him. He knew he wasn't going to make it anymore, but that didn't mean she couldn't. "Go." He said as firmly as possible, but she wasn't responsive, instead she insisted on trying to get him up. "No, Mac. . .Go!" Forcefully, he tried to push her body off of him, but only succeeded in moving her slightly.

"I am _not_ leaving you here!" She yelled at him, then came to her feet. It would probably hurt him more, but, if she had to, Mac was going to drag him out of there. Glancing towards Palmer she noticed him trying to get to the gun that was a few feet away from him. Whoever had control of that weapon, would have control of the situation. She knew this, but as much as she didn't want to leave Harm, the situation was clear – she had to get that weapon.

It all felt like slow motion, the tact she took to get to the weapon. But, as she lunged for it, so did Palmer and he got to it first. Mac lay on the ground staring down the barrel of the gun. "Get up, Sarah." Palmer commanded as he stumbled upwards himself. "Walk over to Harmy." He said, pointing the gun towards where Harm's body lay on the ground. She did as told, keeping her hands upwards in surrender until she reached Harm's side.

Mac squatted down next to him, immediately reaching for a pulse. It was there, but he needed medical attention and fast. Angrily, she turned over to Palmer, speaking through gritted teeth. "He needs help."

"Oh the cut?" Palmer said, scratching his head as if in thought. "We were having a little skirmish and he went through your coffee table. . . Woops."

"He _needs_ help!" Mac insisted, her strong gaze turning into a more pleading one. She had to get through to him and at least save Harm, even if it meant prejudicing herself.

"Now, why would I help him? Hmm? I've spent all of these years trying to find a way to kill him. . .Why would I just let him live?"

There was something that he wanted, she only hoped it was something he wanted more than killing Harm. "Because you want me. . ." She said, pushing down the feeling of nausea that bubbled up. Palmer's eyebrow shot up in question and she laid it all down for him. "You said you wanted me? Well, I'm yours." Standing she opened her arms, signifying that she would give herself to him. "Get him help. . .Let him go and I'll give myself to you."

Palmer couldn't help the satisfied grin that appeared on his lips. "You're going to give yourself to me?" The fire raged behind them, casting a glow over him, making the man look utterly demonic.

Mac nodded. It was a small sacrifice to be paid in order for Harm to be kept safe. Maybe, eventually, if Palmer let his guard down, she could escape. "Yes."

"Get up, then."

"Not until you _promise_ you'll let him live." She continued blocking Harm's body with her own, hoping to come to some sort of agreement.

The deal was made with the devil. "Okay, I agree. . now GET UP." Once she did, he reached to his back pocket and tossed her a set of cuffs. "Snap it on one wrist then turn around." Once she did, he snapped the cuff on her other wrist, then pulled her back away from Harm. "Let's get you out of here, shall we?" He shoved her forward, walking behind Mac as she headed out of the building. Once they were about five yards away, he pulled back on the cuffs and whispered menacingly into her ear. "Remember how I promised to help Harmy? I LIED."

Fundamentally, she knew it was stupid to believe Palmer, but, what else could she do? Sure, there was plenty of fight left in Mac, but she was thinking more of the big picture and the man that she was in love with, one that she had to protect. Her heart thumped under her ribcage as the seconds ticked on by like minutes. Damn her internal clock, at the moment, it was really irritating her. "Palmer, please! You have me. . .Please!"

He just laughed. "I thought you military types were supposed to be smart, Sarah." He shoved her slightly, using the fact that he had her wrists tied to his advantage. "Did you really think I would just let him live? . . .I don't think so." He checked his watch and grinned. "By the way the fire you two started is spreading, I'd say he has a little over ten minutes, if that smoke doesn't kill him first."

"Please." She pleaded with her best damsel in distress voice, but when she was met with more of his laughter, Mac stopped abruptly, causing Palmer to bump into her. She used that brief pause to bring the heel of her shoe down on his foot, as little maneuver taught in bootcamp. Then, she forcefully brought her head backwards but missed, instead, Palmer recovered from having his toes smashed and swept her off of her feet to the floor. "Umpff…" She hit the rocky ground with a hard, having the wind knocked out of her. Mac managed to roll onto her back, pinning her arms behind her. She looked up, painfully trying to keep her eyes open as the rain pelted her.

"You two never learn, do you?" Grinding his teeth, he squatted down slightly, pointing the gun straight at her face. "You don't mess with the guy with the gun."

This was it, she knew it and though she'd joked with Harm about 'going out with a bang', this wasn't quite what she had in mind. They didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, but maybe, if the heaven's hand any sort of heart, she'd be allowed to find him again, even if it's in another life. And the shot did come, ringing out loudly against the boom of the thunder. But, for some reason it didn't hurt her, at all. 'That's weird.' She thought, cracking open one eye noticing that Palmer was clutching a red spot on his chest. "What the hell!" She yelled, then stilled herself when she heard a crunching at the rocks by her head.

"Colonel." Looking down at her was Nichole Halloren with a smoking gun in her hand. She squatted down, helping Mac to a sitting position, then abandoned the Marine in order to grab the keys to the cuffs from Palmer's corpse. Wordlessly, she unlocked Mac and curiously watched as the Marine ran off back towards the building. Standing over Palmer she looked down at him and frowned, what a fool she had been. "You used me." She whispered into the air, then tossed the pistol at him. "But not anymore."

Mac wasn't sure what had happened between her and Nikki, but seeing as she suddenly didn't get shot in the back, it was a good sign that the other woman was setting them free. She sprinted, despite the pain in her limbs, at full speed towards the building, she had to get Harm out. Walking in, she found the building being consumed by the fire, the smoke made it difficult to see, but, thankfully, he was still near the opening where she'd left him. She came down to one knee, searching for his pulse, which was, thankfully still thumping against his flesh. It was slower than before, but, with any luck, they'd make it. Coughing, she yelled at him. "You hang on, damnit, that's an order!" He was too heavy for him to carry so she brought her arms under his, pulling as hard as possible to get him free from the building. Once she made it outside, Nikki was there to help out. "Help me pull him."

They moved Harm's unconscious form away from the building and Mac, out of exhaustion, fell next to him. "I called emergency services, Colonel. A medical helicopter will be here shortly."

"Why did you help us?" It wasn't that Mac wasn't grateful, but just a few days ago the woman seemed intent on doing just the opposite. "Why?"

Nikki glanced at Palmer's dead body and frowned. Looking back at Mac, she pulled her hair out of the way showing the ugly gash on the side of her head. Then, she pulled back her shirt sleeve to show her a deep bruise. "He turned into my father." Taking a deep breath, she let her tears mix with the rain and silently dropped next to Mac and Harm. Her shoulders heaved with each sob she let out. "Clark said he loved me. . .so did my father, but then he would strike. . .I couldn't live with that again. . .some. .somehow, I realized how much he'd used me."

Out of that statement, the only thing that came to Mac's head was Webb. Though he had never abused her, if he had continued on his drinking binges, she knew that is what it would lead to. With her hands resting on Harm's body, she could feel his warmth being sucked out with each breath he took, the rain wasn't helping any. She knew she was biased, but this man had to be the most wonderful, noblest, heroic man in the planet. Though they were bound to have arguments and disagreements, they would work it out and this would work, it had to. "Hang on, Harm." Her voice broke as she spoke to him, tears burned her eyes.

"You have a good guy there, Colonel." Nikki was jealous, especially knowing that she could have had him if she pushed it just a bit more. "Nothing happened between us. . .He didn't let me." And she admired him for that, for pushing her back each and every time. "I know it won't cut it, but. . .I am truly sorry."

"You're right, it doesn't cut it." She heard the helicopter nearing the foundry as well as the sound of sirens going of in the distance. "Get help."

When the helicopter touched down the medics immediately tended to Harm first as the pilot helped Mac inside, handing her a headset. Soon the police and firefighters arrived. She was surprised to see Halloren being cuffed and taken away, the whole scene helping her relax slightly. "Ma'am, has he stopped breathing at all?"

"Not that I am aware of and I've been with him most of the time." She yelled into the headset over the sound of the rotor blades. As the helo took off, the medics questioned her about his medical history and told them as much as she could.

2245 Zulu  
Bethesda Naval Hospital  
Bethesda, Maryland

"Mac!" "Colonel!" Simultaneously both Sturgis and Bud called out to Mac as they came in through the entrance of the ICU. She'd been sitting in the waiting room nursing a cup of coffee, while the nurses worked on settling Harm in. Looking up, she sighed in overwhelming relief at seeing two of their close friends.

Mac stood up and both men hugged her tightly. "You don't know how good it is to see you two."

Bud nodded in agreement. "What happened? We found blood in your apartment, carmeras, Agent Gibbs thinks that Palmer is alive, but he can't be because the building fell on him didn't it?"

Ah, good old bumbling Bud. Chuckling, she waved off the tirade of questions. "Woah, woah, slow down Commander." Sighing, she slipped into a chair and her friends followed suit. "Palmer _was_ alive, but he's dead now, I can assure you. . .As for what happened, that's kind of a wild story."

"We're all ears." Sturgis said, shifting slightly waiting to hear about their latest adventure.

It was hours later, almost around eleven pm when Harm was stable enough to be moved to a regular room. Just in case, until someone had claimed Palmer's body at the morque, a Marine guard had been placed outside of his hospital room. They'd given her a bed, but Mac preferred not to get too comfortable and, instead, opted to take vigil next to his bed. He had awoken earlier, the nurses said they had to sedate him as he kept begging them to see 'Mac', who they later found out was her.

They were both going to be just fine. Her bumps and scratches were tended to and the gash at Harm's side was sewed up properly. She had to laugh slightly when the doctor mentioned something about lousy suturing job. Mentioning that she'd done it in haste, in a poorly lit room, with nothing but a needle and black thread, the doctor, a Lieutenant Commander, quickly shut his mouth, then asked to be excused. "Lousy suturing, my six." She said chuckling quietly.

"Lousy or not. . .it hurt like hell." Glancing up, she met his blue eyes, dancing in amusement as he reached out a hand to her. "You look like hell, Mac."

Standing, she allowed him to pull her closer, careful not to injure his side. "You don't look so hot yourself, stickboy." Mac kissed him soundly, laughing slightly when he tried to keep her on top of him. "No, you need to rest." She moved away from him, keeping a grip of his hand as she slid back into the chair. "Palmer is dead, for real this time. . .Halloren turned herself in."

Harm closed his eyes tightly, letting out a deep breath of relief. It was amazing to him how just one man could do so much damage in such a short period of time. Palmer had wreaked a type of havoc that was impossible to fathom. If anyone else would have told him that Palmer was dead, he would have not rested until he saw a body, but he trusted Mac and knew that it was over. Now all they had to do was recover and get on with their lives.

Three Days Later  
1645 Zulu  
National Memorial  
Washington, DC

Despite all of the rough weather that they'd been facing the days prior, the moment Harm and Mac stepped out of Bethesda, the skies had parted and an unseasoned warmth greeted them. It was almost as if it was a sign that miracles could happen. They were fine, though the doctors suggested that Harm needed to have plenty of bed rest to recover. Not to mention, neither of them was allowed to set foot in ops until they came in front of either review board.

Holding Mac's hand, Harm led her down past the wall, taking the steps that he knew by heart, passing the names of the fallen which had, in some of his loneliest times, become friends. It was no secret that he often spent time at the Wall, and it wasn't just during Christmas eve. During the times when he needed guidance and couldn't take to the skies in his beloved biplane, this was his way of speaking to his father. He kept a hold of Mac's hand as his other reached up and ran over the etched stone. Closing his eyes, he said a silent prayer of thanks and when he opened them up and turned to Mac he found her in some quiet reverence of her own. Smiling, he pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her. 'Thanks, dad.'

It touched her that he would bring her purposely to the Wall before they departed to California. Normally he would come alone, but he practically begged her to tag along. He said he need her and Mac wasn't going to argue. "He's watching over you, you know." She said, as they stepped fully away and made their way to the parking lot.

"I'm not the only one he's watching." Harm said softly, giving her a knowing glance. "Then again, he knows I need you around, to keep me on my toes."

Once they arrived to the car, Mac slid away from him and stared at him in mock hurt. "Oh, is that the only thing I am good for?"

Smiling, he pulled her back to him, kissing her softly. "That and so much more."

"I love you, Harm."

"I love you, Sarah." Turning her around, he playfully shoved her towards the passenger side of his SUV. "Get in, there's some place we have to go."

Wherever she believed Harm would take her, this place wasn't quite it. She stood in front of the gates of the county fair while Harm tried to finagle his way inside. Once he did, he called her over and whispered in her ear to look "official." She did, presented her USMC ID and then walked along with Harm as they passed the dozens of concession stands. "Uh, why are we here, at this time?" She glanced around at the machinery, the rides that she wasn't very fond of, save for the ferris wheel and that time they'd taken little AJ up. "You normally do this when they're OPEN."

Chuckling, he lead her through the maze of stands and stopped in front of the familiar tent. "Madam Tatiana?"

Mac glanced up at the wooden sign, raising her brow slightly. "You suddenly need a palm reading?" She raised her hand up to his forehead, checking his temperature. "Nope, you _feel_ fine."

He stared down at her. "Funny, MacKenzie."

From inside the tent stepped out the woman, who immediately broke into a smile when she saw Harm and the woman. "Commander, it's good to see you alive."

"Madam Tatiana, _this_ is Sarah."

Unsurely, Mac took the woman's hand and shook slightly, feeling this surge of electricity. Madam Tatiana's eyes darkened and she turned to Harm with a nod. "Yes, this is Sarah."

"I wanted to thank you for everything you did."

Still holding Mac's hand she smiled brightly. "I don't do that for everyone Commander, but this case. . ." Turning, she looked at Mac who's eyebrows were already disappearing under her hair line from the confusion. "This case is special. . . I know you don't understand, Sarah, but he'll explain it to you. . .just believe. . . though I think you already know what happened. You have a great gift."

"You helped him find me?" Mac offered, as a moment of clarity passed from the woman to her. She took her hand back, slipping it into Harm's. "Didn't you?"

Tatiana didn't answer, but her smile spoke volumes. Taking their joined hands she glanced between the two. "Be happy." As she disappeared back into the tent, only Harm could hear her disembodied voice warning him. 'Finish it, Commander. . .make her your wife.' Little did she know, he was already thinking just that.

"I am not too sure I want to know what went on." Mac told him truthfully. "But I am sure it's a fantastic story."

That it was. "I'll tell you on the plane. You ready to take a much needed vacation?"

"Did you tell your parents we were heading back over?"

"Nah, but I am sure they won't mind." Actually, he had called them up and Trish was already preparing the room for them.

Mac laid her head against his chest, feeling the steady beating of his heart. Never would she have thought that something as simple as a heartbeat could make her so happy. It's steady rhythm giving her a new found belief that they would make it. They were alive and well, but, most importantly, they were together. And this was just another test to prove to both of them that nothing could keep them apart.

The End!


End file.
